


Much Abides

by Ripley95



Series: Much Abides [2]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Marriage, Mild Smut, Mostly Canon Compliant, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Post-Canon, Pregnancy, Smut, Some Plot, Starts during Citadel DLC, mostly just fluff but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-07-13 17:44:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 158,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16022840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ripley95/pseuds/Ripley95
Summary: My version of a Shenko happy ending. Mostly canon-compliant in that everything is basically the same with the one exception that Shepard and Kaidan get married during the events of the Citadel DLC, and then go on to live their lives after the end of the war.This is set mostly after the end of the trilogy, but does start near the end of Mass Effect 3.





	1. Some Sort of Canadian Delicacy

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the first one I ever started writing seriously. I know there's already a lot of Shenko fics out there, but somehow they never seemed to be enough, which is what led me to start writing my own. I took a year to write it, and at least had fun doing so, and figured I'd share it in the off chance that other people might also enjoy it.
> 
> I admittedly started writing this to be a purely Shenko fluff piece, and it basically turned into just as much of a mother/daughter feels fic, since Spacer is my favourite background, and I find Hannah to be such an underutilized character in Mass Effect. (Understandably so, but still.)
> 
> This is completely unbeta'd, so it's probably riddled with mistakes despite me reading through it.
> 
> Just some extra notes about the fic:  
> The first 7 Chapters happen before the end of the game, so they may feature some in-game dialogue that I thought was important to the rest of the fic, but added my own stuff around it.  
> There are a few "in between" chapters that either heavily rely on in-game conversation, so may be more boring, or I didn't consider AS important to the main story, but still wanted to leave in.
> 
> Thanks for reading my rant.

The _Normandy_ had been docked for mandatory repairs for about a week now. Shore leave had been far too eventful for anyone’s liking, thanks to Shepard’s clone having been on the loose. With Brooks finally being locked up, and the evil tank twin gone, the real Shepard was finally looking forward to being lazy for the first time in what seemed like years.

Turns out, relaxing was easier said than done. She tried to watch some vids on the ridiculously huge screen that Anderson had set up, but it was hard to focus on Blasto 6 when she had already lived the real thing with less cheesy dialogue. Worse yet, were the lingering thoughts that the war was still constantly being fought without her, even if it was just for these few days. She was riddled with guilt. She was supposed to be out there saving everyone, but instead she was here, watching crappy vids while countless people were dying every minute.

Rationally she knew that this war was taking a large toll on her, and she knew that in order to succeed for everyone’s sake, relaxing for a couple of weeks was probably a good thing. Being refreshed before the final push could only work in her favour.

Realising that she had been ignoring the TV for who knows how long now with her internal struggles, it dawned on her that she was mostly just lonely. Having lived most of her life on ships, she was used to being surrounded by people. Especially since she took over the _Normandy_. They were her family, and she was used to always having someone around.

Finally turning the TV off, and leaving her cocoon of a blanket fort, she decided to check her email to see if any of her crew had checked in. Not so much to her surprise, there was a message from Kaidan waiting for her.

 

::

_Hey Shep,_

_We haven’t had nearly as much time to spend alone together since our lunch at Apollo’s as I’d like. If you’ve got a chance to hang out while we’re on shore leave, let me know._

_KA_

::

 

Kaidan had mentioned that he wanted to take things slow, otherwise she would have invited him over a long time ago already. Hell he would be living here with her if she had her way. That message was enough for her to at least finally invite him over. She brought up her omni-tool and dialed him.

“Major Alenko speaking.”

“Hey Kaidan, it’s me. I got your message. I have a free night if you wanted to come over.”

“Of Course. I’m in the area. I’ll be right there,” he said, before eagerly hanging up the call.

Shepard laughed of the abruptness, but liked to think that meant he was happy for the offer. She figured they’d probably go out, so she took the chance to go wash up a bit before he got there. She didn’t usually wear much makeup, but she figured she could at least put on some nicer clothes than the sweats and tank top she was wearing, as well as fix her bed-head. Her wardrobe had been lacking in recent years, so she had to settle on a plain t-shirt and her fatigue pants.

She wouldn’t have had time for make up anyway, because Kaidan was there within 10 minutes of their call ending. He must have been staying somewhere close. She ran to the door, not realising how excited she actually was at the prospect of seeing him.

The door opened, and Kaidan gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Hey, Shep.”

Jane couldn’t help but give him a once over, and she was pretty sure she wasn’t being very subtle. He was looking incredibly tempting in his own fatigues. True, it was what he always wore, but all that really meant is that she got to admire him in this outfit constantly.

After admitting they still had feelings for each other when Kaidan was still at Huerta Memorial, they quickly started spending more time together. Shepard frequently made him a priority while he was still stationed on the Citadel, but even since his return to the _Normandy_ , they were found together pretty regularly. Whether it was just talking a lot more during their shared downtime, or working on reports, they didn't waste a chance to steal some time away with each other. Hell, they even had a few steamy makeout sessions in various locations around the ship, just none of them leading anywhere. Mostly thanks to Shepard always getting pinged away right before things got good. A couple times it was because they were walked in on. Rekindling a romance in the middle of a war had proven to be more difficult than either of them had contemplated, and they were both starting to resent even trying to take things slow.

That being said, they had easily slipped back into their comfortable camaraderie they shared on the SR-1. At the end of the day, Jane was just happy that Kaidan was a part of her life again. Cerberus had left them both with a bit of a sour taste in their mouth, and it had taken some work to finally get beyond that, but they had. She still missed the intimacy though.

“Hey.” Was all she managed to respond after a short pause as Kaidan had already taken off for the kitchen. She just stood there, admiring him until he turned the corner out of her line of sight, until she heard him start talking again, bringing her back to the present.

“So, what do you have here? I thought I could make us some dinner.”

It took her a second for her brain to catch up to what he had just said. “What? No. Kaidan, we’re going out.”

“Come on. We can go out any time we have shore leave, but we never get the chance to actually cook. We can crack open some beers. It’ll be fun, I promise.” He had already started pulling everything out that he seemed to be looking for, so it was a moot point.

“Fine. What are we having? Canadian delicacy of some sort?” She asked as she sat down watching him.

“Sure. Steak, bacon, beer. We’re just missing the poutine.”

“Poutine? What the hell is that?”

“It’s fries smothered in gravy and cheese curds. If I can ever find the ingredients for it, I’ll have to make it for you. You’d love it.”

Shepard decided not to respond verbally hoping not to offend him, although she couldn’t help the grimace that unwillingly spread across her face.

Kaidan looked up to her because of her silence, and noticed the horrified look. “Oh come on, it doesn’t really sound that bad, does it?”

“It really does.”

“Well everyone says that until they’ve actually had it.”

“I guess I’ll take your word for it.” Her nose was still scrunched up at the thought of it. “So, do you actually cook a lot?” she asked, realising that their life hadn’t allowed for any instances of this domesticity yet. Sure they had practically even lived together in a way, but when you’re aboard a starship, this type of thing is always taken care of for you. It was opening her eyes to a different kind of life they could share.

“Yeah. As a biotic, knowing how to cook can mean life or death. It was part of basic training for us. What about you?”

“Yeah, I love it actually. One of my old roommates back on Arcturus showed me how. He said eating nothing but that cafeteria crap was bad for morale. Obviously I haven’t had much chance to put that skill to use over the last few years being on the _Normandy_.”

“Is there anything you’re not good at?”

“Have you forgotten about my amazing dancing skills?”

“Of course, how could I have forgotten.”

They both shared a laugh at that before Jane continued, “I know you said you _could_ cook, but you didn’t say you were good at it. You’re burning the garlic.” She said as she got up trying to take over.

“Sit your ass back down and trust me, will you?”

She put her arms up in defeat and sat back down, taking a swig of her beer.

“Almost done.”

She glanced hesitantly at it. “Do we have hot sauce?”

“Jane,” he chided.

“Okay, okay. You know I’m just teasing right?... Mostly.”

He smiled as he plated their food, and passed one to her.

She took a bite as he sat down next to her. Her eyes shut involuntarily as she let out a groan of pleasure. “Okay. That’s amazing. I have to make you my trophy husband right this instant.”

Kaidan laughed. “I told you you’d like it. Although, in all fairness, I’m not sure how much of it is my skill and how much of it is real, fresh ingredients. How the hell did Anderson get all this?”

“No idea. But don’t sell yourself short. This is really good.”

They both just smiled at each other for a second before silently finishing their dinners in haste.

As she was eating, she realised that she wasn’t kidding about what she had just told Kaidan. She just said it trying to be a funny compliment as something people say, but was starting to understand that it was her true feelings coming out. Well, the husband part at least. He wasn’t some trophy. He was her equal. Her true partner in every sense of the word.

This wasn’t the first time she had felt this way. Before the _SR-1_ was destroyed, she was almost certain that Kaidan and she would end up married at some point. For a while she was starting to lose hope after the events on Horizon, but ever since he returned to the _Normandy_ , she slowly started seeing that future with him again.

Kaidan noticed that Jane had become a bit solemn as she finished her dinner.

“How about we take this to the couch?” He offered as she finished up.

“Definitely,” she smiled up at him.

As they walked over, he stopped at the bar to grab one of the wine bottles and some glasses and brought them over to the coffee table.

“Are you trying to get me drunk, Major?”

“Maybe.” He said a bit coyly.

He poured them both a glass and just watched Shepard, still obviously off in her own little world.

“What’s going on up there?” he said, as he poked her forehead. He realised that maybe he was already a bit drunk himself, figuring that he probably didn’t need to actually poke her to get his point across. He just looked at his finger and shook his head at himself.

She gave a small, silent laugh and sighed. “Kaidan, do you think we’ve finally reached a point that we're back to the way things used to be?”

He was silent for a moment, clearly contemplating, “No.”

“No?” Jane asked, the disappointment clearly not being hidden well.

“Oh, no no no. That’s not what I meant,” Kaidan said, understanding that he wasn’t getting his point across well. He quickly grabbed her hand in both of his to try to reassure her. “What I meant to say is that I think we’ve reached an entirely new place. In a lot of ways, it almost feels like we’ve surpassed where we used to be.”

“Oh. Well, good. I’ve been feeling the same way.”

“I’m glad. Is there any reason you’re bringing this up now?”

“Not exactly. I guess I just wanted to get a sense of how you were feeling about us.”

“When you put it like that, I’ve been feeling better about us than I’ve felt about anything.”

“Mmm, good. Does this mean we can finally have sex again?” she said, being somewhat coy.

Kaidan let out a small bark of laughter. “Jesus, Shepard. It’s not like I’ve been trying to hold out on that. I know I said I wanted to take things slow, but I didn’t mean that slow. It's just the war, you know," he said, more resigned than before. "There just hasn't been much time to commit to ourselves. And then any time things start to pick up, there's always something tearing us apart again.”

She let out another sigh in agreement. “You're right. But you know, the Captain’s quarters were always available."

“Oh, shit, you’re right," he joked out, like the idea had never come to him before. "To be honest, I just hated the idea of pulling you away from your work. You have more on your plate than anyone else. I didn't want to be a distraction. If things had gone their naturally, that would have been one thing, but I didn't want to bother you while you were supposed to be resting."

"You're not a distraction, Kaidan. Never," she said, as she gently caressed his face.

"I know," he said with a genuine smile of appreciation. It only lasted briefly before it turned a bit more coy, and he narrowed his eyes at her, his voice turning sultry. “But we have all the time in the world right now.”

“That we do,” Jane answered, as she moved to straddle Kaidan’s lap. She took her time capturing his lips with her own, and their newfound proximity was making it extremely obvious just how much Kaidan was reciprocating her feelings right now.

This was starting to feel good, and right, but she still wasn’t able to get out of her own head, because she was leaving things unsaid. Now was certainly not the time to be doing that, especially if she wanted to enjoy this. The only way she would be able to do that is if she got this off of her chest first.

She backed out of the kiss, somewhat out of breath, and gently patted Kaidan’s chest. “Wait, sorry. There’s just one more thing I have to say.”

Kaidan looked a little confused, but this was clearly important to her. They had waited this long, he could wait a little bit longer to hear what she had to say, even if his pants were starting to become painfully uncomfortable. “Okay,” he said, rubbing her back.

“Listen. This might get a bit morbid, but please just hear me out.”

She paused for a moment making sure she knew exactly what she wanted to say.

“I’m not going to pretend that I think we have the best odds right now. I’m not going to promise that you, or I, or both of us won’t die before the end of this war, if there even is an end. But I do know, that if this is our last few days, or weeks or months together, I want to spend them with you by my side. I want to marry you.”

“What?,” he said, somewhat shocked, and had to back up slightly to gauge her seriousness.

“I know you may not be ready yet, or you may not feel the same way as me, and that’s fine. Just say no, and we can go back to how things were a minute ago. But you need to know that I love you. I’ve loved you ever since the _SR-1_ , and nothing has ever changed that, despite our bumps in the road. If you were to die right now, it would destroy me. So, if you’re thinking of saying no to save ourselves from that kind of pain, the damage is already done. I don’t want to be away from you for another minute.”

Kaidan was a bit taken aback. He had to admit that he had already had similar feelings, but didn’t want to rush things. Especially to this level. That was more because he thought Shepard would think he was crazy though, and not because he didn’t feel the same way.

“Was that a formal proposal, Jane?”

“I meant everything that I said. So, yes.”

Kaidan moved his hand to gently rest between Shepard’s shoulder blades, caressing her neck with his thumb, looking her in the eye, so she would know how sincere he was. “I know that we’ve had our issues in the past, which were largely my fault, but I’ve never stopped loving you either. I think working through those issues has made us stronger in the long run, because if we made it through that, we can make it through anything. I want to marry you too, Jane.”

Shepard let out something between a single sob and a laugh, realising that she had been wanting this a lot more than she thought, and with Kaidan’s acceptance, he had admitted to wanting it just as much as she had.

He brought her into a deep, passionate kiss. She reciprocated by wrapping both of her arms tightly around his neck to pull him closer. They had gone too long without this kind of contact, that she needed to close the distance between them. She needed him in every way.

Kaidan slowly moved his hand down her back, and paused at her hips, playing with the hem of her shirt. His other hand matched it with a slow tease before starting to take it off. They pulled away from their kiss briefly with a groan of frustration until she was free from her top. She hadn’t even noticed it, but her bra had quickly followed it to the floor beside them before Kaidan gently lowered them down on the couch. She clumsily worked at untucking Kaidan’s shirt, realising that her desperation had quickly become unbearable to the point that it was making it hard to think straight.

They parted again for Kaidan to finish the job as Shepard tried to calm her breathing while she took in the sight of him. H e lifted the shirt over his head and Shepard moved her hands to the sides of his chest, slowly tracing them down over his taut abs until they finally reached their destination of his belt buckle. She unfastened it, and unzipped his fly, grateful to discover that he had decided to go commando today, looking back up at him with an eager smile. Instead of letting his straining erection free, she opted to stroke his length still inside the confine of his pants.

Kaidan brought his lips crashing back down to Shepard’s, letting their tongues explored each other. With the arm that he wasn’t using to support himself, he slowly moved his hand down from her collar bone to cup her breast, and caressed her firm nipple gently with his thumb. He didn’t linger as he went to mirror her earlier movements to undo her belt buckle and fly, as she continued to work him over. He quickly pulled down her jeans and panties, to just above the knees, only allowing her legs to part slightly. He glided his fingers through her closed lips and wasn’t surprised to see that she was already wet. As he ran his fingers along her clit slowly a few times, Shepard let out a shaky breath at his teasing. He could tell that she was ready and eager.

He also noticed that he must have been doing a good job because, though Shepard was still trying to please him as well, her eagerness and rhythm had definitely been interrupted in her distracted state. It didn’t particularly matter all that much. With how long it had been, and with the noises that Jane was making, it was bringing him surprisingly close to the edge. He didn’t want to finish like this. He needed to be with her, and regain that closeness, so he finally put a stop to what she was doing. He was desperate now. He took his hand away from Shepard to get her to stop too. She was panting and almost whining at the loss of his touch.

There was no time to be delicate anymore. He quickly released only one of Shepard’s legs from her jeans and panties, and didn’t even bother with his own pants. He released his erection and entered her to the hilt. She let out a gasp, as her panting began to increase. It was just like he remembered, and he knew he wouldn’t last long. She wrapped both of her legs around his back, opening herself up more, allowing him to go deeper. His movements quickened as she squeezed her hand between them so she could match his movements along her clit. Her other arm was wrapped under Kaidan’s arm, her hand gripping at his shoulder. Her fingers dug into him as she began to feel the tension uncoiling. He felt her tighten in spasms around him. That and the moan she elicited was enough to bring him with her. He continued his motions, but slower now as they both rode out their pleasure as much as possible.

He stayed on top of her for a minute as their breathing started to calm back down to normal. Kaidan turned his head to look at the clock.

“Christ! All of that took us less than 5 minutes. What are we? A couple of teenagers? For crying out loud, look at us. We couldn’t even properly undress ourselves.”

Shepard looked down and laughed. She hadn’t even realised that her pants were still dangling from one leg, or that Kaidan was practically half dressed still.

“What can I say, It’s been awhile.” She said, pulling her pants up with a smirk, as she sat up and put her shirt back on.

“You could say that again.”

Shepard went kind of quiet at that, caressing Kaidan’s face. “Have you really not been with anyone since me?”

“Not like that. There was that doctor, but it didn’t turn into anything. Does that really surprise you?”

“A little bit, honestly. It also makes me a bit sad. I mean, I haven’t been with anyone else either, but that’s at least less than a year for me. It’s almost 3 years for you. Not to mention that you thought I had died.”

Kaidan was silent with that for a moment.

“Well, you even just said it yourself. If I were to die, it would destroy you. Let’s just say that I’ve already lived through that. You’re not an easy woman to get over, Jane.”

She smiled at him reluctantly before nodding in understanding.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Kaidan let out a small silent laugh, “You’re the one who actually died, I don’t think you have anything to be sorry about.”

“I think you’re still the one who got the harder end of that deal.”

“Maybe you’re right. Forgive me if I’m the one being a bit morbid now, but for what it’s worth, I’d still rather be ruined by it twice, than not have this time with you now. Don’t get me wrong! I’m looking forward to the long and happy life we _will_ have together. But to even have a chance at anything at all with you right now is a blessing.”

“I feel that way too.” She moved to sit in his lap again, and just hugged him, arms tangled tightly around his neck. “Let’s get married.”

“I already said yes, Jane,” he said with a laugh.

“I mean right now.” She said as she moved back so she could see his face.

“How would we manage that exactly?”

“We’re Spectre’s, I’m sure we could fast track a marriage license. Ideally we would have someone close to us officiate something privately to keep it out of the tabloids, but if not, we’re on the strip. I’m sure we could go to some cheesy chapel if we had to.”

“You don’t want some big fancy wedding?”

She practically glared at him for that. She had never been one for show.

“Not at all.”

He just smiled at her reaction, realising that what he had asked was out of character for her, but he wanted to be certain.

“Are you sure this is really how you want to do this though?”

She took a moment to consider the options. “Well if I had my first choice, I’d want our mothers to be there, and our close friends. I still wouldn’t have wanted anything big or fancy though. But the important thing is that I'll be marrying you. I'm just afraid that if we don't do this now, we may never get the chance. Besides, something about it just being us is kind of romantic in itself. The biggest benefit will be that the press won’t be able to get wind of it until after it’s already happened. But ultimately, I just really don’t want to wait."

“Okay. The only thing I care about is that I'll be marrying you too. I kind of like the idea that it’ll be our little secret, even if it’s only for a while.”

Shepard leaned in to kiss him gently. Somehow it had seemed like they were 10 times closer than they had ever been before. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Jane.”

“What do you think about Hackett?”

“I mean, I like him just fine, but I wouldn’t say that I love him,” he said with a sheepish smile.

Shepard lightly punched his shoulder and scoffed. “Ugh, you nerd. I meant, how do you feel about him officiating? If I remember correctly, I think he might be on the citadel. I’m pretty sure he’s been ordained. He would technically be able to officiate.”

“You’re not worried about him turning us in for fraternization?”

“I’m pretty sure he already knows about us… and besides, I don’t think he’d be willing to do anything to jeopardize the mission. He knows we work well together, and we’re needed in this war right now more than ever. I don’t think he’d be willing to separate us at the moment.”

Kaidan laughed. “Well, I like Hackett, so if you don’t think we’re going to get in trouble for it, then I’m game.”

“It’s settled then.” She bent over to give him one last kiss before leaving for the back office to give him a call.

Kaidan sat there for a second, watching her leave as he shook his head with a big grin on his face. _‘She can’t even be engaged or get married like a normal person.’_ Though his thoughts may have sounded judgmental of her character, they were really filled with nothing but admiration. She had never been one to let things get in her way, and he was glad to see that this war wasn’t preventing her from finding happiness. This whole idea may have been a bit rushed, but Kaidan couldn’t remember a time that he felt happier.

He was just glad that he hadn’t permanently screwed things up with how he acted on Horizon, and they were even closer than they had ever been before. He hadn’t told Shepard yet, but before she had died, he was already thinking about asking her to marry him. He had even bought a ring, which in this moment he was really glad that he had decided to keep.

With that thought, he finally decided he better hurry up and do the other errands that needed to be done in order for this to work out. He would make a quick stop at the _Normandy_ to find the ring, try to go find somewhere that was still open to buy some wedding bands, and finally stop off at the Spectre offices to get a marriage license. _‘Probably about the most mundane thing you can even do at the Spectre office,’_ he mused to himself.

By the time he had come home, he was shocked to find out that everything seemed to be coming together. He had managed to pull everything off on his end, and Shepard had confirmed that Hackett was in fact on the Citadel, and said that he would be honoured to perform the ceremony the following morning.

For the first time since they had decided that they wanted to get back together, they had shared a bed. They lied facing each other in a comfortable silence, as they held each other. For the first time in an even longer time, Shepard fell asleep with a smile on her face.

Kaidan was grateful that she had fallen asleep before him. He had been craving for her closeness ever since they started reconnecting after Mars. How could he have been such an idiot. He should have just invited himself up to her cabin that first night after Apollo’s. Chivalry be damned.

When he had come back to the apartment, he had wanted to give her the engagement ring, and admit that he had been thinking about this for years. In the end he realised that there weren’t enough moments like this. Quiet, and filled with adoration for each other. When would they get another opportunity to just hold each other like this? He had opted to wait, but now that she was asleep, he took this chance to sneak the engagement ring onto her finger. He could explain everything to her tomorrow.


	2. Then Comes Marriage

Kaidan woke to an empty bed. He was surprised that Jane didn't wake him. Shepard was the most observant person he’d ever met, there was no way she hadn’t noticed the ring, and he was almost sure she would have been expecting an explanation.

He glanced over at the clock groggily to see that it was just before 0700. He was honestly a bit shocked that he was able to sleep in that late. He was so used to waking up at 0600 on the dot for years that he thought it was permanently ingrained at this point. The high of the night before must have been enough to relax him enough to be able to break the habit that was more than a decade in the making.

Hackett was scheduled to be here in about an hour, which was plenty of time to get ready and have some coffee.

It was then that he noticed that the shower was running. Figuring that Shepard already had a head start on him getting ready, he opted to join her.

Kaidan jumped out of bed and walked over to the bathroom. Shepard always loved her showers scolding hot, so the bathroom was full of steam. It looked like she must have been finished with the actual washing part, and was just enjoying the warm water flowing over her body. She looked relaxed, and at peace. Not something for which he had been accustomed to lately. This was another simple joy that they didn’t have enough time for anymore. Having a shower that was longer than 5 minutes, and instead of only washing away the grime from a battle, it also washed away all of your thoughts and problems. It was refreshing to see her taking advantage of it.

“How about you stop staring, and come join me, Major?” she asked, seductively.

This was that keen observation he was talking about. Even with the noise of the shower, and her eyes being shut, she still knew he was there, watching her.

“Is that an order, Commander?”

Shepard chuckled as she opened her eyes to look at him. “If that’s what’ll get you in here with me, then sure, consider it an order.”

He just smiled at her softly before disrobing, and joining her under the warm stream. He placed himself flush against her back, and ran his hand over her arm gently, kissing the part of her shoulder that met her neck.

“You know, I proposed to you, right? You didn’t need to go get me an engagement ring,” she said, breaking the silence.

“Ah, so you did notice.”

They were both looking down at the rather simply beautiful ring now, Kaidan peeking over her shoulder, pulling her hand up with his. It was a plain silver band with a small, radiant cut diamond. The ring was not something that he thought represented Shepard well, but more something that he thought she would appreciate. She hated being flashy. It was something that would make a statement of their love without being overtly annoying, or draw that extra unwanted attention easily.

"And here I was, worried that you might have just drunkenly agreed to my proposal," she said with a smirk.

He paused for a moment, admiring that ring, his own smirk taking over his face at just how wrong she was.

“Nope, definitely not just a drunken decision. I actually got this almost 3 years ago now.”

“What?” She turned to face him now, actually a bit shocked at the admission.

“Yeah…. You may have beaten me to it, but I’ve been wanting to do this for quite some time. I bought the ring on our last shore leave before Alchera. I had originally intended to try to plan some trip together for our next shore leave, but as time was going on I was finding it harder and harder to wait. I had finally just decided that it didn’t matter where we were or what we were doing, I just had to ask you. That was the day the collector ship showed up.”

“For 2 years, I held onto it because it was one of the only physical things I had to remember you by. Then after Horizon… I don’t know. I guess I just never wanted to give up hope for us. I kept it as a reminder of what we had together, and who you really were, even if I couldn’t see it at the time. And then finally, after Mars and your visits to the hospital, I could feel something pulling us together again. That’s when I had the thought, that maybe if we actually get through this war, I’d finally get the chance to give it to you like I had intended to years ago.”

Throughout his admission he hadn’t really kept eye contact with her, instead looking at the ring, and all that it symbolized, but finally he met her gaze. “That is, until you talked some sense into me last night. So, you might feel that this was rushed, or just some drunken admission, but I’ve just been waiting.”

He could have sworn that there were tears building in her eyes, but it was hard to tell, being in the shower.

Shepard didn’t say anything, she just grabbed him by the back of the head, and pulled him to her aggressively to capture his mouth. Her hands were running through his hair, tugging slightly with her building anticipation.

They were both suddenly very thankful for the non-slip floors that had been installed in the showers, as Kaidan lifted her, so she could put her legs around his waist. She could feel his length hardening underneath her, as he pushed her against the wall. She began to writhe against it as much as she could in her limiting position. Their tongues continued to explore each other for a moment, until Kaidan moved to kiss down her neck, and along her collar bone. With her being settled against the wall, he had enough leverage to use one hand to move around to her front. With his palm rested low on her pelvis, as he used his thumb to draw gentle circles around her clit. He recaptured her mouth with his as she let out a soft moan.

They continued like this, until Jane was no longer able to concentrate, her breathing becoming erratic. Kaidan could tell that she was close. He wasn’t exactly far behind her with the way she was working her hips over him. He finally took that as the opportunity to glide into her as she let out a whispered gasp. Kaidan quickened the circles over her swollen nub, as he rocked into her. He could feel her spasming around him as she finally released a shuddered breath that he hadn’t realised she’d been holding. Kaidan used this opportunity to move his other hand back to have both supporting her again. He picked up his pace and force to elongate her orgasm, and push himself over the edge with it. He kissed her one last time as they caught their breath, and gently put her back down.

Kaidan let out a small chuckle as he stepped back.

“What?”

“Maybe we should get engaged more often if it’s just going to lead to this.”

Shepard matched his big dopey grin until a moment of realisation dawned on her. “Shit! What time is it?!”. She quickly glanced at the clock outside of the shower. “SHIT! It’s past 7:30 already!”

Kaidan just smiled as he watched her becoming frantic, knowing that it was plenty of time for him to get ready still. Shepard wasn’t one to regularly wear make-up, but if he had to guess, she probably wanted to use a modest amount today, as well as dry her hair, so he would graciously grant her the continued first use of the shower. She was mostly done at this point anyway.

Both of them had decided to wear their dress blues, Shepard’s with her skirt instead of her usual pants, and a modest pair of heels instead of her dress shoes.

As it turned out they had pretty perfect timing. The doorbell rang just as they were finishing up.

They both rushed to the door, and took a quick look over each other to make sure they looked presentable. Both gave each other a silent nod as they straightened out their jackets before opening the door. As Hackett entered, they both offered a standard salute.

“Admiral Hackett,” They both said in unison.

“At ease,” He said with a nod. He was standing with four armed guards, which were his standard entourage these days. He turned to them, and told them to kindly wait outside.

Shepard closed the door behind him as they all walked into the apartment.

Hackett was the first to break the silence. “I have to say, I’m surprised that you would openly admit your relationship to me.”

With Hackett so readily agreeing to perform the ceremony last night, neither of them had been expecting him to even bring up the issue.

“It’s not going to be a problem is it?” Shepard asked.

“Fraternization is far from our biggest concern right now, honestly. You’re not going to be brought in for this if that’s what you’re worried about. Though it does lead to my first matter of business here. As is the usual standard for this kind of thing, I do have some questions for you both, as well as the added complication of your jobs, I will have to address some concerns.”

They both looked at each other slightly anxious, before turning back to Hackett, nodding in acknowledgement.

“Okay, well firstly, I should say that even though you’re not in trouble, the rules on fraternization are there for a reason. I consider you both quite rational people, so I don’t expect this to be a problem, but now more than ever, your mission’s success is paramount. It has to come before anything else, and we don’t want emotions to get in the way. I suspect whether you get married or not, it’s not going to change how you feel about each other though, which is why I agreed to perform the ceremony. That being said, if either of you even suspect that you won’t be able to perform your duties to their fullest extent because of your relationship, then the Major will have to be transferred.”

Somehow in all of their excitement yesterday, they didn’t expect to be lectured today. The reality of the situation was starting to weigh on them, though neither of them was regretting it by any means.

“Understood,” Kaidan said with a nod.

“Good. You’ve both done me proud so far, so I don’t anticipate this being a problem, but I need you both to be aware of what’s at stake.”

“Of course,” Shepard said this time.

Hackett nodded, seeming pleased that they were taking it seriously. He wouldn’t have expected anything less.

“Alright. Well that brings me to the actual pre-marriage counseling part.”

“Is that really necessary?” Shepard asked.

“It may or may not be, but whatever the case, it’s the standard. I take the marriages I perform seriously. I’ll have you know that I have a pretty high success rate, and I’m not looking to screw that up. This is always the first step. Especially with how rushed you seem to be, I want you both to hear it.”

“Okay,” they had both agreed, but Kaidan was the one to verbalise it.

“I know how desperate things can seem in the middle of a war. You try to grasp on to anything to feel hope, and feel alive. I want to make sure that you’re both serious about this. If everything goes to plan, there will come a time that this war will be over, and passions can die out. Especially after the lives you two have led, are you sure that when things calm down, this is something that you’ll still want to have after all is said and done? It’s not something that you’re going to regret?”

“I can’t fully speak for Kaidan, but honestly sir, I’ve been craving normalcy for some time now. I take my sense of duty seriously, and this war is too important to set aside for my own wishes, but assuming we win this thing... that life is the one thing that I do hope for. It’s what I’m fighting for.”

“She may as well have been speaking for me too, because that’s also how I feel, sir.”

Hackett took a moment to take in their responses. “May I ask just how long you two have actually been together?”

Kaidan looked over to Shepard, as she nodded her agreement to tell him the truth. “We’ve been together since the battle for the Citadel, sir.”

“I see. I suppose this isn’t quite as rushed as I previously thought.”

“No, it’s not. We simply weren’t sure if we’d ever get another chance.” Shepard said, giving Kaidan a half smile.

“Well, not that I doubted you before, but that makes me feel better about your abilities to separate your love life from your work. You both have certainly proven yourselves over the past few years, and this hasn’t gotten in the way so far, so I trust that you will continue to work well this way.”

“The last thing I want to talk about is marriage advice in general,” Hackett continued. “Marriage won’t always be easy, and too many people tend to give up when things get tough. When you agree to marry someone, it’s with the intention of spending the rest of your lives together. To be able to have someone to lean on through the hardships in life, just as much as celebrate the good. They come hand in hand. When things get hard, and they likely will at some point or another, remember the vows you’re making today, and why you made them.”

Kaidan and Jane both listened to him intently, making sure that he knew they were taking his advice seriously.

“Now, with all that yammering behind us, I have to ask, are you both ready to get married?”

Shepard and Kaidan smiled at each other.

“Absolutely. It would be a privilege to be able to grow old with Jane. With lives like ours, I’m sure we’ll go through our fair share of hardships, like you said, but we’ve always been able to work through them in the past. I have faith that we’ll be able to continue to do so in our future.”

“I’ve never wanted anything more,” Jane said, with a huge grin. “To growing old and fat together!”

Hackett laughed at her surprisingly informal response. “Very astute, Shepard. Alright then. I’m a very busy man, so let’s get to it shall we?”

Shepard guided them over to the hallway with the waterfall, thinking it was the most picturesque area of the apartment. Over the rather short ceremony, they exchanged the typical vows, truly meaning every word. Devoting themselves to each other. They exchanged rings, however they opted to keep them with their dog tags for now, mostly because they would feel bulky under the armour that they constantly had to wear. Shepard decided to join her engagement ring with it for this reason too. They shared a deep, but respectable kiss, as they held each others hands, and laughed out of pure joy. Glyph even took a few pictures so they’d have something to remember this moment by.

Admiral Hackett congratulated them both before leaving, even giving Shepard a hug, rather uncharacteristically.

Kaidan and Shepard were both just happy to have that over with. Maybe Kaidan would take this time to ask her to marry him again… maybe a few times. They had some catching up to do after all.


	3. In Between CH 1: Space Divas

Shepard was waiting at the Casino for Miranda. She had seen her a few times during the war now, but it was always in the midst of chaos, until finally resolving the issues with her father, resulting in his death.

Their friendship had admittedly gotten off to a bit of a rocky start. Shepard had always been thankful that Miranda’s hard work was the only reason she was alive, but in the beginning that was the only thing she liked about her. They had constant back and forths about the morals of Cerberus.

Shepard may have been working for them at the time, but that was only because she agreed with them that the Collectors were as serious a threat as Sovereign once was. She cursed the fact that the responsibility for the galaxy was resting solely on her shoulders again and that no one seemed to believe how significant the situation was, except for Cerberus.

Just because she was working with them though, didn’t mean that she would ever trust them, or believe in their general cause. “Humanity first, and at any cost” was not a sentiment that she wanted to be a part of, much less contribute to. Many of her best friends were not human, and she would never see them as anything but equals. Not to mention the horrific means that they were known to take for any kind of advantage.

Miranda’s argument was always that ‘Not all of Cerberus’ operations followed the same protocols,’ and ‘Most of the bases that Shepard had encountered before her untimely death just painted them in a bad light.’ It had been a big point of contention when Shepard always challenged those thoughts by saying that the illusive man and Cerberus in general even allowing their terroristic actions to occur was a bigger sign of what they actually stood for, and how they would stop at nothing to get ahead.

Whether Jane liked it or not at the time, she was stuck working with Miranda until her mission was complete, so she made it her personal mission for them to get to know each other. Part of what made Commander Shepard so effective, was having the trust of her team on the battlefield, and she wouldn’t be able to trust her if all she knew about her was her affiliation with Cerberus.

They shared many conversations throughout their time together. Despite Miranda’s constant reminders at how ‘perfect’ she was, Jane could easily see that she was just as troubled and human as everyone else. For the most part she could see that Miranda was always well intentioned, and didn’t seem to forego her own set of morals to bend to Cerberus.

As they actually started working together, slowly but surely, Shepard could see changes in Miranda. Witnessing the results of the other Cerberus operations with her own eyes, was starting to make her question things. The first major straw was David Archer. Seeing what his own brother was willing to let happen to him in the name of their experiment. Miranda’s sister was the most important thing in her life, and she couldn’t imagine anyone allowing such an atrocity to happen to their family. It only made things worse that it was all done to such extremes because _“the illusive man doesn’t broker failure.”_

She finally handed in her resignation at the Collector base, when the illusive man wanted to use the Reaper tech that they had only just barely managed to survive from. That had seemed like the ultimate betrayal to humanity, not to mention the rest of the galaxy, trying to keep that tech when so many lives had been brutally sacrificed to be made into a weapon against them in what would be the greatest war they’ve ever faced.

Watching Miranda tell off the illusive man in that moment had made Shepard extremely proud. But more than that, she had felt like that trust that they had been working towards for so long had truly and fully come to fruition. They had learned to trust each other before this final mission, but now Shepard had no lingering feelings of doubt. Miranda had shown that she now believed in Shepard more than Cerberus, and was willing to risk her life and safety to have left their cause. They were both sure that Cerberus would be looking for them after this. They weren’t known for letting people out of their grasp easily, but Miranda and Shepard were more resourceful than the average person after all. They both had faith that they could get away from them.

When they eventually had to part ways after the success of their supposed suicide mission, Shepard knew that they were leaving as friends. It was rather unexpected to both of them, but with everything they had gone through together up to this point, Shepard considered Miranda to be among some of her closest ones, comparable to the relationships she had made with her crew on the SR-1 even.

As much as Shepard may have appreciated their friendship, Miranda appreciated it more. She was never one to have many friends easily, but especially after leaving Cerberus, she realised she had no one important anymore save for her sister and the Commander. Miranda loved her sister more than anything, but even Oriana had only recently learned of her existence. She had seemed more than willing to have a relationship with Miranda, but she knew it would take time to really get to know each other. It was nice to have a friendship outside of that, and she was grateful to have Shepard.

Shepard had been lost in thought about their time together while nursing a glass of wine at a table looking over the casino floor while she was waiting. Her attention was broken when she saw a woman in a floor length red gown walking towards her. Not surprised to see that it was Miranda looking stunning as always, she threw back the rest of her drink, so she could go over and greet her.

“Miranda.”

“Cute outfit Shepard. Perfect.”

“I feel like I should be the one telling you that. Maybe cute isn’t the right word for it though. Whatever. You look amazing, but I’m sure you already know that.” Shepard said teasingly.

“Oh shut up. I thought we might try an evening out.”

“Sounds like you finally have some time to catch your breath.”

“I do. Just… not used to it. Feeling a bit lost. It’s kind of sad, really. I got to thinking we need a break. No point in saving the galaxy if we can’t enjoy it once in a while.”

“I have to say, I’m a bit surprised.”

“I thought you might be. I can be… severe.”

“You’re focused. Believe me, I understand.”

Miranda smiled and started to play at one of the tables, as Shepard watched. She had lost of course.

“Damn, I’m not very good at this. Truth is, Shepard, I’m not very good at being normal, either. Bit of a disaster, really.”

“I get it. We just need a little practice.”

“Any ideas?”

“I don’t know. Maybe we can talk about regular stuff. No evil clones, no ticking time bombs… just talk.”

“Regular stuff? Okay. Like shoes or something?”

“Sure… We’re not really girly girls, are we?”

“No. We can’t pretend to be anything other than troubleshooting space divas.”

“You know, that does sound pretty cool.”

“It does.”

There was a slight pause as they contemplated their failures at normalcy. Then Shepard gave her a small smile.

“I may have some outlandishly normal gossip you’d be interested in.”

“Oh, do tell.”

“I got married.”

“What? Are you serious?”

“Yup.”

“I guess it’s my turn to say I’m surprised. You and Kaidan must have picked things back up right where they left off.”

“I never said it was Kaidan.” Shepard said playfully.

“You better be joking, otherwise that would be enough to convince me that you’re the clone.”

Shepard laughed. “Alright. You got me. Of course it’s Kaidan.”

“When did this happen? Why wasn’t I invited? I have to say, I’m a bit offended.”

“Don’t be. No one was invited.” Shepard glanced at the time on her omni-tool quickly. “And it happened about 14 hours ago, give or take.”

“Jesus, Shepard! What the hell are you doing here with me? Shouldn’t you be plowing him until you both pass out from exhaustion or something?”

“Eww. I really don’t need you having that mental image of me. That being said, we’ve already had our time for celebrating. Besides, he wanted some time to talk to his mom. I still haven’t even met her, so he decided it would be best to break the news to her alone. When I got your message inviting me out, he told me to go enjoy myself.”

“How could you not have at least mentioned that you were engaged?”

“Because our engagement only lasted about 12 hours too. Seriously Miranda, don’t be offended. We didn’t leave anyone in the dark on purpose, it’s more that things just happened quickly.”

Miranda gave her a pointed look now, “There better not have been any shotguns involved in this wedding. And I mostly mean the figurative kind. Knowing you, I wouldn’t put it past you to literally have a shotgun at your wedding.”

“I’m not pregnant if that’s what you’re asking. Don’t worry,” Shepard responded with a laugh. “God, could you imagine? What awful timing that would be.”

“Hmm, that it would,” Miranda said with a smile. “I’m really happy for you, Shepard. I don’t know him very well, but I know how much it killed you after what happened on Horizon. I’m glad you two were able to work it out.”

“Thanks, Miranda. Me too.”

“I would say that this is all pretty far from, how did you put it? _‘Outlandishly normal?’_. Who gets married after 12 hours of being engaged?”

“Ha… I guess you’re right, that isn’t exactly normal.”

“Not at all. But it is very you.”

They paused in silence for a moment, taking in their surroundings once again.

“All right. Let’s quit worrying about our ability to be normal, and just enjoy ourselves… at least until we run out of credits,” Shepard said.

“Right. Need more wine.”

“Now you’re talking. Waiter, space diva needs more wine!”

“Oh god, I’m going to regret this,” Miranda stated with the most elegant way of face palming.

“What? We’re a couple of girls out on the town. What’s the worst that can happen?”

Miranda just scoffed at that, knowing Shepard shouldn’t be testing her luck by even saying that.

“Come on partner. Let’s start some trouble.”

Miranda just laughed at her as she shook her head. They both started drinking their wine.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’d make a good mother.” Miranda smiled at her, as Shepard looked at her, completely stunned.

“What? What brought that on?”

“Well, it’s true, what you said. The timing may be awful right now, but if we make it through this, and it’s something you want, I think you’d be good at it.”

“Really?”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean, Shepard. In the short time that we’ve known each other, you’ve always so easily shown how deeply you care about the people that are important to you. You’d do anything for them.”

“Well, thanks I guess. That means a lot to me, Miranda.” She paused for a moment before hesitantly asking, “Can I even get pregnant?”

“Are you asking because of what we had to do to put you back together?”

“Yes… I mean… I died, right? I just kind of figured that wasn’t even an option anymore.”

“I see. Well, honestly if it had been up to me at the time, I wouldn’t have wasted the resources or time on your reproductive system. It simply wasn’t necessary for bringing you back, so I personally didn’t think it was important.”

“Luckily for you though, the Illusive Man was adamant about bringing you back exactly as you were, that included. Firstly, because of the more scientific aspects, like ensuring your hormonal chemistry was unchanged, in turn also meaning that your thought processes would be the same as they had been before. Secondly, because the truth is, there was no way of knowing with 100% certainty, what made you tick deep down inside. We did our research learning all about who you were and what you were about, but you can’t learn everything about a person without having access to their thoughts. We had no idea what your personal motivations may have been for your determination and resolve. In the off chance that the only reason you fought so hard was the idea that you were fighting for a safe future to have a family in, the Illusive Man didn’t want to bring you back, only to have your reasons for fighting be gone.”

“Personally I always thought that it was a rather silly reason, but then again, I did want to put that control chip in you too. It’s just one of the many things that I’m glad that I listened to the Illusive Man about in relation to the Lazarus Project now that I actually know you though.”

“Hmm… Good to know. Thanks, Miranda.”

“For what?”

“For what you said. And, you know, for bringing me back to begin with.”

“You’re welcome, Shepard. For what it’s worth, I think you’ve done a lot to fix me too. So… thanks for being there for me.”

“Of course. You’re family.” Shepard threw back the rest of her drink. “Alright. Enough mushy crap. We’re here to have fun, right? Let’s go celebrate!” she said as she started walking towards some of the games.

Miranda just shook her head and laughed, as she started to follow after her.


	4. Hannah Shepard

Shepard was starting to wake up. Everything was still dark, but there was a comfortable warmth. She was nestled closely against Kaidan with his arm wrapped securely around her. She just laid there for a minute, with a smile on her face. This is what she had to look forward to every morning for the rest of her life, and she couldn’t remember when she’d been happier.

She glanced over at the clock. 5:45.  _ ‘Damn this stupid military conditioning. Will I ever sleep in again?’ _ She didn’t even have to be up until 6 usually, but her body’s internal alarm clock never let her wait for the actual alarm to go off, thus she was always awake right around 5:45. 

Even with how late she was up with Miranda last night, she knew there was no hope for going back to sleep. She opted to go downstairs, and check to see if she had any messages, but not before gently placing a kiss on Kaidan’s arm as she sneaked out from under it.

She had a few messages, but the one she was most glad to see was from her mother.   
  


 

_ From: Hannah Shepard _

_ Sweetheart, _

_ It’s been a long time since we spoke. Too long. Admiral Hackett recruited me to work on the Crucible. Maybe you knew that. I don’t know, but that’s where you’ll find me. _

_ Could you call me please when you get a chance? I would love to talk to you. _

_ Mom _

  
  


_ ‘Wait… Shit… Admiral Hackett didn’t tell her did he?’ _ Shepard double checked the clock. The crucible project should be running on the same clock as the citadel, and Shepard knew that she seemingly inherited her internal clock from her mother. She should have a minute to talk before her shift started.

Kaidan had already told his mom about their marriage the day before. He had opted to talk to her alone since she and Shepard have never met, but Kaidan assured her that it all went well. His mom had known that Kaidan had feelings for her and that they were together, so it wasn’t an extreme shock. He had still thought that she might be upset though.

Kaidan was all that she had left with his father being presumed killed in action, and he thought that she would have been disappointed at her missed opportunity to be the doting mother who planned their wedding. In actuality, he should have realised that his mother was a rational woman, and she was just happy that he was able to find love and support, especially in such trying times. She had expressed how she was sad that she couldn’t be there for them, and how much she couldn’t wait to meet Jane in person. She had promised that when this war was over, there was going to be nothing keeping her away from meeting Jane once and for all, and they were going to celebrate their marriage in some capacity, even if it was just a toast in private.

Since Kaidan had already told his mom, she figured it was only fair that she told her own mother now too.

It took a minute for the call to go through.

“Hannah Shepard here.”

“Hi, mom.”

“Oh, honey. It’s so good to hear your voice.”

“This is a surprise. It’s been a long time.”

“It has. I just felt I needed to-- I think about you every day. I try not to worry. The other day I was remembering the bedtime stories we used to make up. You had your own ship and crew. The stories were always filled with adventure and danger.”

“Oh, yeah. Huh. Haven’t thought about that in a while.”

“Me neither. You’d always swoop in to punish the bad guys to save the day. So… there you are. Even when you were little, you dreamed of the life you have.”

“Is that the reason you wanted me to call?”

“No… I just want you to know that I am proud of you, honey. So proud.”

“Thanks, mom. I know I don’t say it enough, but your approval means a lot to me. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetie.”

“Do you actually have another minute? I know you’re about to go on duty. Did Hackett talk to you?”

“I can talk for a bit. Being Rear Admiral comes with some benefits, you know. I don’t have to be on duty for another hour or so. Of course, my internal alarm clock thinks differently. And, yes, Hackett talks to me all the time, but I’m guessing by the tone of your voice, that he hasn’t mentioned whatever it is you’re talking about.”

Shepard let out a small laugh at how similar they were. “Congratulations by the way. I had heard about your promotion a little while ago. I’m sorry I haven’t had time to talk to you before now.”

“Oh, don’t be silly. I don’t think there’s anyone out there with more things on their plate than you at the moment. I’m just happy to have the chance to talk to you now. But thank you.”

“Yeah. Well, you deserve it, mom.”

“So what was it that Hackett wants me to know?”

“Nothing. It was more that with the timing of your message, and how you were talking before, I thought he may have blabbed a secret.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Um… I don’t really know how to say this.”

Jane and her mother had become very close mostly throughout her adult life, but that didn’t change the fact that this woman was still so intimidating to her sometimes. Even if she was Commander Fucking Shepard, this was Commander Fucking Shepard’s mom, and the fear of doing something potentially disappointing to her, was making it very hard to admit to doing something so important entirely behind her back.

“Out with it then, you’re starting to scare me.”

She paused for another second before just blurting it out. “I got married.”

“Jesus Christ, is that all? I thought you were going to say you were pregnant or something. You’re not, are you? That’s not why you got married. Right?”

“Why does everyone keep thinking that?! Can’t I just get married to someone I love without people thinking that?”

“Not if your marriage is so out of the blue like this. I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone.”

“It’s Kaidan, mom.”

“Oh. Well that changes things a bit.”

“You don’t sound happy.”

“It’s not that, honey. You just said that you loved him, and there’s no reason for me to doubt that. But after everything you told me about what happened between you two after Cerberus brought you back to life, I do have to say I’m a little bit surprised. You sounded so hurt. This is just the first I’ve heard of you two even being back together.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s fair. But now I’m afraid I may have unfairly painted him in a bit of a bad light. You’re my mom, and one of the only people that I felt like I could talk to about it at the time, so I may have just entirely vented all of my hurt feelings about him. At the end of the day, and if roles had been reversed, if he was the one working for Cerberus, I really don’t think I could have trusted him either at that point. Please just give him a chance.”

“Are you happy?”

“More than I’ve ever been. And saying that in the middle of this damn war should mean something.”

“It means a lot, Jane. That’s honestly all I need to know. But maybe you should know that I already had my own opinions of him. I don’t know if he told you in any of this ordeal, but back before Alchera, he had actually called me at one point.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. He very purposely stated that he was not asking for my permission to marry you, because he didn’t think that you would appreciate needing permission to do anything, much less such a major life decision, but that didn’t change the fact that he was hoping for my blessing. Honestly, the way in which he asked me made me respect him a great deal. It meant that he knew you very well, that’s for sure.” Hannah laughed as she remembered their conversation. “But it also meant that he wanted to stand by his own convictions while still respecting your wishes, and he wanted to include me. It seemed like you had fallen in love with a decent man, and I was happy for you. Of course I had given him my blessing.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me this?”

“Well, if you would recall, the first time that I actually talked to you after you were brought back, was already after you had confronted Kaidan. At that point you were so upset. I didn’t think it would do anyone any good to tell you. I’m sorry if that was the wrong decision.”

“No, no, you’re probably right.”

“I even met him once.”

“You did? When?”

“At your memorial service. Your whole crew seemed absolutely distraught, but Kaidan seemed… I don’t know. Empty? Of course, at the time not many people knew that you were together, much less how serious you were, but I could very clearly see how much of a toll your death was having on him. He cared about you a great deal. Of course after you had called me so sad and angry after seeing him for the first time again on Horizon, I was upset that he hurt you. You’ll always be my baby, and I hated hearing you like that, but I also realised that what you two were going through was quite a complicated situation. It wasn’t exactly fair for me to judge him so harshly. And from my previous experiences with him, I didn’t think he could dismiss you like that without some kind of reason. But none of that mattered at the time, because you were hurting, and I needed to be there for you.”

“Thanks mom. Why do you have to be so perfect?”

“I don’t know if I would say that.”

“Just take the damn compliment. So you’re really okay with all of this?”

“Like I said, as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. I’m still a little surprised about the rush. You’re sure you’re not pregnant?”

“Christ. Mom, I already said I’m not.” Jane paused for a moment. The conversation that she and Miranda had the previous night had admittedly made her realise how much she might want such a thing. “Would it really be so bad if I was?”

“Well you can’t deny that the timing would be horrendous.”

“No, you’re right about that. But if there was no war going on?”

“Then of course not. Listen, you have no idea how hard it is to keep my wishes to myself, but I’ve secretly always hoped for some grandchildren. With the direction your career has turned, I always wondered if it would ever happen. It’s just not fair for me to burden you with things that I want though, especially with everything you’re going through. Now that you’re married though, it might be harder for me to not nag you about it after this war is over,” Hannah said with a laugh. “Is there any particular reason that you’re bringing this up now?”

“Not really. It’s just not something that I ever had much of a chance to think about before. I mean, I guess I always used to think that it would probably happen someday. It was always more of an abstract thing that would happen later thanks to the nature of my career. But now that things have gotten serious with Kaidan again-- I guess it’s just nice to think about a possible future like that. I think Kaidan would make a great dad. He deserves it.”

“Oh honey. We’ll get through this, and then I’m sure you’ll get your chance. You deserve it too if it’s something you want.”

“Thanks, mom.”

“Well, I really should be going now though. When this is all over, I’ll come see you. We’ll celebrate you getting married.”

“Kaidan’s mom said the same thing. Maybe we can all get together.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea. I’m looking forward to meeting her.”

“Me too.”

“I love you, Jane. Good luck.”

“I love you too mom. Bye.”

Shepard was reclining in the chair now, with her feet up on the desk. It felt good to talk to her mother. Ever since she boarded the first _ Normandy _ , her life had become so hectic that she barely had time to send her a message much less actually talk to her. This was something that she silently vowed to change after the war. She missed her.

It was then that she realised there were sounds coming from the kitchen. She watched as Kaidan gathered supplies to cook them a nice breakfast.

“Did I wake you? I wasn’t being too loud was I?”

“I think it was the cold empty bed that woke me, but I’m also finding it hard to sleep in. I’m pretty sure I just woke up thanks to the ingrained military wake-up calls.”

“I guess we’re both doomed to suffer that fate.” Sheppard said with a laugh.

He hummed in agreement. “It sounded like you were having a pretty serious conversation, so I figured I’d give you some privacy while I cooked us breakfast.”

“How much of that did you hear exactly?”

“Oh, you know, just the part about your mom confessing her desire for grandkids.”

Shepard laughed. “Speaking of which… you’re still on your procreation blockers right?”

“Of course. It should be good for another couple of months. Why? Aren’t you on them too?”

“Yes. Although I wouldn’t necessarily rely on mine.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“I haven’t really told anyone this, but when I was captured at that project base in the Bahak system, they were trying to use sedatives on me to keep me under until the Reapers arrived. They were working at first, but obviously not well enough for their purposes, and I woke up well before they were expecting me to. That was only my first real inkling that something was different. A lot of pain meds haven’t been nearly as effective as they used to be. Not that I really used to drink a lot, or that it really matters, but I can’t seem to get drunk anymore. I can still get a buzz, but it always seems to wear off before it gets bad. I have a feeling that my cybernetics have an extremely efficient way of filtering stuff out. So to answer your question, yes, Chakwas gave me the standard blockers as soon as she got back on the  _ Normandy _ , but I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve warn off by now.”

“Hmm. Well, it’s easy enough for me to be on them. We can deal with that. I’m not sure how much I like the sound of all of the rest of it though. I don’t want you to have to be in pain. It’s not exactly like we have a job where you can avoid that.”

“Yeah, well at least the other advantage of the cybernetics is that I heal quickly, and more completely than I used to. So it’s not like I’m usually in pain for long. Honestly, I’m just glad that I’m alive at this point. I can deal with the side effects.”

“I guess you have a point there. It still doesn’t mean I have to like it though.”

“No, I suppose it doesn’t.” She paused for a moment as she finished making the fruit salad. “Should we have maybe talked about this before rushing into getting married?”

“About what? Kids?”

“Yeah. Is that something you want?”

“Honestly, I think it’s always been something that I’ve really wanted, it’s just that my life has never exactly been conducive with the idea of having kids before. It’s kind of funny really. It wasn’t until I met you that the thought of having children was both the farthest thing from my mind, and something that I could finally actually picture happening.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, not to say that my life wasn’t complicated before I met you, but I think it became 10 times more hectic after meeting you. I swear we’ve been in a constant state of danger literally since the day we’ve met, even during the two years you were gone. It didn’t exactly leave a lot of time to be thinking of kids, much less wanting to bring a baby into that kind of environment. But, I’ve also never loved anyone as much as you. I finally feel hopeful enough that things will work out that it’s becoming hard not to picture a future with you, and that includes having a family.”

“Hmm. Sometimes I’m convinced we’re the same person.”

Kaidan laughed. “I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” he said jokingly. “So does that mean it’s something that you want too?”

“Yes. I think it is.”

“We’ll get our chance. I have to believe that. Otherwise what’s the point in fighting.”

“Well I used to be fighting for everyone else to have that chance. I guess it means more now that I’m fighting for us to have that chance too. I just want this damn war to be over with already.”

“We’re getting close.” Kaidan noticed that her mood was taking a downturn. It was important to have these conversations, but he didn’t want the high of their shore leave to be over yet.

This was going to be their last full day here after all, and this evening was already designated for their party with the crew, so he only had a few short hours alone with her. He wanted her to enjoy them.

Shepard was somberly looking towards the window from the kitchen, clearly lost in thought. Kaidan used the opportunity to fill his hand with whipped cream, hoping that she would just assume he was covering the waffles in it. He quietly stepped towards her, out of her view. He was right behind her now, close enough to mush it all in her face. He raised his hand preparing to do so, when suddenly, she ducked and forced his hand forward, slapping himself right in the face.

Kaidan couldn’t remember the last time he heard such a genuine outright laugh come from Shepard, if he ever had. She was running towards the whipped cream canister behind them, as he slowly turned around with a shocked look on his face.

“Who the hell do you think I am, Alenko? You really thought I wasn’t going to notice that?” She was filling her hand with her own ammunition now, as Kaidan wiped his face off, saving it for retribution.

“Oh, ho, ho. You’re going to pay for that!”

“Hey! You’re the one who started it!”

They were both laughing now, as they chased each other around the island in the middle of the kitchen. Neither one of them was going to catch the other unless someone let up, so Kaidan decided to fling everything in his hand at her face. She stopped in her tracks in feigned shock, as she scoffed at him. Kaidan wasn’t quick enough as he ran towards the canister this time. Shepard caught him in his tracks, as she ran her cream filled hand down his bare chest all the way to his navel.

They both stopped now, and just looked at each other for a moment, catching their breath. Kaidan glanced down to see the damage. He slowly scraped some off of his chest, and ran it down Shepards neck, and between her cleavage, as much as her tank top would allow. Shepard grabbed him, and pulled him in closer, as he began to kiss and lick up the mess down her neck.

He picked her up, and set her down on the island countertop. He stood between her legs, resting his hands on her hips. She cupped the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair, drawing him into a tender kiss. They gently explored each others mouths, as their breathing slowly started to increase again. Kaidan started to slowly peel off Shepard’s tank top, now sticky with the whipped cream from his chest. He lifted her gently, to relieve her of her pants. She gasped as he licked up the remnants of cream between her breasts. He was less than graceful when it came to his own pants, and kicked them off in a ferver, as he recaptured her mouth, a little more desperately than before.

Shepard lifted one of her legs slightly, and rested it along Kaidan’s back, drawing him in closer. That was enough indication for him to know how ready she was, and didn’t waste time joining their bodies so entirely and completely.

Their movements started off slow and passionate, trying to take their time knowing that this would likely be their last chance to thoroughly enjoy each other before their chaotic life beckoned them back to their duties. Their attempts at drawing it out didn’t seem to be having the effects that she had wanted though, as she could already start to feel herself clenching around him. She leaned back, and grasped the raised counter top from the attached bar behind her for leverage. The change in position, allowed Kaidan to reach her innermost depths, and hit all of the right places.

Reading all of her signals, he moved to tightly grab her hips as he began to take deeper, and harder thrusts. He didn’t usually grasp her so tightly, but something about the moment was making him desperate, and wanting to feel her anyway he could. Something to confirm their existence. In the end it only hastened the situation for both of them. She could feel the tension getting closer to reaching its peak around him as his neediness only fueled their mutual lust.

She held her breath, trying to grasp onto the fleeting moment for as long as possible. It was all for naught as she could feel coil snap, reaching its precipice. She came with a gasp on her lips, and dug her feet into Kaidan’s thighs. It took little coercion for Kaidan to follow quickly after her, with her raw reaction and beauty aiding him.

Shepard sat up, so they could just hold each other for a moment as they caught their breath. As they calmed down, they both started to look at their surroundings. There was whipped cream spilled and splattered in random spots all over the kitchen.

“Jesus, we sure did a number on this place.” Shepard said, relaxing back into the counter, as Kaidan pulled away, to put his pants back on.

“Totally worth it.”

“We’re going to be finding whipped cream in crevasses for weeks.”

“Not if we put that hot tub to good use.”

“Mmm. Now you’re talkin’,” She said as she sat up again, giving him a kiss.

Kaidan handed Shepard her clothes back, so she could get dressed temporarily. “After breakfast. I am a biotic, remember.”

“Fine,” She conceded with a smile, as she also got dressed again.

They both filled their plates, Kaidan’s with about 3 times as much food as Shepard’s, and enjoyed their meal as much as they could while hurrying through it. They still had a kitchen to clean after all, and neither of them were about to waste any of the time they had left alone together.


	5. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the crew finds out about their marriage and are unhappy that they were excluded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTES: Contains part of ‘Ulysses’ by Alfred Lord Tennyson  
> Also, Jacob is not at the party, because I changed his rescue mission to come after the Citadel DLC, but other guests are there because I always thought it was a shame they didn't include more characters in the party.

Kaidan and Shepard’s morning was well worth it, but it did leave them busy with cleaning and preparing for the party all morning. They had rewarded themselves with a drawn out afternoon in the hot tub as Kaidan had promised, thoroughly cleaning any remnants of their breakfasts off of each other. And then just thoroughly enjoying each other for a while. It wasn’t until their obligations of finishing party preparations were making it absolutely necessary for them to get out of the hot tub did they realise that they had been in there far longer than what was probably healthy for anyone to be in a hot tub at that temperature. Their pruniness was utterly ridiculous, but like everything else that day, well worth it.

Shepard was very much looking forward to this last hurrah before the final push. Something to help everyone relax and recharge a little bit, and maybe even give them reminders for what their place in this war means to them. A message she knew that everyone would be relying on shortly when things will no doubt look more grim than they had ever even imagined before.

She was extremely happy that they were able to get almost all of their friends to attend the party, even most of them that weren’t currently serving on the  _ Normandy _ . She was disappointed, however, that the only person they seemingly couldn’t get in contact with was Jacob. Jane wasn’t exactly surprised with the current state of things. It was more surprising that she managed to find everyone else and that they were all within range of the Citadel to come.

She even somewhat begrudgingly invited Diana Allers, although not without having her agree to sign a non-disclosure agreement involving anything that may be said by anyone at the party. Jane was especially thankful for her forethought on that when she sent out the invites now that she had partaken in a quickie marriage in the meantime, and knowing that they would likely announce it tonight.

She liked Diana well enough, and they had even shared some good laughs at mealtimes and between her segments now and then, but she never particularly had much faith in reporters in general. Diana had surprised her on more than one occasion, admiring the way she seemed to report on her stories respectfully, and with tact. It was more than she could say for most of her past experiences, so if anyone would change her mind about reporters, it would definitely be Diana. After all was said and done, she was still a current part of her crew, and she wasn’t about to invite everyone  _ but _ her.

The party had started off casually enough as their friends slowly started showing up at whatever time worked out with their schedules. With fewer people it was easier to keep things more intimate with conversations filled with reminiscing about the old days. Tali was performing a rendition of what the  _ SR-1 _ sounded like compared to the  _ SR-2 _ for all of their friends that hadn’t had the privilege of serving on both, meanwhile the ones who had, were fighting over which one was better. Shepard couldn’t help but be impressed with how accurate Tali was, but also felt compelled to throw in her opinion on which  _ Normandy _ was better.

“The  _ SR-2 _ is definitely better,” she cut in.

Almost everyone from the  _ SR-1 _ let out an audible gasp.

“How could you say that, Shepard,” Tali proclaimed.

“It’s an easy choice for me really. Despite the unfortunate fact that Cerberus had the privilege of rebuilding it, no offense, Miranda--.”

“I’m not Cerberus anymore, Shepard, so thanks to you and our eye opening experiences, none taken.”

Shepard chuckled before continuing. “Well see, that’s even part of my point. Though our team may have been divided back then, and we’ve gone through a lot of awful things to get here, ultimately it’s the _ SR-2 _ that’s also brought us all together. Without the  _ SR-1’s  _ destruction, and the line of events that have happened since, we probably wouldn’t be where we are now. For all we know the Reapers may have already won. And despite all that, we never would have met everyone. I think it goes without saying that I consider you all to be a part of my family now, and that means everything to me. The  _ SR-2 _ is home.”

“Pssshht,” Tali blathered out. She was clearly getting a little bit drunk. “You’re just thinking of the emotional attachment to the _ Normandy _ . Come on Garrus, you have to back me up, the drive core of the  _ SR-1  _ was groundbreaking.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know much about the drive core. Artillery is really more my speed.”

“Fine, if you’re thinking specifically regarding the tech, then my answer’s still the same. I really hate to give Cerberus credit, but they took everything that was amazing and groundbreaking about the  _ SR-1 _ and improved on it. They added so much and made it a more livable environment for longer missions. I’m sorry Tali, but there’s really no contest.” She looked over at Miranda again, “though I still have no idea what you guys were thinking putting the armory up near the Galaxy map.”

“Hey, don’t look at me! I was only responsible for  _ your _ reconstruction. I had nothing to do with the  _ Normandy’s _ .”

“I guess you’re right. Maybe I’m just being sentimental,” Tali interjected. “Plus there’s a lot more space for privacy on this  _ Normandy _ ,” she said in a drunken attempt at a sultry voice.

If Shepard didn’t know any better, she could have sworn that she saw Tali winking in Garrus’s direction from behind her helmet. Did quarians even wink? If it hadn’t been for Garrus clearing his throat awkwardly in the middle of everyone’s silence, she would have thought she was just seeing things. Everyone’s gaze moved to Garrus’s expectantly.

Instead of saying anything, Garrus just walked over to Tali, and gently took her drink away. “Okay, maybe that’s enough alcohol for now, don’t you think?”

“What? Did I say too much?”

“Well I don’t think our relationship is a secret anymore, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Who said anything about a relationship? I’m just using you for your bodeeeeee,” she said giggling, and almost tipping over.

Everyone else let out a bark of laughter at their expense.

Shepard couldn’t wipe the big stupid grin off of her face. “Well congratulations guys. Now that I think of it, you’re both actually pretty perfect for each other. Don’t worry Garrus, I don’t think she meant that last part. I’m happy for you guys.”

Garrus chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, uh, thanks Shepard.”

As the place started to fill up with more people, the tempo seemed to pick up with it. The evening was filled with laughter, and jokes, but perhaps one of the most memorable things was Shepard’s glorious display of her dancing skills. The newer people from her crew were shocked that she could be so graceful on a battlefield but fail so horribly on the dance floor. Her older crew just made sure to enjoy the experience knowing that it would be a rare one.

Kaidan was perhaps the only one who would ever find it endearing. She looked like a T-rex drowning in slow motion, how could that not be cute? It wasn’t very often that he ever got to see her just let loose like that either, so to see her having real fun, even if for just a moment was one of the best things he could ever witness.

As the party was finally starting to quiet down, Shepard yelled at everyone to come over to take a group photo before everyone left passed out. Kaidan and Shepard sat in the middle of everyone as they gathered around to fit into frame.

“Alright, ready Glyph? Everyone say,  _ Normandy _ !”

Everyone repeated the saying as Glyph took the picture.

“Okay, just one more to make sure. Everyone say, Alenko and Shepard got married!”

Mostly everyone was silent for a beat, and a few people were chuckling disbelievingly. Shepard and Kaidan just looked back at everyone to gauge their reactions. She saw a knowing grin on Miranda’s face, and wasn’t surprised to see the same look on Liara. She was convinced she’d never be able to keep anything from her anymore. Almost everyone looked happy, but no one was saying anything.

“Ha ha. That was a good one, Lola.”

Kaidan and Shepard just reached for their dog tags, and pulled them out to show their matching wedding bands.

Tali shrieked and started jumping around like an energetic puppy.

“Holy shit. You’re not kidding,” James said in shock.

Then Chakwas walked over and slapped Kaidan on the back of the head, mostly playfully but still with a bit of a kick.

“Oww, hey. Didn’t you take some kind of oath to do no harm?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t count when you’re being an idiot.”

“I’m pretty sure it still does,” Kaidan muttered while he rubbed the back of his head with a pout.

“Man, I thought you guys would be happier,” Shepard jumped in.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, Commander. I may not be able to speak for the rest of this lot, but I am exceptionally happy for you both. I just can’t believe you went and did it behind everyone’s back. Did you not just say that we were your family earlier this evening?” Karin said.

“Well… yes… I guess when you put it that way, it does sound kind of selfish doesn’t it?”

“I am the old fart of the group, maybe I’m just more traditional in that sense.”

“No, no, I was looking forward to being a bridesmaid,” Tali piped up. “I mean, I figured it would happen eventually, and I may have been reading about different marriage traditions… you know… for fun.”

_ ‘Yeah, just using Garrus for his body. Suuure,’ _ Shepard thought. She had only just learned how much of a romantic Tali was earlier in their shore leave, so she wasn’t even that surprised at her admission now.

“For the record, you all would have been my bridesmaids if I had actually had any. It’s just that, we didn’t exactly have a lot of time to plan anything. We kind of just figured if we didn’t do it now, it may never happen, so we just had a quickie, private ceremony.”

“Aww, come on guys, I think we can cut them a little slack,” Samantha said. “I think we all know more than anyone what’s on the line. I guess I don’t really blame you for not inviting us in your haste.”

“Thank you, Traynor.”

“However,” she said, drawing out the word before continuing. “I’m not letting you off the hook that easily. I think we all deserve to hear your vows at least.”

“Boy am I regretting signing that non-disclosure agreement right about now.”

Shepard narrowed her eyes in Diana’s direction. “It’s too late. You can’t go back on it. But anyway, guys, we didn’t write any vows. We just used the generic stuff, again, because we didn’t have the time to write any.”

“Then make something up on the spot. Say it from the heart. Come on, you owe us that much!”

Shepard just rubbed her forehead for a minute, obviously apprehensive about the idea. Kaidan stood in front of her, and offered her his hand to pull her in front of him.

“Come on Shepard, it might be kind of nice. A public declaration of our love? I think it would be kind of sweet. If it’ll help, I’ll go first. I admittedly kind of had something I wanted to say, and was planning to use it whenever I proposed, but you didn’t exactly give me the chance.”

Shepard was genuinely intrigued now. “Okay, fine.”

Kaidan took both of her hands in his, as they stood in front of all of their friends.

“I’d like to believe that I’m more rational than believing in love at first sight. And maybe it wasn’t exactly love, but I still remember the first time I saw you. I was enraptured by your beauty and poise. For a while I thought I was just infatuated with your record. That you were just an exemplary woman that would be hard not to have a crush on. But it didn’t take a long time serving under you to realise that it wasn’t just some fleeting inappropriate feelings for my commanding officer. The way you always listened to me whenever I needed someone, and always tried to sympathise rather than judge, showed me what kind of a person you truly were. I began feeling lucky to even know you, much less for you to have chosen me to be spending your time with.”

“My dad always used to say,  _ ‘Don’t marry someone you can live with; marry someone you can’t live without.’ _ I think it was sometime shortly after Noveria, during one of our talks, that I started to associate that saying with you. Unfortunately, I have first hand experience of not being able to live without you. It was the hardest two years I’ve ever had to endure. I know that experience ended badly for both of us, in no small part due to me. I was extremely lost during that period of my life, and seeing you again was confusing to say the least. Though I’m saddened that we had to go through that period of our lives apart, I’m glad for it now. In the end, we’ve made it through to the other side, being all that much stronger for it. Now I look to the future and can’t even fathom anything coming close to keeping us apart.”

“Jane, you are the love of my life. You are the person I can’t live without. I promise to be your safe place, as you have always been to me. I promise to always be your second in command, because I know better than to think there’s any competing with the orders of Commander Shepard,” he said with a smile, as Jane laughed for a moment, wiping a tear out from the corner of her eye before replacing her hand in his. “I promise to be your best friend, and be at your side through all that life has to offer us. We’ll suffer together through all of the bad, and rejoice through all of the good, because we are each other’s support structure and I can’t imagine sharing in life’s tribulations or good fortune’s with anyone else but you. I love you, Jane.”

“Wait a minute,” Joker said, abruptly. “How the hell did I not know your first name was Jane? Did any of you guys know her name was Jane? How did I not even realise that I never knew her first name?!”

“Oh my god! Joker, will you shut up!” Tali burst out through tears.

Shepard burst out laughing, thankful for the brief lightheartedness to calm her down before her turn.

“Suddenly I don’t know if I like the idea of you going first. How am I supposed to follow that?”

“Too late. I said my piece. It’s your turn now,” Kaidan said almost teasingly.

Shepard let out a long sigh before starting her turn. “I can’t really even believe it, but for once, I seem to find myself a bit speechless. I guess I’ll start with a poem that Ashley and I both admired and bonded over. It’s something that truthfully reminds me of the entire crew lately, but it’s also a poem that makes me think of us specifically a lot more recently too.”

_ “Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’  _ __  
_ We are not now that strength which in old days  _ __  
_ Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;  _ __  
_ One equal temper of heroic hearts,  _ __  
_ Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will  _ _  
_ __ To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

“We’ve been through a lot together ever since the day we first met. I think we’ve had more than our fair share of awful things thrown at us, and a lot has been taken out of us. You’re right though. I’m glad for every step of our adventure together, because though it’s made our hearts weak by time and fate, it has made us strong in will. Our journey has always been, and will always be one to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. I can’t imagine a better partner to be sharing this insanely crazy and difficult life with. You’re the light that keeps me going, the voice of reason to calm my nerves, and the warm embrace to call home at the end of the day.”

“I promise to always love you for what you are. I promise to be your best friend, mentor, student, playmate, and confidant in all that life has to offer us.”

“I love you, Kaidan Alenko. I love everything about you, and I love you for what I am when I’m with you. I’ve never exactly felt weak, but when I’m with you I feel like I’m ten times stronger than I am without you. I love you for always seeing the best in me, even when I can’t see it myself. I love you because you have helped me to make my life a beautiful life worth living, even in the darkest of times.”

When Kaidan saw her face light up into a smile after that, signalling that her speech was done, he gently grabbed her head behind her neck and pulled her into a deep kiss.

Their small crowd of friends all cheered and clapped through sniffles. As they stopped to look out at their friends, they saw most of them wiping at tears. Garrus was hugging Tali and resting the side of his head on top of hers. She even noticed Gabby and Ken comforting each other. She had walked in on them having an argument about now not being a good time to be admitting feelings for each other. She simply suggested that no one knew how much time anyone had left, and now was not the time to be waiting around, before awkwardly backing out of the conversation and letting them work it out for themselves. She was glad to see that her advice had been heeded.

“Well guys, you’re definitely forgiven in my books,” James said, before walking over to give them both a hug.

“Mine too. I’m sorry for hitting you, Kaidan. It’s good to see that the Commander has gotten a good man who will right his wrongs at least,” Chakwas apologised.

“See, this is why the Reapers are going to lose! They have nothing to motivate them like this!” Samantha yelled, while also walking over to congratulate them.

Jack walked over to Shepard and punched her in the shoulder.

“Jesus, Jack. What the hell was that for? Was that not enough for you?”

“No, it was fine. That was because you’re getting too damn soft on me!” Jack was grabbing her by the upper arms now and shaking her slightly. “This is not the time to be going soft on me! We need our badass Commander, primed and ready to fight, so that was just to get you riled up for when you get right back into it tomorrow. It may have also been a little bit for making me cry, you bitch.”

Shepard chuckled before pulling Jack into a hug. “I love you, Jack.”

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too,” she mumbled so she could deny any such declarations should anyone question her.

Jack turned to Kaidan, “You better not ever fucking hurt her, or I swear to god.” She said as she pointed her finger threateningly at the Major.

“Don’t worry, I don’t ever intend to,” he said putting his hands up showing his innocence.

“Good. Just so you know where we stand,” she said while somewhat reluctantly giving him a half sideways hug. “Congrats, I guess.”

Liara came to give Shepard a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. “Congratulations, Shepard. I may have already known about your nuptials, but I have to say, I was rather looking forward to also being a bridesmaid,” she said with a teasing smile.

“Don’t tell anyone, but you would have been my maid of honour,” Shepard whispered. “Sorry we didn’t include you. I had a feeling you already knew though.”

“Yes, well I’m good at my job. But, don’t you worry about it Shepard. I am so happy for the both of you. I may have had a wedding gift sent up to your cabin already.”

“Oooh, really? Do tell.”

“What, and give away the surprise?”

“Come on, you can let me in on one of your secrets just this once can’t you?”

Liara smiled, “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Please tell me.”

“It was that elcor mating totem that glyph found while we were in the archives,” Liara said with a giggle.

“HA. You can’t be serious!” Shepard said, as she burst out laughing. “Well, not to offend you but I’ll be throwing it straight out the airlock.”

Liara scoffed in mock offense. “How could you? I put a lot of thought into that.”

“I don’t exactly put much stock in things like that, but now is certainly not the time for babies. I don’t need anything jinxing that, thank you very much.”

Liara laughed. “Well, it was mostly a joke gift, though admittedly I wouldn’t mind seeing a little baby to coo over.”

“Well I can give it back to you, if you’d prefer.”

“Ha, I’m likely still two centuries away from my matron stage, Shepard. I’m afraid it would just go to waste on me. However, it would be a shame to lose such an artifact. If you truly do not want it, I will gladly take it back.”

“Sure thing, Liara. Thanks for the thought though. That was a good one.”

“I thought so.”

Shepard couldn’t help but think back to the times on the SR-1 when she had first met Liara. She was so innocent, and academic almost to a fault. They were things that Shepard had admired about Liara, but feared that she would never be able to relax with her pent up disposition. Back then she could never tell when Shepard was making a joke. Liara had come a long way from those times. She was no longer innocent and timid asari that she had come to know, which saddened Shepard to some degree. Only because it showed what kind of hardships they had all had to endure to warrant such a change, but she was glad to see that Liara had gained her own sense of humor somewhere along the way.

As everyone was starting to disperse, Shepard stood on the coffee table. “Hey!” She yelled to get everyone’s attention. “You’ve all been drinking tonight, so before anyone takes off, feel free to stay here. We’ve got plenty of room with the guest bedrooms, and extra couches to fit most everyone. If you really want to leave, I’ll pay for a skycar to take you to wherever you’re staying. I don’t want to hear about any of you driving out of here on your own.”

“That being said, thank you for coming, everyone. It was a wonderful night, that I am so thankful that I could share with all of you! Everyone from the  _ Normandy _ crew, I’ll be lenient, but I still expect you to report back to the ship at 1100 hours at the latest, so keep that in mind.”

“I call whatever’s farthest away from the newlywed’s room,” yelled jack. “I wouldn’t want to touch that with a ten foot pole.”

Shepard just shook her head while Kaidan let out a snort as everyone started to disperse into smaller groups or to get comfortable to settle in for the night.

A ping suddenly came from the office, as Glyph announced an urgent call for Commander Shepard.

As Jane and Kaidan walked towards the terminal, they could hear Joker yelling in the background.

“Oh come on, I’ve been with her longer than any of you except Chakwas! Are you seriously telling me that I was the only one that didn’t know her first name was Jane?! You can’t be serious!”

They laughed to each other, as they reached the terminal.

“Hello, this is Commander Shepard,” she said before the video link cleared up.

“Hi sweetie.”

“Mom?”

“Hi. Yes, it’s me.”

“Is everything okay? We already talked this morning.”

“Yes, everything’s fine,” she said as the video chat finally linked. “Oh good, Kaidan’s there too, I was hoping to catch the both of you.”

“Hello, Ma’am.”

“It’s Hannah, or mom to you now, Kaidan,” she said, which earned a kind smile and nod from Kaidan.

“What is it, mom?”

“Yes, well sorry to disturb you. I know you’re shipping out again tomorrow, but it is important and I was hoping to catch you before you left. I managed to secure somewhat of a wedding present for you, although I suppose it’s really more of a present for Kaidan. I managed to locate your mother. With her previous history in the medical field, I was able to get her a special evacuation order to join the crucible project with me working in our health department. She’s on a shuttle as we speak, and should be joining me around the time you ship out.”

Kaidan had a look of shock and thankfulness that was hard to hide. He never would have expected anything like that, but he was grateful.

“Thank you so much, Hannah. You can’t imagine how much this means to me. I’ve been so worried about her.”

“I think I may know something about what that’s like. You’re welcome, Kaidan. I look forward to meeting her.”

“Thanks mom. It may be Kaidan’s mom, but that was probably the best gift you could have ever given either of us.”

“Congratulations to you both. Now go enjoy the last night of your shore leave. It won’t be long now, honey. We’ll be seeing each other again soon. I promise.”

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, Jane.”


	6. In Between CH 2: Dear Jacob

They hadn’t even been back on the _Normandy_ for half an hour before receiving a distress signal. That was just a testament to the current state of the galaxy. There was no way they’d ever be able to get to them all, but something about this one was different. A facility on Gellix filled with ex-Cerberus scientists was under attack by their ex namesake.

Shepard immediately got Joker to change course when she heard their message. This was a cause that Jane was particularly sympathetic towards. She didn’t really consider herself to be a defector of Cerberus, only because she never truly considered herself to be one of them in the first place. They were simply a means to an end at the time, as they were the only organization willing to even seriously look into the Collectors or the Reapers. There was never any question that as soon as her job was done, she was going back to the Alliance, no matter what the cost was.

Shepard may not have been in the same situation as these people, because she was somewhat untouchable thanks to her protection from the Alliance and her unique qualifications for defending herself, but she still understood what it meant to leave Cerberus. They were known for eradicating their problems and loose ends. These people all knew the risks, but they left anyway because they had finally seen Cerberus for what they really were. That in itself was a worthy enough cause for Shepard to take on this specific distress call, but more importantly was the fact that these scientists could be extremely beneficial to the Crucible project.

As her team arrived at the base, they were met with an assault on the front door by a large group of Cerberus soldiers. They made quick work of the enemy forces, and rushed to the door. They found that all of the defending scientists were dead. She was almost dumbstruck to find an old friend wounded behind a crate, but still alive.

“Jacob! What the hell are you doing here?”

“Shepard? Holy shit. I didn’t think they’d send the cavalry just for us,” he hissed out as he checked the bullet hole in his gut.

“Yeah, well now I’m glad it was us,” she said, while trying to delicately help him up.

Then they heard a radio burst to life. “Jacob? Jacob, are you there? What’s going on?”

Shepard answered, “This is Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy. We heard your distress signal, and have come to evacuate you.”

“Is Jacob there? Is he okay?”

“It’s okay, Brynn. Let them in.”

As they were let into the facility, Jacob was brought directly to the med bay. Shepard had a small chat with Brynn to find out what was going on. The scientists were trying to figure out a plan of action, while saving all of their data before Cerberus could get their hands on it,, which gave Shepard a moment to catch up with Jacob.

“Hey. You okay? How’ve you been?”

“This is crazy. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” said Jacob.

“I know the feeling. So how’d you become a gun for hire?”

“Long story. It was an opportunity I couldn’t resist for people I came to care about.”

“You seem good. I’m honestly just glad that you got away from Cerberus.”

“Yeah, well things look different when you come back from a suicide mission alive. So I quit Cerberus. I quit everything. I decided that what I choose to fight for better mean something to me. I mean… was I blind? I remember the illusive man being an idealist, but how could I not see the evil?”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it. As long as you saw what he really was in the end, that’s all that matters.”

“Yeah, and that’s what everyone here saw too. These are great people. Defending their ideals. I like it. I think I found what I’m meant to do.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you’ve found a purpose in this whole mess,” she paused for a moment, seeming to have picked up on something earlier. “How long have you known Brynn?”

“We met through a mutual friend in the Mumbai cell. Guess I’ve known her for a year. We had a lot in common. Then she came to me about her missing colleagues. Asked for my protection, my help finding a place to run to. How could I say no.”

“Who is she to you?”

“We’re together.”

“And you run this enclave with her? You settling down Jacob?” she said teasingly, but genuinely interested.

“Yeah. Maybe. It’s just um… if these are our final days, I want to spend them protecting these people. Building a life. Whatever’s left of it.”

“We could sure use you on the _Normandy_.”

“It’s real tempting, Shepard, but I like where I’m at. I’m important to these people. I want a life. I want a family.”

“Sure. I get that.”

“No Shepard. The _Normandy_ is your real love,” he countered indignantly.

 _‘Okaaaay??? Where on earth did that come from?’_ she thought to herself. That definitely rubbed her the wrong way, especially with his suddenly self righteous attitude. She figured he’d just been shot, and he’s allowed to be a bit testy at the moment, so she kept her cool, hoping that he’d just had some weird bad reaction.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to say, to hell with it sometimes though, Jacob.”

“But you won’t. You can’t.”

She paused for a moment, looking at him wide eyed. That was enough to send her over the edge.

“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean, Jacob? Of course I fucking can’t!” The tone in her voice had definitely risen now. She didn’t often lose her cool with anyone, especially in situations like these when there was a mission to do. But she had _thought_ that Jacob was her friend. A real friend would have known her better than that.

He only offered his slightly surprised face at her response.

Jacob had always seemed to keep her at arms length despite her efforts at building a friendship with him during their Collector mission. She still thought he knew her better than this. She was tired of people having all the wrong ideas about her, and for someone that she had spent time serving with to not even know her at all had finally pushed her over the edge. It didn’t matter that Jacob seemed to have quieted from her previous response. She was in an all out rant mode now.

“I know you were essentially only the Lazarus Project’s guard dog, but for your whole mission to be centered around bringing me back from the dead, you sure know nothing about me! Not to mention all that time we worked together on the _Normandy_.”

She just shook her head as she tried to calm herself down. It wasn’t working.

“You know… I knew that you always tried to keep me at a distance. I always tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I swear your ego must have made you think that all of my attempts at developing a relationship with you were actually flirtatious ploys to get you into bed or something. All you would ever say to me was, “already? I’m not big on forcing these talks, Shepard,” and “If we live, we’ll get loud. Spill some drinks on the Citadel.” Come to think of it, the only time you ever said anything meaningful was when you wanted something from me.”

Jacob finally cut in. “I’m sorry, Shepard. Honestly it’s more that I didn’t think it was right to have such a casual relationship with my Commanding Officer.”

“Yeah, well, that’s kind of how I work. One of the reasons Cerberus brought me back even. It’s how I build trust,” she huffed out an exasperated sigh before continuing. “You might be right about one thing. It would be hard for me to give up the _Normandy_ , and impossible for me to step out of this war, but did you ever stop to consider why? It’s not because of the state of the art tech, or stealth system. Aside from my mother and some of our friends, my entire family is on that ship! Every single person on the _Normandy_ is a reason why I keep getting up in the morning. We feed each other’s strength and resolve.”

“I don’t wake up for the adrenaline rush, or with glorified thoughts of killing things. I wake up wanting to make this galaxy something better for the people I care about. You may think I’m _just_ a soldier, but believe it or not, there’s a person underneath all that too.”

“And forgive my lack of modesty, but you better be fucking glad that I take my sense of duty seriously enough to try to win this war. Because without that, no one’s going to be building lives or starting families.”

“At the end of the day, we’re really not all that different, Jacob. You just said it yourself. That what you choose to fight for better mean something to you. What exactly is it that you think I’m fighting for?”

He just looked at her slightly stunned. “Honestly, I guess I’m not really sure anymore,” he said dejectedly.

Shepard pulled out her dog tags from under her armor, and threw them at him. He held them in his hand, studying the contents, surprised to find the rings that joined the tags.

“I’m married, Jacob.”

“That’s a surprise. I didn’t even know you had someone.”

“Yeah, well how could you?” she asked rhetorically.

He just sighed, rubbing his thumb over the rings.

“I think you at least know about Kaidan.”

“Yeah, I guess I just figured you two were done with each other after the whole Cerberus thing.”

“Well, if you were anyone else on that ship during our mission, you would have known how much I still cared about him. We reconnected after Earth was attacked, and we realised that neither of us had moved on. We worked out our issues, and decided not to waste anymore time, so we got married. He’s what I’m fighting for. For a life outside of this hell.”

“I’m sorry, Shepard.”

“Just don’t pretend to know someone when you clearly don’t.”

He didn’t really have anything to say to that, so he just handed back her dog tags.

“I should focus on getting these people out of here. I’ve wasted enough time as it is.”

The rest of the mission went off smoothly, except for a minor hiccup right at the very end when the blast from an Atlas mech knocked Shepard over, leaving her struggling to get to the shuttle. Having only just met her, Shepard was surprised by the fact that it was Brynn running to help her up, and back onto the Kodiak. With the amount of Cerberus soldiers running after them, it was miraculous that they had managed to leave the base without any other casualties.

On the shuttle ride back to the Alliance rescue ship they had hailed, she had still offered Jacob a spot on the _Normandy_ even with their earlier spat. At the end of the day, Jacob was still a talented soldier and biotic and would have been an asset to their team. Even if their earlier fight had been eye opening to how little he truly knew about her, she still liked to consider him a friend. She wasn’t all that surprised when he rejected the offer to continue protecting the scientists. She was happy that he had found a place where he felt like he belonged, and she knew that he would do good by them.

When it was time to part ways once again, she gave him a hug, and wished him good luck in whatever adversity they might face. Hopefully it wouldn’t be much. The crucible was probably the most protected and well hidden area of space right now, but in times like these, there was no way to be certain of anything.

She hadn’t had much time to talk to Brynn, but from how much she did talk, she seemed really nice, and liked her well enough. Shepard had joked that she thought Brynn was good for Jacob, though she wasn’t so sure about the other way around, and had no idea what Brynn was doing with him.

Two weeks later she was surprised to have heard from Jacob again so soon. He was back on the Citadel picking up supplies, hoping to cross paths one more time. Luckily there was always a need for ensuring the _Normandy_ was fully stocked, and no shortage of people needing something from her on the Citadel anyway.

Huerta was possibly the last place she expected to find him, but it was where she eventually bumped in to him.

The conversation started almost as though nothing had happened between them. Which she was fine with. People make mistakes, or more like errors in judgement in Jacob’s case. He seemed to have put a lot of thought into how his words had affected her on Gellix, at the end of their conversation. That was enough for her. She was just glad to have moved past it at this point.

“Hey, Shepard. I’m glad to see you. I know things are crazy right now.”

“Exactly. So you have to take the moments when you can. So, what’s going on with the Crucible?”

“That project is crazy. Freaking huge. And all these brilliant minds are working night and day trying to figure it out. I wish you could see them, heads down, piecing it together. It’s something to see. We’ll get this Crucible built, Shepard --and then we’ll win this thing. I feel it. Do you feel it?”

“Yeah, sure. I feel it. And I’m counting on you and everyone there. Get it done.”

“Believe it.”

“So what's going on with you? You still like what you’re doing?” Jane asked.

“I’m good.”

“Still not tempted to come back to the _Normandy_?”

“Always tempted, Shepard… but no.”

“So, you workin’ on the Crucible?”

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m smart… but not that smart. Hackett keeps me busy though.”

“How’s he doing?”

“Holding up. If they make old guys any tougher than that, I’d like to see it.”

Shepard just nodded her head. Of course Hackett was tough. A force to be reckoned with, but she couldn’t help but wonder that if he was anything like her, maybe he was just good at hiding his weaknesses. Some people didn’t have the luxury of showing their fragility. She guessed that in itself was even more a testament of strength, so maybe Jacob was right in his original statement, however not as simply as he made it out to be.

“Is it just Hackett ordering you around, or have you had the privilege of meeting Rear Admiral Shepard? She runs a tight ship. She’s in charge of logistics over there.”

“Heh. Yeah, she sure does. She doesn’t take shit for anything.”

“Did you really expect anything less?”

“I really shouldn’t have. She’s determined as hell though, I’ll tell you that much. She’s working harder than the scientists making sure everyone has what they need. It can’t be an easy job.”

“Huh, one of the last conversation I had with her implied that she had it easy. I was almost worried she was starting to fizzle out. She said that she didn’t have to report in for anything until 0700 one morning.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about her fizzling out. She had probably just left out the fact that she had likely only gone to sleep at 0300.”

“Don’t say that. Now you’re only making me worried for other reasons.”

“True enough. I just meant we’re all doing our part. Your mother is no exception. The apple really didn’t fall far from the tree with that one, did it?”

“Ha. I guess not. Hey, would you do me a favour? The next time you see her, would you tell her I love her? I mean, I know she knows, but it’s not like we get any real chance to talk these days. I’m sure just hearing that someone’s been in touch with me might be reassuring to her.”

“Of course, Shepard. It’s not a problem.”

“Thanks. So, it was interesting to meet Brynn. How is she?”

“She’s great actually. It’s good to see her work without the distraction of having to worry about the colony.”

“And you and her?”

“We’re uh… we’re having a baby, Shepard.”

Shepard punched him in the shoulder, and not in the fun congratulatory way that people do sometimes. “Wow, what the fuck, Jacob!”

“Oww, what the hell was that for?”

“Are you telling me that you, a soldier, let your pregnant girlfriend without protective gear, run into active fire to save me right before we took off?”

“Oh, yeah… that. We didn’t know that she was pregnant yet. I swear.”

Shepard shook her head, and smirked. “Well in that case, wow. Congratulations.”

“Wasn’t exactly planned, but… I’m looking forward to it. I’m going to be a better father than mine was. Do the whole thing right. It’s, uh… huh…”

“One more thing to fight for,” she said while giving him a hug.

“You got that right. Brynn wants to name it after you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Shepard,” he said, not even trying to maintain his laugh.

“That’s… nice.”

“Yeah. I’m going to talk her out of it. No offense.”

“Heh. None taken,” she said. She meant it too. She wasn’t sure how she felt about an innocent kid being saddled with her name. She had a hard enough time trying to live up to it herself.

“Good.”

“I’m glad we had time to talk, Jacob.”

“Me too. You gotta take the moments when you can. So true. And Shepard, thanks again for getting my people out alive. And uh, I’ve been meaning to apologise. I’m really sorry for what I said about you back on Gellix. I guess after seeing you in action back in the Collector days, it was kind of hard to see just how much you were actually sacrificing to do it all.”

“Thanks. That means a lot. But don’t worry about it. We’re good,” she said as she brought up her omni-tool to see the time. “I’ve got to be heading out again though. Take care, Jacob.”

“You too, Shepard. I’m thinking about you out there. Stay safe.”


	7. Earth

It had only been one short month since the party on the Citadel. Somehow it seemed like a lifetime ago. They were finally on their way back to Earth. Shepard had been extremely busy, and hadn’t even left her cabin for the last five hours, just going over reports and checking on assets, trying to figure out what resources she’d have at her fingertips when they landed. What forces she could rely on in their final push, trying to see any new advantage. Any last shred of hope to increase their chances.

She was about to walk down to the mess to grab a cup of coffee, (or maybe a pot) datapad still in hand. As the doors opened, she bumped into Kaidan coming up to their cabin with an offering of whiskey.

“Heh. Can’t sleep either?”

“No,” she said somewhat shortly.

“Making yourself crazy with this won’t help.”

“Kaidan, I need to--”

“Just take five minutes. A quick drink. Then I’ll let you get back to work.”

She rolled her eyes, and huffed out a sigh, but nodded for him to pour themselves a drink.

“Shepard, you know that you’ve done everything you could, right?”

“I hope so. I keep running the numbers to see if I’ve missed something.”

“You don’t have to take this all on yourself. Look to your crew. To the talented people fighting by your side,” he said as Shepard took the bottle from him and they moved over to the couch to get more comfortable. “What you’ve accomplished since the Reapers arrived is… it’s nothing short of amazing.” Kaidan put his glass down, and paused for a moment before deciding on exactly what it was he wanted to say. “It’s-- It’s going to be… It’s going to be what it is,” he said, somewhat resigned.

She could tell he was trying, but if he was really here to get her to relax, she wanted to change the subject. “What are you thinking about right now?”

“The good times, and the… the hard times. It’s been an unforgettable few years,” he smiled, remembering their time together fondly despite all the bad things that were littered throughout.

“I’ll never forget that first night we bunked together,” she said waggling her eyebrows a bit.

Kaidan laughed. “Yeah, of course not. I mean, I was… pretty spectacular if I remember right.”

“Mmhmm,” she replied with a smirk. She half wanted to smack him for his lack of humility, but truthfully she couldn’t disagree with him. “So tell me, how is this kind of distraction supposed to win us the war?”

“I’m not a distraction. I’m here to help you relax. Relaxing will help you focus,” he said, pulling her in for an ardent kiss. “I lied. I didn’t come here for a quick drink.”

Shepard moved to straddle his hips. “You mean everything to me Kaidan. I love you,” she said while caressing his face.

“I’ve always loved you. Through all these years, through… through everything. I’m the luckiest man alive.”

She bent down to steal a deep kiss before trying to pull back and go back to work.

“Hey-hey-hey! Where are you going?”

“Alright, Kaidan.” She hadn’t needed much persuading. If it wasn’t for them being right at the end, and her wanting to be as prepared as possible, they would have already been sharing their bed hours ago.

She bent down to resume her kiss, a little more desperately than before, forcing his mouth open slowly with her tongue. They had done this many times before, but now, she was taking her time. Committing everything to memory. The lingering smell of whiskey, and aftershave. The sweet taste on his tongue that was entirely Kaidan. The feel of his heart under her hand beating steadily with anticipation. Memories to cling to should things go bad.

Kaidan stood up, and carried her over to the bed, never breaking contact. He kicked his boots off before setting her down gently on the edge of the bed. He kneeled down on top of her, kissing her the entire way up to the pillows. He rested himself beside her, taking his time to savor everything about his wife that he could. He buried his head in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent of cocoa butter as she kissed the side of his head, while running her fingers through his thick hair. His hands gently caressing her sides, up her shirt, revelling in the warmth that she held. He thought back to Jane's vows at their party. _‘A warm embrace to call home at the end of the day.’_ Home is what she was to him too. His anchor to keep him grounded in this nightmare. This nightmare that would all be over soon one way or another.

That last thought fueled him forward. He needed her to take the nightmare away, even if only for the moment. And if he needed it that badly, he could only imagine how much she needed it too. She was the one with all of the responsibility on her shoulders.

With one last intake of her scent, he started to kiss up her neck slowly, pausing to gaze into her eyes, attempting to mirror their intensity, and admiring every unique pigment. Eventually he ending up back at her lips as they slowly started to remove each others clothing, making sure to take their time, feeling the firm weight of muscles and soft tender flesh as they went, appreciating every unique feature.

Shepard couldn’t help but notice that this wasn’t quite like it was before Ilos. Back then it was all about finding comfort in someone. Finding strength and a reason to fight. Rejuvenating yourself to help you through that final push. Those things were all there now too, but all with an underlying feeling that she was saying goodbye.

She tried her best to push those feelings aside, and enjoy the moment. It was more difficult than she would have liked, but they still managed to find release with each other. It was enough to lessen the burden of what they were about to do, even if it was only temporary.

She was thankful for his warm embrace, easing her into sleep. She knew she would probably appreciate the rest come tomorrow. Though her sleep was more fitful than she would have hoped for.

She woke up from her nightmare with Kaidan’s arms securely around her. It was the same one she’d been having ever since she had left Earth. Chasing after the boy she had lost in the vent back in Vancouver, surrounded by the voices, and ghosts of the dead. Everyone she couldn’t save. The dreams always ended by showing the boy being just outside of her reach, as he was surrounded by flames, succumbing to the same fate as so many other people she was responsible for. This one was different however, as she saw herself in the flames with the boy this time.

Jane just laid protected next to Kaidan while she contemplated it all. The odds were stacked so high against them that she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to feign her optimism much longer. Luckily it seemed like she wouldn’t have to. But that dream was enough for her to break a little inside.

That one short month ago, when she was promising to be Kaidan’s partner in life, she had felt so energized. This one person was enough to give her the confidence and strength that she needed to see that this war wouldn’t end with their extinction. But somewhere in these last few hours, while things were looking so bleak, she couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with this sense of dread, knowing too well what she could lose. Or worse, that she would likely be leaving him behind again. It was easier to be the one dying, knowing that you wouldn’t be the one having to live with the pain, but it was harder knowing that if history were to repeat itself, she would be the source of his anguish yet again if her dream turned out to be some sort of prophecy.

She sat up in the bed, and put her head in her hands, while letting out a dejected sigh.

Kaidan must have woken up from the loss of contact. “What’s up?” he said tiredly and confused.

“Are we going to make it, Kaidan?” she asked. She already felt like she knew the answer, but hoped that he might have some words to encourage her.

That was enough to wake Kaidan up fully. With a look of concern, he moved over to put a reassuring hand on his wife’s back. “We’re ready. You’ve put the people together, the vision-- and what you’ve done, Shepard, is build hope.” He said that with such sincerity in his eyes, that she knew he believed it. If anything that made her more scared in the moment. He was putting that much faith in her, when she couldn’t even believe it herself.

“I’m glad I inspire that in you, but sometimes…,” she had started down a line of thought that she didn’t want to go down. She felt like she desperately needed to be reassured too, but she didn’t want her newfound line of thinking to be infectious either. Kaidan would perform better thinking that her head was in the right place, even if it wasn’t. “You’re right. Give us hope, and a fighting chance. Hell, the Reapers better watch themselves,” she said while giving him a chaste kiss and running her hand down his chest, before leaving the bed.

She swore she could already see it in his eyes. The way he watched her as she got up to leave. She knew that he didn’t believe her. Neither of them were going to say anything about it now. They both felt like they knew what was coming, and neither of them wanted to say goodbye.

\---

Only a few short hours later, they had finally made it back to Earth. She found Kaidan close to the QEC building, and was reluctant to start having a conversation, not wanting to break down right now, but she would never let the opportunity pass without talking to him.

“Hey, Kaidan.”

“Hey, there you are.”

“You ready?” she asked. Her voice clearly on the verge of breaking.

“Absolutely. For anything. Bring it on.”

“And biotics division? Your students?”

“More than ready. Eager. That’s youth for you. Guess we’re old soldiers, eh Shepard?”

“Yeah. I guess we are.”

“Comrades in arms. We know the score,” he said, suddenly acknowledging his feelings form earlier. “We know this is goodbye.”

No. He wasn’t allowed to think that way, even if she knew what he said to be true.

“When this is over, I’m going to be waiting for you. You’d better show up,” she said.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m going to fight like hell for the chance to hold you again. But listen, there’s… things I want to say. Looking back... I have a few regrets, but not many. That’s pretty damn amazing, right? Messed up kid that I was. Never would have dreamed of the life I’ve had. And I owe a lot of that to you, you know.”

“It’s been quite a ride.”

“It sure has. But how are you doing? Scared?”

“Damn straight, I’m scared. But that fear is going to keep me alive long enough to strike these bastards right through the heart.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“So… take care, Major,” she said trying to walk away. Hoping that staying professional right now would help her keep her resolve. But Kaidan had other ideas. As she tried to walk past him before she could start to cry, he moved in front of her, and grabbed her arms lightly, bringing her into a kiss.

“I can’t lose you again,” he said, with a couple of tears streaking down his face.

Shepard just backed away slowly, regretting already having made a promise she likely couldn’t keep.

Kaidan understood. He had meant it. They really did know the score. “Well, I should find the rest of my squad.”

“Yeah,” she whispered as she finally walked past him, taking her hand from his grasp, hoping beyond all hope that this wouldn’t be the last time that they would be together.

It’s almost like she had been on autopilot, only functioning out of sheer necessity to move forward, and to achieve her goal. They had fought through an entire onslaught of Reaper forces by themselves as their reinforcements were dying all around them.

Being a soldier was something so ingrained in her, that this sort of thing had happened before, this sense of mindlessness in the battlefield, pure instinct taking over, but never during anything so vital, at least not to this extent. She couldn’t explain it. Her job always had risks, and she was never one to feel immortal, always knowing that death could be around any corner, but she had never _known_ her mortality to be so imminent as it felt in this moment.

She had chosen Kaidan to come with her on their final push. She had hoped that they would work harder together, seeing each other and knowing what was on the line was right there beside you. In some ways her plan had worked, but in others, she was just looking towards the embodiment of her fears. Her whole future was running towards a force so destructive, that literally no one had ever lived to tell the tale. She had obviously hoped that they would be the exception.

That is until she was afraid the worst had happened. A Mako had flipped over and exploded right next to Kaidan. She was flooded with relief when she saw that he was still alive, though he was severely wounded. She rushed to his side and sat him down under cover, before calling the _Normandy_ in for an emergency evacuation.

As the _Normandy_ landed, she helped get Kaidan to his feet, and ran him up the ramp. She handed him off towards Liara who was with them, but luckily only minorly injured.

“Here, take him.”

“Shepard!” Kaidan cried out.

“You’ve got to get out of here.”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.”

“Don’t argue with me, Kaidan.”

“Don’t leave me behind.” Of course he meant it literally. He didn’t want to be forced back onto the _Normandy_ without her, but he already knew without a doubt that that was exactly what was happening, so he also meant it figuratively. He would say anything to get her to fight for him. Fight for them.

“No matter what happens… know that I love you. Always,” she said while caressing his face, knowing that it was the only comfort she could offer. She wouldn’t lie this time about promises she might not be able to keep.

He leaned into her touch. “I love you too. Be careful.”

With one last look behind her, she yelled for them to go. Kaidan struggled to watch as the best thing that had ever happened to him was running straight into hell without him by their side.

She watched as the _Normandy_ retreated from Earth, leaving her with newfound invigoration. At least now she knew he would be safe.

That was her last thought as she ran right into a Reaper beam.

\---

She didn’t know how long it had been when she had finally woken up. Truthfully she was just glad she had woken up at all. She could have done without the pain of her armor melted to her flesh, and the gaping wound in her abdomen. But it didn’t matter now. She had sent Kaidan away, and it would all be for nothing if someone didn’t get this job done. She could see that the arms of the Citadel were still closed. It was up to her. That was enough to get her up and moving, albeit much more slowly than before.

Of course nothing could ever be easy though. After struggling up the beam to the Citadel, and gladly finding Anderson had made it as well, her relief was quickly stolen away by an indoctrinated Illusive man making her shoot her mentor and dear friend. How he could have ever thought that forcing her to shoot David would ever be a good way to see his side of things was entirely beyond her. In the end, the Illusive man listened to reason for once, and in a small moment of clarity he took his own life, just as Saren had. Too bad her powers of persuasion weren’t enough to talk some sense into the Reapers themselves.

Everything was too little too late, however. After Shepard had finished opening the arms of the citadel, she looked back to see that Anderson didn’t have much left in him. He had propped himself up into a sitting position, looking out over Earth, and the fight to retake it. She slowly made her way back to sit beside her dying friend.

“Commander.”

“We did it.”

“Yes. We did. It’s uh… quite a view.” He was clearly struggling to talk.

“Heh. Best seats in the house.” She figured she wasn’t all that much better than her friend as she realised she was also struggling to talk through the pain. But if this was their final moments, she didn’t want to leave anything unsaid or unheard.

“You ever wonder, how things would have been different… How our lives would be different, if this hadn’t have happened?”

“Sure.”

“I never had a family, Shepard. Never had children.”

“There’ll be time enough for that now.”

Anderson wheezed out a laugh, seeming to be at peace with what was about to come. She wished she could have said the same. “I… I think that ship has sailed. What about you? Ever think about settling down?”

Shepard struggled to keep her tears at bay. “I guess Hackett didn’t let you in on my little secret,” she said as she pulled out her dog tags, and handed them to Anderson.

Anderson reached out and took them. Examining them closely. “Kaidan?” he asked simply.

“Yeah.”

“I always had a feeling you two would make a good pair.”

“Oh, so you were setting us up for insubordination this whole time,” she tried to joke.

He smirked guiltily. “I’m glad you didn’t wait like I did. Now just make sure you get back to him. Have a bunch of kids.”

“Yeah, I like the sound of that. I’m not sure I’d be much good at it though.”

“Sure you would. I think you’d make a great mom.”

“Thanks,” she said, genuinely appreciating his words, but doubting that this fantasy would ever come to fruition anymore.

“Think how proud your kids would be. Telling everyone their mom is Commander Shepard.”

“I don’t know about that. Not everything I’ve done is something to be proud of.”

“I don’t think I know anyone who couldn’t say the same thing,” he said while straightening himself up trying to get more comfortable, while letting out a pained grunt. “God… feels like years since I just… sat down.”

“I think you’ve earned a rest.” She waited until she didn’t hear any response. “Anderson?”

He just let out some grumbles letting her know that he was still alive. It wasn’t exactly comforting however, knowing that he was quickly losing clarity.

“Stay with me. We’re almost through this.”

“You did good, child. You did good,” he said. His voice getting more and more quiet. And with a whisper of his dying breath, he finished, “I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you, sir,” she let out with a whimper. She was almost sure that he was gone already, but it had to be said. His approval meant everything to her, and she wanted him to know that she appreciated it. “Anderson?” she tested. Nothing. Even if he wasn’t gone yet, he would be soon. There was nothing she could do for him. It didn’t matter much now anyway. She looked down at her hand covered in blood from her abdomen. It seemed like she wouldn’t be far behind him at this rate. She took her dog tags back and grasped them tightly, thinking of Kaidan, and cursing herself for doing this to him again.

She had sat there for barely a moment before Hackett got through to her in desperation. The crucible wasn’t firing, and it was now solely up to her to figure it out. She struggled to bring herself back over to the terminal. Her body felt as though it were filled with lead. She figured the only reason she was even still alive is because of her cybernetics. They were fighting just as hard as she was to repair the damage done to her body, and produce new blood more rapidly. There was simply too much damage to repair though, making every movement a struggle. She finally made her way back to the terminal only to be at a loss for what to do, with her consciousness rapidly fading. She couldn’t hold back any longer, and finally passed out with Hackett yelling in her ear.

\---

“Wake up.”

She woke with a bit of a start to the ethereal voice that somehow seemed as though it was shouting the command at her. She had to give Miranda some credit for this. She knew her cybernetics were good, but she kept being amazed by her ability to simply wake up at all in her state.

She rose slowly to the voice bringing her back to reality. What she witnessed was like some sort of sick joke. It was some ghost-like representation of the boy she failed to rescue back on Earth, claiming that he himself was the catalyst. Was this even real? Was she dead? How could the Catalyst have embodied something so personal to her. This visual representation of all of her failures.

As he began talking to her she quickly realised that this had to be real. As the Catalyst tried to explain its reasoning for how the reapers came to be and what their mission was. That the reapers had been created as the answer to chaos. That there would be a never ending war between synthetics and organics, and reapers were the way to reset all life. Her mind was already so muddied, and all of this information was too complicated for her to have been dreaming about it.

It was so complicated that it was hard for her to even give it the gravity that it deserved. What information she managed to take in all sounded like it made sense in theory, but how could she know that it wasn’t just trying to manipulate her. This Catalyst had been the instigator of the Reaper invasions countless times over, and he even stated how the Reapers gave him purpose. How could she trust anything that he was saying, even if he was allowing her to decide their fate.

There was no chance in hell she would ever consider taking control of them herself. Who was to say how it could affect her mentality, and if she would even be capable of staying impartial in that state. There was no way of knowing that the Reaper’s logic wouldn’t overtake her, and she would end up repeating the process. There were just too many unknowns to even consider such an option.

Synthesis sounded like some kind of miracle cure that was entirely too good to be true. The idea of her body being able to be dissolved into this lifestream, and that in itself would be enough to change the entire structure of all life, synthetic and organic, galaxy wide, was entirely unfathomable. It had honestly sounded like the best option to her, ensuring that life would go on peacefully, but there was just no way for her to trust that something like that could actually work.

That left her with destruction. It was the most logical option to her, but also the one that would come with the biggest loss. She had only just given the geth full autonomy over themselves, making them see the options for peace. They had so much potential. And then there was EDI. Someone who had become her dear friend. Someone she had witnessed trying to become her own person. Someone who was struggling to find meaning in this galaxy, and to learn where she fit in with it. Someone who was only just getting her true start in this life. Someone who didn’t deserve to die.

If the Catalyst had been telling the truth about synthetics inevitably taking over organic life in every instance they witnessed, that was a scary truth to face, and honestly, something that concerned her greatly, even if she couldn’t ever imagine someone like EDI being capable of doing anything like that. But hopefully, with this knowledge, they could use that to their advantage and learn ways to be symbiotic together before something like that could happen… That is, if she was able to relay this information somehow.

No matter what, it sounded like any option would be coming with the cost of her life. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that she was up here alone having to decide the fate of the galaxy. It wasn’t fair having all of these convoluted choices being thrust upon her. It wasn’t fair that her life was finally coming into its own, only to be meeting its abrupt end. But when was life ever fair?

At least there wasn’t any choice persuading her to be selfish, to stay, and to live. She would make this choice knowing it was entirely of her own volition.

She had wasted enough time. Every second delaying her decision was needlessly wasting more lives. It was now or never.

She walked over to the only option that she could really understand, and was praying that everyone’s ‘goddesses’, and ‘spirits’ would forgive her, despite not believing in any of them.

As she moved towards the option to destroy the reapers, she was luckily still able to activate her omni-tool. She used it to turn on her distress beacon, in the hopes that they would be able to recover her body, and hopefully with it, any recordings of her conversation with the Catalyst. It was what she was relying on for people to understand the repercussions of this decision, and hopefully work to prevent history from repeating itself.


	8. In Distress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This starts off with a very brief amount of time overlapping from the last one, from docking the crucible.

The Alliance cruisers of the Crucible project had finally made it to the Sol system. They had been the division of the fifth fleet responsible for housing and protecting the scientists for the Crucible as well as coordinating logistics. They were currently towing it to its destination.

The Citadel was quickly approaching, and they could see the arms opening. Someone had made it! Everyone was waiting on bated breath. This was what they had all been waiting for. It was now or never, and the product of all of their hard work was either going to be the end of the war if it was successful, or the end of civilization as they knew it if it wasn’t.

Having no time to waste, they docked the Crucible to the Citadel. Cheers erupted throughout the cruiser, as they had finally finished the job that they had all poured their blood, sweat, tears and sleepless nights into for the last few months.

The cheers were quickly squashed by a voice over the fleet wide intercom, “Quiet down everyone! I know you’re all excited, but this was really only the first step to the end. Someone still needs to actually reach it, and activate it. Now everyone, back to your stations while we await orders.”

“Admiral Shepard,” said the comm specialist, getting her attention. “Admiral Hackett just sent word that it was Commander Shepard who opened the arms of the Citadel.”

 _‘Oh thank god! She’s still alive!’_ Hannah had heard the previous announcements of thinking that the entire ground crew approaching the beam had died. She was extremely worried because she knew that Jane was part of Hammer team, but if she knew anything about Jane, it was that she had an amazing ability to defy odds and keep on living beyond conditions that were reasonable. She was immensely relieved by this news, but she still had to command her fleet, so simply replied, “Thankyou, specialist.”

Hannah quickly tuned her earpiece to listen to Hackett’s update channel.

_::Nothing’s happening. Commander? It has to be something on your end.::_

Silence. She wouldn’t be able to hear whoever was on the other end of his comms, but she was certain that it was Jane. No matter what the case, that didn’t sound good. Either there was something wrong with the crucible, or Jane was injured and couldn’t manage to detonate it.

She turned to her lead scientist who was working furiously at his station. “Hackett just reported that nothing’s happening. Is something wrong?”

“Not exactly ma’am. All of the diagnostics of the Crucible itself are within normal range. Everything appears to be fine. I’m picking up some weird readings near the connection point. Something is happening. It must be the Catalyst.”

Hannah didn’t have any time to respond when a private distress beacon blipped on her omni-tool. The only person she would have linked to a private beacon was her daughter. The coordinates were right at the connection point between the Crucible and the Citadel, confirming that it must be Jane. It was only a couple of seconds before she saw the distress signal pop up on their galaxy map that was already littered with so many other ones. No one would be able to distinguish hers from all of the others.

Something must have happened. She ran to the pilots view port to witness a large red blast leaving the Crucible, as well as an explosion near the connection point.

“The Crucible has fired! Everybody, brace for impact!” There was no way they would be outrunning this blast, and she just hoped that it would be weak enough by the time it reached them.

As Hannah held on tight, and braced herself, she glanced down at her omni-tool to find that the distress signal was gone.

Hannah was hunkered down, just waiting, but the impact never came. Instead, all of their ships primary functions flickered before going completely black.

Hannah quickly stood up and walked over to her pilot. “What just happened?”

“The explosion just passed us ma’am. I’m not sure what’s happening, but at least it doesn’t seem to have been concussive in nature,” he said as the emergency functions came online.

“And the Reapers?”

“They seem to just be dead weight, floating there. I think it worked!”

“Thank god,” she said with a sigh of relief, before moving to the intercom to make a fleet wide announcement. “The explosion has passed. I think we’re in the clear for now. Don’t let your guard down yet, but it appears that the Crucible worked. The Reapers are dead. All military personnel, stand by for Admiral Hackett’s orders. All engineers, try to find out what just happened to our ships ASAP.”

She quickly walked over to her Comm Specialist. “Get me Jacob Taylor, and tell him to meet me down in the armory. Also, comm our medical ship, and tell them that I want Ada Alenko ready and waiting in their airlock fully geared in an environmental suit with triage supplies.”

“Right away, ma’am.”

“Captain Harvey?” She called out to her XO.

“Yes ma’am?”

“I’m taking a shuttle out to the Citadel. Take over the ship. If main functionality doesn’t return to the fleet, and you don’t hear anything from Admiral Hackett or myself, you have my permission to dock on Earth in two hours. If you do so, try to keep me updated with your coordinates. I don’t know the extent of what’s going on with our tech, so just do your best.”

She raced down to the armory as she heard the ship wide announcement stating that her XO now had command. At least some things were working.

Jacob was standing at attention as she entered. “Admiral.”

“At ease Jacob. Come on and get suited up.”

He hurriedly moved to match her frantically gearing up.

“Can I ask what we’re doing Ma’am?”

“Right before the Crucible fired, I got a distress signal from my daughter at the connection point. We’re going to go look for her.”

Jacob stopped what he was doing and looked at her cautiously. “With all due respect ma’am, do you think that’s really a good decision? I know this must be hard for you, but… well...” He couldn’t bring himself to say what they were both thinking.

“Thank you for your concern, Jacob, but I’m not stupid. I’m hoping for the best right now, but I’m not kidding myself into thinking she’s alive. That being said, she’s the only thing I have left in this universe, and I’ve already lost her once. I couldn’t do anything about it then, but I’ll be damned if I don’t at least try right now. Not when I’m so close to her. If I were to ever find out that she could have been saved, and I didn’t even try to find her, I couldn’t live with myself. You may not be a father yet, but you’ll understand for yourself soon enough.”

Jacob just looked down at his gear. “I’m sorry, Admiral.”

“No time for apologies, Jacob. Just help me now and we’ll call it even. Grab your gear, and finish getting ready in the shuttle.”

Jacob grabbed all of his supplies and ran after her. He couldn’t help but notice that this must be where Shepard got her forgiving nature from, not to mention her determination and focus. He noticed Hannah getting into the driver’s seat of the shuttle, and telling her main ships pilot that they were preparing for departure and to open the bay doors. “You’re a pilot too?”

“Yes, that’s actually how I got my start in the alliance until everyone realised that I was better suited towards infantry and leadership.” She didn’t wait for Jacob to be geared up and buckled in before leaving for the medical ship. “Don’t worry though. I’ve still kept up with basic pilot training in my down time. It may not be one of my best strengths, but I enjoyed it too much to give it up completely. I’m perfectly capable of piloting this shuttle.”

“If you say so. Just please don’t tell me you’re on par for the Commander’s ability to drive a Hammerhead.”

They both laughed at that. It was nice to have something to ease the tension, even if it was only for a moment. “I’ve heard some horror stories with her behind the wheel of the Mako. I’m pretty sure I’m better than that… I think,” she said giving Jacob a playful wink, just to see him squirm a bit.

They quickly docked at the medical ship, and Ada was already waiting for them with her gear. Jacob helped her inside and led her to buckle up in the front.

“Hannah! I didn’t think you’d actually be the one here. What’s going on?”

Jacob was a little surprised by the informality, but remained quiet.

“I picked up a distress beacon from Jane before the Crucible fired. I lost it, but I’m hoping that it’s just because of all of the tech shortages rather than the alternative. We’re going to look for her.”

Ada just nodded her head silently.

“Are you alright, Ada?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m prepared to do anything to help you find Jane, and help her as best I can when we do. I’m not going to lie though, I’m slightly terrified. I’d never even been off planet before you evacuated me, and then we all go into the thick of a reaper battle, and now you have me suited up in this…” She puts her arms out questioningly, “whatever this suit is, and we’re about to go walking into the Citadel that was just blown up by the biggest weapon the galaxy has ever seen. It’s all just a little bit overwhelming.”

“I can understand that. Try not to worry though. You’re as much a part of my family now as Jane is. I’m not going to bring you into anything that I think is too dangerous, and we’ll be looking out for you the entire time.”

“I know, Hannah. I trust you. I just have no idea how you all do this every day.”

Hannah couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I’m starting to wonder that myself. It might be time to retire.”

“I’m not sure if I believe you on that one.”

Hannah smirked, happy at how well Ada already seemed to know her. “By the way, this is Jacob Taylor. He was part of Jane’s crew a while back. Jacob, this is Ada, she’s a nurse. I mostly want to have her on standby, just in case.”

“Oh. Nice to meet you Jacob. You were a part of Jane’s crew? Does that mean you know Kaidan as well?”

“Uh, no. I know who he is, but I haven’t actually met him. I was a part of her crew during her Cerberus days.”

“Oh,” she said, a little surprised. “Then what are you doing here?”

“Shepard opened our eyes to what the illusive man was really like. We all either defected with her at the time or very shortly after. She found me with a group of ex-Cerberus scientists a while back, and moved us over to the Crucible project. The rest is history.”

“She can be quite persuasive that one,” Ada said with a smile, as Hannah huffed out a quiet laugh. “Kaidan is my son.”

“Ah. Everything’s starting to make sense now,” he said, as he realised that they were likely the only 3 people on Admiral Shepard’s detail that knew Jane personally, and wouldn’t mind making the sacrifice of looking for her in the middle of what just happened, and at ground zero no less. He had heard that Kasumi was also working on the Crucible, but somewhere along the lines she became more of a procurement specialist and didn’t spend much of her time on the actual project itself. “Well we’re almost there. I promise I’ll do what I can to help find Shepard,” Jacob said, almost feeling ashamed for how he had so easily dismissed her earlier. This was Commander Shepard after all. If anyone could make it through an explosion like that, it would be her.

“Thank you. That’s all we can ask for right now,” Hannah replied.

Jacob was looking out the windows. They were at the Citadel now trying to find any kind of vantage point. “Over there. It looks like there’s a maintenance tunnel pretty close to that beam. We should try to find a place to land near there. That’s probably the closest we’ll be able to get to wherever Shepard was when the Crucible fired.”

“I think I can fit into that clearing over there by those shops,” she said as she began their descent. “Hold on. I haven’t had much practice landing in such a small space before.”

Jacob didn’t waste any time before grabbing on to both railings by his sides. Ada checked her buckles, as she braced herself with one arm. Hannah slowed their pace as she landed, but still managed to run over a tree, and crash into a store front. Luckily the glass had already been shattered, likely from the explosion that occurred not even a half an hour earlier.

“Sorry about the rough landing,” she said as she got up, not wasting any time. “Check your suit seals. We have no idea how the atmosphere was affected, or if it’s still even functional at all. Ada, it’s safest if you come with us. It looks clear up here, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. I’ll bring up the front. Jacob, you bring up the rear. Ada’s a civilian, so you protect her as best you can. Don’t take any chances. Any questions?” she asked, mostly looking at Ada.

“Just one. How do I know if this suit is sealed?”

Hannah tapped her finger on Ada’s helmet visor. “There should be a readout right here, giving you your suits atmospheric pressure readings, and O2 levels. Atmospheric pressure should be at 100%, and O2 shouldn’t be decreasing at a rapid rate. There should be enough in there for about 4 hours, so it’s normal to notice it dropping by about 25% per hour. Hopefully none of this will be necessary anyway, but we’ll have to take atmospheric readings as we go.”

“I see the readings now. I can’t believe I didn’t notice them before. Everything looks normal.”

“This has to be pretty nerve-racking for you. It’s pretty easy to overlook. You’re doing fine, Ada. Just stay close to me. Listen for orders. When we make stops, fall into cover. As I said before, I don’t expect any trouble, but I want you to be prepared for anything.”

“Thanks, Hannah. I think I’ll be okay. I’m ready to go,” she said as she grabbed her medical bag.

“Good. I know you can do this,” she said, as she reassuringly tapped Ada’s shoulder. “Alright. Let’s go.”

Hannah got out as she quickly, but thoroughly surveyed the area. She waved at them to follow, and they quickly made their way over to a doorway that was used for keeper access.

“That maintenance tunnel has got to be past these doors,” said Jacob as he tried opening them with his omni-tool. It wasn’t working. He didn’t know whether it was the tech being fried, or the fact that it was a keeper tunnel that needed some kind of higher access, but the conventional way of getting through was simply not going to happen. Jacob banged against the doors to test how solid they were. Pretty solid as it turned out. He wasn’t going to be able to simply break past them.

“I’m going to use my biotics. Ada you might want to stand clear.”

She quickly moved out of the way, behind some rubble. Hannah moved to have a vantage point further back behind Jacob, just in case something were to come through those doors if he managed to open them.

Jacob stopped to make sure everyone was safe and ready before using his biotic pull. The doors were only slightly moving when they all heard a loud thud on the other side of the door. That thud also seemed to leave a rather impressive dent.

“Jacob, get back, and ready yourself!” Hannah said, as she raised her gun to point at the door.

He stopped his biotic pull, and moved off slightly to the side, as they heard the loud thud again, that left another dent in the door. Jacob saw that the seal was weakening and realised that if he used his pull the next time whatever that was on the other side of the door did that again, it would probably give way.

He waited until he heard the thumps of a strong stride headed towards them, and used his pull at the last second. There was a loud crashing noise, as a large krogan came running, and grunting through the doors. Hannah had enough forethought to recognize that it was a friendly and not fire her weapon, but not enough to move out of the way. She was quickly toppled over with roughly 700 pounds of pure krogan on top of her, staring her dead in the face. She was suddenly very glad to have worn her heavy armour for this outing, otherwise she was sure she would have been crushed. She didn’t have long to process anything that had just happened before the krogan spoke.

“Shepard?” he managed to say, somewhat breathily, and very confused.

“Do I know you?” she managed with a grunt.

“It’s me, Wrex,” he said as he finally began to stand up.

“Ah. You must be referring to my daughter. I admit, we do look rather similar, but that was still quite a compliment. I’m afraid my age usually gives me away.”

“I thought something was off about you. It was hard to tell through your helmet, but I guess that must be it. I didn’t remember her having grey hair, or so many crackly lines all over her face.”

“Jee, thanks,” she huffed out with an eye roll.

“Now that I hear you though, your voice is totally different, but you do look almost exactly like her. Then again, most of you humans tend to look alike, so what do I know.”

“How the hell did you get up here?”

“After the Reapers stopped, I figured Shepard might need help up here, so I came running for the beam. It still worked and got me up here. It landed me in that access tunnel back there. I had just gotten up and started looking around when I saw the blue haze on the door, and started to make a run for it.”

“That was smart. The part about the beam at least. I’m not quite sure about the door. We’re looking for her too. I got a distress signal from her right before the Crucible fired.”

“I’m pretty sure that access tunnel has got to be the way. I saw a ramp leading up to some strange room, but I haven’t had any time to go look yet.”

She nodded in understanding as she looked over at Ada. She was leaning back against the wall, with her arms propped up on her bent knees, looking like she was about ready to pass out.

“Ada, are you okay?”

“Oh yeah. Don’t worry about me. I just went through about an hours worth of oxygen in the last 10 minutes, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. I was pretty sure we were all going to die, but I’m good now.”

“It’s okay. Just take a minute and catch your breath,” she said, as she looked back to Wrex. “Speaking of which, you’re not wearing any kind of helmet. Is the atmosphere breathable?”

“Yeah, but uh... Shepard? Damn, it’s weird saying that name to someone that’s not my Shepard.”

“I can understand that. Call me Hannah if it makes you feel better.”

“Okay, Hannah. Is that one a civilian?” he asked, pointing at Ada.

“Yes. Why?”

“You should come see something, probably before you take your helmets off” He waved at her to follow him back towards the access tunnel.

“Jacob, stay with her, and keep watch for a minute. We’ll be right back.”

He brought her over to the darkened, red tunnel. She had seen mounds of something as Wrex broke through the door, but as they walked closer, she could now see that they were all human bodies. Just piles and piles of them, running the length of the entire corridor, walls smeared in blood. She was no stranger to war, and had seen more than anyone’s fair share of casualties, but the sheer amount, and barbaric nature of how they were all just collected in piles for god only knows what, was enough to make her reel back for a moment. She had never seen anything quite like this. And if she were reacting this way, she knew it was going to be difficult on Ada.

“Oh my god.” was all she could manage.

“I think the gods left us a long time ago,” he grunted. “They’re all human. Probably just because the Citadel is at Earth. I don’t know. But even I think this is pretty horrific. How do you think she’s going to take it?" he said pointing towards the entrance. “There’s no way around from what I can tell. Or at the very least, this is the quickest way to the central area.”

“I don’t know how she’ll take it, but we need her. She’s a nurse, and I’m assuming that if we find Jane alive, she’s going to need help. I’ll go talk to her,” she said as she left to return to the others.

“Ada, are you alright?”

“Yes, I think I’m ready to go.”

“Okay, good. I have to warn you though... I’m so sorry for bringing you into this, but I needed you. I hope you’ll forgive me for what you’re about to see.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“I think the Reapers were collecting human bodies. For what, I have no idea. There’s no way around them though, and it’s pretty gruesome. Do you think you’ll be okay?”

“I haven’t come all this way for nothing. I may not have had a chance to meet Jane in person, but all that matters is that Kaidan loves her, and that means that I love her too. I meant what I said earlier. I’m prepared to do whatever it takes if it means that we can find her.”

“You have no idea how much I appreciate you right now. I know you’re a nurse and have probably seen some pretty bad things yourself, but you should still probably prepare yourself. And just remember no matter how bad it looks, we can’t do anything for these people anymore, so try not to dwell on it. If you think you’re going to throw up, the air is breathable, so you’re okay to take your helmet off if you have to, but I would try to avoid it if at all possible. From what I saw, I’m sure the smell is awful. Just try to stay focused on our goal, and keep moving.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s go find Jane.”

“Alright, everyone. Let’s move out,” Hannah ordered, as she took the front. Wrex and Jacob took the rear, and no one wasted anymore time, as they all took up a deliberately faster pace. Partially because they were so close, but mostly to just get past the atrocities lying all around them.

“That ramp I mentioned is just up there to the right,” Wrex yelled from behind.

“I see it,” she said making a run for it, but ducking into cover to make sure it was clear first. It was just a massive cavern with one set of ramps going up into what looked like the central area of the base of the Citadel. “It looks clear. That has to be it,” she said as she moved out.

As the four of them ran up the ramp, all they could see was a giant pile of rubble. Upon further inspection, they could see that the ceiling far above them had caved in. There were small fires littered throughout the space, but there wasn’t really any flammable material, so they wouldn’t be any real threat. They did however imply that they were probably right in thinking this was the source of the explosion.

“Are your scanners working?” Hannah inquired as she started up her own omni-tool. “Start looking for life signs.” She took off her helmet so she could see and hear better. The smell of death still lingered in the air, but she was thankful that it must have only been a fraction of what the tunnel was housing.

After only a few minutes of searching, Jacob was the first one to speak. “I think I have something!”

They all rushed over, scanning the area themselves. Everyone seemed to pick up the same weak life signs, which meant it wasn’t malfunctioning. Hannah changed her scanner into a brighter light, trying to find anything. As she walked over to the other side of the heap, she slowly scanned the area with her light. She saw a slight glimmer, but had to take a second glance at it since it was the same colour as all of the debris. That’s when she noticed it. An N7 logo, buried under the rubble.


	9. Rescued

Hannah bent down to make sure she wasn’t imagining things. It was definitely an N7 logo, on a badly melted chest piece. That was all she could see. Everything else was entirely buried by the rubble.

“Here!” she yelled with a slight quiver in her voice, and everyone started to rush over.

“Jane? Is that you? Can you hear me?”

There was no response, as Ada knelt down beside her.

“Look. Her chest is moving. She’s alive,” Ada said, as she brought up her omni-tool, starting to take a preliminary diagnostic. “Her pulse is weak and thready. I can’t do anything with her trapped like this. We need to get her out of there. Now.”

Hannah immediately started pulling off the smaller pieces that she could manage. “Jacob, quick, use your biotics and get this stuff off of her.”

“I’m a biotic too,” Wrex huffed as he started lifting a support beam out of the way.

Ada stayed as close as she could without getting in the way to try to monitor and assess Shepard's condition as more of her was revealed to them. As Jacob lifted a large piece off of her abdomen, she saw that there was a large open wound that looked like it had been bleeding profusely, and still hadn’t clotted. She took off her suit’s gloves so she could work better, quickly took out a large tube of medi-gel, and began slathering it all over. It didn’t have to be the best job for right now, it just had to stop the bleeding.

As she was putting on a second dollop, Shepard’s body became rigid, and a jolt ran through Ada’s arm. She yelped as she recoiled. Her omni-tool monitoring Jane’s vitals started showing a steadier heart rate.

“What just happened?” asked Hannah. “Are you okay?”

“I’m not quite sure what that was. I’m fine though,” she responded as she scanned Shepard again, running another diagnostic. “Oh my god. Her cybernetics are shorting out. Whatever is messing with all of our tech must be affecting her too. It just shocked her enough to steady her heart rate.”

“Well that’s a good thing then, isn’t it?” Hannah asked desperately.

“No. Not at all. For now it seems to be jump starting her heart, keeping her alive. But if this keeps happening, it’ll do the exact opposite. We have no way of knowing if the next time this happens will kill her or not.”

“Alright, that means double time it, people!”

It didn’t take them much longer to free her completely. As Ada diligently set to work on what she could, while Hannah just took in the sight of her. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She was shocked that Jane could even still be alive. She was entirely unconscious, which was a good thing from the look of it. She was sitting in a large pool of her own blood from the abdominal would. There was a large gash running along the top of her head, matting her hair down around her swollen and bruised face. One of her arms was covered in blood, but from what exactly, she couldn’t tell. And that was only the visible extent of her injuries.

As Ada quickly finished up what she could, she was the one that started barking out orders. “That’s all I can do for her here, someone, grab that flat metal sheet and help me move her onto it.”

Hannah ran and placed the sheet as close to her daughter as possible.

“We have to try to keep her as still as possible in case her spine or neck are injured. Wait, Jacob, can you use stasis on her, and move her out with your biotics?”

“Sure thing. Is she good to go?”

“Now, or never.”

He didn’t need to be told twice as he tried to move her as delicately as possible, and gently placed her down on the metal plating. He and Wrex, picked up the plating, and no one wasted any time making a run for it back to the shuttle, this time easily ignoring the atrocities littering the tunnel now that they had something to focus on.

Jacob used his stasis again as he moved Shepard onto the pull-out cot as delicately as possible. Ada rushed in behind her, strapped her down as best she could, and went straight to work, putting in an IV, taking more thorough diagnostics, and trying to see if she could safely take off any of the armour.

Hannah got into the pilot’s seat, and tried to hail her fleet, as she started to take off. “Fifth Fleet, Crucible Division, come in. This is Rear Admiral Shepard.”

_ ::This is XO Harvey. Go ahead, Admiral.:: _

“Thank god! Harvey, have you left for Earth yet?”

_ ::No ma’am. We were just about to depart. Everything still seems clear up here. There’s still no movement from the Reapers, but we haven’t regained our primary functions yet either. The Engineers think they might be close, but they didn’t want to risk it.:: _

“Okay. That’s fine. Can you get in contact with the medical ship and tell them to meet us on their way. We found Commander Shepard. She’s alive, but barely, and she’s going to need help. Make sure there’s a medical team standing by.”

“Make sure they have blood. The sooner she gets a transfusion, the better,” Ada yelled.

“Did you get all of that Harvey?”

_ ::Yes ma’am. They’ll rendezvous with you on their way with a medical team and have blood standing by. Oh, and Admiral, I know it’s not good timing, but I have some information that I think you’d like to be privy to.:: _

“Yes. What is it?”

_ ::We’ve heard from Admiral Hackett that the Normandy is missing in action.:: _

Well that was the last thing she needed to be hearing right now. Suddenly she was grateful that all of this information was coming in over her private earpiece, and not through the ship’s speakers. Not that she didn’t want Ada to know, but she didn’t want her to panic. She had only recently lost her husband to those terms, she didn’t need to be making assumptions about what that could mean for her son, and Hannah didn’t need Ada to be distracted while she was the only force saving her daughter’s life. She would find a way to break this to her more easily when they got the chance.

“Thank you, Captain Harvey. That will be all.”

_ ::Good luck. Over and out.:: _

“How’s she doing Ada?”

“She’s still holding in there for now. She hasn’t had another major pulse from her cybernetics, but it’s constantly giving out a low voltage from what I can tell. It’s a good thing she’s out, otherwise this would have to be torturous on top of everything else she’s going through.”

“So what do we do about that?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure how much you’re going to like it.”

“Just give it to me straight, Ada.”

“Well, I’m not an expert at this. Hell I’m not even a doctor, but I would say our only option at this point is to get her on life support so we can shut down all of her cybernetics. Otherwise, this will eventually kill her. It might at least give us a chance to fix her up and give us time to figure out what better options we have.”

“Okay, well then that’s what we’ll do. Anything to give her a chance. Jacob, do you think you’d be able to get in contact with Miranda Lawson?”

“As long as the communications aren’t down. I think she was near Earth during the final push. With any luck, she’ll still be there.”

“Good. I’m sure we could use her help. Please try.”

Jacob went to work on his omni-tool, trying to see if he could get through.

Wrex had just been quietly observing everything unfolding around him, feeling a bit useless at this point. He decided to try to be comforting. Or as comforting as a krogan can be. “Heh, I can see where Shepard gets it from. You’re strong, Hannah. Never lose your focus.”

“Thanks, Wrex.”

He glanced back at the younger Shepard. He was worried, but he knew that she was a fighter. “She’ll make it,” he said a little more seriously than his previous tone.

“I know you were on her team when you were going after Saren. Were you close?”

“She’s part of Clan Urdnot. We don’t bestow that honour on just anyone. She’s been there for me and my people more times than I can count at this point.”

That managed to get a real smile out of her. “I can’t believe she didn’t tell me she was an Urdnot. Next thing I know, she will have gotten married in secret behind my back… Oh, wait.” They both shared a good laugh at that one, before she reveled in the crazy life her daughter had experienced. It saddened Hannah to realise just how much of it she didn’t even know about thanks to their busy lives, and secretive careers. This was something that was going to change. She had already taken Jane’s life for granted once. This war almost forced her to do it again. Assuming Jane would live through this, she would make sure not to repeat that mistake. “Thanks for coming up here, Wrex. I don’t know if we could have done it without you,” she said sincerely.

“You would have done fine without me. You’re strong. Like her. I’m happy to do what I can though. She’s my sister. She’s done more for me and my people than anyone else I’ve ever known. I wasn’t about to pass up the chance to repay that if I could. I’m glad I didn’t.”

Hannah just nodded.

They were quickly approaching their destination. The medical ship had opened their loading bay doors, waiting for them to dock. Hannah could see a medical team waiting with a stretcher just beyond the airlock. As they landed, she could hear the doors closing behind her, accompanied by the loading bay repressurising.

The medical team, ran over and met them by the shuttle doors. The doctor jumped in to help prepare Shepard to be moved. Hannah overheard her gasp, followed by a whispered and sympathetic  _ “Oh, Commander” _ that almost made her wonder if she should be asking for a different doctor. At first glance, she was worried that she may have been some hero worshiper, or someone who would have fought for bragging rights to say that she saved the savior of the citadel, but as she watched the doctor quickly get back to work, she thought better than to interrupt the person saving her daughter’s life.

The doctor didn’t waste time adding a blood bag to her IV, and putting a brace around her neck, so they could move her more safely. The team ran with Shepard on a stretcher towards what she was guessing was an OR. For now, any of Hannah’s fears of the doctor’s intentions were set aside. She looked fully capable and confident, and didn’t want to get in the middle of anything while Jane’s life was still hanging in the balance.

Ada stopped by Hannah’s side momentarily to address her before running after Shepard. “Jane’s at least somewhat stable for now. I really better join them and make sure they know the full extent of what’s going on, especially with her cybernetics.”

“Thanks, Ada,” she said quietly. The weight of everything finally starting to hit her.

“Hey, listen to me. I don’t ever like to make promises in my line of work, but the fact that she was even able to become as stable as she is now is a good sign. She’s far from being out of the woods, but she really might have a chance, as long as we can figure out her cybernetics.”

Hannah just nodded, as she wiped a single tear away with her thumb. She was trying very hard to stay composed in front of her crew. Ada wasn’t her crew though, and gave her a quick hug, and rubbed her back slightly.

“I promise I’ll do everything I can for her, and I’ll make sure the doctors do the same.”

“Thank you,” she said as Ada started walking away. “Oh, hey. I’m the same blood type as her, I can donate some of my blood.”

“That’s good. It looked like they had enough for now, but it never hurts. Especially if she’ll need more surgeries later, which is pretty likely from what I saw. I’ll come find you later and do it myself.”

Hannah just nodded, offering her a small smile.

As Ada was running after them, Hannah glanced around the room to see that Wrex and Jacob were both sitting on some crates in the corner of the docking bay. Jacob was checking his omni-tool.

“Any luck, Jacob?”

“It looks like vid and voice calling is out of commission right now. Whether that’s due to high volume, or the tech outage I’m not sure, but I did manage to get a text message out to her.”

“Was it a secured line?”

“No, but I tried to keep it vague. We’re in luck though. She’s on Earth right now. She said she can meet us wherever we’re going. Just give me the coordinates, and I’ll forward them to her.”

“Tell her to meet us at whatever’s left of Alliance HQ in Vancouver.”

“Right away, Admiral.”

“Thank you, Jacob,” she said, as she watched him type out his message. Then she glanced over to Wrex. “So what about you? What are we going to do with you?”

“Heh. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m sure I’ll be able to find my own transport when we land. Whatever’s left of my clan is all in London, so I’ll go find them, and then see what it’s going to take to get out of here, and back to Tuchanka. I wouldn’t mind an update on Shepard though when you can.”

“Of course. Thanks again, Wrex. Even if we could have done it without you, I really appreciate that you were there. It speaks volumes that you were willing to do something like that by yourself for my daughter.”

“No problem, Hannah. It was nice to meet the rest of clan Shepard. I think it’s about time I found some grub though. You think they have any Ryncol on this ship?”

“Ha! I seriously doubt that. As for the food though, this isn’t my ship, but I think the main cafeteria  is on the second floor.”

“Alright. Thanks. See ya around.”

Jacob moved to her side now. “Miranda has the coordinates and is already on her way. She should be able to meet us there a few hours after we land.”

“Okay. Thanks, Jacob,” she said with a sigh, as she started to leave for the airlock.

“Wait. Admiral... I just wanted to say, that I’m sorry for dismissing her so easily before. Even if I had my doubts, it shouldn’t have mattered. She’s my friend and she just saved us all. She deserved better than for me to have totally given up on her like that.”

“To be honest, for someone that’s worked with her before I was a bit surprised at your attitude. I can’t really say that I blame you though. I mean, I saw the explosion as it happened, and if she was right there… well, let’s just say part of me still can’t believe that she’s actually alive. Thanks for still going along with me despite your doubts.”

“I’m glad I did.”

Hannah just nodded, in understanding.

“I’ll keep you updated about Miranda’s whereabouts, and I’ll make sure to be there when she lands to introduce you.”

“I appreciate it. But for now, you go get some rest, and go tell that girlfriend of yours that you’re okay.”

“Aye Aye, Admiral.”

He saluted as he began walking somewhere towards the inner parts of the ship, leaving Hannah by herself in the loading bay. Alone with nothing to do. That was possibly the last thing that she needed right now. Hannah wasn’t used to feeling helpless. She didn’t like it. Being alone only served as a reminder as to how little she could really do in this case. Instead of dwelling on everything that had and could go wrong, she decided that she would turn this worried anticipation into something more productive. Find a purpose to get her through this turmoil. It seemed to her that she owed a favour to Ada, and now might be the perfect time follow through with it.


	10. The Waiting Game

The Crucible Division had landed back on Earth a few hours ago. Alliance HQ in Vancouver was completely destroyed, along with much of Vancouver itself, so they were diverted to the temporary HQ set up in Abbotsford. It was located far enough outside of the city centre that it wasn’t a main focus for the Reapers, so the damage was minimal, but also somewhere that had enough empty land to make a temporary port for space vessels, and a refugee camp.

The engineers had also managed to find a way to get all of the primary functions back online. Hannah made sure they focused all of their attention on the medical ship first. She wouldn’t argue that most of her reasoning for that was selfish, but whether her daughter was currently being worked on in there or not, it would have been the right call.

With all of the destruction, finding a hospital in tact would be hard enough as it is, and with the war having just ended, there would be more than enough people looking for treatment. Medical ships were probably going to be heavily relied on for the foreseeable future, and this way, they could start treating the wounded as quickly as possible. There was already a line forming from the refugee camp set up in one of the nearby fields. The alliance had already set up a triage centre in the loading bay, where it seemed like anyone with any kind of medical knowledge was helping to some degree.

Hannah had been witnessing all of this as she was exiting the ship, cleaned off and as well rested as she could be. Her daughter had been stuck in surgery, and she knew that Jane’s status wasn’t about to change anytime soon, so she had taken advantage of the time before Miranda’s arrival to take a long shower, and quick and fitful nap to relieve herself of the exhaustion of everything that had just happened. A huge weight had just been lifted off of her chest with the war finally having been won, just to have another one dumped right on top of her with her daughter’s life now hanging on by a thread.

She couldn’t be more proud that her daughter was strong enough to be on the front lines, sacrificing everything to save her galaxy, but she wished more than anything that she could trade places with her now. To everyone else, Jane was a savior; but to Hannah, she was still her baby, and that wasn’t ever going to change, no matter how many times she’d become a hero. Seeing your own child on the brink of death wasn’t something she’d wish on her worst enemy.

Miranda was about to arrive at any moment. If she kept thinking like that, she was going to cry, and that was hardly the kind of first impression she wanted to give, so she quickly changed her train of thought before her emotions could get the better of her.

Instead, she looked back to the triage centre and was absolutely delighted to find the galactic community working together even after the urgency had dissipated. There was no need for an alliance anymore, but she could still see krogan and turians working together. The quarians were being treated with respect. There were even some batarians helping where they could. A lot of what she was witnessing was also in no small part due to her daughters hard work over the last few months.

Hannah let out a single huff of a laugh as she thought to herself how hard it was to avoid thinking of her daughter, when the results of Jane’s efforts were literally surrounding her. She just hoped that it would stick. The war had only just been won several hours ago. People were bound to be running on the high from that for a while. Maybe years. Maybe decades. Maybe even more, but sooner or later, grievances would make themselves known. The difference now was that maybe everyone felt such a camaraderie from seeing the results of what teamwork can do that they can at least learn to respect each other, work past their differences and move forward together.

“Admiral Shepard,” someone yelled from behind her. She turned to see that Jacob was running to meet her.

She greeted him with a smile. “Jacob.”

“Good to see you’re keeping your spirits up.”

“I’m trying at least. Hopefully it will be a bit easier when we finally talk with Miranda.”

“Well, then I have good news for you. She just sent me a message a few minutes ago saying that they were starting landing procedures. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s her shuttle.” He was saying as he was pointing towards a small ship setting down about 200 meters over from where they were. She was almost surprised they were able to find a place to land at all.

“Well let’s go find out, shall we,” she stated, as they began walking over there in silence.

The area was already overcrowded with the refugee camps sharing fields with a lot of the ships that had been stranded outside of Earth. She had overheard some ships being diverted down south, and could have sworn someone had even said something about some of them getting sent to Mars. They were probably looking into all of their options for temporary housing. There had been chatter about there being something wrong with the Relays, and with almost everyone in the galaxy having been in this system when they stopped working, they were going to need a lot of space for refugees.

Of course everything she had been hearing up to this point hadn’t been confirmed in any sort of official capacity. All of that was likely Admiral Hackett’s business right now, and she was just thankful that she hadn’t been called upon for duty at this particular moment. She had been too busy and exhausted to really care about the specifics of anything that was going on that didn’t involve her daughter’s well being.

They had reached the shuttle as people were starting to come out. Jacob and Hannah were just standing and waiting. They were likely trying to save as much space as possible and brought as many people that would comfortably fit into the transport as they could. A sleek picture of perfection slowly stepped out of the shuttle, and Hannah could barely believe that anyone was capable of looking as good as that at a time like this.

“Miranda!”

The woman picked her head up and looked over to the pair. Of course that would be Miranda. She walked over to them, and gave Jacob a hug.

“Jacob. It’s so good to see you. I’m glad you’re alright.”

Ah, perfect. She had an accent too. Hannah could hardly believe that this was once a trusted leader within Cerberus, and not some model for Fornax.

“And I can already tell who you are. You must be Admiral Shepard. You’re the spitting image of Jane. Or, well, I guess that’s really the other way around isn’t it?”

“Yes, we tend to get that a lot,” she said as she offered her hand to shake. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Miranda.”

“Likewise,” she said as she took the older woman's hand. “It’s an honour to finally get a chance to meet you as well, though I do wish it were under better circumstances.”

Hannah turned to Jacob, “I thought you said you kept your message vague.”

Before he even had a chance to answer, Miranda replied. “Oh, he did. But he did say that you specifically were looking for me, and well, I just have a feeling I know what this is about.”

“Ah so you’re smart too. I was beginning to worry that I had called a supermodel here for no good reason.”

Miranda let out an audible laugh. “Usually when you hear something like that, you should be flattered, but somehow I think I should be offended by that.”

Hannah reciprocated that with her own laugh. “Hardly. It was meant to be a compliment. Just with how good you look, you kind of stick out like a sore thumb right now.”

Miranda took that chance to look around. It really did look bleak. There were sick and injured people everywhere, and if they weren’t either of those, there were a lot of people crying and mourning. “Ah, yes. Well, I guess you can blame my perfect genetics on that,” she said as a bit of a half hearted joke.

 _‘What the hell is that even supposed to mean?"_ Hannah thought to herself as she gave an eye roll. She didn’t even know how to address that right now. “How about we go somewhere more private to talk,” she simply led with, as Hannah directed them towards the medical ship. She had brought them to a small dorm like room.

“I’m a bit surprised that they have an admiral holed up in here,” Miranda said.

“Oh these aren’t my quarters. I’m just borrowing it for the time being.” Ada had given Hannah use of her room, since Hannah’s ship was returned to orbit for the time being, and Ada knew that she likely wouldn’t want to be far from her daughter. Her room had two beds anyway, and she hadn’t been assigned a roommate. At least in the privacy of her room, Ada figured that she’d be able to get a bit of a better rest than in the waiting area. She knew that it would take a long time to have any kind of news on Jane anyway, so it really was the best option. Hannah had gladly obliged. Sleeping arrangements were the least of her worries right now.

“But anyway, I’m afraid we don’t really have any time to waste, so let’s just get down to business, shall we. You’re the one who’s responsible for bringing Jane back after Alchera, correct?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”

“Perfect, well you should know that she is alive, but judging by our previous conversation, you probably know that already. I’m going to be honest though, she didn’t look good. They’ve been working on her ever since we found her. I haven’t gotten any updates yet, but we could use all the help we can get, and you’ve already put her back together once.”

“While that is true, I’m not really a doctor or a scientist, though I did pick up some of those skills while working on the Lazarus project, I wouldn’t say that I’d be confident in working on her now. I was really more of an asset manager, talent scout, and leader.”

“So you can’t help us?”

“I didn’t say that. In fact, I may be the best person you could have reached out to.”

“How do you mean?”

“As it turns out, my talent at finding important assets was something that I didn’t leave behind with Cerberus. I wasn’t with her as it happened, but a little over a month ago, Shepard had a run-in with her clone -”

“Excuse me, her what now?”

“Ah, I’m surprised she didn’t mention it. It was right before she got married. I guess she had more important things to tell you.”

“So it would seem.”

“Yes, well, as I was saying. I’ll spare you the details, but I happen to have her clone in my possession. She was another Cerberus project. Incase something were to ever happen with our Shepard, she was meant to be a live organ donor. Let’s just say, the Clone will not be needing them anymore, because she’s braindead. I had really hoped it would be an asset that we’d never have to put to use, but I also know your daughter. Better safe than sorry, with that one, so I took it upon myself to preserve her should the worst happen.”

For the first time since Miranda got there, an air of melancholy surrounded her. “Now I’m just glad I followed my intuition, because it sounds like we may be needing the clone for its intended purpose.”

“To be honest, I had my doubts about you because of your Cerberus ties, but I knew my daughter had to like you for a reason. Where’s the clone now? Are we even within range? It sounds like the relays aren’t working.”

“Yes, she’s been on my ship ever since we found her. That same ship is how I got to Earth. I told them to evacuate to the edge of the Sol System, so they should be close. The only problem is that I haven’t been able to get through to their communications. We’ll likely have to go after her ourselves.”

“Okay. That sounds perfectly manageable, if not entirely insane. How the hell does my daughter get herself mixed up in these things.”

Miranda smiled, as she couldn’t help thinking to herself how sweet it was to witness this overtly parental act treating Shepards crazy life as though she was being an unruly teenager. “She certainly has a knack for it, doesn’t she,” Miranda offered. “May I see her? That might give me an idea as to what we’re working with. Maybe even at least check up on her cybernetics.”

“Of course. But now that you mention it, her cybernetics had been shorting out,” Hannah said as she led them out of the room and towards an elevator.

“Shorting out? That shouldn’t be possible. It must be from whatever the crucible did.”

“That would have been my guess.”

“Well, I’ll reserve my judgement for after I see her in person.”

They got off of the elevator and headed to the surgical wing. When they reached OR 11, Admiral Shepard led them into the scrub-room. The only person that Hannah knew in there was Ada, so she used the intercom to address her. “Ada, are you able to come out for a moment?”

Ada looked to see the three of them standing in the room, and looked to the doctor for affirmation. With a nod from the doctor, Ada left the OR to join them. Her surgical apron had been covered in blood, so she took it off and threw it in the bin with her gloves. She’d have to scrub in again afterwards anyway, better to not make anyone stare at it unnecessarily.

“Ada, this is Miranda Lawson. She’s the one who’s responsible for saving Jane. She’d like to go in and take a look at her cybernetics.”

“Nice to meet you. We could definitely use some help with that. I’m sure the doctor wouldn’t mind.”

“Perfect. I’ll just run a few diagnostics for now, and then try to get out of your hair as quickly as possible.”

“Okay. You’ll still have to scrub in, do you need me to show you how?”

“No, thank you. I’ve had to scrub in on many of Shepard’s procedures before.”

“Okay. Everything you need is over here, masks, hair nets, apron and gloves, you can go right in when you’re done. Just let the doctor know what you want to do before you do anything.”

“Thank you. I’ll be sure to do that,” she said as she rolled up her sleeves, and started washing her hands and arms.

Hannah drew her attention back to Ada now. “Do you have a minute? Are there any updates?”

Ada leaned against the back wall, crossing her arms against her chest as she let out a big sigh. She looked hesitant.

“It’s okay Ada. Just tell me everything. I need to know.”

“Well, we had a bit of a rough go of it at first. Her vitals were all over the place, but we finally managed to stabilize her and get her on life support before shutting down her cybernetics, so now there’s at least no risk of electrocution. It was a lot worse than we first thought though, which is hard to believe. We had to give her a cryo serum to slow all of her body’s processes in order to have enough time to work on her. It took us almost 3 hours to even get her armor off. I think you saw how charred it looked, but it turned out to be melted to her skin in some places. During that time, we were at least able to get all of the scans we needed, but it’s only given us about an hour to actually start working on her.”

“Almost her entire left leg was completely crushed. There’s nothing to work with there. She’s going to need an amputation, but it hasn’t been high on the priority list right now. That wound in her abdomen looked to be from some kind of explosion. There were some shrapnel pieces that seemed to tear up her left kidney and the bottom of her lung. They were causing a lot of bleeding, so they’re going to have to be removed too, as well as some of her intestines. That’s all stuff she can live without at least. Something must have fallen on her head pretty hard to give her that gash, because there’s a minor skull fracture, and some brain swelling. The burns probably cover about 45% of her body to varying degrees. And all of this is without the added complication of her cybernetics not functioning. You know how much she relies on that. If we can’t find a way around it, she’s going to be blind, and be living as a quadriplegic.”

Hannah just leaned against the wall next to Ada now.

They watched Miranda using her omni-tool over Shepard’s body a few times while she was talking to the doctor. At one point the doctor just stopped what she was doing and stared at Miranda, with what looked like a mouth totally agape under her mask. She had then appeared to order the rest of her team to totally change action in what they were doing. It looked like they were going to close her up.

Ada was a bit confused, “To be honest, I didn’t think you’d be taking this so well, Hannah.”

“Well, judging by what you’re saying, Miranda may have given us some amazing news about half an hour ago.”

“What’s that?”

“Jane has a clone.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“For once, I’m glad that I’m not. The clone’s been kept on life support for just this sort of thing from what I gather.”

Ada seemed to pause in thought for a moment. “Is this even ethical? That clone is still a person, is she not?”

“Well, time for ethical debate has long since passed. I don’t know that I would have agreed to them making a clone in the first place, but I can’t say that I’m upset about it right now. As for being a person, she’s brain dead already, so it’s not like anyone will be killing her to save Jane.”

“Your daughter’s reputation leads me to believe that this is all fairly typical. I can’t say that I would believe it if it were anyone else. This sounds like a good lead though.”

“Yeah, but from the sound of it, we’ll still have to figure out her cybernetics to some degree.”

“We don’t even know the whole extent of it. I’m assuming Miranda can help you with that, but from what we saw, her nervous system was entirely reliant on it. While she’s on life support, that doesn’t matter, but for her to have any kind of normal life, she will need to have that fixed.”

The main doctor was walking out of the OR now with Miranda. They both disrobed, and the doctor started to wash herself off. There were other surgeons staying with Jane now. Hannah’s suspicions seemed to be confirmed. It looked like they were just irrigating wounds and closing her up now.

“Why are you stopping your work on her?” Hannah asked the doctor as she walked through.

“Well your friend Miranda has just given me some miraculous news. If I’m to believe what she’s saying is true, we’re waiting on a clone? That will honestly be the best way forward for your daughter’s case. Miranda has assured me that everything we need is in full working condition.”

“Yes, as long as we can leave soon, I suspect we can be back here within 36 hours.”

“Time really is of the essence. I wouldn’t wait too long. With that being the case though, our best course of action is to clean all existing wounds to stave off infection. The last thing she needs now is to go into septic shock. We’ll give her a chance to stabilize a bit more. She’ll need very extensive surgeries and multiple transplants, and it probably won’t be easy on her. I’m leaving now to make sure I’m well rested, and have time to come up with a good plan of action, so we’ll be ready to go as soon as the clone gets here.”

The doctor looked over to Ada now. “Ada, are you okay to help them irrigate?”

“Yes, of course,” she said as she moved to scrub-in again.

“Okay, thank you. I know you’ve been at it longer than any of us, but everyone is a bit short handed right now. That being said, as soon as you’re done and have her in the ICU, you go get some rest too. I expect your help during the transplants.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less. I’ll be ready and waiting for your page,” she responded as she walked back into the OR, fully robed.

The doctor looked over to Hannah, “If there aren’t any more questions, I should probably be getting to work on that plan.”

“Actually, I did want to talk to you about something, Doctor…?”

“Ah, yes, sorry about that. I haven’t had a chance to introduce myself. I’m Dr. Chloe Michel. It’s nice to finally meet you, Admiral. I’m sorry it isn’t under better circumstances.”

“Thanks. There was something I was wondering about though, actually. Your reaction when you first saw Jane.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. I don’t usually have to work on friends, and to see her in such a state… well to be honest, it did stagger me for a moment.”

“You’re friends with Jane?”

“Yes, somewhat. The Commander saved me and my small practice almost 4 years ago now. We’ve kept in touch whenever possible. I’ve even done some consults with her doctor when they’ve been on the Citadel.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to ask. This isn’t going to get in the way of your performance is it?”

“I assure you, that I have your daughter’s best interest at heart. She’s saved my life more than once now. I’ll do whatever it takes to repay the favour.”

“Okay. That’s good to hear. From everything that I’ve seen, I’m inclined to believe you. How exactly did you end up on my service? You don’t seem to be military.”

“I was part of the last evacuation from the Citadel. I was picked up by one of the carriers in your fleet. They made a call asking for all specialties, and transferred me here as soon as they found out I was a doctor.”

“Well, it seems like it was lucky for us that we found you. Thank you for your hard work. I’ll let you get some rest now.”

“Thank you, Admiral.”

Hannah waited for Dr. Michel to leave before turning back to Miranda. “Was there anything useful in your scans.”

“I’m afraid not. I mostly just confirmed that the cybernetics are, in fact, malfunctioning, but we already knew that. I did find something interesting though. It seems that the malfunction might have saved her life. Potentially even a few times from my readings. There was a period of about 4 minutes that they weren’t recording any data. The only circumstances where that would occur is if the host has died. I think that the explosion that was set off from the Crucible may have killed her, but then whatever signal was sent out to kill the Reapers made them malfunction, resulting in shocking her back to life.

“Well it looks like you’re responsible for saving her life many times over now.”

“Yes, well let’s make it count shall we. As for what to do about them now…” She paused before looking towards Jacob. Up until now, he had just been following them around, and sitting in corners, mostly trying to stay out of everyone’s way. He had been quietly listening to everything going on, just waiting incase someone needed him for something. “Jacob. If you’re here, Brynn and her scientists must not be far behind.”

“Yeah, they were part of the team working on the Crucible. They’re just a few ships over.”

“Perfect. I know Brynn’s credentials. I’m sure she’ll be able to get a team together and work something out.”

“I know she’ll be happy to help if she can.”

“I’ll make sure she has full access to Jane,” Hannah replied, as she led them back out towards reception. “Call her over here as soon as you can.”

“Will do. I don’t think she’s been assigned to anything yet. I’ll call her now,” he said as he moved out to the hallway to have some privacy for his call, thankful that short range communications were still working.

As Hannah finished giving Brynn’s details to the administration desk, she turned back to Miranda. “I suppose you’re going to be leaving now?”

“Yes, as soon as I manage to get a ship.”

“I’ll arrange for that now. I’ll send Jacob with you. Thank you for everything you’re doing, Miranda. I’ve already asked so much of you, but I have one last favour to ask.”

“Admiral?”

“I haven’t told anyone this yet, but I’m going to be gone by the time you get back. You’ve already watched over people putting Jane back together once before. You’ve proven to me that you’re more than capable of it now. I have no idea how long I’ll be gone, and I need someone to help coordinate her care, and make sure people are doing their jobs. Can I trust you to do that.”

“Of course. I have to say, I’m surprised that you would be leaving at a time like this though. It must be important.”

“It is. Obviously I don’t want to go,” she said with a solemn pause. "But I have a favour I need to repay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you thought I totally glossed over how Miranda even got her hands on the clone, I didn't. The next chapter is an in between as a flashback to that, following Miranda.


	11. In Between CH 3: What Miranda Does Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Miranda came to get her hands on the clone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some gore and violence. Trigger warning for suicide.

Miranda may not have been a part of Cerberus for some time now, but she still had contacts. She knew better than to abandon old ties, and she knew which people weren’t entirely dedicated to the cause. The ones she could trust to feed her intel from the inside whenever there was a need for it.

She was grateful for that the day she had received the call about a clone. Apparently the Illusive man had been keeping things from her. Maybe he had known her better than she had known herself at the time after all, assuming that there would come a day that her conscience would finally find itself. There was a time that the thought wouldn’t have surprised her, but now it was merely disgusting. She wished she had nothing to do with the man, though if that had been the case, Jane wouldn’t even be here right now.

Miranda was also grateful for the timing of said call. Sanctuary had been dealt with, Her father was dead, Oriana was safe, so there was nothing left to do but to ensure Shepard would have the best chances possible to get through this war. That meant being at her side again, even if it wasn’t in an obvious capacity. She didn’t mind working from the shadows. It was what she did best now. It’s what anyone who had left Cerberus had learned to do best, otherwise they wouldn’t live long enough to see the next morning. Besides, Jane had her own new team to worry about now. She didn’t need to be a part of that. But there was no one to worry about Jane. Miranda would gladly play the part of guardian angel if it meant that her friend would have that much more of a chance.

And now, as she was on the Citadel, watching the _Normandy_ like a hawk during it’s mandatory repairs, she was glad she had played the part so well. She was lucky to be on the Citadel already, having followed the _Normandy’s_ every move since Horizon. (Not literally of course, for the most part. Even one in her circumstances wouldn’t have an easy time following the most advanced warship out there. But her intel was good, and spread far.)

She had watched Shepard go back to the ship early, though it wasn’t really Shepard, and that was easy to tell. This husk of a woman, clearly all aggravation and misplaced determination exuded qualities that were so obviously not Shepard. Not to mention her newfound entourage of mindless drones, and one recognizable Hope Lilium. If any of the other signs hadn’t been so blatantly obvious, that last one would have clued her in thanks to her Cerberus days.

She was too far away, and didn’t have enough people to infiltrate the _Normandy_ before they locked it down. She continued to monitor it from afar, attempting to use her cyber warfare suites, but it was all for not. Almost. Even without EDI, it was still the most advanced warship in the Milky Way. It wouldn’t be easy to do anything of real value. Whatever she had managed though, had been enough. All she needed was to delay them long enough for the real Shepard to get there, and so she had done her job.

That is, until the _Normandy_ took off, clone still on board. Miranda and her small, trusted team, hastily stole a C-Sec emergency vehicle so they would blend right in as an escort to a high security situation.

She witnessed the brawl between the pair on the loading bay ramp from afar, though her disguise in full body C-Sec armor taken from the vehicle would have kept her hidden even if Shepard had been capable of taking in her surroundings at the time. She also witnessed both of them going over the edge, holding on for dear life.

Miranda gave the order to get close enough to use her biotics should the worst happen. It was easy to tell which was the impostor. The clone, clearly not wanting to resemble anything of the real woman who had earned her title, had even chosen the wrong armor colour.

As Shepard was retrieved by her friends, Miranda could see Shepard stand with conviction and offer her hand to her paltry comparison. Miranda couldn’t help but think that sometimes Shepard was perhaps too kind, but then again, that was one of the things that she grown to love about her.

The clone had refused the help, and jumped to her death, Shepard letting her go willingly if that was truly what the clone had wanted. Miranda couldn’t help but know that she would never be as kind as Commander Shepard. But that was okay. They were different people, and this is what _she_ did best.

She quickly grabbed the clone in a stasis field, before she could make contact at terminal velocity. Perhaps there was still a chance for the clone to fulfill her intended purpose, though she hoped there would never be the need. The resource was there, though. A shame to put it to waste, should the worst happen.

But things were not so simple. The clone was still alive. Miranda may have been able to kill someone without question before, but even if she was not the same person as Shepard, Jane had still had her influence in helping develop a conscience. For now, she would keep the clone alive, and incarcerated. She had an entire dreadnought left over from her father, after all. It would be easy enough to imprison her. If circumstances and the need for the clone would change, well then, maybe.

The ride back to her dreadnought was silent and curious, studying from both sides. Clone bound in glowing cuffs at the wrists and ankles, somehow looking embarrassed and arrogant all at once. Miranda displayed nothing but confidence and intimidation.

Perhaps one of the only thing that the clone got from Shepard was her stubbornness, but when that didn’t come with a well-groomed background and a fundamental upbringing, it merely resulted in bullheadedness and overconfidence. To think that this clone was convinced in her ability to fool everyone had she been successful was mindless; again something that didn’t describe the real Shepard in the least. Miranda couldn’t help but wonder what the clone had set out to accomplish, because it certainly wouldn’t have been much, especially with the end of the war looming over them.

Miranda had escorted the clone to her new cell personally, where she continued to observe this specimen silently. Clearly the double had become more and more perturbed, starting to pace in her confinement.

“Are you just going to sit there staring at me all day?” the clone, finally said angrily breaking the silence.

“Why not? You’re currently the most interesting thing under my purview.”

“How sad for you,” she said with a huff, clearly frustrated with the situation. She had never intended to be captured. Even when given the option, death had been more agreeable to her. Miranda kept staring at her now. Not in contemplation anymore. There was nothing more to contemplate really. The clone had already exposed herself, and all that she had to offer, and at this point Miranda just kept doing it to continue aggravating her.

“I know who you are, you know. Ex Cerberus. All you do is leave one misguided cause for another. Dragged in to the cult of Shepard.”

“Cult of Shepard, hmm. How hyperbolic of you.”

“The fact that you’d even say that only shows me how far down the rabbit hole you are.”

“Mhmm. Right,” Miranda said, acting bored with the conversation as she examined her perfectly manicured nails, only to be distraught at having chipped one thanks to using her biotics earlier.

The clone just looked at her in disbelief, still pacing her cell.

“So what do you want with me then?” she grumbled out.

“To be honest, I’m not quite sure yet. I just know you’re valuable.”

“Wow, I never expected for someone like you to be able to appreciate my potential.”

“Hardly. I’m merely speaking in the sense of your parts. You’re clearly a lost cause,” Miranda said, with full composure, though even she had to admit that it sounded rather heartless. A part of her even felt bad for the clone. Her mere existence was through no fault of her own. That combined with the fact that her life had been predestined to ensure someone else’s survival. That wouldn’t be easy for any living thing to know, and certainly not something that Miranda would have ever come to terms with had she been in the same shoes. She couldn’t blame the clone for fighting her destiny, but it didn’t matter. The clone had threatened her friend. A friend who had quickly become the closest thing to a real family that Miranda had ever had outside of Oriana. She would scorch earth for that woman, and considered this to be no exception.

“So what? You’re just going to keep me in this cell?”

“Likely so. I figure I owe Shepard that much at least.”

The clone just huffed out indignantly. “What? Saving her life wasn’t enough? If you really think you owe her more, you’ve clearly been indoctrinated by her.”

“See, this is what you don’t seem to understand. There is no ‘cult of Shepard’. Shepard cares about people and her causes. She’s selfless, and has convictions so strong she’s managed to end centuries long wars. She didn’t do any of that with only her Alliance training. It’s her ability to put herself down on everyone else’s level to truly understand them and their needs. It’s easy to follow someone that truly cares about things.”

“You on the other hand…,” Miranda continued. “You’re just the self aggrandizing imitation, who cares more about your own gain. Looking like her isn’t enough,” she said, while unholstering her M-5 Phalanx, and examining it carefully.

“So what? You’re going to shoot me?”

“Something tells me, that won’t be necessary,” Miranda said, handing over the pistol to the clone.

She took it and looked at it questioningly, as though it were some kind of trick. Then she looked back at Miranda, before pointing the gun at her. Miranda maintained eye contact, entirely unfazed. Then the clone seemed to think better of the situation. Surely Miranda wouldn’t have been so stupid. She would be wearing a shield. She moved the gun up to her temple. The clone had already accepted death once before. It was the better alternative.

She looked Miranda in the eye as she pulled the trigger. Blood and brain splattered the wall and the ceiling beside them.

Without hesitation, Miranda moved rather clinically to enter the gate and slathered the entry and exit wound in medi-gel, before starting chest compressions. She messaged her team to get medical down here asap. There was no saving the clone’s life, and that hadn’t been her intention. All she needed was to stop the hemorrhaging, and maintain blood flow to ensure that organ death wouldn’t occur.

Miranda just stared at the room as her team took the clone away to stabilize her and put her into cryo. What a mess, but this was simply the repercussions of messing with Miranda’s family. She turned and walked away. There was still plenty of work needing to be done. That was what Miranda did best, after all.


	12. A Call to Action

Hannah was now witnessing Miranda and Jacob readying themselves for their trip. It had only been a few short hours since her last conversation with Miranda.

She herself had a plan to be off world, hopefully within the next day at the most, but she had to make sure everything was squared away before she left. Part of that plan was ensuring that Miranda had all of the resources she would need in order to save her daughter’s life.

She had been shocked to learn that Miranda had experience as a fighter pilot, which luckily was her only reason for even being near Earth as the war ended, taking a last minute place as a fighter in the Alliance. After witnessing the battles taking place from a distance, she was amazed that Miranda had even managed to live through it all. That act alone spoke volumes of her talents. Maybe it shouldn’t have been surprising though, with her ‘ _perfect genetics’_.

This newfound skill of Miranda’s was at least making Hannah’s job easier. This meant that all she needed to find for her was a fighter ship so she could get back to her dreadnought, which at the moment, happened to be the only type of ship that was in extremely low demand.

Hannah had been standing with Hackett, watching their departure. Being in charge of the Fifth fleet had meant that she needed his permission to get them access to a fighter. He had easily granted it to give Shepard any fighting chance. Even though Miranda wasn’t officially Alliance, she had more than proven herself during the final push. And Jacob had been with him for the last month on the Crucible project. He didn’t feel like he had anything to worry about, especially knowing their devotion to Jane. He couldn’t picture either of them leaving her in this state if they could prevent it, especially with Jacob having someone to come back to.

Hackett had only heard briefly about Jane’s condition, as there really hadn’t been time for a full debriefing, or to go see her. It was more important to get things moving. He looked over to Hannah, as she gazed at the sky, no longer being able to see the fighter. They had worked together for a while now, though not quite as closely as they had over the last few months during the Crucible project. Since then, they had become more like comrades, and even friends rather than the coworker relationship that they once had. He knew she had to be hurting right now.

“So, how is she doing? Really, I mean?”

“Oh, Steven,” she sighed, while shaking her head in resignation. This is why she wanted to keep everything moving forward. It wouldn’t give her a chance to sit down and think. To remember the state that her daughter was in. If she had something to keep her busy, it would be easier to not acknowledge how fragile Jane was at the moment, or how much of a journey she still had ahead of her. She didn’t want to admit that truth, but she knew that Steven wouldn’t leave well enough alone. He cared about Jane too, and if she didn’t tell him, he would likely be seeing her for himself soon enough. “She’s not looking good,” she stated truthfully. “I think this plan is her only chance,” she said with all the resolve she could muster.

They both stared out over the crews working. The war may have been won, but there would clearly be no rest for anyone anytime soon. It was enough to calm Hannah down so she could continue. “She’s alive, and that’s honestly more than I had expected. It will have to be enough for now.”

“True enough,” he agreed. “And Hannah, I know this plan sounds far fetched, but crazier things have happened. It may not be the most reassuring thing to hear, but Jane’s made it through worse.”

“I know.” She couldn’t deny it. But that led her to her next request. Jane’s fate was out of her hands, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have a purpose. “Admiral Hackett?”

“Uh oh, back to business already?”

“I’m afraid so. I was hoping you might be willing to do me another favour.”

“I suppose that depends on what it is.”

“I’m requesting to be granted with a ship to perform a search and rescue mission for the _Normandy_ , sir.”

“So the news of its disappearance did manage to get through to you,” Steven said. He stood there seeming to mull it over for a minute. “How would you like to take back the _Orizaba_ , Admiral?”

“The _Orizaba_? But that’s a dreadnought, sir. I was thinking something more along the lines of a frigate.”

“Yes, well there’s the caveat. I will gladly grant you permission to do this search and rescue. I think I may even have a lead for you, hopefully. However, I’m not sure if you’ve been made aware of this yet or not, but the relays have been destroyed. If you’re going to be going to such a distance to perform this task, I’m going to ask that you be doing the same for anyone else needing help along your journey. A dreadnought is large enough for you to pick up a multitude of stranded crews, as well as having larger fuel reserves. Not to mention it will leave you well protected. I wouldn’t anticipate the need to use force, however times directly after war make good conditions for piracy to run rampant. I know it’s somewhat unorthodox for an Admiral to be running a single ship, but I’m afraid that’s all I’m willing to spare at the moment.”

“And that will be more than enough, sir.”

“So, should I take that as acceptance of my terms?”

“Absolutely, sir. I’m grateful for the opportunity.”

“Alright, Hannah. I think that’s enough of this ‘sir,’ bullshit. How about you follow me into the war room so we can discuss this plan of action?”

Admiral Hackett lead the way to his war room, where he brought up the galaxy map, zooming in to a smaller area around their location.

“So the good news is that the _Normandy_ was one of the ships that we had been tracking before the Crucible went off. I’m pretty sure you have an idea that the bad news is when it did go off, it made all of our tech go haywire, so we lost the signal.”

She just nodded in acknowledgement. Their own ship had experienced fluctuations in almost all of their systems. This didn’t exactly come as a surprise. It was better than having nothing to go on after all.

“Now, I would have said that you were jumping the gun wanting to run a search and rescue mission right off the bat, because these tech fluctuations are likely responsible for our comm’s being down. It’s entirely reasonable to think that we simply just can’t get in touch with the _Normandy_ thanks to whatever the Crucible did. But the truth is, I do have some reason for concern. When the blast from the Crucible hit us, it didn’t leave us with any lasting damage, but we also weren’t in the midst of being shot between relays at the time. From our readings, it looked like the blast being shot through the relays was more focused and stronger in force than what hit us. From our estimates, we don’t expect that it would have been enough to destroy the _Normandy,_ but it may have had worse affects than what we received, not to mention that they would have been shot out of the relays course whenever the blast did reach up to them, and if their systems were down in the middle of that, it might have been difficult for them to navigate properly.”

Hannah was just listening intently. It wasn’t the most hopeful news, but it was Jane’s crew after all. They would have been prepared for anything, not to mention they were in the Alliance’s best frigate. The _Normandy_ was probably the most capable ship for surviving something like this.

“So, that leads me to what signal we did manage to track. My team lost them as they were heading towards the Exodus Cluster. It’s possible that they got spat out there, but it’s more likely that we lost their signal before they were actually hit with the blast. My team estimates that at their speed and the likely speed of the beam, they were more likely to end up in the Horse Head Nebula or even possibly the Annos Basin, but not further than that.”

“Hopefully it wasn’t the Horse Head Nebula, because there’s nothing there to sustain them if they’re stranded. At least in the Exodus Cluster, there’s Terra Nova, and Eden Prime, or Sur’Kesh in the Annos Basin. However if you’re on your way out this quickly, hopefully they won’t have to rely on sustaining themselves anyway.”

“Without the relays working, making it all the way to the Annos Basin should take you just a little over four weeks at FTL speeds. Our comms are down, but local ranges seem to be working fine. I’ll get you some of the best Comm Specialists we have at the moment, so they can make sure you don’t miss anything. Other than that I’m only going to authorize slightly more than a skeleton crew. With resources being low, and our trade routes being cut off, we don’t want to have any more expenditures than necessary. Plus, this will allow you for more room to pick up any rescues.”

“So, as for your assignment. It will be multi-faceted, I’m afraid. I don’t want you to have to be away from Earth for longer than necessary, especially with Jane stuck here and in her state. However, not to sound callous, but this also isn’t the time to only be thinking of ourselves. In order for me to approve this, I need you to confirm that you are at least able to fulfill a search up to Sur’Kesh whether you find the _Normandy_ before that or not. This will allow you to do a large scale relocation of refugees stuck here from other systems, as well as disperse supplies to other colonies up until that point. This is on top of your original mission of search and rescue of any of our allied forces, or anyone that could be considered a stranded refugee, within your means. I won’t make you go any further than the Annos Basin though, so that would mean that you should only be gone around two and a half months, hopefully allowing you to be back to see Jane awake and ready for action again.”

“One can only hope,” she replied. “And hopefully leaving her will all be worthwhile having someone to bring back to her.”

“Yes, one can only hope,” Hackett repeated her own words.

“Thanks again, Steven.”

“Don’t mention it. You’re doing me a favour with this too, Hannah. I wouldn’t have normally sent an Admiral on a mission like this, but I can understand your reasoning for wanting to do it.”

She just nodded, and smiled.

“Yes, well anyway. I won’t be holding you up any longer. I’m going to give you 24 hours to report to the _Orizaba,_ and make sure that everything’s in ship-shape for your trip. Since we’re looking at relocating so many civilians, I’m going to give you 72 hours until departure.”

Hackett moved in to give her a small hug, one of his very seldom acts of showing his humanity in front of his crew.

“And don’t worry, Hannah. I’ll keep an eye on her, and the team looking after her. I don’t know what communications will be like, but we’ll try to keep you as updated as possible in terms of her progress.”

“I appreciate it. I trust you to do anything you can for her.”

“Not only for you, but she is the savior of the galaxy now after all. I can’t very well let her down after that.”

“Ha. I guess that’s true, however I doubt she’d appreciate being called that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

She smiled at him. “Well, I have a lot of things to get in order before I leave. I should really go prepare.”

“Of course. I wish you luck on your journey, Hannah.”

“Hopefully I won’t need it, but thank you, Steven,” she said as she walked out.

24 hours wasn’t a lot of time to get ready, though she was thankful for it. She didn’t want to be wasting any more time than was necessary. Both for her best chance at finding the _Normandy_ and to ensure that she wasn’t away from Jane longer than she had to be. First thing on her list though was talking to Ada. Especially now that she had the full details on the _Normandy_ , and a plan of action to find it.

She made her way back onto the medical ship, and was headed up to the surgical floor, towards Jane’s operating room. She didn’t have to go far though, as the elevator doors were opening, she saw Ada waiting for them.

“Ah, there you are. That was good timing, I suppose. I was hoping to find you before I got some sleep,” Ada said.

“I know you’ve been up for a long time now, what’s it been? 30 hours at least?”

“I honestly don’t know anymore. At least I’ve been flooded with adrenaline rushes to help keep me awake.”

“Well that’s good, and I really don’t want to keep you from sleep longer than you have to, but I was hoping you’d have time to take my blood now, maybe while we have a debriefing.”

“Oh, that’s right. I had forgotten about that. It would be a good idea though. We’re running low with the vats still malfunctioning, and we already had to use a lot on Jane. Is it really that urgent though?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Alright. That’s all the information I really need. Just follow me over to the lab area then. They should have all of the equipment I need.”

“Okay, so Is Jane’s surgery done, or were you just trying to get some rest?”

“No, we managed to finish. Well, the one to stabilize her at least. We’ve done as much for her as we can for now. We’re just waiting for Miranda to get back at this point.”

“Is she okay?”

“As okay as she possibly can be. We’ve managed to shut down her cybernetics, and put her on a modified system of partial cryo stasis, and life support. Full cryo would have been her best option if she didn’t have brain swelling, because it would help preserve everything we can. What muscles she does have won’t atrophy, and the more serious injuries that we can’t deal with yet, won’t get worse. It would have bypassed any need for life support all together. But the only thing that we can do for the brain swelling is give her time to heal naturally, and Cryo wouldn’t allow her to do that. All in all, I think we’ve figured out a good plan for now. We’ll probably just have to take it day by day, and see how successful her next few surgeries will be.”

Hannah let out a sigh. “Well, I guess that’s about as good as I could have hoped for.”

They had made it into the lab, and Ada directed Hannah to sit down in one of the special chairs, as she prepared her equipment.

“Have you had anything to eat recently?”

Hannah checked her omni-tool, not realising how quickly the time had been passing. “It has been a while.”

“Hmm… well, here have these cookies. You’ll probably be fine,” she said with a laugh.

“I’m not going to say no to being told to eat junk food by a healthcare professional, but should I be worried?”

“Probably not. The worst that would happen is that you’d probably pass out, but I’ll be right here the whole time. Just let me know if you feel light headed. And when you’re done I’ll let you have a couple more,” she said with a smile.

“But before we go ahead, I have to make sure you’re in good enough condition to donate. I’ll just run a quick scan to make sure your temperature, pulse and iron levels are within acceptable levels. If those were off, then I’d be more worried.”

“Okay, that’s fine.”

She quickly ran the scan. “Everything looks fine. Any risky sexual behavior?” she asked with a sideways glance. “I promise that’s something we need to know before giving your blood to anyone, even if we are reserving it for your daughter.”

Hannah laughed out loud. “None to speak of, unfortunately. Thanks for the laugh, though.”

“I guess we’re just two peas in a pod then,” she said with a sigh.

Hannah knew that Ada was just trying to joke around, but she couldn’t help but feel a certain state of solemnity settle around them. She hadn’t had a chance to address it before, but figured now was the time. “I am sorry about your husband, Ada.”

“Thanks. It’s been difficult. Ethan and I haven’t been apart ever since Kaidan came back from BAaT training. It was something we both felt so guilty about that when Kaidan was being sent home, we made sure we were a strong unit for him to come home to. We needed to show him that if nothing else, we would be his safe place where no one would judge him. That was almost twenty years ago now. Kaidan even left home more than ten years ago now, but by that point, we were old souls not wanting to be separated.”

“I do feel like I have to thank you though,” Ada continued as she started the process of taking Hannah’s blood. “If it weren’t for you finding me and giving me something to direct my grief towards, I almost fear what may have happened if I had stayed on Earth. The pain was so intense after I got the news. I mean, he was quite literally my other half. How do you go on living with such an important part of you missing? Of course, you just have to. Life goes on, but that doesn’t mean that actually living through it was easy.”

“Especially with Earth being in the state that it was when I got the news. I was already struggling to try to figure out how to live in a war zone. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t really have anyone. Almost all of our family was gone already from before the war. It was just so overwhelming and it would have been easy to let it all get the better of me, you know?”

Hannah just nodded, making sure to listen to Ada. It was still easy to remember her own grief more than twenty years later, and she hadn’t been in the middle of a war at the time.

“But I constantly kept thinking of Kaidan being out there fighting, and it was the only thing really keeping me going. Knowing that he was out there being strong for everyone else, I figured I had to be strong for him. And then he called me with the news that he had gotten married. What a shock that had been. Don’t get me wrong, it was a good one. But I guess it gave me a little bit of hope too. And that’s when you sent that soldier to come escort me to report to your medical detail. That truly helped so much, but look at me… I’m just rambling now.”

Ada went to remove the needle from Hannah’s arm as the blood collection was complete. She handed her another packet of cookies, and some juice.

“Don’t worry about it, Ada,” she said as she pressed down on the area where the needle was with some cotton. “I’ve been there. It’s still hard sometimes, even twenty odd years later. And besides, we’re family now too. I’m here for you. If you ever need to talk about it, don’t hesitate. It’ll probably hit a bit harder when you get into a bit of a lull. Finding a purpose on your own is a big change, but it does really help. I also used work to get me through it. That and Jane. It doesn’t ever make it go away entirely though.”

“No. Of course not. But I can certainly understand what you mean. And thank you Hannah. I’ll keep that in mind. I’m so glad our children found each other.”

Hannah smiled genuinely and nodded, agreeing entirely with the sentiment.

“So… am I allowed to ask what the rush is?”

Hannah let out a sigh. “Yes. Actually it’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. I only just received the full details finally though, so forgive me for keeping this from you.”

“Uh oh. You’re making it sound serious.”

“I’ve gotten word on the _Normandy_.”

“Oh?” she asked curiously, with a tinge of worry. She had gauged that Hannah didn’t seem too distressed, which was the only thing keeping her from utter panic.

“Yes. You should know that they have been declared MIA, but not all of the news is bad. We have a lot of leads, and with the data we have, they can’t have gotten too far out. It very well could simply be that our communications are down and we aren’t able to hail them. They may be headed back to Earth as we speak. We simply don’t know. In the off chance that they are in need of help, though, I will be leading a search and rescue mission.”

“Oh, god, Hannah,” she said, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. Tears clearly threatening to start streaking.

“I know none of that sounds very good, but please don’t worry too much yet. We don’t have any reason to believe that anything truly bad has happened to them, but there is a chance that they may be stranded, which is why I’m leaving. I’m going to make sure I do everything in my power to get your son back to you, okay?”

Ada just nodded for a moment, collecting herself. “Yes. Thank you, Hannah. But are you sure? Can’t they send someone else? I would never ask you to leave Jane while she’s in this condition.”

“I’m sure they could send someone else, but to be honest, if I stay here I’m sure that I would be of no use to anyone. My thoughts of Jane have already been threatening to consume me. It’s very much like how you described your grief on Earth. But the truth is, there’s no reason for me to be grieving. I have all the hope in the universe that Jane will come out of this okay, but I simply can’t do anything for her here. The one thing I can do, is go find her husband for her. It helps that I’ll also be helping repay you for saving Jane if I manage to find him.”

“You know that I would never ask you to do that, right? You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know. And you may believe that I don’t owe you anything, but the truth is that I owe you everything. I’m certain that Jane would already be gone if it weren’t for you. This is the only way that I will ever even be close to being able to repay you for that.”

“Well, I appreciate it, Hannah. But I didn’t try to rescue her just to be owed something. I care about her now too.”

“I know. In the same way that I care about Kaidan. I’m doing this for him too. And for Jane. Even for myself.”

“Well I clearly won’t be able to talk you out of it then.”

“Absolutely not,” Hannah said with a stubborn smile. “But part of the reason I’m even okay with leaving is because you’ll be here to look after her. I at least know she’s not alone, and that she’ll be well taken care of.”

“Of course. I’ll be there for her, for whatever she needs.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” she said finally standing up. “I’ll be leaving tomorrow.”

“Already?”

“Yes. Time is of the essence right now, with the relays being out of commission.”

“Oh my. I think you may have left that part out.”

“Ah, yes. Sorry about that. I’m afraid that does mean I will likely be gone for some time. We don’t expect it to take any longer than three months, though.”

Ada nodded, before pulling Hannah in to a hug. “Thank you. I know you’re not only doing this for me, but still. Thank you.”

“Of course, Ada.”

Hannah moved to walk out the door. “I don’t think I’ll get a chance to see you again before I leave, so let me just say thank you for being there. Thank you for looking after my baby. I promise I won’t be gone longer than I have to.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to. Good luck, Hannah.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you soon,” she said before exiting the lab.

She only had one last stop now before getting all of her things and leaving for the _Orizaba_. She took the elevator back up to the surgical floor, where there was also an ICU. Jane would surely be there now. If she was going to be gone for so long, she had to say goodbye whether or not Jane could hear her.

She spotted Jane as soon as she got to the doorway. There were a few other patients, but none under such a cumbersome pile of equipment. As Hannah approached her, she could see that she was all cleaned off now, which in some ways at least made her look better than the last time she had seen her.

She was however, looking very pale, and her face had become very bruised and swollen. The hair from the front of the right side of her head had been shaved off to clean and close the wound that she had there. There was also a small tube next to the stitched up wound draining extra fluid from around her brain, trying to help with the swelling. What hair she did have left was all singed at the ends, and shorter than it was during their last conversation. Remembering the gaping wound in Jane’s abdomen suddenly made her glad that there was a modified cryopod covering Jane's entire lower half starting at the bottom of her rib cage. Both of her arms were in specialised 3D printed casts, her left one covering her entire arm.

It made Hannah upset to think that her daughter always seemed to have to be the one sacrificing everything for the good of the galaxy. A galaxy that always seemed to laugh in her face. And despite all of the doubt and hardships spewed at her, she never wavered from her path, and was willing to give all of herself for the betterment of everyone else.

As she looked down at Jane, and held her hand gently, she was filled with an incredible sense of pride. It was truly a privilege to be able to call Jane her daughter. She caught herself becoming emotional. She blinked the tears away and cleared her throat, before looking back down.

“Jane? It’s mom. I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but I’m right here with you. I want you to know how proud I am of you. I think you may know this already, but the _Normandy_ ’s missing. I’m going to go looking for it. I’m going to find him, sweetie. I promise I’ll do everything I can for him, and I’ll be back as soon as I can. I love you so much,” she said, while squeezing her hand on last time, wishing more than anything to just be able to hug her. It would have to be enough for now though. She would just have to keep that as her goal to come home to.


	13. Out of the Ashes

**_1 Day Post Shepard’s Recovery from the Citadel:_ **

Shepard’s vitals had been fluctuating ever since Ada had been monitoring her. Dr. Michel had given her a cryo serum before even opening her up to try to slow down all of her body’s processes in order to make sure she wouldn’t bleed out before even making it to the OR. That had been one thing in the long line of many leading to the fact that she was even alive right now.

Alive, but currently open on Dr. Michel’s operating table. Chloe trying desperately to even stabilize what most would have considered a lost cause at this point. However bad things may have been, the point was that Jane was still alive. She was clinging to life beyond all reason. Who was Chloe to just give up if Shepard herself wasn’t willing to. For as long as Shepard was going to put up a good fight, she would too. Things may have been looking bleak, but they were better than a day ago. That was enough for her.

 

**_2 Days Post Shepard’s Recovery:_ **

Jane had been out of surgery for a few hours at this point. Dr. Michel was busy meticulously scheduling how the next week would be going. Then coming up with a plan B, C and D because things were very likely not going to go as smoothly as everyone was hoping. This meant that Jane was barely anything more than blips and numbers on a screen to the doctors for the time being, which also meant this was the perfect time for Brynn to be introduced into the game plan.

Brynn had easily come to confirm Miranda's previous readings. The Cybernetics were undoubtedly malfunctioning, and were well beyond repair. She quickly added a note to Shepard’s chart marking off which ones were accessible and easily able to be removed, because at the very least, she wouldn’t need them in this state, and at the most, they could even harm her. If some had to remain dormant in Jane’s body, it wouldn’t make much difference as long as they weren’t able to become active.

She had taken extremely in-depth scans of everything since Miranda didn’t have any easy access to old records. Those would act as their blueprints and something to strive towards, though with resources likely going to be hard to come by, they wouldn’t be able to reach anything quite like what Jane had become accustomed to. As luck would have it, if the clone would turn out to be everything that they had hoped for, they wouldn’t need most of what Shepard had been relying on anyway.

This is where Brynn departed, already setting out the groundwork for her own plans A, B, C and D in her head. In this case, she was hopeful that they would, in fact, only be needing plan A, but she wasn’t about to be unprepared. Time would tell.

 

**_3 Days Post Shepard’s Recovery:_ **

Shepard was now being prepared to have her second surgery. This one would be to remove all of her damaged organs that would cause internal bleeding any time she wasn’t in a medically induced cryo state. This one would be vital for her to not be reliant on cryo stasis in order to live, and the only reason they had waited this long was to let her brain swelling decrease before putting her through more trauma.

Luckily all of the organs needing to be removed were all non-vital, which meant she would be able to live without them until her clones organs would be ready for transfer. Even though she could technically live without them, it would still be beneficial to replace all of the organs removed, otherwise it would put unnecessary strain on her body and make recovery all that more difficult. With everything coming from a clone, there would be no risk of rejecting the organs anyway, so there was hardly any added risk to go through with it.

This was also the day they added muscle retaining meds to her regimen. They already knew that she was going to be unconscious for a significant amount of time, and they wanted to make sure her muscles atrophied as little as possible. The standard meds that the Alliance had access too weren’t quite as effective as what Miranda had during the Lazarus Project. Those had been capable of keeping Shepard’s muscles at 95% in tact after two years of no use, but that’s also something that 4 Billion Credits will get you. Not so much when it comes to taxpayer money on a budget. If they could manage to save anything, it would be nothing but beneficial.

 

**_5 Days Post Shepard’s Recovery:_ **

Jane was currently being wheeled back to the ICU after her third surgery, which was to amputate her leg. This one also happened to be after the clone had been recovered. She had been in pristine condition, just as Miranda had promised. Shepard was technically able to live without being put back into cryo anymore, but they had still put her back into it immediately after her previous surgery because they hadn’t been capable of amputating at the time, and they didn’t want to risk it becoming gangrenous before they could tend to it.

That being said, they didn’t want to rely on putting Shepard into cryo more often than was absolutely necessary. In order for Jane to start the recovery process, she would have to stay out of cryo. At the end of the day, replacing a bad leg was not high on the priority list as far as everything that was wrong with her, but this would be the last surgery she needed in order for her to be capable of living without any risks of not being in cryo anymore, which is why they had opted to do this before anything else.

Since her clone had already returned, they were able to attach the new leg at the same time. This would give the nerves the best chance at healing properly, allowing her to hopefully have a fully functional leg. This, however would also be something that Shepard would need cybernetics for, as her nervous system was entirely reliant on them. It was the one thing a clone couldn’t fix.

 

**_8 Days Post Shepard’s Recovery:_ **

Shepard had once again adorned Dr. Michel’s operating table. This would be the fourth time in just over a week, and it would also be the longest. They were currently 18 hours into an estimated 30 hour surgery. Dr. Michel had scheduled a team of 3 shifts, not only to deal with the length of the endeavor, but so they could also have appropriate specialists taking over where they were better suited.

Dr. Michel was part of the first team of doctors and nurses, and she had already given Jane a new kidney and lung. She had gotten the best Cardiologist on the planet to come and do a heart transplant thanks to all of the trauma it had received while the Cybernetics had been malfunctioning. Her heart was technically still working, but it had shown enough signs of stress for the doctors to know that this would be inevitable at some point. Better to do it now while they had an exact DNA match. This was the part that they were currently in the process of finishing.

The next part of this surgery would be to transplant skin to all of the areas of Shepard’s body that had severe burns, for which she would be helping the Plastic Surgeon that had been evacuated with her from the Citadel. They could have opted to do scar healing treatment, but with how extensive the burns were, it would take an extremely long time to complete.

That would also mean that Jane would have a severe amount of pain, which on top of how bad that is in itself, it would have hindered her ability to heal, making an outright transplant an easy option. The surgery in itself would leave Shepard with a lot of new scars that she could get the treatment on afterwards, but instead of covering 45% of her body, they would now only cover about 8%. It was an acceptable trade off. 

  
  


**_22 Days Post Shepard’s Recovery:_ **

At this point Shepard had been recovering well. She was almost at the point where her pain could be manageable with conventional medication, which meant that they would be looking into getting her out of her coma soon. That was until Brynn had called Miranda over to view their progress. Miranda hadn’t expecting progress to mean completion.

Luckily, Brynn had been one of the top minds for something like this, and she had an incredible team. They hadn’t had to do much in terms of coming up with something thanks to Shepard already housing the perfect set of blueprints. It had merely taken some time to come up with something similar enough that would work with the resources they had.

She had managed to come up with something that would sit on the brainstem that would ignite the nervous system that was already in place. This is what would give Shepard her ability to move and have full feeling again. It wasn’t quite as good as what Shepard had before though, because this one would require time to learn Jane’s brain patterns and what specific signals were used to move specific parts of her body. It would have a bit of a learning curve, but would be stable after picking everything up.

The manufacturing process had already been completed for 15 days. Since then it had gone through rigorous testing, debugging, retesting, and a complete proofreading of code by every one of her expendable team members. It had been good to go for 2 days before she called Miranda in, but with how delicate the hardware and software was, and for the purpose of what it would be doing, they needed to be sure before they approved it.

They had only managed to have it completed this quickly thanks to the fact that Miranda had selfishly insisted that Brynn keep her entire team of 50 people to dedicate solely to this one purpose. In the end it wouldn’t be wasted time or knowledge, because this could go on to become a standard treatment for anyone with severe enough nerve damage.

Because things were moving ahead to the next step, Brynn had finally dismissed everyone except the two other main people from her team just in case anything should go wrong. Miranda had let her do so, if only to know that Shepard would be disgusted with how many resources were being burned on her. Luckily she was still unconscious, so she didn’t get to have any say. This is what Miranda excelled at after all, so she was going to do it the way she knew how, even if she knew Jane might be upset with her after the fact. If it's what she had to do to get her friend back, then she would do it.

They had a Neurologist on standby for whenever Brynn’s team would be finished. No one had been expecting it to be so soon, but they had managed to schedule the procedure for the next day. This would be the last surgery that Jane would need.

 

**_24 Days Post Shepard’s Recovery:_ **

It was one day after Jane’s cybernetic surgery. They had given it a day to set in and have it try to learn on its own, but now they had to see if it was working. Since Shepard was still in a coma they couldn’t just ask her if she could move. Everyone agreed that it was probably better this way, but it did add a level of complication to everything.

Brynn and the Neurologist had both set up monitoring stations as Dr. Michel went through basic reflexive tests. Each one had taken a few tries before registering, but they all did. Just as Brynn had promised, it was slow, but it was learning. Shepard would move again. Even if it did mean she’d have to work for it a bit.

 

**_28 Days Post Shepard’s Recovery:_ **

All of her superficial wounds had mostly healed by this point. Her bruising had come down to a slight tinge of yellow instead of the disconcerting black and blue that they had once been. Her broken arms had fully healed, and her casts had been removed. Not much was left at this point.

 

**_30 Days Post Shepard’s Recovery:_ **

Shepard had finally been recovered enough to the point that she wouldn’t be in too much pain if she were awake. At this point her recovery would go a lot smoother if she could be up and moving. Ada had just taken her off of all of the sedatives. Now all that was left was for her to wake up. There was no way to know if or when that would happen.

 

**_31 Days Post Shepard’s Recovery:_ **

Shepard opened her eyes. Of course it hadn’t taken long. Always the go-getter.

The room was blinding. She was trying to blink away the pain, but no matter how hard she tried, it was just too harsh. Intuitively, she could tell that the lights had been dimmed to a low comfortable glow, but that didn’t change the fact that it hurt. That was the first alarm bell to go off, because that must have meant that she hadn’t opened her eyes in a long time. She remembered feeling the same way exactly one other time in her life. At least this time, it didn’t seem like she was about to be thrust into battle immediately after.

The room was empty, and mostly calm except for a dark figure standing over her now, which was her only refuge from the blazing orange glow directly above her bed. It must have been yelling, because she could hear noises, but it was all a distant, garbled mess beyond the ringing in her ears. As hard as she tried, she just couldn’t make any sense of it.

Her memories started to slowly come back to her, and she remembered the gaping wound in her side. She immediately tried to move her arm to it to assess the damage. Her arm was cooperating, but it was definitely sluggish and weird. Almost like her brain had told her arm to move ten times in the amount of time that it actually took to do it. That was hugely disconcerting in itself, and this flood of new information was starting to be too much. She could feel herself start to panic. She tried to steady her breathing and focus on one thing to calm her. A technique taught by the Alliance to clear her mind in the midst of chaos. The ringing subsided, and that’s when she heard it. A steady blip that was increasingly becoming more urgent.

Her heart rate. Things were confusing, and a mess, but she was alive. That was enough to ground her and quell the insurmountable dread that had threatened to consume her mere seconds ago.

Other people started flooding into the room, and the previous figure had never left her side. As the new visitors came in, one of them had turned off the lights, clearly seeing how much Shepard had been straining. With the lower light levels, she was able to focus, and pick out more detail. She quickly noticed that the two new faces were familiar, one of which was definitely adding to the deja-vu of the whole situation. Miranda had quickly grabbed her hand, somehow knowing that she would have appreciated something to anchor her in the situation. The other one was Dr. Michel, quickly studying screens, and readouts. The pair was more than welcome at this moment, though they weren’t who she would have hoped for.

The one that had been sitting at her side, she didn’t know. She was crying and clearly overwrought with emotion. It was strange. Was she supposed to know her? Was there something wrong with her memory? This woman was definitely unfamiliar, but also somehow not. Striking black hair, with a defined grey streak at the front. It was the eyes that finally did it. Cinnamon and intense, just like the ones this woman had passed down.

Now Jane could see her clearly. This was Kaidan’s mother. He had shown her a few pictures during the war, but in their haste to leave Earth, Kaidan hadn’t been left with many. Just whatever happened to be on his omni-tool at the time. Of course the pictures he had would have been of the ‘primed and proper with a half forced smile’ version of Ada Alenko. It had been easy to miss at first glance because this was the genuine, disheveled, sadly elated Ada Alenko. Jane couldn’t help but prefer this version of her. Though she hated that on their first real meeting she was already responsible for making the woman cry.

“Shepard? Can you hear me,” Miranda asked.

She figured it must not have been the first time that Miranda had asked, because as she turned her head to acknowledge the question, she seemed to be happy at the response.

Jane tried to open her mouth and say something. She didn’t even know what at this point, just anything at all, but nothing more than a strangled raspy syllable came out before she broke out into a cough that pained her whole body.

“It’s okay, Shepard. You shouldn’t try to talk. Your vocal cords have gone unused for nearly a month now. It will probably take a few days before you can speak normally without a sore throat.”

A month? That was it? She was afraid that it might have been years again.

Dr. Michel handed Miranda a cup of water with a straw in it to give to Jane.

“This will probably hurt like hell going down, but it’s an important part of the healing process.”

Jane didn’t care about the pain, and took a few slow sips. Eager to take any steps forward.

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions, but for now you should try to take it easy, okay. We have plenty of time to go over everything after you’ve had a chance to rest and recuperate.”

That sounded like a mostly fine idea to Jane. Even though she just woke up she was already exhausted. She could already feel like recovery was going to be a process, but there was one thing she needed to know.

“Rea--,” she tried to say before coughing again. She cleared her throat, and forced out, “Reapers?” desperately needing an answer.

Miranda tightened her grip on the hand she had been holding. “You did it, Jane. You destroyed the Reapers. They’re all dead.”

Miranda was right. She did have a million other questions, but for now that was enough. The nightmare was over. She nodded a few times, truly trying to accept what she had heard. She couldn’t hold back the tears with the utter relief that Miranda’s words had provided. They had done it. They would live.  _ She _ would live.


	14. Sur'Kesh

It had been slightly more than one month since Hannah had left Earth. She had lost contact with them after a week into her journey. That was better than expected however, with the comm buoys being down. The only reason that she was even able to get a signal from Earth that far out is because it was a main hub not only for humanity at the moment, but for any soldiers of varying species left from the final push, making it one of the most vital areas to rehabilitate quickly.

Her last contact with them had held some hope. Miranda had already been back on Earth for five days at that point, and everything seemed to have been on track. Jane had already undergone two more surgeries, and her brain swelling had started to improve, but she was being kept in a medically induced coma until all of her major surgeries would be complete, and the healing process could begin.

The first few days of being in the dark were the hardest for Hannah, especially knowing the full gravity of Jane’s situation. Jane’s next surgery would have been pivotal to her recovery, and there would be no way for Hannah to know how successful it was until her tour was almost over, and back within Earth’s range again. Knowing this, as well as the fact that they were in an extremely uneventful part of their trip meant that Hannah had a lot of down time to stew with her thoughts.

That first night, as soon as her duties had been fulfilled, she had gone to her cabin to cry, fully regretting her decision to run out on Jane, especially so quickly. She had to constantly remind herself that she was out here for Jane, knowing that  _ when _ she were to wake up, knowing that Kaidan and her crew were missing would only add stress, worry, and guilt to what would already be her turbulent recovery. She constantly forced herself to maintain the notion that she was doing this for her daughter, and that she would be useless doing anything else. As hard as it was, this was truly where she was meant to be, and she knew that with all of her being.

Having been more than a month into her mission, it was now almost half over, and she was nearing her final destination. Everything had gone smoothly and she was completely on schedule if not slightly ahead of it. She had not yet found the  _ Normandy _ , however, which was somewhat disheartening.

She had already successfully dropped off a large amount of refugees both at Terra Nova and Eden Prime. Eden Prime was left relatively untouched due to the fact that the planet had recently been ravaged by Cerberus leaving it next to unpopulated. This meant that it was almost the most ideal place for people to start a new life. It didn’t require much rebuilding, and it already had somewhat of an infrastructure set up.

Terra Nova was a different story. Most of the refugees choosing to go there were hoping to find lost family members or friends. Either that, or people who had already lost everything, and were hoping to find a purpose in helping clear the rubble and rebuild somewhere other than Earth. Terra Nova had held more than a 3rd of what Earth’s population once was at the beginning of the war, making it a big target for the Reapers, which meant that they only fared slightly better than Earth had. So with the refugees, she had also left most of the survival supplies with them as well.

The  _ Orizaba _ had also successfully stopped at the Horse Head Nebula. She made sure to do a thorough sweep of every system in the cluster without wasting too much time. She knew for a fact that their local range communications were working because in two different systems, they managed to rescue two stranded ships that hadn’t had enough fuel thanks to not expecting the relays to have been destroyed. Hannah was confident that had the  _ Normandy’s _ comms still been functional, they would have had no problem finding them, leading her to believe that they weren’t there.

She was willing to reconsider that thought on her way back to Earth if they finished their search in the Annos Basin without finding the  _ Normandy _ . They still had Sur’Kesh to hope for, and was their last main stop before heading back aside from a comms sweep through the rest of the cluster just to make sure they weren’t missing anyone.

They were a little more than an hour away from their current destination. Hannah’s hope had begun to dwindle, though she never would have shown it. They had picked up multiple low level S.O.S signals, mostly looking for information. Nothing giving off an Alliance signature. Either way, they needed to dock, and being Sur’Kesh, she was sure their communications must have been set up by now. Hannah had moved up to the cockpit, where they were attempting to ping their Aviation unit. It hadn’t taken long at all to get a response.

_ ::This is Sur’Kesh Aviation. Requesting identification, and intentions. Please respond.:: _

“This is Admiral Hannah Shepard of the Alliance Fifth Fleet. We’re here as part of a relief effort, and have some Sur’Kesh citizens aboard, excited to be back home. We’re requesting orbital space for the dreadnought  _ Orizaba _ , and somewhere to dock some of our shuttles, and our supply carrier, ETA 45 minutes.”

_ ::Happy to hear it, Admiral. Request granted. We’ll send you coordinates to our military base so you can talk with our leaders. You’ll be happy to know that we have a few of yours with us as well. Refugees from a shipwreck.:: _

“Thank you, that’s terrific news. We’ll be seeing you shortly.  _ Orizaba _ out.”

Could it be? This was the closest she had heard to anything even remotely sounding like it could have been the  _ Normandy _ crew. She wasn’t willing to get too excited yet. Even if it was them, he had said shipwreck. Who knows what that could have meant. She would find out for herself soon enough.

It had taken them 45 minutes to situate themselves in orbit around Sur’Kesh. Another 20 to arrange everyone onto the shuttles, and another 5 to land at their destination, Admiral Shepard leading the envoy.

As they landed, an armor clad Salarian came to greet her.

“Admiral Shepard? I’m Colonel Vaykom, and this is my unit. They’re her to help unload supplies, and escort our people.”

“Thank you, I’m sure my people will appreciate the help.”

“Not at all Admiral. Now, if you’ll follow me, I’m here to bring you to Admiral Azoni. He’s eager to get some information from you. We’ve been pretty in the dark here for a while.”

“I can certainly understand that. That is part of the reason we’re here, with the communications being down, I’m also here to deliver information.”

“He’ll be glad to hear it.”

“Of course, but if it’s not too much trouble, could I ask you something first. Your aviation department had told me that there are Alliance refugees here. I’m sorry, but I have to know… Was it the  _ Normandy _ ?”

“Why yes, in fact it was. I’m surprised you managed to get that.”

“Oh thank god! You have no idea how much of a relief it is to hear that. I’ve been part of a search and rescue mission for them this whole time. Listen, I have one more request if it isn’t too much.”

“Of course, you’re here with aid, and some of our people. The least we could do is listen to a request.”

“I had family aboard the  _ Normandy _ . I’m more than willing to speak to your Admiral, Ambassadors, politicians, whoever, you name it, but if it wouldn't be too much trouble, I would very much like to see my people before any of that.”

“Oh, yes. Absolutely. If we had known that you had a family connection I would have offered right away. My apologies. They’ve all been arranged in one of our meeting rooms just over here,” he said, with his arm out to guide the way.

As they walked, Hannah had developed a newfound sense of determination and eagerness. This was what would make the trip worthwhile. And then a thought occurred to her. She hadn’t even asked about casualties in her haste. She was about to find out for herself though, as they had already reached their destination with Vaykom pointing towards a door.

“The crew is in here awaiting orders on how to proceed. I’ll just wait out here to give you some privacy, and send a message to the Admiral.”

“Thank you, Colonel. If I need some privacy with my son, is there somewhere we can go?”

Vaykom quickly checked the room across the hall to make sure it was empty. “Yes, this room is available. I’ll leave you to it, Ma’am.”

Hannah nodded her thanks. She stood before the door for a moment, steeling herself for whatever was waiting for her on the other side. She took in a deep breath before activating it and walking through.

The room quickly became silent, and all eyes were on her. She had recognized a few of them. All of the non human crew. They had all served with Jane before and she had seen them at her memorial service. Most of the human crew, she hadn’t recognized, as she quickly scanned the faces in the room for the one person she was looking for. There were a lot of people here. At the very least, minimal casualties. That was a good sign. Then she saw him. Recognition adorning his features, accompanied by a significant amount of worry.

She figured that seeing her here instead of his wife was probably setting off alarm bells, and she didn’t want to do the same for any of the crew who didn’t know her already, so she had already decided to leave her last name out of it for now.

“Hello,  _ Normandy _ crew. We’ve been looking for you for a while now, and it’s amazing to finally see you all. I’m Admiral Hannah of the fifth fleet, here to take you home. I applaud all of your efforts and hard work in being able to make it this far and sustain yourselves in the midst of uncertainty,” she had said while generally scanning over the room. “Now, Major Alenko, I request your presence for a private debriefing. Everyone else, I ask for your patience until departure. Thank you,” she said as she left the room, waiting at the door across the hall until Kaidan joined her.

She ushered him in, and gave Colonel Vaykom a nod of acknowledgement before closing the door behind her for some privacy.

“Hannah?” Kaidan questioned. The worry never having left his face.

“Oh, thank god, Kaidan, you have no idea how good it is to see you.”

“What happened? Is Jane--,” his voice clenched, cutting himself off, not knowing how to even finish the thought. He had seen the crucible go off. He was afraid his worst fears were about to be confirmed.

“It’s okay, Kaidan. Listen, I don’t want to worry you more than you have to, but she was alive when I left. She was in rough condition, but alive.”

Kaidan took in a deep shuddering breath, and Hannah went over to hug him. He eagerly accepted, as a few tears broke free. The worry was still there, but also relief.

“She’s on Earth right now. I left her with Miranda.”

Kaidan pulled away, questioningly. “Miranda?” he had had his own chance to finally meet her during their time on the Citadel. He knew that Jane cared about Miranda a great deal, and he had liked her well enough, but he still had his doubts about her to the point that he wasn’t sure it was a good idea to leave Jane in her care.

Hannah, of course knew that Kaidan would likely have concerns about that, and she had her own doubts before meeting Miranda for herself. If it weren’t for Miranda though, she knew that Jane's chances wouldn’t have been good.

“Don’t worry, Hackett’s still overseeing everything. He does daily progress checks, and is making sure everything is going according to plan. For what it’s worth though, you should give her a chance. She saved Jane once before. I know without a shadow of a doubt that if it wasn’t for her right now, I wouldn’t be so certain in saying that I believe my daughter is still alive today. I hate not being able to know for sure, but  _ because _ of Miranda’s plan, I have hope and faith that she is.”

Kaidan had listened intently. He hated not being able to be in control of the situation. He hated not being able to see Jane for himself. He hated that he listened to her in the first place, abandoning her on Earth, leading them to be so far apart, and stuck in this mess. But at least he had hope now too. It was more than he had a few hours ago. It would have to do for now. He just nodded at Hannah, trusting her judgement. It sounded like things weren’t good when she left. If she had that much faith in Miranda, it must have been with good reason.

“Listen to me,” Hannah said, gently grabbing Kaidan’s chin to force him to look her in the eye, as though he were her own child, preparing him for a scolding, though it wasn’t a scolding that she would be providing. She hoped to be encouraging. “Jane is going to need you. It’s time to pick yourself up. You need to be a leader for everyone in that room, just as I know you have been up until now. The faster we get out of here, the faster we’ll be able to see her again.”

Kaidan stood up a little straighter into a parade rest. She was right. This was good news. Shepard was alive and it was more than either of them had expected. Whatever her condition, didn’t change the fact that he loved her and she needed him.

“That’s what I like to see. Now, I’ll leave it up to you how you want to deliver the news to your crew. You know them best and what they can handle. I know how important they are to Jane, and the fact that they’re all here in that room is in no small part due to you. You’re a good leader, Kaidan. I’m proud of you. And I know your mother is proud of you too.”

“Oh, my mother. I just figured you wouldn’t know anything. Is she alright? I mean, do you know?”

“Yes, she’s completely fine. In fact, I’ve got quite a few stories to tell you of our adventures. But we’ll have plenty of time for that on our way home. She’s looking after Jane in my absence. So you have to know she’s in good hands.”

“That I do. She’s the best. Thank you so much for looking after her.”

“It was nothing, Kaidan. She really is the best. We’ve already become good friends.”

“Glad to hear it, Hannah,” he said with a genuine smile. If nothing else he was glad that his family, old and new had come together in times of hardship. He was glad everyone was getting along so well.

“Well, before I let you go, I need to know about the  _ Normandy _ . Is it salvageable?”

“Yes. It’s not space worthy, thanks to some of the main systems having been destroyed, but with a bit of maintenance, it’ll be good as new. A few of the engineers and scientists here have even been helping us work on it when they can be spared. They’ve given us a lot of good plans for fixing it, but man hours and resources have been in short supply. As long as it can get a tow, it’ll be completely salvageable.”

“Fantastic. Send me the coordinates, and I’ll arrange for that right away. I’ve got some meetings to attend to with the leaders here, and we have resource distribution to deal with. Other than that, I don’t expect us to be here longer than 24 hours. I’ll send someone to shuttle you to the  _ Orizaba _ .”

“Thank you, Ma’am.”

“You better stop it with that Ma’am business right this instant, unless we’re on duty together.”

Kaidan chuckled and nodded. “Right. Will do.”

“Good. Besides, you have nothing to thank me for. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a month. I’m just so happy to have finally found you.”

“I could say the same thing, Hannah. So I mean it. Thank you.”

“Well alright then. Let’s go though, shall we. We’ve got to get back to our girl after all.”

“That we do,” Kaidan said.

Hannah nodded in acknowledgement before turning to leave. This was an accomplishment. The rest of this tour was going to be a lot easier and go by much more quickly than the first half. She could finally go home again. That was the best news she could have gotten.


	15. Recovery

It had now been two months since Shepard had fired the crucible. One month since she had woken up. It had been a difficult month to say the least. They had started her off on genetic therapy to promote faster healing. It had done wonders, but it wasn’t a total miracle worker. It would still take time. The physical therapy was almost comparable to N7 training, if only because of how relentless it was. She would do it though, and gladly. She had been granted a third chance at life. She literally didn’t know anyone who could say that, and she wasn’t about to waste it.

It had started off slowly. Brynn and Miranda had come in to explain that her body would feel very sluggish until she got more use and practice out of her limbs, allowing the cybernetics to properly map and remember what each nerve meant.

Of course her pain receptors had plenty of practice being picked up before then thanks to her surgeries and lingering injuries, because even in her comatose state, the cybernetics were capable of mapping every pain indication. The pain had not been the worst she had felt, but it added to her limitations and the slow start of her physical therapy.

They had to continue her regimen of muscle retaining meds until she regained full movement. It had only been a month, so they had managed to maintain roughly 80-90% of her original muscle mass. That was certainly nothing to scoff at, and would help in the long run. For now it may as well have felt like she only had 10% with how much of a struggle it was to get everything to move. Logically she knew why, but it was frustrating. Even so, she gladly pushed through it.

After the first day, she had been surprised to be woken up by how sore she was. She figured that with her muscle’s still being mostly intact, it wouldn’t have hurt this much. Dr. Michel had explained that it was likely to still hurt a lot because, though she didn’t have a lot of muscle to regain, they had still lied dormant for a whole month. It would take time for them to adjust again.

Most of the physical therapy had started with her arms, because that was all Shepard was able to do by herself at the moment. Her legs were almost entirely unresponsive. Her neurologist had explained it was because those nerves were further away from her brain, and the cybernetic implant, so it would take longer for those to be picked up. In the meantime, her PT specialist would help her legs do stretches until she was able to move them better on her own.

As the days went on, she was slowly able to start moving her legs, though the one that had been replaced was even slower than the other one. Again, her neurologist had explained that was due to the fact that the nerves had been severed and also needed to heal themselves fully, on top of being mapped to her cybernetics.

The work had quickly paid off, as only four weeks after waking up, her arms were strong enough to support her weight, and her good leg was able to move well enough that she could walk on crutches. Her bad leg was still capable of moving, but it was definitely lagging behind everything else.

The physical aspects of recovery weren’t the only thing making it difficult, though. The emotional recovery had proven to be just as difficult if not more so. First and foremost, Ada had sat down with her a couple of days after she had first woken up. Even though she had still been recovering, Ada hadn’t felt right about trying to keep Kaidan’s MIA status a secret. She had waited until they had bonded enough to where she felt comfortable being the one to give her the news.

That had been a hard pill to swallow, though part of her had expected as much, having not heard from him since waking up. She didn’t know if she could have as much of a dedicated attitude towards recovery if she had to face a future without him. She had quickly tried to quell any negative thoughts towards the issue. There was no point in worrying about something that they just didn’t know anything about yet. There was a search currently underway after all. She could worry about it after her mother returned. Of course that was the rational part of her mind. In most areas of her life, that part of her dominated the way she lived, but in the quiet moments at night when she was trying to get some rest it was easy for the distressing thoughts to seep through.

Her current bed may not have been large enough to comfortably fit two adults, but it didn’t stop her from huddling herself towards her side of the bed, longingly looking at the other half of her pillow. She wished so desperately that it was taken up by her husband. She missed running her fingers through his hair, and cuddling up close enough that his smell helped put her to sleep.

And then there were the ramifications of her decision. She hadn’t even put much thought into remembering what had happened until Admiral Hackett had asked her if she was willing to do a debriefing. That was about a week after she had woken up. Her voice had returned and with the limitations of her body she hadn’t been able to put in too much time in physical therapy at that point, which left her a lot of time for talking. Better to get it out of the way and move on with her life.

He had quickly told her that all of the geth had perished, and asked what happened, if she remembered anything. She had inwardly cringed at the news. She had known that would be a likely possibility at the time. It was the only reason she had even hesitated with her choice. She already knew what it had felt like to have mass murder under her belt. Sure she may not have killed off all of the batarians, but inadvertently sentencing the Bahak system to obliteration had weighed heavily on her.

She was used to killing, but nothing on such a grand scale before then, and she would never get used to killing innocents. The two situations may not have been the same, but they certainly felt similar.

After Jane had woken up, she had hoped that since she had lived, maybe the geth had a chance too. Of course that had been too much to expect. Her luck had to run out at some point.

She had fully informed Hackett about the warning that the Catalyst had given her. That any instance of introducing artificial life always ended in war. He quickly took note of that and made sure it would be something they all remembered moving forward.

In the end she stood by her decision. As hard as it was to bear the consequences, it had been the right choice, just as it had been when she had chosen to destroy the Alpha Relay. There was no way to know how either of the other options would have turned out. There was just no precedent for synthesis, so she couldn’t trust that it would work, and controlling the Reapers just sounded like an awful joke. The reapers must have thought she was indoctrinated if she would ever accept something like that. No, she had been there to destroy, and that’s what she had done. It had come with a cost as with everything else in her life, but she would own up to it and deal with the punishment.

Hackett had nodded along, quietly taking in all of the information. He had blatantly said that he didn’t think he would have made the same choice in her shoes, but that he could also never pretend to know for sure what he would have done under the circumstances. He also very clearly let it be known that he would never blame her for her actions, because at the end of the day she alone had won their continued existence.

Of course she had quickly tried to deny it, saying that it was a united effort. She hadn’t been wrong, but Hackett was vehement in stating that it didn’t matter, because if it hadn’t been for her and her final push, everyone would have been dead by now.

Jane had fully expected incarceration. If history was any indication, she would likely be stripped of her rank, and be sentenced for genocide. She didn’t know if Hackett had just pitied her or finally had enough of how everyone else had treated her up until now, but he promised her that she would not be punished for this. She knew he had sympathised with her after the Bahak system. Possibly even felt a little guilty knowing that he had been the one to send her there in the first place, but she also knew that he was a man of conviction. If he felt that this didn’t deserve a prison sentence, then she was willing to entertain the idea that maybe, for once, she was being too hard on herself.

Though the knowledge of lack of punishment had lead to an entirely new punishment in and of itself. She had found that the guilt she felt for the geth was much stronger than after the Bahak system, because at least then she was forced to be held accountable for her actions.

Hackett had quickly noticed a deterioration in her health only three days after their conversation. Dark circles under her eyes, and lack of motivation. He had recognized the signs that he himself had once portrayed. The insurmountable guilt of having innocent blood on your hands. It was something that he had gone through only a year after becoming an admiral.

He too had been accustomed to taking lives, but as an admiral it was on a whole other scale he hadn’t expected, and it was usually his own men he had been sentencing to death. On more than a few occasions he had knowingly had to send a few teams into suicide situations. He was used to being the one taking the risks, not forcing other people to do it for him. He had not taken to it well. He had been thankful to have the wisdom of one of his predecessors notice the signs for him, just as he had noticed them now in Shepard.

He had opened up about his past and his guilt, and said that if she hadn’t been feeling this way, he would have been worried. He knew that she would have to want to do it for her own reasons, but he emphasized how important it was for her to get help. He knew from experience after all. He was fond of his therapist. He had still been using the same one ever since. A young woman at the time he met her, only a few years older than he. She specialised in grief and survival, and was currently part of Hackett’s detail, so she was here on their temporary new Alliance headquarters. She had been particularly busy since the war ended, but Shepard would be considered high priority, and he recommended her.

She had taken a few moments to ponder it. Jane had never been one for getting help, but then again she had never been left alone with her thoughts long enough to stew them over, with the only exception being the six months of her incarceration. Paying her penance, and still worrying too much about the Reapers had been enough to keep her going at the time. She figured to simply keep going, wouldn’t be enough anymore. This was too much for her to deal with on her own, and she knew it was taking a toll on her already. She still had hope that Kaidan was out there somewhere, and if things were going to go to plan, this would be a part of her recovery that would be just as important as the physical aspects.

Jane had nodded her agreement to meeting with the therapist. She hadn’t expected to be meeting with her only a few hours later. It had been somewhat of a quiet, tentative meeting. Shepard had no idea how to go about these things, and it was hard for her to open up on such an emotional level. The therapist, Dr. Burton, had been well practiced and patient. She had laid down the groundwork for trust, and subtly started to get answers out of Jane with her barely even noticing.

It had been more productive than Jane ever would have guessed. By the end of their first meeting, she was nowhere close to where she wanted to be, but at least some of the weight had been lifted. It was progress, and that was something. For the first time in three nights she finally slept more than an hour. It was still a restless sleep, filled with nightmares and cold sweats, but it was still a step forward. Hackett was a smart man.

Ada had been at her side through it all. She was her main nurse. At the beginning, Jane couldn’t decide if it was mortifying or comforting that her mother-in-law that she barely knew was the one primarily responsible for being the one to help feed her and go to the bathroom. Ada easily treated it like it was the most natural thing in the world, so she quickly decided it was comforting. Especially when it was compared with the other nurses who were complete strangers. They had been nice enough, but they lacked the personal touch that Ada had.

Ada had been the one to tell Jane about how she was even in as good of shape as she was. That Miranda had saved her clone, and that had been what saved her. Jane had immediately asked what they had done with the body. Ada told her that they had cremated what was left. She said that she had been adamant about not caring what the clone had done in the past, because in the end she was still a person, and a person who had ended up saving a life. More than one even.

They were able to harvest all of the other organs and usable parts. With the vats not being available to use yet, there was no shortage of organs needed. Her corneas had gone to a young soldier who had gotten too close to a flashbang. Her other kidney had gone to an older woman who was in end stage renal failure. Her other lung, liver and hair were also given to people in need. Her previous actions hadn’t mattered, because in the end she had provided for so many people in need. The least she was deserving of was a cremation.

After hearing the admission, Jane knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she loved this woman. Not only because she had to now that they were family, but because Ada clearly cared deeply about people.

Jane’s own feelings about the clone had been a bit more conflicted. The clone had tried to kill her and her crew after all. But at the end of the day she knew it wasn’t really the clone’s fault. She couldn’t imagine being woken up only to realise that she was meant to be nothing other than spare limbs and parts for someone else.

Ada had saved the ashes in her room, but now she gave them to Jane, figuring it was better to leave them with her to decide what to do with. For now they stayed on her night stand, something confusing to ponder about, but mostly a grateful reminder at how precious life was. It was a constant comfort at her bedside when she would have a bad night. She never would have guessed that the clone she had once held disdain for would end up having such an important part in her life.

She and Ada had quickly became friends. Ada had never squandered a chance to tell Jane an embarrassing story from Kaidan’s childhood, and Jane ate up every minute of it. She would have a lot to tease him about when they would finally see each other again. Though, she figured her own mother would likely be telling stories of her own the moment she found Kaidan, so she better be careful about that line of thinking.

Ada had been at her side for everything. The emotional support, the physical support, and even for the vomiting at the end of a particularly rough PT session. One time Jane had gotten some on her after not having enough warning. The woman was a saint, though she hadn’t wasted the opportunity to say that all would be forgiven the moment she got a grandchild. Especially because said grandchild would likely repay the favour, she had said with an ominous laugh. Maybe Ada had an evil streak after all. Even better, she thought.

Even though they were technically family, she marvelled at how quickly Ada had actually felt like part of hers. Ada had taken care of her unquestioningly, and not just because she was a nurse. She had been the nagging motherly force to get her to do PT when she thought she was too sore from the previous day. She slept at her bedside on particularly hard nights. Always patient to lend an ear whenever Shepard wanted to talk, but never prodded before she was ready. It was easy for Jane to understand how Kaidan had become the man he was today even after his own hardships. She was looking forward to a future that included Ada Alenko.

She had plenty of visitors after waking up. Miranda had been a constant. Always there for support when Jane needed it, though she seemed to have a lot on her plate and was never able to stay for long. She had even started bringing Oriana around with her, after giving Jane a chance to recover more. Jane didn’t know Oriana that well before this, but she was happy to see that there was a good relationship developing between the sisters, and she was glad to see that the war hadn’t completely tainted the younger Lawson’s more innocent nature. She still had strong ambitions and passions, and it was infectious.

Jacob and Brynn were also constants. Brynn came to check up on her cybernetics regularly. There hadn’t been any issues, but aside from checking to make sure they were working, she was collecting more data for future use of the technology, and what to expect for someone recovering from the treatment. After every checkup the pair had always stayed for a while to catch up.

Jane would always be grateful to Brynn, but she found that it was also easy to like her. Their conversations were relaxed and one of the easier ones to take her out of the moment. Jane firmly believed that Brynn was good for Jacob. Brynn gave him the purpose that he didn’t know he needed, and it was making him a better person. As time went on, Brynn’s bump became more pronounced, and a lot of their conversations started revolving around the baby. Brynn never seemed to waver on wanting to name it after her. She mostly just laughed and took it as a compliment, though it was still a strange notion to Jane that someone would want to name a person after her.

Wrex, of course, already knew that Shepard was alive, and he was still stuck on Earth. He wasn’t permitted to see her until two weeks after she woke up, and quickly took the first chance that he was offered. Miranda had been feeding him updates as time went on to at least keep him in the loop, but that wasn’t enough for him. He came in with a booming voice, threatening to headbutt her if she didn’t start walking on her own soon. She knew he was joking, and being encouraging the best way he knew how, but it was also enough for it to be the first day that she managed to stand using entirely her own strength.

They had laughed together at her progress, and she had kicked herself for not wanting to try harder before. He made sure to tell her how much he liked Hannah. He was already considering adding her to clan Urdnot, to which he earned a shocked look. Everyone had spared the details of her rescue up until now. Wrex told her everything, and how Ada had been there keeping her alive. Jane already loved the woman, but that earned her an entirely new respect. She had remembered Kaidan mentioning that Ada had never been off world before the war. That must have been quite the shock.

Jack had also been on Earth at the end with her biotic students. She had also been granted visitation rights two weeks after Jane woke up, but she had been farther away than Wrex, and arrived a day later. After she had heard that Shepard had been the one to fire the crucible, Jack had expected nothing less than for Shepard to give the explosion the middle finger and walk off into the sunset. She was fine with the reality of events being a little less glamorous if it meant that Shepard was alive.

Jack had never been one for talking much, and it was clear to Shepard that she didn’t know what to say. It didn’t particularly matter to Jane, just knowing that she had been willing to come meant everything. Jane decided to ask about the students, and was in awe with the pride in which Jack spoke about them. The amount of growth that Jack had gone through since their first meeting had been astounding. As Jack was about to leave, Jane had said that she was just glad that Jack didn’t slap her this time. It had almost become customary for Jack to do so after not having seen her for a while, since she had done so both at Grissom Academy, as well as her party on the Citadel. Jack told her she better not hear about any slacking going on otherwise she might be inclined to come back for the sole purpose of doing it again, to which they both shared a good laugh.

Samara had been preparing for departure when she got the call that she could see Shepard. She had set up arrangements on a dreadnought heading towards Asari space, planning to go back to Lesuss and be with her daughter. She would have to find her own transport somewhere along the journey, but for now they were headed in the same direction she wanted to go, and they were happy to have a justicar on board.

Samara had declared how happy it made her to be able to see Jane once again on the other side of such chaos and unrest. She had also never been much for words, but after they had walked outside for some fresh air, Jane had needed a break. They had played one last version of their little game, dictating the lives of the passersby in the refugee camps. Samara had been pleasantly surprised that Shepard had gotten better at the game, coming up with more interesting stories this time. Shepard had claimed that being as inactive as she’d been if even for only two weeks had given her a lot of time to practice. Samara had been happy to hear that their previous interaction had made enough of an impact for Shepard to have remembered and relied on it for comfort, amusement, or even distraction.

Samara had left her with the shared knowledge that it might be the last they would be seeing of each other. At the moment, no one had any idea how long the relays would take to be repaired, but Samara was not going to wait to try to spend whatever time she had left fixing the mistakes of her past. She would be there for her daughter now even if it took her 10 years to get there.

Zaeed dropped by quickly to make sure she was okay before he was about to leave for rather ambiguous reasons. Probably some mercenary gig that he didn’t want her knowing about. He offered her some whiskey and to play a drinking game to pass the time, but she had politely declined. Not good to mix alcohol with the meds. It hadn’t stopped him, and he probably left sooner than he would have had she chosen to join in, but she had appreciated their time together anyway.

Grunt had kept being denied entry to the Alliance ships thanks to his previous criminal record involving a noodle house, but Shepard had made her way down to see him after she had healed more. He had been far too rough with her for her liking, though she would never show it in front of him. Always the best example she could be of a battle master to her impressionable young Krogan.

Kasumi had even come by at one point, though Jane had no idea when. She had left nothing other than a smutty romance novel with a rose between the pages, and a note scribbled out, “For those lonely nights.” At least she hadn’t rummaged around through her underwear drawer this time… or so she thought.

There had been other visitors here and there too. An admiral that had once been her mother's boss on the starship they had been living on at the time. He offered a simple thank you for her service and wished her and her mother well. Admiral Raan and Vitor had come to say a quick hello, as well as Major Coats, Captain Kirrahe and some other people from her past. She couldn’t help but feel happy to know how loved she was, and to see how many people would come for her. It was humbling.

But today she had another visitor. Admiral Hackett. That wasn’t entirely unusual in and of itself, but something immediately seemed off about his demeanor as he stood in the doorway of her room waiting to be allowed in.

She had been standing by her bedside leaning on her crutches. Her bad leg was finally starting to respond more, but not well enough to rely on it fully.

“Admiral Hackett?”

“Good morning, Commander. I was hoping to get a word with you if I could.”

“Of course, come in.”

“You should probably have a seat.”

“That bad, huh?” She said as she turned to sit on the edge of her bed. His actions were definitely sending tendrils of panic through her, but she would sit there and wait to see where it went before overreacting.

The admiral had decided to stand in front of her. He had only just noticed that there was a packed duffel bag on the end of the bed.

“Going somewhere?” he had asked, pointing to it.

“I’m getting discharged today. Can’t really go far thanks to the physical therapy, but I don’t need treatment anymore. I hate taking the room when someone else could be using it.”

“Do you have a place to stay?”

“I’ll be staying with Ada for now, in the dorms.”

“We can arrange for something nicer, Shepard.”

“Please, don’t worry about it, sir. With how often I have to be here anyway, it’s really not that bad. She even has a private bathroom.”

He just nodded, accepting that for now.

“So, are you going to tell me why you’re here, or are you going to make me guess?” she asked, finding that she was quickly losing patience for the situation.

“Yes, of course. I’ve been keeping track of your doctors reports, as you well know by now I’m sure.”

“Yes, sir,” she said tentatively.

“I’m afraid there’s no easy way to say this,” he said while pausing for a moment. “The admiralty board has decided to pull you from active duty.”

“Oh,” she said simply.

Hackett waited to see if she would offer any other type of response before finally asking, “Do you have any questions?”

“Well, don’t you think that’s a bit hasty? I thought my recovery has been going pretty well.”

“It certainly has. I saw you soon after they brought you in. It’s remarkable how far you’ve come. But Dr. Michel has come forward with some concerns. She’s afraid with the amount of trauma you had sustained, and the amount of treatment you had to go through, combined with the fact that your cybernetics are now only basic in nature, she doesn’t think you’ll ever quite be combat ready again. At least not in the same capacity you would normally be accustomed to, and she’s afraid that it would make you more susceptible to be in danger in the field.”

Shepard had quietly nodded. Hackett was surprised at how well she was taking it.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” he asked.

“What does this mean exactly? Am I being discharged from service?” she had totally ignored his question.

“Of course not.”

“Well then, is now a bad time to ask for a promotion?” she half joked.

Admiral Hackett let out a bark of laughter, which was perhaps the last thing he had expected to be doing during this meeting.

“I think we can work something out,” is all he was willing to offer on the matter. In actuality, he already knew that they were putting through the paperwork for her to move up in the ranks, but she wasn’t supposed to know about it yet. “For now, consider yourself on paid medical leave, but if you ask me, a promotion is long overdue.”

“I’m glad you agree,” she said with a smile. “I really don’t think I could handle being someone’s secretary after everything I’ve been through.”

“You won’t have to worry about that. I can at least promise you that much.”

“Well, good.”

“To be honest Shepard, I’m surprised you’re taking this so well.”

“Well, with the way you came in here, I was almost scared that you were going to tell me that the _Orizaba_ had been attacked by pirates or something.”

“I’m sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.”

“I know. I’m sure that wasn’t easy for you to have to do. It still wasn’t the easiest thing to hear, but it’s not like I planned on being a soldier for my whole life. I was planning for things to calm down eventually, though this is probably a little earlier than I would have expected. As long as I have a place that I can fit in and do some good, I’ll come to terms with it eventually.”

“All in good time, Commander.”

She nodded at him, and offered a small smile.

“I’ll keep you posted. We have an awards ceremony planned sometime after your mother gets back. We can talk about promotions then. For now you just focus on recovery.”

“I will. Thank you, sir,” she said, while attempting to stand and offer a salute. He had stopped her, and offered her one in return. An act entirely unheard of. Something that she didn’t particularly care for, but she wasn’t about to say no to her commanding officer. Instead, she just nodded her thanks again not entirely sure how to treat the situation.

“No, thank you Jane,” he said before excusing himself from the room.

Well that certainly hadn’t been the direction she had seen her life going in. She had already liked the idea of things settling down and becoming a bit more laid back, but she had planned for it to be on her terms.

It was upsetting, but there were worse things. The silver lining was that she would live. It had become her mantra over the last month when things got tough. ‘They would live, she would live, we made it.’ She could deal with everything else. She couldn’t help but wish that she didn’t have to deal with it alone though. Her mother could not return fast enough.


	16. Coming Home Again

It had now been 70 days since Hannah had found her daughter under rubble in the center of the Citadel. They were finally within range of Earth. They would be there within the hour and there was a nervous excitement surrounding everyone on the ship. It had been intensified for her and Kaidan, and to a lesser degree the rest of the _Normandy_ crew.

They should have been within communication range a week ago, but as they re-entered the Sol system, they had hit a leftover pocket of energy that had been discharged from the crucible. Luckily their engineers knew how to fix all of the life support systems quickly this time, however; the short that had happened in communications had been irreversible without replacement parts that they simply didn’t have at the moment.

Kaidan and Hannah had desperately been awaiting an update about Jane, and they were sure Ada was becoming just as eager on the other side of things. It had been utterly frustrating to be so close to being within range, only for this to occur out of the blue. It had been one of the longest weeks of their life. But they maintained focus and pushed onward, because they were close now, and one way or another they would be finding out soon enough.

The last month had been as enjoyable as it possibly could be with the shadow of Jane’s condition looming over them. Hannah had thoroughly tried to prepare Kaidan for what to expect judging by the state that Jane was in when she had left. It was something that was always at the back of their minds, but they had tried not to focus on it, and instead took the time to get to know each other better.

Hannah had won money off of Kaidan on more than one occasion playing Skyllian Five. The man had an awful poker face. She had also let him win a few times, because she felt bad about essentially taking money from her son-in-law.

She had shared stories about Jane’s upbringing, and the brief amount of time she had shared with Ada. Kaidan was shocked, to say the least, at what he had learned his mother had been capable of. He had already owed a lot to his mother, but this was something else entirely to know that she was largely responsible for saving Jane. Maybe when Shepard was better they would both get a chance to take her on that trip. She definitely deserved it.

Kaidan had shared stories of training his biotic students, and a brief history of his military service. Hannah was pleased with his fairly distinguished career up until this point. It meant that he was determined and hard working, if not perhaps a little too dedicated to service. Then again, so was her daughter, so she really couldn’t complain about that. He had already gone against the regs a few times before, so at least he had his own mind and reasons for following, but still knew when to question things.

At the moment she was more interested with the biotic students. The man genuinely cared about their wellbeing and proper education. It showed a lot of qualities that made it obvious that he was the nurturing and patient type. Perfect attributes to be a good father. She would never vocalize such a thought. She never wanted to be the badgering type, and now was quite possibly the worst time to be worrying about such a thing, but Hannah was proud of her daughter’s ability to choose a good husband. Despite the circumstances, she had enjoyed her time with Kaidan.

But now, the time had finally come that they would be landing shortly. Hannah had to send someone ahead of them in a shuttle, as their comms weren’t down, but they were only short range. They would need to make contact with Aviation and the Alliance headquarters before being able to disembark.

After they had gotten the approval, the next few shuttles left immediately. Hannah and Kaidan had been on the first. Hannah would usually never be the first to leave her ship, but these were extenuating circumstances. She had to see her daughter. The moment she had checked in on her progress and seen for herself that she was okay, she would come back and make sure her job was done. In the meantime, she figured Executive Officers were around for a reason, and now was a perfect time to take advantage of hers.

It’s like they had both been in a trance throughout the entire ride back down to Earth. Admiral Hackett had given them permission to do as they pleased for now, understanding their urgency, he wasn’t going to call Hannah in for a debriefing until later.

As soon as they landed, Hannah took off for the medical ship, Kaidan in tow. She wasn’t surprised in the least to have found that it hadn’t moved at all. It was still just as busy as ever, though she had noticed that the refugee camp had seemed to have become somewhat smaller since she had been here last. For now she would be hopeful and assume that had more to do with better organization, instead of high post war mortality rates.

She had darted up to the main lobby, demanding to know where Jane Shepard was currently being housed, only to be abruptly told that there was no Jane Shepard staying here. Kaidan had just been confused, not knowing anything about the area or the situation, so it’s not like he could go running off on his own looking for Jane. Hannah had simply scrunched her eyebrows, not wanting to understand the implications.

“No, no, no. That can’t be right. She was here when I left,” she said raising her voice slightly.

“I don’t know what to tell y--,” the receptionist said before being cut off from yelling down the hall.

“Admiral Shepard!”

She looked over quickly to see that Miranda had been running to meet them.

“Miranda! What’s going on? She said that Jane’s not here.”

Miranda took a moment to catch her breath while putting a finger to her lips signalling her to be quiet, while ushering them to the elevators.

“Sorry I didn’t make it in time. Admiral Hackett just informed me of your arrival. I hoped I would get here before you got to reception. Good to see you, Kaidan.”

Kaidan nodded politely, but Hannah didn’t quite care for pleasantries at the moment.

“Miranda?”

“Don’t worry. After we transferred Jane out of the ICU, I made sure she was under a pseudonym. I never had a chance to tell you that, so they haven’t had Jane in the system for some time.”

That’s when Hannah noticed that Miranda had sent the elevator down towards living quarters and not up towards the medical facilities.

“So then where are we going?”

“Well that’s the terrific news. Jane has been discharged for over a week now. She’s currently staying with Ada in the dorms.”

“What?! You can’t be serious. It hasn’t even been 3 months yet. She was so bad when I left her.”

“We had a good team, Admiral. Not to mention a willing patient. Her recovery has been going smoothly.”

Kaidan had clearly begun to cry, looking up at the ceiling. It had already been a relief that Shepard was at least alive, but to hear that she was doing well was almost unbelievable.

The elevator doors opened, and Miranda just stood at the opening. “Shepard is scheduled for PT soon, so she would be resting right now. I believe you remember where Ada was staying?”

“Thank you, Miranda. For everything,” she said before taking off down the hallway. She would make sure that woman got a damn medal, and the recognition she deserved, but for right now she had to see her daughter with her own eyes.

As they turned the corner, they saw Ada heading towards them from the other end of the hallway with two trays from the cafeteria. Kaidan and Hannah paused momentarily, before they saw Ada standing there open-mouthed while she dropped the trays. Luckily almost none of the tableware from a space vessel was ever made of glass, so nothing shattered, but it still filled the hallway with an ungodly amount of clanging and spilled food.

“Kaidan?” she let out as a mangled sob, before covering her mouth with both of her hands, her body clearly beginning to shake.

Kaidan ran over to her immediately. He wanted nothing more than to see Shepard for himself right now, but his mother had already seen him, and she needed to be comforted first. Especially after losing his father, he knew how important this would be to her. He ran over to her immediately and wrapped her into a strong hug.

He, of course, had more than a month to know that his mother was alive and well, but he knew that his own status had been much more uncertain. Especially since they weren’t able to get through the comms until less than an hour before. He figured, barely anyone knew that they were on their way, especially since Hannah hadn’t had time to inform anyone of who exactly would be joining her, or if she had even been successful in finding the Normandy.

“It’s okay mom. I’m okay.”

She finally relaxed a little, and wrapped her own arms around her son tightly, burying her face in his chest. She still wasn’t able to contain herself, and couldn’t stop crying, so he just stayed to comfort her for a moment.

Hannah hadn’t wasted any time, barging through the door. Jane had been standing up facing away from the door, trying to brace herself on the dresser when she heard it open behind her.

“Ada? What’s going on? What was all that noise?”

Hannah had just stood there in shock. She never would have expected anything like this. She had almost figured that Jane would still be bed ridden, or at least reliant on a wheelchair. Certainly not standing of her own accord.

Shepard had been reaching for her crutches, but after her questions had been left unanswered, she just turned her head, starting to panic, thinking that someone might have been intruding. Her breath hitched when she saw who was waiting for her.

“Mom?” she whispered out.

Hannah didn’t move. She simply answered, “Am I hallucinating?”

“Only if I am too.”

Hannah finally moved to gently give her a hug. Sure her daughter seemed well enough, but she couldn’t help but treat her like glass, the images of her previous state still lingering in her mind.

“I can’t believe it,” Hannah whispered. “I barely expected you to even be awake now. How is this possible?”

Jane really didn’t have much of an answer for her. She was still trying to get over her own shock. A double dose of it even, with the way her mother had just intruded after loud noises that were no friend to old soldiers, accompanied by the fact that she figured someone would have told her that her mother was in orbit. She just held on to her mother desperately. Partially for stability, but mostly to know that she wasn’t, in fact, hallucinating.

“Why didn’t anyone say you were coming?”

“It’s a long story, sweetie. Our fault. Tech issues. Just know that we never would have kept it a secret from you if we had the choice,” she said backing away to get a good look at her daughter, still not being able to believe it.

As she backed away, Jane could see Kaidan waiting at the door with his mother.

“You found him,” Jane breathed out.

Hannah had turned to confirm what Jane must have been seeing. She knew that this is the moment that the both of them had been waiting for ever since the end of the war. She wouldn’t get in their way longer than she needed to.

“Of course I did, Jane. I would do anything for you,” she said as she moved to kiss her daughter’s forehead. She could feel that Jane was using her for support, so instead of leaving, she moved slightly signalling Kaidan to take her place.

Without hesitation he was right at Jane’s side. Hannah moved to join Ada now. “Let’s give them some time, shall we? I’ll pay for a new… what was that? Lunch? I’m not even sure what time it is.”

Ada had calmed herself a bit more since seeing them for the first time, but was still struggling to talk. She wiped at her tears as she nodded.

“Come to think of it, did Miranda say that Jane has a physical therapy appointment? Maybe we should go cancel that first.”

That was enough for Ada to get back to herself a bit more as she laughed at what Hannah had been implying. “That might be a good idea,” Ada said, with a smile.

They started walking back towards the elevators. They had already noticed a maintenance crew cleaning up the aftermath of the trays. Hannah and Ada had both apologized and thanked them on their way out. Hannah may have been an admiral, but she wasn’t an asshole. She would have stayed and cleaned it up herself if it hadn’t already been tended to.

Of course Hannah wanted nothing more than to catch up with her daughter. She wanted to know everything about her recovery, and how she was doing. How she was _really_ doing. Something that would likely take time to chip away at. Hannah knew what it was to go through a war and make it out to the other side. It didn’t leave you the same person that you once were, on top of how many other hurdles Jane had been forced to overcome along the way. Her daughter didn’t often give that kind of information away willingly, because she never wanted to worry her mother, but Hannah always knew better.

But she also knew that when given the choice of spending time with either of them, between mother and husband, husband would always win. As her parent, she would always willingly sacrifice that for Jane’s sake. In the end, seeing her child’s happiness would also feed her own. The time apart now, would be worth it seeing Jane renewed and hopeful after she and Kaidan got to spend some time together alone.


	17. My Warm Embrace to Call Home at the End of the Day

As soon as the door had closed behind them, Kaidan engulfed her into a hug, perhaps a little too tightly knowing the kind of recovery she had gone through, but he also wasn’t thinking clearly. Jane hadn’t protested, and seemed to meet his force with a surprising amount of her own. He loosened himself a bit though, knowing how strong willed she was, and how likely she wouldn’t admit to being in pain even if she was.

Tears had started to stream down his face willingly, which only fueled Jane to do the same. He captured her in a deep, confirming kiss.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Kaidan struggled to get out.

“I could say the same about you, you know,” Shepard said, emotion clearly flooding her voice, but not overtaking it. She moved her arms to wrap around his neck and rested most of her weight against him before joining their lips again.

Kaidan had immediately felt the way she shifted her weight, and picked up the cues that this was still probably more difficult than she was willing to admit. Without parting, he picked her up with ease, noting that her left leg had been struggling to wrap around his waist. He helped her lift it to make her more comfortable as he moved them both to the bed that he assumed was Shepard’s. She hadn’t protested, so he figured he must have gotten it right.

He laid her down gently, and she scooted all the way over to the wall to give him space. The bed was a twin. It was small for two people, but a bit of a luxury when it came to a space vessel. Certainly better than the standard bunks. Neither of them particularly cared at how small the bed was at the moment though. Anything to encourage closeness right now was more than welcomed.

Kaidan laid down beside her gently and they scooted together, admiring each other’s gaze. Kaidan’s arm was resting over her waist, his hand on her back pushing her closer to him. Jane’s hands were caressing his face, and brushing away the extra tears.

“I love you so much,” they both said in unison. It was enough to make them giggle.

Kaidan started to tear up again, looking into her eyes. He shook his head. “I thought I’d lost you. I thought I was going to have to go through it all over again.”

Shepard shook her head too, trying to get him to stop that line of thinking. They didn’t need to be going down that road anymore. “I know, Kaidan. It’s okay now though. We’re okay,” she said while kissing his tears away. Then she slowly kissed her way to his lips, transferring the wet saltiness.

It had started off innocently enough. Just wanting that connection again. That confirmation of life. But then it had reignited something in Shepard. She had been in so much pain and emotional turmoil that lust hadn’t even been a part of her vocabulary since she had woken up. With Kaidan beside her, it had returned with a vengeance.

She moved her hand down, grazing his inner pant seam, feeling proof that her desires were shared by the very evident bulge she passed on her way to untucking his shirt.

“Whoa, hey, what are you doing, Shepard?” Kaidan said backing away from the kiss, out of breath.

“Kaidan, please. I need this. I need to feel close to you.”

Of course Kaidan wanted it too, to feel like they were one again, but he really didn’t want to hurt her. He still didn’t know the full extent of everything. She looked okay, but she clearly wasn’t fine.

“What have your doctors said?”

“I haven’t asked. I wasn’t exactly going to do much without you.”

“Maybe we should wait. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“With what they put me through in PT, this is nothing in comparison.”

That was enough for Kaidan to want to consider it, but Jane could see that he was still on the fence. She knew that he would have the self control of a saint as long as it meant that he couldn’t hurt her.

She moved to kiss him again, this time slowly using her tongue to explore his own. There was no fighting for dominance, only impassioned reciprocation. She forced her leg between his, allowing her body to rub up against him completely. Maybe he didn’t have as much self control as she thought, because he started moving into her too until his breath hitched, and he retreated again.

“What if I promise to let you know if it hurts. There’s no way to know unless we try.”

Kaidan was definitely not in full possession of his faculties, but that made sense. “Okay,” he finally said, nodding.

Kaidan stood so he could undress himself more quickly. He may have agreed to this, but he was still going to make it as easy for Shepard as possible, even if it meant a bit of the romance of the whole thing was gone. She had sat up to enjoy the view, so no complaints from her.

He had looked remarkably similar to their last tryst. A few more scars from the blast of the mako adorning his body, and a little more grey around the edges, but still the same man she had fallen in love with.

He joined her back on the bed, helping her slowly take her shirt off. He hadn’t had a chance to get a good look at her until now. He had just needed to hold her and make sure she was okay and real. But now that she was naked, and on display in front of him, he could see how much she had changed. He had gotten the debriefing from Hannah. He knew how bad she was, but seeing it for himself was an entirely different thing.

She had a large scar running between her breasts, as well as one basically in a square shape covering her entire torso. There were more patches here and there. A large segment on her arm, and one even running up her neck to right under her jaw. They had all clearly faded by now. She must have been taken advantage of the scar healing treatments. Even so, she wasn’t hiding them. There was no evidence of shame or disgust at the new features that had adorned her body. They were a part of her, and whether she could see them or not, they always would be.

The hair from the front of the right side of her head had clearly been shaved off a couple of months ago. She had cut and styled the rest of her hair since then to accommodate it. It looked good on her. He liked it. He ran one of his fingers across the scar there, and noticed that she had decided not to use the treatment on that one for whatever reason. Likely to keep as a reminder of how precious life was. He would have to ask about it later. There were so many new things that he had to learn about her, and they had the time to do it now.

He guided her to lean down so he could help take her pants off, noticing even more scars over her legs. The amount of hardships that this woman had to go through to come back to him. He would be indebted to her forever. As he pulled the pants over her feet he just had to laugh to himself for nothing more than a fleeting moment. No socks. If he had any doubt in his mind that this wasn’t the real Shepard, it would have disappeared right then and there. The woman hated her feet to be covered. He gave each one a kiss at the ankle before resting them back on the bed.

Kaidan moved to sit next to her again, where he had planned to ease into it. Shepard had her own ideas though, and straddled him before he could lie down.

“It’ll hurt less this way,” she whispered.

Kaidan could see the logic in it. He wouldn’t be putting his weight on her, and Jane was the one on top, giving her the power to do things at whatever pace she was capable of, but their sitting position still allowed the closeness that they both craved. He was starting to be more and more okay with this.

Jane readjusted so Kaidan could guide himself inside of her. She lowered herself on top of him slowly, taking him in deeply. She moved her legs to rest over his, and spread them out behind his back resting her feet on the bed to give her leverage. They would take this slow, but neither of them had been touched in more than two months. There was no need for foreplay, and this was about being close to each other again more so than desire, though that was definitely there too.

As she settled in his lap, Kaidan moved his hands up her back, exuding a comfortable warmth. He rested his head in the crook of her neck, deeply inhaling her scent. She still smelled the same. Cocoa butter, and the fragrance that was uniquely hers. She smelled like home. He knew that Jane had been right earlier. It was pointless to dwell on the things that could have happened, but that smell just reminded him of how close he was to losing everything. Every piece of her was a confirmation that this wasn’t some dream like he had feared it was, and it was overwhelming.

Shepard captured his face in her hands, wiping the tears away with her thumbs, and he noticed that she too was bad at following her own advice, with tears slowly streaking her own cheeks. She wouldn’t protest anymore though. This was a catharsis for the both of them. Instead, she moved her head down to bring him in to a tender kiss as she started moving her hips slowly.

They stayed that way for a little while, setting a gentle and steady pace. Shepard ran her fingers through Kaidan’s hair, and was happy to know that he missed it just as much as she had with the hum of approval that escaped him. It had been enough to fuel her to quicken her movements, as the desperation was growing. Maybe this would happen a little faster than either of them had hoped, but for once, they would have the time to just hold each other after. It would be worth it.

Their kisses involuntarily became deeper as their movements quickened. Jane was clearly becoming a little out of breath as she had to lean out of it. Kaidan could see that part of it was definitely how much she was enjoying it, but he could tell that wasn’t the only reason. She didn’t seem like she was in pain, but it was definitely harder on her than she would have liked, straining to keep the pace.

Their position easily allowed for Kaidan to assist her. He moved his hands down to her bottom, reveling in the feel of the curves on his way. With the new leverage, he began moving her easily with her help, meeting her thrusts as much as he could in his confinement.

He could tell that Shepard was close, but also straining. He didn’t want to put her through more than she could handle, and biotics was always a quick and easy way for her to find release. So much so that he usually considered it cheating and didn’t like to overuse it. It was still always special in its own way, and if this wasn’t one of the most appropriate times to use it in bed then he didn’t know what would be.

He managed to maintain their pace with one hand free, bringing up a soft blue flare. He trailed his index finger down her torso slowly, eliciting a shiver of excitement, until he finally reached her core. He gently rubbed his knuckle over the sensitive nub, which was enough for their shared tension to release, as they came together.

They held each other without moving as their gasps for air filled the empty room. After having a few moments to calm down, Kaidan finally looked at her again.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Better than,” she said with a chuckle.

“Well, good, but I’m serious,” he also said with a chuckle.

She tried to move, and found that she was a bit stiff and her left leg was being a bit more uncooperative than usual, but other than that, she had also been serious. Everything else about her felt better. She felt reinvigorated and running on the high of endorphins. Like the last of the weight of her burdens had just been lifted.

“I don’t know if I can move, but other than that I’m fine. Really. No pain or anything, just stiff.”

Kaidan didn’t hesitate to pull himself out from under her. He helped her lay down under the covers, looking towards the wall, climbing in right next to her so he could spoon her. He made sure they were both comfortable before running his fingers through her hair, pulling it back to rest behind her ear so he could see her face. Then he rested his arm over her comfortingly. 

“I missed you so much,” Jane said, as she took his hand that was wrapped around her, giving it a kiss before hugging it to her chest.

This is when he realised that she had taken to wearing her rings on her hand for the world to see. Without having to be in battle, it was a comfort for her. A way for him to be with her while they were separated. He had done the same a long time ago and would often twirl it with his thumb as he thought of her. As he was doing now, with the arm that was resting under her head.

“Me too,” he said, as he rested his head by her shoulder, breathing her in.

They laid like that for a while in a comfortable silence. He was warm and protective and it was almost enough to lull her off to sleep, but she didn’t want to sleep this time away.

“So… you never told me you were a dog person,” Kaidan finally broke the silence.

The spontaneity of the statement was enough to bring her out of it. She was glad that he basically picked up their life right where they left off, and had so easily maintained their comfortable camaraderie.

“Where did that come from?” she asked with a laugh.

“Oh, you know… your mother and I had a long time to get to know each other. She may have told me a few stories about you.”

“Oh did she now?” Jane asked, figuring she already knew where this was going. This was a story her mother loved to repeat.

“Yeah. She told me about your first trip to Earth…”

Yup, that was the one.

“That on your last day here, you had somehow gotten your hands on a stray puppy, and smuggled it onto the ship your parents were serving on.”

Shepard laughed at that. She was very young at the time. She couldn’t have been older than five or six, but it was probably one of the earliest experiences that she actually remembered well. Her whole visit to Earth, really. It had been a short trip for some Alliance thing that her parents had been obligated to attend.

“Yeah,” she laughed out, nodding her head. “I did do that.”

“Well now you have to tell me the whole story. Your mom only told her side of it,” he said genuinely intrigued.

“You sure you want to go down this path, buddy? You know I had a lot of time alone with your mother too.”

She could feel Kaidan smiling against her shoulder, his breath warm against her skin.

“I have no shame in my upbringing. I’m sure whatever stories she told you will be fun reliving.”

“Okay then,” she said, smiling. “First of all, I would say I was more of an animal person in general, I just happened to  _ find _ a puppy. The entire time we were on Earth, any time I saw an animal, I went crazy. I had never seen them in real life before, you know. Or if I had, I would have been too young to remember. They’re not usually allowed on space ships.”

“Of course not,” he said, already amused at where this was going.

“So we were standing outside of our hotel, waiting for a skycab to take us back to the shuttle when I heard some rustling in the ally. My parents were busy talking with someone else they worked with, so I went to go look, and I saw that it was a puppy eating some garbage. I pet him, and he started licking my hand. He was so gentle and cute, and I had immediately fallen in love. I already knew what my parents would say, so I didn’t even bother asking if I could keep it.”

“I quickly checked to make sure my parents weren’t looking, and dumped everything out of my backpack except for a little stuffed dog I had. That thing was my favourite toy, I slept with it and everything, and I thought the puppy would like to have a friend. So I put the puppy in my backpack with my little stuffy, and did up the zippers just in time for the skycab to arrive, and my parents had been too distracted to even notice that I had left their side.”

“Luckily it was a relatively short ride back to the ship. Maybe 45 minutes. Thinking back to it now, it probably wasn’t the healthiest thing for the puppy, but the material my backpack was made out of was breathable, so he was fine. Want to take a guess at the only reason he had stayed quiet that whole time?”

“Did he eat your stuffed dog?” Kaidan said with a tentative smile.

Shepard laughed at his accuracy. “Well, pretty close. He hadn’t eaten it, but he had been tearing it up into shreds the whole time. So when we finally made it back to our living quarters, I opened the bag immediately to let the puppy out. I was so excited to finally have a pet, because obviously I had outsmarted everyone and now there was no way we could give the puppy up since we were back in space. So I opened up the backpack to be greeted by this little ball of fur that was just so happy to see me, only to see the filling of my stuffed dog fall all over the floor.”

“That’s when I started screaming and crying, and my parents ran into my room wondering what the hell could have happened within the two minutes that I had gone in there. Needless to say they were shocked. As an adult, my mom even admitted how impressed she was that I had managed to pull that off. Of course she never would have told that to me at the time,” Jane said with a proud smirk. “But I was livid. I didn’t want the puppy anymore, not that it would have mattered. My parents had to report it right away.”

Kaidan was laughing now, though he couldn’t help but feel sorry for the little girl he had been picturing for her entire recounting of events.

“So what happened with the puppy?” he finally managed to ask.

“See, this is where I think the story gets good, because I think I really did that dog a good service. So my parents were already upset enough as it was, but then they also saw that it was clearly a stray. He wasn’t in great condition, but I never would have known that. He had fleas and the beginnings of some mange, and was clearly underfed, so they brought him to the ship's captain immediately. We hadn’t left orbit yet, and we were waiting on requisitions before we would leave, so he would have had the ability to send the puppy back easily enough if he had wanted.”

“Instead, I think he took pity on the poor thing. He ended up adding some last minute supplies for dogs and puppies to the list of requisitions. He brought the puppy to the ship’s medical facilities, and the doctors started treating him. He became the Captain’s little companion, and followed him everywhere. I eventually warmed up to him again, and as sort of my penance, I had to take care of the dog when the Captain got busy. Not a particularly good punishment if you ask me. In a way I got exactly what I had wanted, but I wasn’t about to complain about it.”

Kaidan laughed at that. He tended to agree with that logic.

“So, I believe that means it’s your turn to explain one of your stories.”

“Alright, so what’s the best story she told you then?”

“Tell me about the first time you got drunk,” she said with a big beaming grin on her face.

“Mmm. Uh huh. I see how it is. Your story was all cute and everything, but you choose an embarrassing one for me,” he said, not really taking it seriously.

“I thought yours was cute too, but I want to hear you tell it,” she said, kissing his hand again, letting him know there was no malice in her choice of story.

“Alright. Well, I was 15, so this was before BAat. A friend of mine had come over after school, and he had brought this alcohol with him. I was really upset with him, because I had never even wanted to touch the stuff. He was being really insistent though, saying it was good, and being drunk wasn’t as bad as people say, so I finally went along with it.”

“Hmm. Sounds like a shitty friend if you ask me.”

“Nah, we were teenagers. I got him into his own fair share of trouble too. I was just always so scared of getting in trouble, so I never wanted to do anything that I thought my parents might catch. I was sure I’d never be able to hide the fact that I was drunk, which is why I didn’t ever want to tempt fate.”

“So anyway, I finally listen to him, and drink the whole bottle. I started panicking almost immediately, but it was too late, I had already finished the whole thing. So I told my friend to leave, and my parents saw him running out of the house which was very uncharacteristic of him to do without politely saying goodbye first. So obviously, my parents came up to my room to make sure everything was okay.”

“They were knocking, and I wasn’t saying anything, because I was furiously looking around where I could hide the bottle, but they were worried so they barged right in. I had quickly moved it behind my back, but I wasn’t being as sly as I thought I was, because my father saw it right away.”

“My dad quickly asked me what I was hiding, and I knew there was no way I could get out of it, so I quickly started apologizing, even crying a little bit because I was so upset that I had disappointed my parents, so I handed the bottle to my dad. He had just looked at it for a second, before bursting out into laughter, handing it to my mom, leaving her to deal with me because he couldn’t stop laughing long enough to lecture me himself.”

“My mom had a quick chuckle at it, and shook her head. I couldn’t understand their reaction. I thought I had disappointed them so much that I broke them or something. So I finally told my mom, “I’m so sorry for getting drunk behind your back! Please don’t be mad at me.” That made her laugh again.”

“That’s when she came over to me and said, “Oh, honey. You’re not drunk. This was only hard lemonade.”

That was enough to make Jane start laughing, and Kaidan even had to let out a little chuckle at how serious he had been in the situation.

“I didn’t know a thing about alcohol at the time, especially with how biotics react to it, but it was only a small bottle of 5% alcohol that I had been so worried about. So I immediately calmed down, and asked if I was in trouble, to which she replied, “Of course you are, darling,” as she patted me on the shoulder, and ushered me downstairs. That’s when they sat me down and lectured me about alcohol, and I had twice the amount of chores for a couple of days. They still let me off pretty easy since it was a relatively harmless offense.”

“Your mom left out the part that it was only hard lemonade. I have to say, that kind of makes the story. She mostly just told me that your panicking gave you away, and how much she loved you in that moment because you were such a good boy for coming forward.”

They had sat there quietly for a moment, before Shepard tightened her grip on his hand.

“Everything okay?” Kaidan asked.

“I just realised that I haven’t asked about the  _ Normandy _ yet.”

“Oh, right,” he realised then how selfish he had been in keeping her all to himself. The Normandy crew was family to both of them. They would want to see Jane just as much as she would want to see all of them.

“How many casualties?”

“EDI,” he said quietly. “And… we found Javik a few days after we crashed...”

Jane hadn’t needed Kaidan to finish or clarify what he was talking about. In her last conversation with Javik, he had already admitted to wanting to join his people. He felt that he could have no purpose in this era. Jane had desperately hoped that she would have been able to get a chance to speak with him again before he followed through with it, but she knew that with their separation, that it would have been unlikely. She regretted not telling him that he had already found purpose with them _. _ She would have tried harder if she had known she wouldn’t see him again.

She had been waiting for the list to continue, but he hadn’t said anyone else. That’s when she turned over to look him in the eye.

“No one else?” she asked hopefully.

“No one else,” he said with a bit of a sad smile. That was a good thing, but they both liked EDI. “They all knew that you at least  _ were _ alive. You were still in pretty bad condition before your mom left, so she didn’t want to make any promises. I know they’d all be eager to see you.”

“Me too. I’m kind of out of it now though. I want to be awake when I see them.”

“I’m sure they’d understand if you needed to rest first.”

She nodded, already feeling sleep wanting to overtake her. “For now, I’ll at least send a message to Miranda to update them so they’re not left in the dark.”

“They’ll appreciate that,” he said, waiting for her to send the message off.

As soon as she was done, he pulled her into him again, this time facing each other. Her head rested on his arm, his chin resting on top of her head, both hugging each other close. It didn’t take long for sleep to take either of them, and they both slept more soundly than they had since before the war had even started.


	18. A Normandy Crew Reunion

Kaidan and Jane were both abruptly woken up by knocking on the door, followed by a voice.

“Are you two decent in there?”

Jane immediately recognized it as her mother. The whole situation was very reminiscent of her adolescence. From before she went to basic and her internal alarm clock was ingrained, leaving her mother to be her 2nd and 3rd alarm clock.

“Hello? If you don’t answer me, I’m coming in whether you’re decent or not.”

Definitely her mother.

“We were sleeping, mom. Hang on, we’ll be out in a minute,” Jane said groggily.

They heard laughing from beyond the door, as Kaidan was checking his omni-tool for the time. They had managed to sleep for a few hours. It was the evening now, probably getting close to dinner time. He sat up and got dressed quickly so he could help Shepard, only to find that she was standing, doing it herself already. A bit more slowly than he had, but that was beside the point.

She noticed the look he was giving her. “I’m not entirely incapable, Kaidan.”

“I guess it’s just still hard for me to wrap my head around just how okay you are.”

She smiled at him, understanding that it was hard for him to comprehend still. Even after the time they had spent reacquainting themselves.

“Well, I’ll tell you how you  _ can _ help me.”

“Anything. What do you need?”

“Could you hand me my crutches?” she asked as she started tying her shoes.

He quickly got them and waited for her to be ready to stand.

“On good days, I already only need one of them, but after our afternoon, I wouldn’t trust myself without both of them,” she said with a big grin on her face, which Kaidan reciprocated.

“Ready?” Kaidan asked. She ran her hand through her hair, fixing it up a bit before nodding and following him out.

Her mother turned to see them exiting as she heard the door open, offering them a kind smile. She still had a look of awe adorning her features whenever she looked at Jane. She figured it would take some time for everyone to get used to the fact that she was okay. Maybe the  _ Normandy _ crew would be different, having been brought up to speed before actually seeing her.

Jane could see that her mother had changed into fatigues, likely having time to get a bit more settled. She also noticed the duffel bag waiting on the floor by the door.

“Have you already finished with the  _ Orizaba _ ?”

“No, Admiral Hackett was feeling generous. He’s delegated that to my XO so we can have time to catch up. I think he feels bad about me having to leave you so soon, even though I was the one who offered in the first place,” Hannah said as she moved her duffel bag into the room.

“Are you stealing my bed?”

“I will be, yes,” she said as she packed up the used bedding into a laundry bag and left it outside the door for maintenance to take during their rounds.

“Where am I going to stay?”

“With your husband, I assume.”

Jane gave an eye roll at that. Her mother was clearly enjoying teasing her, though she was glad for the normalcy of it.

“So where are  _ we _ going to stay then? I still can’t go that far thanks to my Physical Therapy appointments.”

“Let’s just say, you don’t even know the half of how generous Admiral Hackett is,” she said with a knowing smile. “I’m here to show you to your new quarters.”

“Oh mom, we were really hoping to go see my crew.”

“Don’t worry about that. Ada and I have been setting up a nice dinner for everyone. We’ll go right after.”

Shepard stopped in her tracks, thinking that must not have been an easy task for them to set up in only a few hours. She had barely gotten to spend a minute with her mom since returning, and she was doing all of this for her.

“Wow, mom. You really didn’t have to do all that.”

“Maybe not, but I knew how much you would want to see everyone right away. Plus, Ada and I had a lot of time that we needed to kill waiting for you,” Hannah said, turning back to wink at her daughter.

Jane was used to her mother’s teasing, and their close relationship, so she just laughed and shook her head. Kaidan was more taken aback, colour tingeing his face, as he avoided eye contact. The man definitely didn’t have a good poker face.

They finally made it to the elevator, where Shepard noticed that Hannah had pressed the button for the top floor.

“Isn’t that the officer’s deck?”

“It is, indeed.”

“No, we can’t do that. I’m not going to take a room away from an officer.”

“Well you’re in luck. If you hadn’t noticed, this ship is docked. Aside from the Captain, and one of the XO’s all of the other officers have left. They’ve been letting a lot of the doctors stay up here for now, but this room just became available.”

“You better not be implying that Hackett kicked someone out for my benefit.”

“No. There’s a real hospital about to be opened up somewhere in the Metro Vancouver area. A bunch of doctor’s left this morning. Hackett realised it would be the perfect time to let you have it,” Hannah said as she opened the door for them.

Shepard was shocked to see Liara in the room, leaning against the back of the couch, clearly waiting for them.

“Liara?!”

“By the goddess. Shepard!” she said, as she ran to give the woman a hug.

Jane quickly handed off the crutches to Kaidan, who helped her stand until Liara grabbed her into a hug.

“We weren’t sure if we’d ever see you again,” Liara said.

Jane grabbed onto her tightly, and huffed out a laugh. “I’ve been getting that a lot lately. I thought you guys would know me better by now,” she said jokingly.

Liara let go of her, making sure that Jane had a hold of herself first, as she laughed and wiped a tear away. “I suppose you have a point. How are you feeling, Shepard.”

“I’m okay. Honestly, sometimes it surprises even me to know just how okay I am. I still have work to do, obviously, but I’m alive. I don’t really have anything to complain about.”

Liara had a genuine smile on her face. It’s not like she expected her friend to be perfect, but to see her doing as well as she was, was something to be happy about. “Well, you certainly look like you’re doing well.”

“Thanks, Liara. So, what are you doing up here? I thought we were supposed to be meeting everyone for dinner.”

“Yes, everyone will be there, but I was helping your mother get your new quarters ready. Oh, and Kaidan, I already grabbed the bag you packed, and brought it up here for you.”

“Thanks, Liara. You didn’t have to do that.”

“It was nothing, Kaidan. We don’t exactly have a lot to do here at the moment. I’m sure we can be of some use shortly, but having just arrived, they still haven’t figured out what to do with us just yet. I figured I may as well be of as much help to you while I’ve got the chance. Oh, and I brought your little friend, Shepard,” she said, pointing to the hamster cage adorning the coffee table behind her.

“Oh my god, he lived? I can’t believe it!”

“Yes, though I’m afraid not all of your fish did.”

Jane cringed at the information. She didn’t exactly like hearing the news, but with her history with marine life, she had already put up a bit of a mental barrier to protect herself from the loss of her fish.

That’s when Hannah spoke up again. “So, I hope you like the space.”

That’s when Jane finally got a good look at everything. They were all standing in the tiny entryway that was right next to the small kitchenette. There was bar seating attached to it, which was right next to the meager living space. She could see the one bedroom from where they were standing, and it looked like it had a queen size bed in it. She assumed the room with the closed door would be their bathroom. Small by normal apartment standards, but a luxury for a dreadnought.

“It’s perfect, mom. I honestly feel a little bad taking it.”

“I figured you might, but Hackett decided that since you still need to stay nearby for a while, this would be more comfortable. Especially since Kaidan’s back now, it’ll give you two more privacy. He also figured the extra room would make your at home physical therapy easier. Oh, and you have to come see this,” Hannah said as she opened the one closed door in the apartment.

It opened up to a decently large sized bathroom, but as soon as her mother moved out of the way, Jane had immediately seen what she must have been talking about and let out a gasp. It was an actual tub. A nice deep one too, where you could get a good soak, without having to be bending in it awkwardly in order to even fit it in comfortably.

“I can’t remember the last time I saw a real tub on a starship. And these aren’t even the captain’s quarters. I thought this might be good for you after a hard day of therapy.”

_ ‘Or a nice relaxing way to spend an evening with Kaidan,’ _ Shepard had thought.

“If I didn’t want to see the  _ Normandy _ crew so badly, I’d almost consider cancelling the dinner plans just for that, honestly.”

Hannah wasn’t surprised at the statement. Enjoying a good soak at the end of a long day was something that she and her daughter had in common. It was a luxury that neither of them got to partake in very often lately, and she knew Jane would be happy to see that, even without the physical therapy.

“Oh, and Hackett also requisitioned some basic supplies for you both. He wasn’t sure if you’d be needing anything else. Just a couple more pairs of fatigues, pajamas, and toiletries. I’ve already put everything away. I’ll pack up the rest of your things and bring them up for you tomorrow.”

“Thanks, mom. For everything. I really appreciate what you’ve done for me.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie,” She said, rubbing her daughter’s back. She wanted to give her a hug, but she knew it wasn’t exactly easy with the crutches in the way.

“So, can we head to that dinner now? I’d really like to see everyone.”

“Of course. Apparently the cafeteria on this floor doesn’t get a lot of use thanks to all of the private kitchens up here, so I made sure to reserve it just for you guys tonight. It’s a lot smaller than the other ones, but it should suit your needs well, I think. I invited Hackett, and told Miranda to invite your other friends too,” she said as she ushered everyone out of the apartment and down the hall.

“Wow, you really thought of everything, didn’t you.”

“Just wait until you see the food. I can’t take credit for that though. That was all Ada’s department.”

The floor wasn’t as big as any of the others, so it was a relatively short walk to get to the cafeteria. Hannah paused before the doors. “Are you ready?”

Jane just nodded to her mother, as she held the door open for her.  Before she even had a chance to walk through, she saw everyone quickly become silent. They had all been helping cook, and set up the cafeteria. Her crew, efficient and purposeful as always, in everything they do. It was a bit crowded, because absolutely everyone was here, but the room would still serve its purpose well.

As she walked in, she saw a few people with tears in their eyes, namely Sam, and she swore Tali, but who really knew with her. But mostly everyone broke out into cheers and applause. She handed off the crutch from her good side to Kaidan so she could walk around giving people hugs as best she could while still relying on one crutch.

The more people she went through, the more the room already started returning back to normal, people resuming what they were doing. She could already see Campbell and Westmoreland deep in conversation, as they usually would be. She was happy to see that they had included Diana too, almost worrying that they wouldn’t allow press onto the ship.

“Commander,” Diana said.

“It’s good to see you here. I’m glad they allowed you on.”

“Yes, well, not without signing another non-disclosure agreement,” she said, as they both laughed.

“Of course not.”

“I just want to say, I’m glad I didn’t have to write that obituary after all.”

“Not more than I am, I assure you,” she said, as she remembered the email that Diana had sent her before the final push, offering to send her off right should the worst happen.

“Thank you, Commander. For everything you’ve done.”

Shepard nodded. She still didn’t like being thanked. She didn’t like the attention, but it was something she would just have to deal with and get used to. “It was a team effort, Allers. I’m glad you were a part of it.”

Shepard gave her a quick hug too before noticing Joker sitting at a table alone. She knew she would need to have a talk with him. She was hoping it would have been in private, but she had to at least address him now.

She walked over, and he noticed her immediately. He had crutches leaning against his chair. She couldn’t remember the last time she actually saw him using them. Having Vrolik Syndrome meant it wasn’t exactly unusual, but he was able to manage walking without them most of the time. It wasn’t until she got closer that she saw that one of his legs was in a cast.

“Hey, Commander,” he said, offering his hand to shake. “Sorry, I’d get up but my foot is killing me right now.”

“Don’t worry about, Joker. I can understand the sentiment right now,” she said, as she sat down in the chair across from him.

“Yeah, I saw you coming in, trying to encroach on my crutch game.”

Shepard laughed at that. “Sorry. I didn’t think I had to worry about showing anyone up.”

Joker offered her a smile. “Seriously though, Shep. You have no idea how good it is to see you.”

“Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea. Likewise, Joker.”

Shepard looked down at her hands, trying to figure out what exactly to say.

“Look, Joker. We should really talk. Now’s not the best time--.”

“It’s okay, Shepard,” he said, cutting her off.

“No, you don’t understand. There’s something we should really discuss.”

“No, I do understand. Hackett came to me earlier wanting a debrief on the  _ Normandy _ . After I told him about what happened to it, and about EDI, he explained everything. And I mean,  _ everything. _ Even some stuff that he told me he kept out of the reports. So I know what you’re going to say.”

“That really wasn’t his place. I’m sorry you had to hear about it that way.”

“Honestly, I don’t think he knew that EDI and I were a thing, otherwise he probably would have left it to you. I think he just figured it would be better for us to know what happened so we might be able to debrief people better about what’s wrong with the  _ Normandy. _ Don’t blame him.”

Shepard nodded. “I really am sorry, Joker. I hope you know that EDI and the geth were the only reason that I even hesitated in my decision. I really did care about her.”

“I know you did, Shep. She would tell me about your talks. About how much she appreciated that you treated her like a person. How patient you were with her,” he said, shedding a tear.

Jane moved her hand across the table, to hold his in solidarity.

“Damn it, Jane. I loved her.” The tone of his voice made her recoil slightly. She knew he’d be mad, but she would have to deal with it. She tightened her grip on his hand to let him know that she wasn’t going anywhere.

“I’m sorry.”

“No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to sound like it was your fault. I’m just pissed as hell that she’s gone. I don’t blame you.”

Jane nodded in acknowledgement. “For what it’s worth, I know she loved you too. During one of our talks, she told me that she would risk non-functionality for you.”

“I know. But thanks for saying it.”

“Are you okay?”

“No. Not really, but I will be.”

“I’m here for anything you need, okay. I mean it,” she said as she started to stand up to leave.

He finally stood up now too, and gave her a hug.

“Thanks, Shep.”

She patted him on the shoulder before moving on to meet up with Kaidan again. He was talking to Garrus and Tali, who had patiently been waiting for their turn. Two of her best friends. Two of the people that stuck it out with her through everything. She grabbed them both into a deep hug at the same time.

“Spirits, Shepard. You gave us quite the scare.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Tali was still crying a bit. “Damn it. I hate crying in my suit. I’m going to have to go find a clean room and rinse it out now. And I can’t see anything because of all the tears.”

“Well, I’m sorry about that too,” Shepard said with a grin.

Garrus wrapped his arm around Tali to try to comfort her. Shepard had always suspected that their relationship was deeper than “blowing off steam” as Garrus would put it, so she wasn’t exactly surprised.

“So you are still together,” she said with a big dumb grin.

“I may have been trying to distance myself a bit before the end of the war,” Tali said, looking up at Garrus. “I was never just using him for his body.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” Garrus said, his voice turning all sultry. “I think you use me for my body quite a bit,” which got him an elbow in the gut. The one time he wasn’t wearing armor. “Heh. Sorry,” he said getting back to his more serious self. “No, we really love each other,” he said looking back down at her. He looked totally enamored, and Jane loved it.

“Good. I’m really happy for you. I knew you’d be good together.”

“Thanks, Shepard,” Tali said, before Garrus lowered his head to touch Tali’s faceplate.

They seemed just as happy as she was right now, which said a lot. Finding someone to spend your life with was a special thing, and she was glad that her friends had managed to find that in each other, not to mention in the midst of hardships.

That’s when everyone finally moved on to eating dinner. Kaidan had let Shepard sit down as he grabbed her a tray. Hannah was right, the food was amazing. Ada had recently been in touch with her neighbours from the Okanagan. They had a cattle ranch that was miraculously still in good enough condition to be functional already. Their place was only 20 minutes away by shuttle. Ada had requested a care package from them while she and Hannah were eating lunch, so she could make everyone a big dinner with real meat. There was a feast of fresh food featuring steaks and hamburgers. Kaidan’s version of heaven. It was a luxury that none of them had gotten since before the war.

Kaidan sat down next to Shepard, and her original  _ Normandy _ crew had quickly taken the seats surrounding them. This is when they all finally had the chance to go into detail about their time apart. Shepard told them about how lucky she was to even be alive, and that her therapy sessions were tough but going well.

Kaidan and their friends told her about how they had crashed on Sur’Kesh, and how lucky that was since they still hadn’t managed to fix the  _ Normandy _ since then, so it was one of the best places they could have crashed. That’s also when Joker had said that he was being an idiot at one point trying to fix something and a piece of equipment dropped on his foot, which is how he’d broken it.

As soon as dinner had finished, someone had managed to hack the speakers and put on some music. Her crew pushed all of the tables and chairs out of the way and started to party  _ Normandy _ style.

Shepard obviously couldn’t have much fun on the dance floor in her state, though her dancing always seemed to leave something to be desired anyway. At least that’s how she usually felt about it. Everyone else seemed to complain enough, so she graced the dance floor with her presence for one dance even more awful than usual with her crutches in the way before going to sit down. Kaidan had joined her, not wanting to leave her alone. She wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to dance when she couldn’t, but she also wouldn’t complain if he wanted to sit with her so she could cuddle up to him, resting her head on his shoulder. She liked seeing her friends happy and having fun. It had been a rarity, but maybe not anymore.

They sat like that for a while enjoying the view, until her mother finally came over to them offering them both a cup of coffee. Kaidan politely declined and told her to keep it so she and Jane could visit for a bit. Instead, he took the opportunity to ask his mother if she wanted to dance, and they went off to go have their own bonding time.

“I was really hoping to talk to Jacob tonight. Is he not here?” Hannah asked as she sat down.

“No, Brynn got a job with her team trying to help fix the tech on the Citadel. Jacob tagged along to help with the rebuilding. They left a few days ago.”

“Sounds like an important job. Good for them.”

“You didn’t want to go dance?” Jane asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Oh gods, no. You happen to get your dancing from me, I’m afraid,” Hannah laughed out.

“Hmm. Well now I at least know who to blame. I don’t know though, mom. It can still be fun if you have someone to dance with.”

“Oh really? And who might you be suggesting I dance with?”

“Admiral Hackett has been eyeing you up all night.”

“Ha! He’s far too young for my tastes. He’s 8 years my junior for crying out loud. Not to mention my boss.”

“I don’t know, in my experience workplace relationships can be kind of fun,” Jane said, teasing her mother.

“Yes, well yours happened to be accompanied by the thrill of breaking the regs. With Hackett, I’d be too afraid that It would feel too much like I’m mothering him.”

“Maybe you should give him a chance. He may be younger than you, but I think he’s wise beyond his years. Handsome too if you ask me.”

“Quit ogling other men, and be happy with what you have already.”

Jane laughed at how easily it was to perturb her mother still. Though that wasn’t her original intention. She wanted her to be happy, and figured she could benefit from a new relationship.

“I just want you to be happy, mom. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen you with anyone else since Dad died.”

“I’ll have you know that I’ve had my fair share of dalliances since your father, young lady,” she huffed out. “It’s been more than 20 years, I’m not a saint.”

“Wow, mom. You’ve been holding out on me.”

“Yes, well you don’t need to know  _ everything _ about me. I just happened to be very good at hiding it from you. No one ever got serious enough for you to need to know about anyway.” She paused for a moment before continuing. “Honestly though, it has been a while. There hasn’t been much time to be focusing on such things.”

“So maybe at least go dance with him. Don’t take it seriously, just see where it goes. If he’s too boyish for you, just leave it at that.”

“Maybe you’re right. But in a minute. I want to spend a little more time with you first.”

“Okay,” she said as they both took a few sips of their coffee. Jane could tell that Hannah wanted to prod at something, but the possibilities were endless. She opted to wait and let her mother get it out in her own time.

“So… Admiral Hackett told me that he took you off of active duty. Are you okay?”

“Hmm… he’s been telling a lot of people a lot of things by the sound of it.”

“Please don’t be mad at him. It was for a good reason, I promise. Besides, it’s confidential between admirals right now, it’s not like he’s going around telling everyone.”

“I guess I’ll take your word for it. I’m not really mad though. I think he’s just doing his best under the circumstances. He’s been good to me since you’ve been gone, so I can’t really be mad at him.”

“Good. But that doesn’t really answer my question. How are you doing, sweetie? I mean how are you really doing?”

“Truthfully, I wasn’t quite as bothered by that news as I thought I’d be. It still wasn’t the easiest thing to hear, but it’s not the end of the world.”

“Good. How about everything else?”

Jane looked out to her crew having fun, hesitating for a moment before deciding to just be honest. “It hasn’t all been easy. I don’t care so much about the physical stuff. It’s taking a lot of work, but that will all heal. It’s the guilt that’s been a lot harder to deal with. Especially with everyone calling me a hero around every corner. I feel like some impostor.”

“Are you talking to anyone?”

“I’ve been seeing a therapist.”

“Good. Has it been helping?”

“Yes. I don’t think I’d be in anywhere near as good of shape if she hadn’t helped me snap out of it.”

“Well, good. I’m glad it’s helping. I don’t think I can compare my experiences with yours to any degree, but do you remember Zabaleta?”

“Of course. He served with you on the Einstein.”

“Yes, that’s him. He may have had the worst reaction to the events on Mindoir, but it took a toll on everyone. We were all in a dark place after that, but I think I was lucky because I saw how quickly it could spiral out of control thanks to watching him. I got help right away. Found someone I could talk to. I had you to think of too after all. You were only in high school at the time. I think that made the difference between me being here now, instead of sitting right next to Zabaleta.”

Jane nodded her head in understanding. Of course her mother would have had her own demons to deal with. Hannah had always been such a picture of strength, which she admired, but at the moment, Jane had also admired knowing that her mother was still human. Something more easy to relate to. Not the invincible superhero every child looks up to their parents as. If anything it showed even more strength that she had recognized the need for help and sought it out.

“It won’t heal overnight, but just promise me one thing. Promise me that if you’re ever feeling bad, you remember this night. You remember that all of these people are here for you. You brought them together, and made them a family. They care about you, and would do anything for you. I hope that goes without saying that it applies to me too. If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here for you.”

“Thanks, mom. I know. I’ve already used them to help me get through a few rough nights. Especially the thought of you and Kaidan.”

“Well good. We’ll all get through this together. I love you, sweetie,” she said while giving her hand a squeeze.

“I love you too, mom,” she said while reciprocating it. “Now, will you get out of here already and ask that poor man to dance?”

Hannah rolled her eyes, and went to stand up. “Alright, already,” she said as she went to leave.

“Have fun!” she yelled after her mother. Hannah just shook her head without looking back. She witnessed her mother talking to Hackett for all of two seconds before he escorted her to the dance floor like a true gentleman. Then instead of dancing like crazy like all of Jane’s younger peers, he held her close, and moved side to side slowly, as though it were a slow dance, listening to their own music.  _ ‘Oh, he is smooth.’ _ Then she looked over to Kaidan being outright silly with his mother and Samantha. It was a stark comparison, but she wouldn’t change a thing. Kaidan flashed her a grin, and she couldn’t help but think that she was the luckiest woman in the galaxy.


	19. The Orchard

It had been 6 weeks since Hannah returned to Earth with the  _ Orizaba _ . It was 6 weeks of pure wedded bliss for Shepard and Kaidan, in their tiny apartment aboard the medical ship. With Jane still on medical leave, and Kaidan working close by, it gave them a lot of time to sample the life that they had dreamed about. They had a home to come back to and share at the end of the day, even if it was only a temporary one.

On particularly long or hard days, they would go to the cafeteria for dinner, but most of the time they opted to stay inside, cooking whatever provisions had been handed out that week. Sometimes Ada would sneak them the good meat from a shipment from her neighbours along with some apples from the Alenko orchard whenever the neighbours were able to make it out that far.

Some nights they would invite friends over. They would have a game night with Samantha, Liara, Gabby and Ken. They also hosted movie nights with Tali and Garrus. They alternated visits with cheesy romance vids for Tali and Kaidan, or awful action ones for Garrus and Shepard. Every once and a while they would fit Joker in as a fifth wheel and watch a comedy. They had a lot of vids to catch up on from the previous years.

James would come over to help Jane get a workout in whenever he had the time. He would be shipping out for N7 training in a few weeks, so he wanted to fit in as much time as he could with them. Joker had recently gotten out of his cast, so he and Jane even started coordinating their physical therapy together, grabbing a coffee in the cafeteria after.

Once a week they would have family dinners with their mothers. Sometimes Miranda would tag along with Oriana. Jane enjoyed every minute with her friends. She liked being able to spend time with these people without being their boss, or someone’s patient. Just getting to know them better as people.

The time she really reveled in though, was the time she got to spend alone with Kaidan. He helped Jane do her stretches before bed every night, and more often than not it led to them not being able to keep their hands off of each other, which usually meant that she needed to stretch again properly in the morning. The more the better really, so it wasn’t an issue. Jane made sure to take advantage of the bathtub whenever she got the chance while they had it. Sometimes Kaidan would join her. Those were the best times.

Jane had been doing so well that she could walk by herself without crutches on good days. She still had a limp, and if she knew she’d be on her feet for a long time, she’d still use one on her bad side, but for the most part she wasn’t reliant on it anymore. In fact, Jane’s physical and emotional recovery had been going so well that her doctors had approved her for light work and travel as long as she felt up to it.

She and Kaidan had decided to make a quick trip with Hannah and Ada to the Orchard. Ada had been wanting to go and assess the damage and fix the place up a bit, and she figured now would be the best time since everyone could go. She could show the place off to Jane and Hannah, and she would have more people with her just in case something had gone seriously wrong.

Ada had never planned on being the one to have to run the orchard by herself, and she had found that she was quite fond of getting back into nursing. Even so, the fact remained that an orchard was a good producer of food, and at the moment, it was a resource that was needed, and growing, but no one was taking advantage of it.

She had come up with the idea to let one of the refugee families run the place and try to make a bit of a living while they were stuck here. At the end of the day, they would be helping each other out. She would be giving a family livelihood and purpose, and they would be giving her someone to look after the family property, and make sure the trees didn’t die off thanks to lack of maintenance.

Ada wouldn’t give it to just anyone, but she had already had a family in mind that would be perfect. It was technically two families because the husband’s brother also had his family there, so there would be enough people to look after everything. They had been living in the tents, but would come in for medical treatment quite regularly since they had a new baby. Ada had quickly become attached to them, and would regularly see them cooking food and dispersing it for other people around the camp. It was obvious that they were hard working, generous people, and she felt like she could trust them. It’s not like there were many belongings at the Orchard that she really cared about or could easily be stolen anyway, so she figured the risk was small for trying to do something good for someone else. But she wanted to check things over, making sure there would even be something to offer them first.

The house was in  _ mostly _ good condition. The neighbours had neglected to tell Ada that there was a dead reaper that had landed in between their properties. That was a bit of a shock to come home to, but at least it also explained why one of the upstairs rooms had looked like a reaper beam had gone through it. There was a gaping hole in the corner of the room, with singed edges, but the rest of the house had looked almost entirely untouched from the outside.

Shepard had become particularly attached to one of the neighbours cows that had made its way through a hole in the fence by the reaper. It was quite the comedic view. A cow eating fallen apples in front of a giant, dead space octopus like it was no big deal, with beautiful green and brown valleys surrounding them. That cow had the right idea. If Shepard’s life had been different, she could almost see herself settling here, though she could do without the reaper lawn ornament. At the very least it would be nice to come visit from time to time.

As they went inside, it looked mostly okay, but a family of birds had taken over the top floor, which they had to shoo away, and clean up after. Other than that it was in pretty good shape. The house battery and solar panels were almost all still functional, so there was still electricity. A lot of dust and debris had flown in through the hole in the house, but it didn’t extend much further than the room with the hole in it. They also saw that there was a lot of water damage extending to the room below from rain. Both of those were jobs too big for any of them to deal with, so they just sealed off both rooms being affected, and Kaidan had nailed down a few tarps to try to minimize more water damage until they could find someone to fix it.

Kaidan and Hannah were the ones doing the brunt of the manual labour, nailing boards up, and maintaining as much of the property as they could before they were going to return back to Abbotsford in a few days. Ada and Jane did the more menial tasks, like cleaning and cooking. Ada even showed her how to make an apple pie from scratch. Jane had never felt more domestic in her life, but she was having a lot of fun with it.

Shepard had brought her clone’s ashes with her, just in case this felt like the right place to finally let go. She was glad that she had, because being here felt right. Her clone may not have been her family, but she had been brought into this galaxy under unfair circumstances, and Jane felt somewhat responsible. This was probably the closest thing that the clone could have had to a family, and at least being released here would hold memory for the people that had come to value her existence. Jane didn’t particularly think that the clone would appreciate any of the sentiment, but it didn’t particularly matter.

They had all been there to release her ashes at the foot of a big oak tree in the front of the house. For Jane, she thought it would be a nice reminder of how precious life was and how close she was to losing it. Every time she would come here she would be humbled to know that she wasn’t the only one who had made sacrifices to get here, and be grateful for this person’s immorally short life, granting Jane the rest of hers.

Close to the end of the week, Kaidan and Hannah had come in from a hard day of work to wash up for the dinner that Ada and Jane had prepared. Shepard couldn’t help but feel guilty for not being able to help more, but they had informed her that they had finally gotten the hover mower working, so she could have more to do tomorrow. She was looking forward to it.

Jane and Ada had finished setting the table as everyone helped bring the food out. They all sat down to their customary family dinner while they were here. The food out here was much better than at the temporary Alliance headquarters. Most of the foods there were canned goods, MRE’s or freeze dried, re-hydrated mush, save for the occasional care package from the neighbours.

Out here they were right next to the source though. Their neighbours had even started raising a few chickens, so there were fresh eggs. Breakfast for dinner was always a fun choice, especially since no one had eaten eggs in a long time, so it was an easy choice for everyone. Kaidan was the only one that added a steak to his meal thanks to his exorbitant appetite.

The local community had even started running a farmer’s market, which Jane and Ada had gone to earlier in the day to pick up fresh produce. They had fresh potatoes to make handmade hash browns. There was also fresh cucumber, onions and tomatoes that Jane had made into a salad. It didn’t exactly match well with the breakfast food, but fresh vegetables were also a luxury that they weren’t about to pass up.

Everyone had been so hungry that they hadn’t said a word to each other for the entire dinner except to say how good it was. As everyone finally moved on to dessert, and started slowing down their pace, Ada had finally cleared her throat, preparing to say something.

“So, I’ve come to a bit of a realisation over the last few days.”

“What’s that, mom?” Kaidan asked, swallowing a bite.

“I’ve still been treating this house as mine. I’ve been trying to prepare it for this new family to take over, but I seemed to have forgotten that this is an Alenko residence. It’s not even from my side of the family and I’ve just taken it over. You’re married now, Kaidan, it should really be yours if you want it.”

Kaidan and Shepard just stared at each other for a moment. It had made her realise that they had just been living happily without actually putting much thought into it. They hadn’t been making plans for their future or figuring out what they wanted to do. Granted, it might be an easier decision if she knew what Admiral Hackett had in store for her, but it’s not like her future was necessarily conditional on whatever he had to say. She and Kaidan should have at least been discussing it. She hadn’t even told him about being pulled from active duty. She wasn’t purposely keeping it from him, it’s just that for once her life she had been so happy that she kept forgetting about it when he was around.

“Not to mention, it’s big. Plenty of room to settle down,” she said, giving them a sly, yet hopeful look.

Kaidan half choked on his food at the insinuation.

“Thanks for the offer mom, but you should really be the one to keep it for now,” Kaidan said, after having a drink of water. “It doesn’t matter that it came from dad’s side or not, it’s still your house. I don’t think we were really planning on retiring just yet, anyway. I’m guessing we’ll be back on the  _ Normandy _ pretty soon.”

Ada had let out a little huff of disappointment. She wasn’t really upset or anything, just eager for grandkids. “Well okay. But you should know that the offer is there. Though, even if you do change your mind, I’m not about to kick out a deserving refugee family, so you better be sure before I offer it to them. At least talk it over before we get back to Abbotsford,” she said as she stood, starting to clear the table.

“We will, Ada. Thank you,” Shepard said, which got her a smile of appreciation.

Hannah got up to start clearing the table too. She saw the look her daughter had gotten after the offer. It was clearly her contemplating face, and she figured that Jane and Kaidan had some talking to do. “Why don’t you two go out by the fire pit or something, and talk. I’ll help Ada clean up today.”

“Thanks mom. We’ll make up for it tomorrow,” Jane said, as she and Kaidan both got up to go outside.

It was already getting chilly out, so she made sure to grab her N7 hoodie on the way out. Kaidan almost always ran hot, so the chill in the air was refreshing. Kaidan immediately went to lighting the fire, as Jane sat down on one of the bench swings they had set up around the fire. She sat down and immediately started using her left leg to push off against the stone wall of the fire pit gently. Kaidan was amused at how natural it had become for her to work it out in any way she could. It was probably the only reason it was doing as well as it was.

This had quickly become Jane’s favourite thing to do while they were here. She loved sitting outside in the fresh air, with the warmth of the fire. It was refreshing. But even still, Kaidan could see that she had clearly been thinking about the offer more than he had thought she would. The fire had gotten to a nice comfortable size, so he finally sat down next to her, allowing her to rest against his shoulder. She didn’t stop pushing the swing, until after Kaidan had decided to talk.

“So, you look like you were actually considering the house more than I thought you would. Was I wrong to reject it?”

“No, it’s not that. I guess it just made me start thinking about things.”

“Like what?”

Shepard looked down at their intertwined fingers, and couldn’t help a feeling of guilt from forming. “I’ve been keeping something from you. It wasn’t really on purpose, it just never really came up.”

“What is it?” he asked, clearly starting to get concerned.

“Hackett pulled me from active duty. Indefinitely.”

“What? Why? You’re doing so much better.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of what I thought too, but Dr. Michel thinks differently apparently. I don’t think it’s all bad. I’ll be capable of living a totally normal life. I’m lucky in a way, but she thinks that I won’t ever reach the performance level that I used to be capable of. She’s afraid that makes me a risk.”

“That sounds kind of ignorant to me.”

“I don’t know. Part of me thinks it’s too early to tell for sure, but a bigger part of me thinks she’s probably right. Even more than that though, I kind of think that Hackett feels guilty about everything he’s put me through over the  years. I think he hates the thought of me being able to come through that war, only to potentially be brought down by some pirates or something. I can’t necessarily say that I blame him.”

“When you put it that way, I can’t really blame him either.  But are you really okay with this?”

“The more time we’ve had to be together, I think I’m realising that I really am.”

Kaidan smiled at the sentiment. He’d really been enjoying their time together too. He had never imagined anything quite like it. A large part of him thought they’d be old soldiers together for a while longer if they had made it through the war. But his idea of their future together was easily malleable as long as she was in it.

“So what, then? Did you actually want to retire?”

“No,” she laughed out. “I didn’t say that. Though, if this really is our retirement plan, I have to say, it is a bit more tempting than I would have thought. Honestly I guess it’s just made me realise that I have time to figure it out. Although, you should know, Hackett has already hinted at some kind of promotion. He said he’ll talk to me more about it after the awards ceremony in a week.”

“Ah. I guess I really should have expected as much. If anyone deserves it, it’s you. I think it goes without saying that I’ll follow you anywhere.”

“Same goes for you, you know. I shouldn’t be the one deciding everything.”

“No, maybe not. How about we just see what happens after the awards ceremony and go from there?”

“Sounds good to me,” she said, settling into his side a bit more. “This really is an amazing place, Kaidan. I can see us growing old here.”

He kissed the top of her head, before leaning his own against it. “Can’t wait,” he said as they relaxed together, watching the fire.


	20. Where Credit is Due

Today was finally the day that the Alliance was holding their awards ceremony. Jane wasn’t sure why they had decided to wait so late, but she couldn’t really complain. She already knew that she would be receiving at least one award, and the extra time had allowed her to heal enough that she knew she would be able to walk across the stage without crutches.

Plus, the delay had given her and Kaidan more time to just be together. Their trip to the orchard had been wonderful. Being out in the fresh air had done wonders. For now, they had decided to pass on taking it for themselves. Even if they had wanted to retire, which they hadn’t, they wouldn’t be able to take care of everything by themselves, and it made sense to let someone else be the caretakers for a while.

Even as much as they had enjoyed themselves there, they hadn’t gotten much time alone with both of their mothers hanging around. Having an extra week back in their apartment before the awards ceremony was nice. Jane knew that Hackett was going to be talking to her soon enough about her future in the Alliance, so she knew it might be their last chance to just relax with each other for a while. It had been nice, but Jane was also starting to feel restless and wanting to help in some way again.

She would likely not even need to wait a few hours to find out about her next assignment though, as the awards ceremony was set to start any moment. The Alliance had fixed up an old stage theater nearby, purely to use for their purposes tonight. She could already hear that it was a full house, as she was standing outside of the back, centre auditorium doors dressed in her freshly pressed Alliance issue skirt and blazer.

They had only just been informed half an hour ago that there was going to be a particular focus on the  _ Normandy _ crew, so they would be seated on the stage, and they were requesting a grand entrance as names would be called, which is what they were all waiting for now. Even her non-Alliance,  _ Normandy _ comrades were going to be honoured today. Jane wouldn’t have expected anything less after what they had contributed to the war.

That’s when the events coordinator signaled for everyone to get ready, starting with lowest rank first, with her ground crew going in just before James and Kaidan and ending with Commander Shepard. Everyone remained standing until after Admiral Hackett had finished with the introductions

“I sincerely want to thank everyone here today. Everyone had a part to play in this war, but we were the ones on the front lines, defending our home, and making the final push. Without all of your dedication and sacrifice we likely wouldn’t be here today. Each and every one of you had an important role to play, and you’re all deserving of recognition. Thank you all for your service.”

Hackett had gone on to start awarding the lower ranks being clear to point out the people who went above and beyond the call to serve. The ones who were injured in the line of duty, and the ones who sacrificed themselves for the cause. It was a long list, and one that likely wasn’t even finished, only the ones that they knew about so far. They could always make amendments later.

He had finally finished off the long lists with a congratulations before continuing to special distinctions.

“Miranda Lawson,” he called. She had been sitting next to Hannah in the front row, and had gotten up to receive her award. “You have hereby been officially accepted into the ranks of Alliance Air Force and the Alliance Scientific Division. For your service in the war, we award you with the Airforce Defense Service Medal. With your scientific efforts since the war, we would also like to award you, and your team who couldn’t be here today with the Hitara Prize for Biology. Your hard work and dedication to your field will provide us with a stronger future for our injured soldiers. Thank you,” he said as he shook her hand and posed for a holo.

Jane was overjoyed by her friends accomplishments. There was a time that she thought Miranda would never leave Cerberus, but now, here she was, joining the Alliance with nothing but pride. Jane knew that it would likely take Miranda time to adjust to having more strict regulations, but she knew her conscience would thank her in the long run.

Then he had called up a few other people. Some Jane knew, and a lot she didn’t. She was happy to see Major Coats there, receiving a promotion to General. The man definitely deserved it.

“Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard,” he said, waiting for her to come to the stage. “You are hereby awarded the Palladium Star. At this time we would also like to recognize your efforts as one of the leaders of the Crucible project by promoting you to Admiral.”

Jane wasn’t so surprised that her mother had been promoted. She was good at what she did, and she had carried a lot of the burden to help everyone through the war. She was certainly deserving, but Jane also couldn’t help but figure that the Alliance had a lot of personnel needing to be replaced too. She herself had witnessed the entire Vancouver branch’s Admiralty board die from a reaper beam pretty much the moment the war started. Everyone’s efforts during the war proved their mettle though, so there would be no shortage of people to choose from to go up in the ranks.

Jane was however slightly surprised that her mother looked like she had been expecting the news, not thinking that she would have kept this from her had she known. She was also a little surprised to see a bit of a twinkle in her eye, when she shook his hand. After the  _ Normandy _ reunion dinner, she hadn’t heard much about the two of them, and figured her mother couldn’t get over the age difference. Maybe she had been wrong. With the amount of teasing that woman berated her with, she would have to be expecting payback about it pretty soon.

As the ceremony progressed to her crew mates, Jane felt an immense sense of fulfillment watching each of them take the stage hearing of their specific accomplishments. Her entire team had all received the Star of Terra, in addition to the Palladium Star and Galactic Union Citation. The last two technically being awards from the council, and the last one being the highest honour they could have possibly gotten, and exceptionally rare to give out.

Gabby, Ken and Adams were all awarded with the Einstein Medal and the Tesla Medal for their special achievements in physics and engineering respectively. Gabby was given special recognition thanks to her tip that helped the Crucible project.

When James went up, he was presented with a promotion to Commander. Kaidan was also promoted to General. Jane was exceptionally happy at that news, because he had worked hard too during the war. She was glad to see that her hero status wasn’t overshadowing everyone else’s contributions. The tiniest bit of her competitive side made her a bit jealous though. She was hoping to be promoted to Captain so they would technically be the same rank, but it was a fleeting thought and all in good fun anyway. Truly, there was nothing but happiness for him.

“Commander Jane Shepard,” Hackett had called out signalling her turn to grace the platform.

She stood at parade rest, as Admiral Hackett listed off all of the same medals the rest of her crew had gotten.

“In addition to the Alliance medals, Each of the council races have passed on some of their highest distinctions. From the turians, you are awarded with the Nova Cluster. From the salarians, you are awarded with the Star of Sur’Kesh. From the asari you are awarded the Medal of Athame. The council has informed me to present these honours on the basis of your extraordinary ability to unite races, feuding and allied alike, in times of extreme adversity. Your hard work has made you a true ambassador of the Milky Way.”

“At this time, I would like to inform you of your promotion to Admiral.”

With those words, Shepard’s mind went blank. She remained in parade rest like the good soldier she was. He said Admiral. Not even Rear Admiral. She couldn’t have heard that right, could she? That would mean she was about to skip over two entire ranks at once. That was completely unheard of. The closest thing that had ever happened like that before was only to Admiral Hackett himself, but even he hadn’t managed to do that.

She saw the smile of absolute pride on her mother’s face. It wasn’t a face of shock, just happiness. The woman was clearly too good at keeping secrets. The thought was enough to bring her back to the moment, and finish listening to Hackett.

“With this promotion you have officially broken the record for fastest advancement within the Systems Alliance. At the risk of bragging, I would like to state that the previous record had been set by none other than myself, but I am ecstatic to be passing that honour on to you now.”

“For your undeniable performance in leadership, and perseverance throughout the last few years, you have proven your abilities beyond a reasonable doubt. Through constant adversity, hardships and leaderships that wouldn’t heed your warnings, you pushed on. You always maintained your stance, and fought for what you believed in. Your extreme power to empathize and your knack for diplomacy has provided you with skills to end centuries long wars. You know what it is to be in the middle of a battlefield. You know what it is to sacrifice. You know what it is to dedicate everything to the cause. All of these attributes will suit you perfectly in your new role. Congratulations, Admiral Shepard,” he finally said, handing her the large case of new medals she proudly displayed for the holo that they swiftly took with Hackett shaking her hand.

She moved to sit back down again. The shock of it all had brought her limp back out slightly, but she managed to make it back fine, albeit with a blank stare adorning her face. Her entire team had been looking at her shocked, but she hadn’t noticed. She had been too flabbergasted to think of much of anything. She now shared the same rank as her mother for crying out loud. They happened to have both earned it on the same day. Something just felt wrong about that.

Jane had almost thought that they must have been leaving her for the end, which she would have been thankful for because the jolt of information was making her feel lightheaded, and she would have preferred this to be over and done with sooner rather than later. Instead, she saw Admiral Hackett preparing for something else, so she figured she would just have to rely on her calming techniques for now.

“Last but not least, I would like to welcome Councilor Tevos to make a few announcements,” Hackett said as he stepped to the side, offering Tevos the podium.

“Thank you, Admiral Hackett. Firstly, I would like to congratulate you all on your exemplary service, and secondly I would like to thank the Alliance for allowing us to use this event to make some announcements.”

“To start off however, I would like to make a statement. The council would like to formally thank the  _ Normandy _ and all of it’s crew for spearheading this war. We have come to the understanding that your one ship has taught us something extremely valuable that we need to remember now more than ever. Under Admiral Shepard’s command, you have provided a ship run without prejudice. Even in your early days, you took on multiple races without question, because you knew it was better not to turn away help when it was offered. Your ship has run more smoothly and with more purpose than any ever seen before its time, and we believe that a lot of that comes from a greater level of understanding between species developed by the bonds maintained throughout your shared service.”

“Now, we would like to announce that the Council has developed a new branch of military, deemed the Milky Way Interspecies Initiative. It is being developed with the focus of intergalactic peacekeeping, and diplomacy in mind. Now is the time to remember that we only made it this far through cooperation, and teamwork. Our way forward is together. At this time, I would like to call back to the stage, Jane Shepard, Garrus Vakarian, Liara T’Soni, Tali’Zorah Vas Normandy, and Urdnot Wrex.”

She waited for all of them to line up before continuing.

“Today, I would like to announce that you are the first members of the MWII. You are hereby being granted this distinction due to your proven service throughout your time serving aboard the  _ Normandy _ . We will leave the choice up to you whether you decide to make this an active role or not, but the honour of being the first to carry the distinction is now bestowed upon all of you. Congratulations on becoming the symbols for the continuation of our allied futures.”

Jane had suddenly become aware of why the ceremony had been delayed so long. It was likely so the council could work out the details with all of that first.

This is when everyone returned to their seats and waited for Admiral Hackett to finish off the ceremony. Jane had instantaneously gone from no work for months to two new jobs all at once. It was a lot to take in, but she truly did feel honoured. She already knew for herself how much better things were when you were collaborative thanks to her multi species crew. Personally, Jane thought the MWII was a terrific idea, if not a bit of a pipe dream. Peacetime never lasted forever, but maybe this would at least help.

As everyone started to disperse, Jane just stayed seated, afraid to move, feeling like she might actually pass out. It wasn’t until Kaidan rubbed her shoulder that she noticed he had been trying to talk to her.

“Jane? Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

“I don’t know, just give me a minute,” she said, as she tried to use her breathing techniques to calm down. It wasn’t enough, and she actually had to bend over trying to get the thunderous rushing noises in her head to stop.

This is when Hannah and Ada came over. “Is she okay? Do we need to call a doctor?” Hannah asked.

Ada went over to check her pulse, and tried to feel her forehead to see if there was a temperature. She could feel that her pulse was beginning to calm, but was waiting for Jane to respond.

“I’m fine,” she managed to say almost sounding entirely normal.

Ada seemed satisfied enough with that. “I think she’s just in a bit of shock,” she said addressing the worried onlookers. “Sit down as long as you need,” she said, rubbing Jane’s shoulder.

This is when Admiral Hackett came to the front of the group. “Would you all mind if I had a minute alone?”

Everyone seemed a little tentative, but eventually agreed. They wouldn’t be far anyway, and Hackett would be there should anything really go wrong.

Hackett took a seat beside Jane, and allowed her another moment to compose herself.

“I remember being in similar shoes after my promotion. Granted, mine was only from Staff Commander to Rear Admiral. I still had to get to Fleet Admiral the hard way. But I still remember how overwhelming it was. Impostor syndrome is a real thing, I’ll tell you that much. Don’t get me wrong. I worked hard to get where I was. I earned my place, but being thrown into it unexpectedly certainly threw me for a loop at the time.”

“How did you get over it?”

“Like everything else. One day at a time. You’ll adjust,” he said, noticing that Jane didn’t seem to like that answer. “Listen, Jane. I know you don’t like people calling you a hero, but that’s what you are. I know as well as you that this war wasn’t won with you alone, but on numerous occasions the scale was tipped in our favour only because of you. I will not allow you to think that you haven’t earned this. Everything else will come in time.”

Jane finally nodded, accepting his advice. “Okay,” she said, simply.

“Good. Now would you like to know about your assignment?”

“I guess that would be best.”

“I would like you to be one of the Heads of the Citadel Alliance division, and sit on their admiralty board.”

“Wow. That sounds like quite the honour, sir.”

“I figured it might give you a better opportunity to take advantage of your position in the MWII as well. The only problem is that the Citadel won’t be ready for general population for about another month or so.”

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but does that mean I can have time to think about it? I’d like to talk about it with Kaidan, if I have the chance. We were kind of waiting to see about our promotions before trying to make more permanent plans.”

Hackett had almost expected as much. He couldn’t blame her for needing time to make sure that this was what she wanted, especially since he had been the one keeping her in the dark for so long.

“I think that should be acceptable. In the meantime would you be open to run one more away mission?”

“I suppose that depends on what it is, sir.”

“As I’m sure you’re very aware by now, we happen to be housing some increasingly impatient dignitaries that would like to go back home. Garrus Vakarian is needed back on Palaven, and Urdnots Grunt and Wrex have been requesting transport back home for quite some time. I’d like you to do one last outing to drop them off, get status updates from Tuchanka and Palaven, and also do a supply run while you’re out that way.”

Jane just smiled at the offer. She knew he was throwing her a bone with this one. There would be other transports available to bring them back to their planets, though she supposed that it did truly look better for them having them personally escorted by a high ranking officer. She still knew it was an offer of kindness to allow her one last mission with her friends.

She nodded with a smile on her face. “Thank you, sir. That sounds like the perfect last away mission. Could I make one request though?”

“What is it?”

“Can I have the  _ Normandy _ ?”

He laughed at that. “I think that can be arranged, Shepard. It’s flight ready, though I don’t think it’s running at full efficiency. Even in its current state, it’s still the best ship we have though, so I’ll grant permission as long as it passes all of the requirements.”

“Thank you, Admiral.”

“You’re welcome,  _ Admiral. _ ”

Damn that would take some getting used to.

“I’ll give you until this mission’s completion to decide about your position on the Citadel,” he continued.

“Thank you. I really do appreciate you giving me the time.”

“Sure thing, Shepard. In case it makes your decision easier though, it’s well within our power to fit Kaidan in somewhere there too.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“So, any last questions?”

“Only one.”

“What’s that?”

“Are you sleeping with my mother?”

He coughed with the surprisingly blunt question. “I think I’ll allow your mother to address that one,” he said after managing to compose himself.

“Mhmm. I think you just answered it for me. It’s okay, Hackett. I think you’re good for each other.”

He didn’t really have anything to say to that for now. Even if Jane had guessed it, he didn’t really want to confirm anything. Plausible deniability and all that.

“Well, I think I’m feeling better. Sincerely, Admiral, I do want to say that I really appreciate everything you’ve offered me today. I don’t want you to think my needing time for consideration has anything to do with lack of gratitude,” she said, finally standing up.

“Not at all, Jane. No one’s gone through more in this war than you. It’s healthy to assess your options. I do hope that you’ll be joining us, but at the end of the day, we all just want you to be happy.”

“Thank you, Steven.” She had never addressed him so informally, but something about the moment made it feel right. They were only one rank apart at this point, so it wasn’t insubordination. He seemed to quite like the informality of it, anyway, so she was in the clear.

“Alright, now get out of here already. Take advantage of the festivities tonight, because you’ll be shipping out in two days.”

“Already?”

“Absolutely. Wrex kindly keeps reminding us that he likely has children already waiting for him back on Tuchanka, and Grunt keeps threatening to headbutt people if they’re not going to be granted transport. I think it’s long overdue that they be headed home.”

Jane laughed at the thought. It definitely sounded like Grunt.

“Well in that case, it can’t happen soon enough. Thanks for giving me this, Hackett.”

“No problem, Jane. It’s just as much your send-off as it is theirs. Enjoy it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said before shaking his hand.

She quickly met up with the rest of their crew and family and headed over to the banquet hall. They all shared glasses of champagne, with the dextro version for Garrus and Tali. Jane gave them all the same orders to be ready to ship out in two days, and they were all excited about the prospect of one last mission together, even if it would be a tame one.


	21. Saying Goodbyes

It had been just over two weeks since they had departed in the  _ Normandy _ . Everyone had agreed to go to Tuchanka first because Wrex was eager to see Bakara and his children. Grunt was just eager to kill some things, which there wasn’t much need for on Earth. Plus, Palaven would be on their way back to Earth no matter what, so it didn’t make much difference. Garrus had wanted to see his father and sister, but his need to see family wasn’t as urgent as it was for Wrex.

Not to mention the fact that Wrex was needed to lead his people. Jane didn’t doubt that Bakara would be doing a good job in his absence, but the fact remained that they would only be stronger together.

Wrex had been right. The clutch had hatched months ago. There were six of them. With how fast Krogans grow, they were basically toddlers at this stage. Already running around after each other. Shepard quickly realised why Krogan houses were sparse, and made out of stone with how destructive they were. The whole  _ Normandy _ crew enjoyed taking turns playing with them, though they had all been worn out easily, and wondered how Bakara had been able to manage them. Grunt fit in with them perfectly, already trying to teach them how to headbutt properly.

Wrex had clearly been affected deeply by the interaction. There had always been a chance that he had sired some children in the past, but due to the way they used to procreate, he would never know for sure. It was rare enough for a male to see young children, though that would be changing soon enough thanks to the genophage being cured, but to see them plain as day, and to know that they were his had struck him with such profundity that it was easy for Shepard to notice.

She had watched him taking in the site of their destruction quietly as though the whole experience had been surreal. He had gently picked one up in the midst of the chaos, and gazed deeply into his eyes, calming the child almost immediately. It was as though he was studying the fact that he had a child, and not believing that it would live. If she hadn’t known Wrex better she almost would have expected him to cry, but there was no way he would do that in front of all these people.

It’s like he knew that Jane’s eyes had been on him. Studying him. He didn’t care, but he did move his gaze to match hers at one point. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. She saw immense gratitude, and hope. She knew that he was thankful for this chance.

That hope was something that she and Bakara had talked about during her time on the  _ Normandy _ . In that moment, Jane had easily remembered her saying that ‘The genophage forces us to live on hope alone. There is nothing else.’ But now that hope had been fulfilled. Now they would have a future. It was finally their time to find balance again, and re-establish their place in the galaxy.

Jane had loved talking to Bakara during the war. She admired her openness, and she had learned a lot about what it meant to be krogan. Their conversations helped Jane understand her people’s sacrifice. She still remembered when Bakara said ‘When my child didn’t draw breath, that’s when my life truly began.’ Jane asked her about it again during their visit. Bakara had said that it was more true now than ever before, because that instance had fueled her to ensure that no other krogan would have to feel that way again. It had led her to Maelon, which had led them all to a cure. It may have been when her life had truly begun, but not how their lives as a species would end thanks to them.

Bakara had ended off their visit with numerous hints at how much of a blessing children were, and Shepard had plainly told her that she was as bad as her mother-in-law, which had earned her a laugh.

If Jane had been honest with herself, the idea had slowly been creeping into her own head more and more lately, without outside prodding. It was something that she and Kaidan had both admitted to wanting before the end of the war, but especially with the job prospects that had just been thrown at her, she had wanted to settle a bit first… or so she thought? Admittedly seeing the way that Wrex looked at his son had intensified her desire for it, but not enough to talk to Kaidan about it just yet. She wanted to be sure.

They were only able to stay on Tuchanka for a day, because even though Hackett had given her this job specifically so she could be the one escorting her friends home and have that last time with them, this wasn’t a social visit. It was hard to say goodbye to Wrex. She liked having him around again to talk to, but this is where he belonged. Tuchanka’s future was stronger and brighter with him at the helm.

Now they were getting ready to land on Palaven. Garrus and Tali had been extremely excited. They had both had some deliberations trying to decide where they would settle after the end of the war. Tali desperately wanted to go to Rannoch. She wanted to know what it was to have a homeworld again, but the simple math of it made their decision an easy one.

Palaven was only 133 light years away from Earth, which made their journey a short two weeks. It still wouldn’t be easy to just commute back and forth for no reason thanks to how difficult it would be to get supplies now. Every trip would need some kind of purpose behind it. But still, it was a lot closer than Rannoch, which was an astonishing 86,000 light years away from Earth. That meant that the first time she would even be able to step foot on it at standard FTL speeds would be more than 20 years from now. She hoped that the relays would be finished a lot sooner than that, but at the end of the day she wasn’t willing to separate from Garrus. If it took 20 years to finish the relays it would still mean she got to go back to her home planet at the same time, but she would be able to stay with the man she loved too. It really was no contest.

The other part of their decision was also easy for Tali. She didn’t have any family to return to, and Garrus still had a father and sister waiting for him. Garrus was excited to finally get to introduce them, and as far as he was concerned, this would be Tali’s family to come home to now too. He knew it wasn’t the same thing, but it was important to him that she consider this home, at least for now. For her to be doing this so easily for him, meant that he would happily move to Rannoch when the relays were fixed.

As they were preparing to land on Palaven, Jane was preparing to suit up. She hadn’t been as upset as she might have thought she would be about being pulled off of active duty, but now that she was looking at her armor it had an air of sadness attached to it. Sure this wasn’t the exact same set that she had worn during the war. That was far too destroyed for any functional use, but these were pretty good replicas. She realised that this would very likely be the last time she would ever put it on, and it was only going to be for radiation protection.

She had never joined the military with the thought of wanting to go to battle. That was always supposed to be a last resort. Taking someone’s life was never easy, and it wasn’t something that you would ever get to take back. When she took a life, she always tried to make sure that it was the right decision. Sometimes the urgency of the situation didn’t grant her time to think, and it was purely done through necessity to protect her crew or civilians. Those times always tended to be harder on her, though never regretted.

Instead, she had joined with the intention of protection. To fight the evils of the galaxy to save the innocent. Her causes were noble, and she hoped that she had lived up to it. Her armor was just a symbol of her dedication and accomplishments. She ran her fingers over the N7 logo, and fondly remembered how much work it had taken her to get where she is. The flame that burns twice as bright, burns half as long, as they say. Her career was certainly proof of that. She had pushed herself so hard over such a short amount of time that she couldn’t really be surprised that it was about to fizzle out.

Maybe that wasn’t exactly the right way to think about it though. It wasn’t going to fizzle out, it was simply going to change. Maybe she really did deserve to take it easy for once, though if she decided to go through with being an Admiral, she was sure it wouldn’t exactly be easy. Just a different kind of hectic.

As she put her armor on with practiced ease, she tried to revel in the feeling. Remembering the satisfying clink of each clasp buckling into place. Feeling the full weight of it on her frame. It was bittersweet. She liked that her needs for it today were simple, and for good intentions. It was the send off that she preferred. One not muddied with more lives taken by her hand. Especially not now, when things were as peaceful as they had ever been.

As they landed, Castis and Solana had been eagerly awaiting their arrival. They had managed to get a couple of text messages through to Garrus while they were still on Earth, so both parties at least knew that the other was alive. A large comfort in and of itself especially knowing that Garrus had been with the final push on Earth at the end. Garrus hadn’t exactly wanted to tell them about Tali by text, but he didn’t want to hide her either.

Garrus had been somewhat concerned about his father’s reaction to him choosing to be with a quarian, as his dad was far more traditional than himself, but Tali was important to him. He would have preferred to have have his father’s blessing in the matter, but it wouldn’t have mattered at the end of the day, because he loved Tali with or without his father’s approval.

He had been pleasantly surprised to receive a message that was short and to the point:

_ ‘We’re happy for you Garrus. We can’t wait to meet her.’ _

His father had always been a man of little words, but they were always filled with his truth, so Garrus knew without question that it was genuine.

That had made Jane happy. She knew Garrus would always do right by Tali, but she would have been upset leaving her in a place that she wasn’t welcomed openly. If Garrus’s family hadn’t been so approving, Jane would have pushed harder for them to come back to the Citadel and have a more active role in the MWII. For the time being, they had graciously accepted their positions, but Garrus was requested back on Palaven. They would have to try to do what they could in a less active role for the time being, possibly changing their plans later.

Jane had never managed to get a straight answer out of him as to how far down the line of succession he was, but she had a feeling it wasn’t that far, as he had been wanted back for political reasons. If Garrus was willing to do that, he must be pretty important.

They were here mostly to drop Garrus and Tali off, but also to exchange as many supplies as the  _ Normandy _ could hold. It wasn’t exactly built to be a supply shit, but the fuel wouldn’t be wasted. If they could bring supplies in times like these, they would do it.

The area that they were needed in was still covered in rubble, which meant they couldn’t land there. Victus had sent them coordinates for a clearing somewhat outside of the city centre. Palaven wasn’t exactly known for its vegetation, but they had landed in an empty field surrounded by a wooded area.

As they disembarked, Garrus ran to his family, and gave them hugs. He was never usually one to be openly emotional with his father, but now was certainly time for an exception. He was different with Solana. They had clearly been closer. After things calmed down slightly, Garrus backed up to welcome Tali. They were much more subdued, but both also hugged her as well, and made sure to make her feel that she was welcomed. They exchanged a few pleasantries, but then Garrus moved to introduce Jane.

Castis had taken her hand firmly, clearly practicing the customary way to introduce yourself to humans. He thanked her for her service, but more so, thanked her for taking care of his son. There had been a time that he had been cautious about Spectre’s, and especially Garrus’s infatuation with them. That still may be true, but he admitted that Shepard had opened his eyes to know that at least some of them were good. He was glad that Shepard had been the one helping shape Garrus’s opinions and world views, and he didn’t doubt that a lot of her influence had done well for his son.

They had explained that Garrus’s family home was close to here. They lived in a more rural area outside of the city centre. Still far enough away to warrant a shuttle ride, but that would be for tomorrow. Today was reserved for work.

Victus had only come for greetings and to thank Shepard personally for everything that she had done. It was nice to see him again, but they had work to do. Castis happened to be the one in charge of resource management. He conveniently would be the one watching over the day’s events, and providing grunts to load up shuttles with supplies to bring into the city.

Solana was also helping, though that was more of a special accommodation only for today thanks to her brother returning. This way, even though they would be working, they could all be together. Most of her work had been strategizing the best way for cleanup and repair in the city centres, which is where she would be returning after the  _ Normandy _ would depart again.

The day was a long one. They managed to empty every last supply deemed for Palaven, and everyone was exhausted. Castis informed them that they had some supplies to send back to Earth as well. Some extra Dextro supplies for any turians or quarians still stranded, as well as other raw materials that Palaven had an excess of as thanks for whatever supplies Earth had sent to help their rebuilding effort.

That would be reserved for tomorrow though, which would likely be the last time that Jane would see two of her closest friends for quite some time. She was happy to see that they had finally reached this point. This is what they had all been fighting for after all, but the idea was definitely a sad one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interesting fact (or completely boring and pointless fact depending on how you look at it lol):  
> I didn't totally make up the distance and time it takes to travel places for this fic. I used math from how long it took the Andromeda Initiative to get to the Andromeda galaxy at FTL speeds, and took those speeds and applied them to distances for the Milky Way. I had to estimate how far away Palaven and Rannoch would be from Earth looking at real star charts, because obviously Palaven and Rannoch don't really exist, but otherwise applied the same math to my estimates. Just figured I'd leave that in here in case anyone was actually interested.  
> I did math for this fic! That's how dedicated I was lol. My husband would be so proud to know this.


	22. A New Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains part of poem from Laurence Binyon’s ‘For the Fallen’

Today would be their last day on Palaven. All of the supplies had been delivered, and Shepard had gotten all of the progress reports that she needed. Castis’ shipments had been arriving all day, with the last set to arrive during their dinner. All that was left was to say goodbye to their dear friends. They had a farewell dinner planned for this evening.

Kaidan walked into their shared quarters, shocked to find his wife sprawled lazily on the couch with a datapad pressed against her face, and presumably, the arm that was previously holding it dangling off the couch lifelessly.

Shepard was startled back into the land of the living when Kaidan straight up cackled at the comical sight of her. Her data pad clacked onto the floor, as she bolted upright.

“I’m sorry… were you  _ napping? _ I didn’t realise that you were capable of such a thing.”

“Oh shut up! I’m not used to all this paperwork. It must have bored me to sleep.”

“Hmm. I might have believed that if half of your job during the war wasn’t paperwork. But I can’t say that you don’t deserve a nap with everything you’ve been through. I’m sorry for waking you so abruptly.”

“You should be. You’re lucky I didn’t have my gun. Ass,” she said, standing up and straightening out her ruffled clothes.

“What?! I couldn’t help it. The data pad was on top of your face for crying out loud.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” she said as Kaidan moved to embrace her in a very grumpily received hug.

“Seriously though. I’m glad to see you’re getting some rest. You deserve to take things easy,” he said as she finally relaxed into his gentle hold.

“You keep saying that, but I’m still not used to this.”

“Well, you better get used to it, Admiral. I’m hoping their won’t be any more galaxy wide wars being waged any time soon. Life is about to get a whole lot more boring,” he said with a big dumb grin, truly looking forward to the prospect.

Shepard laughed. “I wasn’t complaining. I just said I’m not used to it. What time is it?”

“Just after 1830.”

“Oh shit! Garrus and Tali’s dinner is in less than half an hour,” she said, bolting straight to the bathroom, knowing that it didn’t leave a lot of time to get ready.

In the end, it didn’t take all that long. As per the usual, Shepard opted for basic makeup, which didn’t take up too much time. Kaidan was already dressed in his dress blues, while he sat and waited for her. She didn’t have that many options when it came to nice clothes, but she still had that dress that Kasumi had gotten her for that heist back in the Cerberus days. It still fit. Maybe slightly on the more loose side thanks to the muscle loss, but she was almost back to her old self.

“Wow, you look--”

“Don’t you dare say radiant,” Shepard said jokingly.

“I was going to say stunning.”

“I’m honestly not sure if that’s better. Now it just sounds like I’m tazing you.”

“You seriously need to learn how to take a compliment. You look beautiful, is that better?” Kaidan asked as he gently grabbed her hand, pulling her into him.

His lips, sought hers hungrily. He could feel her fingers combing through the hair on the back of his head, while she reciprocated. Much to both of their dissatisfaction, the moment was fleeting as Shepard broke it off before things got too heated.

“Kaidan, we have to go,” she said breathily. “If this was for anyone else I would have said they can go fuck themselves, but these are our best friends.”

“I know,” he said with a laugh. “I just couldn’t help myself. But you’re right. Who knows when we’ll even get to see them again.”

Kaidan offered her his arm, and escorted them out of their quarters. Ever the gentleman. He really had always been chivalrous whenever the opportunity arose, it was just that those times were very few and far between throughout their relationship. It was nice to be able to bask in it and fully enjoy themselves without the worry of them getting in trouble or being in the middle of a war, requiring them to put themselves second. It was an odd thing having him take care of her so much, but she found that she liked it. She was too used to being the one taking care of everything. It was nice having him to lean on.

Since they weren’t wearing their armor this evening, they had to leave through the decontamination chamber. It was set to spray them with an added layer of radiation protection thanks to Palaven’s unforgiving environment. That was never a logical choice if you were going to be out all day under circumstances like this because it required reapplication every few hours to be effective, but since they were only going for a dinner, it would be more than adequate and allow them to dress up for their farewell. On their way out of the decon cycle, they of course found that they were the last ones ready. Liara, Adams, Gabby, Ken, Joker and Karin were all waiting by the shuttle for them.

They didn’t waste any time making their way over to Garrus’s family property. As they landed, they could already see the setup. Most of the buildings were piles of rubble, but the property itself still looked mostly intact. If Shepard had to compare it to something from Earth, she would have said it looked like an Italian Vineyard, just with less vegetation, and more rocks… and more dystopian. Still beautiful, and easy to see the potential, but freshly scarred from the war.

Garrus and Tali had a temporary housing unit on the property. It was a good size for them to live in for the moment, but it was small to host a dinner. They had set up an elegant table on the clearest part of a small field, surrounded by trees, and debris in the near distance. There was still no electricity in this part of Palaven, so they had stolen some power from the generator feeding their housing unit to set up a trail of stringed lights along posts around the table. There were also candles lighting the table itself. It all looked surprisingly extravagant for the world being in such a state. A visual oxymoron if ever there was one.

As Joker was landing in a small clearing, they could all see Garrus and Tali standing over by their makeshift bar waving at them. They all got out of the shuttle and walked over to join them.

Shepard was the first to speak. “Sorry we’re a bit late, but wow guys, this looks amazing. I can’t believe you pulled all this off since this morning.”

“Thanks. My father and sister helped a lot though. They’ll be joining us for dinner, which will be done soon, but they knew it was just going to be our close friends here tonight so they wanted to give us some time alone before we eat.”

“That was very thoughtful of them.”

“So who needs a drink?” Tali beamed, as she stepped behind the bar, acting as the impromptu bartender.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Tali? I seem to recall the last time we all had Alcohol, you ended up with an omni tattoo, and blabbing about your secret love affair.”

“Oh ha ha, Shepard. Luckily, Jack isn’t here tonight, and everyone obviously already knows that Garrus and I are in a relationship, so that won’t be an issue,” she replied, while handing Shepard a glass of wine.

When she saw that everyone had a glass of something, the ‘Commander Shepard’ in her came out. This was the perfect time to make a toast to her crew.

Shepard cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention. “Sorry to interrupt, but if you could all indulge me in one more inspirational rant for old time’s sake?” She paused for a moment before continuing. “Every one of you here tonight has been with me since the beginning, except for Gabby and Ken, but everything I have to say applies to you too. You were the only ones who never doubted me or the greater cause that we were fighting for.” She glanced over at Kaidan with a smile. “Even if it did take Kaidan a bit longer than the rest of you to come back to me,” She said teasingly.

“The last nearly four years have been the most difficult of my life, as I’m sure it has been the same for all of you, but in many ways I wouldn’t have changed a thing. We’ve all overcome so much adversity, now to be permanently bonded as a family that transcends blood. I’m incredibly saddened to know that we’ll be leaving a brother and sister behind, but I’m also proud and excited that you two will be starting a life together and that you have a chance to do so in peace.”

“I think it’s extremely unfair that people have painted me as some kind of hero, because all that does is take away the credit that you all deserve. If it wasn’t for every one of you and our crew and family standing behind me, helping guide me, and encouraging me, I’m not sure where we’d be today. I couldn’t have done it without any of you. So, congratulations to all of you for winning the war. Congratulations to Tali and Garrus, starting your new life together. Congratulations to Wrex, who couldn’t be here, because he’s too busy making babies! And last but not least, congratulations to Ashley, EDI, Anderson, Thane, Legion, and Javick. This was their fight too. One for which they all paid the ultimate sacrifice. They all played a large part in this victory.”

She was reminded of one of the many poems that she and Ashley had read and discussed throughout their time together. She was saddened at how much she just realised that it ended up portraying her dear friend. The one that shared her passion for classic literature.

_ “We mourn our dead across the sea. _

_ Flesh of our flesh they were, spirit of our spirit, _

_ Fallen in the cause of the free. _

_ Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal _

_ Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,” _

She paused to look back at their surroundings before continuing.

_ “There is music in the midst of desolation _

_ And a glory that shines upon our tears.” _

“We are finally and truly free. Their sacrifice will not be in vain. We will go on living in their memory. We will heed the music in the midst of this desolation.”

She raised her glass, “To the  _ Normandy _ , and all of her crew, past present and future!”

They all raised their glasses as Garrus gave a “here here” before they all took a drink.

They dispersed into smaller groups and conversations after that, moving to more upbeat topics of celebration and vague plans for the future and rebuilding. Things that they were never sure they would have, but were now excited to see where it would take them. They all chatted for a bit before Solana and Castis emerged from the prefab home with some dishes in hand. The crew all rushed to help them with the rest of the meal. They all settled down to eat, and complemented their ability to cook levo food so well. 

Everyone was lost in conversation, remembering the happier times of their shared past. Shepard was mostly quiet for the evening. Not because she didn’t want to add her own thoughts to the conversation, but rather she was finding it difficult to fully focus on the present when she was already mourning not having this so easily in her future.

Kaidan noticed her somberness, and leaned in to whisper to her. “You’re being pretty quiet. Are you okay?”

She put on a slight, reassuring smile. “Yeah. I’m perfectly content just listening to everyone else's stories for once. I’m just going to miss this, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. Me too,” he said as he rubbed her knee reassuringly.

The night continued on like that, and included a few more drinks for a couple of hours. 

Then, before they knew it, things were starting to wind down, and people were getting tired. It was time to say their goodbye’s.

Solana and Castis had retired to bed a bit earlier, but not before Shepard thanked them for their hospitality. Castis had waved her off, insisting that this would always be a home away from home for her if she wanted it… After their new home was actually built anyway. She appreciated their acceptance of her into their extended family, just as Garrus had already been a part of hers for so long now. She had no doubt that Tali would be welcomed just as warmly as they got to know her over the coming months.

Shepard looked back from the shuttle where everyone was waiting for her, to Garrus and Tali standing before her.

“I fully expect a wedding invitation sometime in the near future,” she joked.

“It’s not like we got an invitation to yours,” Garrus quipped.

“Hmm, well that wasn’t because we didn’t want you there. We just didn’t want anyone there,” She smiled back.

“Well maybe we won’t want anyone there either,” Garrus laughed.

“So wait. Does that mean there’s really going to be a wedding?”

Garrus looked down to Tali now. “Well I’ve been game for it for a while. It depends if Tali’s still just using me for my body or not.”

They all laughed for a second before Tali spoke. “We haven’t taken the time to really talk about it yet, but I wouldn’t have moved here if it wasn’t serious. So maybe. Just make sure to keep checking your mail from now on.”

“Will do,” she said, trying not to cry. “Ugh, I’m going to miss you guys so much!” she said, pulling them into a hug. “But this is what we worked so hard for. I love you. Both of you.”

“We love you too, Shepard,” said Tali. “You’re making it seem like we’re never going to see each other again though.”

“Of course not. It’s just that everything’s going to be so different now. Just hurry up and get married, so we can all have an excuse to see each other again.” She paused for one last moment, before smiling and saying, “I should go.”

They both laughed, before Garrus responded, “Yeah, I actually have quite a few calibrations to get to,” he said pointing behind him at all of the rubble.

They all laughed at that and said their final goodbyes. Shepard joined everyone else on the shuttle as they all waved one last time to each other.

The last minute supplies from Castis’ team had arrived during dinner. Since most of the  _ Normandy’s  _ crew was already asleep when it arrived, the crates were all just scattered along the docking bay. Much to Joker’s disappointment, that meant that he had to land the shuttle outside, and have further to walk back to the comfy bed that was waiting for him.

The walk was hardly far though. Joker just liked to complain. Shepard chose to take her heels off so she could feel whatever it was that passed for grass on Palaven under her feet. She decided to take her time walking back, enjoying the cool summer night air flowing around her.

Liara quickly caught up to her, and linked arms, much like how they stood together right before the battle on Earth. “Things will be much more quiet without the two of them around.”

Shepard hummed in agreement. “Not just them. The  _ Normandy’s _ been running at half capacity with the lack of need for so many people now that we’re not at war. It seems like everyone else is settling into their own lives, and helping rebuild. Wrex is having babies. James is off becoming an N7. Miranda is helping out in the science division of the Alliance of all people. I think Jack’s already helping set up a new Grissom Academy. Jacob and Brynn have got to be getting close to having their baby by now. Samara’s probably well on her way back to her daughter. Who knows about the rest of them. Zaeed and Kasumi are both such wild cards.” Shepard said with a grin, remembering her friends fondly.

“Well, you still have me, Shepard.”

They had made it to the ramp of the docking bay now.

“That I do,” Shepard said with a forced smile. She hadn’t mentioned it to Liara yet, but she didn’t plan on being on the  _ Normandy _ for that much longer. The more she had time to think about it, the more she had liked the idea of taking Hackett’s offer. She and Kaidan had agreed to give it until the end of their trip to fully consider all of their options and make sure it was what they wanted to settle into. “You go on ahead. I think I’m going to enjoy the fresh air for a little bit longer.”

“Good night, Shepard.”

“Good night,” Shepard nodded, as she gave Liara’s hand one last affectionate squeeze before parting ways.

Shepard sat on top of one of the crates on the grass, and stared up into the sky. With hardly any power sources working around them, there was barely any light pollution. The stars were more clear than she had seen them from a planet in a long time. She had been to plenty of empty planets before where the view could have had a lot to offer, but now she had the time to sit and admire it. There was something about looking up at them when grounded that was different than seeing them from space.

Kaidan caught up to her now, and leaned against the crate beside her.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” she let out with a sigh. “Just enjoying the feeling of insignificance.”

“Hmm. This view can do that to you.”

Shepard smiled, realising that his view was not of the stars, but was filled with infatuation of her. She brought her gaze back down to his, and grabbed him by the front of his jacket, pulling him to rest between her thighs. She rested her head on his chest, as she moved her arms to pull him into a hug.

“What do we do now?” she asked

“I don’t know. But at least now we have time to figure it out.”

“Maybe I’ll join the council,” she joked. “Oh god, could you imagine?”

“I don’t know, I think you’d be better at it than you give yourself credit for.”

“I didn’t say I would be bad at it. I just think I would go insane. Maybe I’ll be an ambassador.”

“We could always just be a General and an Admiral, and graciously accept our assignments like normal people in the Alliance.”

“Hmm. Maybe. I’m starting to like that idea more and more actually.”

“Me too.”

Kaidan crept a finger under her chin, pulling her face towards his to bring her into a gentle kiss.

“There is one pretty serious mission that we haven’t even considered yet,” Shepard brought up playfully.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

She pulled him closer to whisper into his ear, “Maybe we should think about helping with the repopulation effort.”

Kaidan pulled away slightly to gauge whether she was being serious or not. The look on her face said she was nothing but.

“Really? Are you ready for that?”

“Yeah,” she said with a smile. “I’m almost feeling like my old self again. The nightmares are much less frequent. I’m with you. I’m happy. I don’t think I want to wait anymore.”

“You’re sure you’re not just feeling emotional with everyone leaving? You’re not just trying to fill some void are you?”

“No. You know I was starting to think about this before the war ended. I finally feel like we’re in a good enough place now.”

“Well in that case, nothing would make me happier. I’ve been wanting it for a while too.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you were the one who was seriously injured. And in case you’ve forgotten how all of that works, you’re the one who’s going to have to be pregnant. Your health was the most important thing. Everything else could wait.”

“So you’re really ready?”

“Yes. Maybe we should pay Dr. Chakwas a visit in the morning and have my procreation blockers reversed.”

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” she said leaning in for another kiss. “In the meantime… practice makes perfect.”


	23. Serrice Ice Brandy

Jane woke up to an empty bed. It was pretty unusual for her to wake up after Kaidan. Even though they were both used to waking up early, she usually woke up a few minutes before him and even then they would stay in bed for a few minutes together before starting their days.

She looked up at the window in their cabin. They were already in space.  _ ‘That can’t be right. We weren’t supposed to leave until after 9.’ _ She panicked as she looked at the clock. “It’s after 10 already?!” she said out loud to no one in particular.

“Yeah, we just left Palaven about half an hour ago,” Kaidan said from the computer terminal above their sleeping quarters.

Shepard sat up with a start to look at him. She didn’t even know he was there.

“Jees, Shep. You’ve really been off your game the last few days.”

“No kidding. I must have been a teenager the last time I slept in this late. Or you know… in a coma.”  _ ‘Or dead,’ _ she thought, but didn’t add to the conversation. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You looked so peaceful. And I’m perfectly capable of commanding the ship in your absence, you know.”

Shepard smiled. “I know. But I could have helped. There were a lot of crates to bring in.”

“Yeah, and we didn’t do it by hand. Seriously, with the loader it was a one person job. We would have woken you if we needed you that badly. Besides, if you slept in this late, I think the sleep must have been more important.”

Shepard just nodded as she flopped back into bed. Somehow even after sleeping this late, she still felt tired.

“So, should we go see Dr. Chakwas?”

“Why? I’m not sick just because I slept in.”

“No, that’s not what I-- Did you forget?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, the blockers.”

“Are you reconsidering?”

“No! Not at all. I’m just still half asleep, and forgot about our conversation last night for a second.”

“I’m not sure how you could possibly still be tired,” Kaidan chuckled.

She sat up on her elbows now. “Can I go and see her first? We have a bit of a tradition I want to uphold before we do this.”

“Of course. Just have her page me when you’re ready for me.”

“Sounds good.”

Shepard sat up on the side of her bed and opened the drawer in her nightstand. She pulled out a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy. When they were working for Cerberus, they had started the tradition to share a bottle of it every year. Last year they had shared it early because of the war. This year it was her turn to buy again, and as soon as she found a bottle, she made sure she didn’t wait to get it. Who knew when or if it would even be produced again. Now she was glad she had bought it, because she was planning to break the tradition again, and have it early. For starters, if they were giving up the _ Normandy, _ who knew when she’d get a chance to see Karin again. But also, if her plans worked out, there would be a good chance she wouldn’t be drinking for a good year or so.

She quickly got dressed and went down to the med bay, holding the brandy behind her back to keep it a surprise.

Dr. Chakwas turned in her seat as she heard the doors opening behind her.

“Ah. Admiral. Anything I can do for you?”

“Yes. I know it’s a bit early...” Shepard glanced at the clock on the wall. She had meant that this was happening before the year was up, but she had also forgotten what time it was. “In more ways than one, it would seem. But I was hoping that you would share this with me now,” she said as she pulled the bottle out from behind her back.

“Of course, Admiral. Though, forgive me if I’m being too forward, but the last time we opened a bottle early, it was obviously because we didn’t know if we would be alive by the time we hit a year. May I ask why we’re doing this early now?”

“Well for starters, I think it’s about time for you to use my first name. When we shared our last drink, you said some pretty nice things about how my accomplishments made it seem disrespectful to use it, which don’t get me wrong, it was incredibly flattering at the time. I really appreciate what you were trying to say, but I’m hoping that you’ll just start seeing me as a person, rather than your boss or my resume,” she said while she opened the bottle and Chakwas set some glasses on her desk.

“Ah. Well for the record, it wasn’t just about your resume. It was about how much respect I had for you and the work you put in to earn your position. It was about your embodiment of your title, and how good of a leader you are.”

“Well thank you very much for saying so. It really does mean a lot to me. I hope you’re not getting the wrong idea,” she said as she started pouring the glasses.

“Not at all. I suppose in a similar vein, it’s almost disrespectful to our friendship not to use your first name. I have to say you’ve given me something to ponder.”

Sheppard smiled. “Well if it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer Jane for now.”

“As you wish. I’ll start off by saying this: Jane, I’m not sure what any of this has to do with why we’re opening this early.”

Shepard was laughing now. “I was getting to that part, I swear.” She paused for a minute before continuing. “This isn’t common knowledge, so don’t go spreading it around yet, but I’ve decided to give up the  _ Normandy _ when we reach Earth. Kaidan and I will probably go to the Citadel. I’m not really sure if you and I will be working together or when we’ll even be seeing each other again. So I figured now was the time to start treating our relationship more casually.”

“Oh. I have to say, I’m a little bit surprised. I wasn’t sure if you’d ever give it up.”

“Hmm. Yeah. It’s just kind of lost its appeal. If I’m being really honest, it lost its appeal when the war became a reality. At that point it was just a necessity.”

Karin just nodded her head in understanding, as they sipped their drinks quietly.

“That leads me to my second reason. I have to admit, our tradition wasn’t my only excuse for coming to see you today.”

“Oh? And what’s that then?”

“Kaidan and I want to get off of our procreation blockers.”

“Ah. Well if your previous announcement wasn’t a surprise, this certainly is. A pleasant one at that though,” she offered with a smile. “Funny actually. You’re not the first to come to me about this.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, but after I said that they would require permission from the acting captain, as per Alliance regulations, they had decided to wait. I don’t think they wanted to bother you with anything unnecessary right now.”

“That’s too bad. It’s not like we’re actually in the middle of any serious missions right now. Having a pregnant crewmate wouldn’t have been a risk. I would have approved it.”

“Unfortunately doctor-patient confidentiality forbids me from saying who it is, so I guess they’ll just have to wait.”

Shepard smiled in thought for a moment. It really didn’t take much to realise who she must be talking about. “You do realise, there’s only one other couple on board right now. It’s not exactly hard to figure out who you’re talking about. It’s Gabby and Ken, right?”

“I’m afraid my lips are sealed,” Karin retorted, but her knowing smile and wink gave her away.

Shepard smiled, filing that bit of information away for later.

“It would be nice to finally have some good news around here for once though,” said Karin.

“It would be pretty uncharacteristic wouldn’t it?”

“Yes, but maybe it’s finally time we start changing our perceptions and outlook. Things have never seemed more peaceful than they are now. We don’t need to be so hopeless anymore. As absolutely brutal as this war was, it’s brought us all together.”

“Hopefully things will stay that way, though there’s definitely still work to do on that front.”

“Yes, maybe so. At any rate, I can’t imagine a better time to bring a new life into the galaxy.”

Shepard smiled. “That’s what we’re hoping for.”

“Well, Kaidan should have a much easier process. If my memory is correct, his blockers should have worn off by now.”

Shepard took a second to register what she just said.

“What?! Why weren’t they readministered?”

“I believe they wore off while we were stranded. We didn’t have any of the boosters on board at the time. I had tried to call him back for a physical when we finally docked back on Earth, but he was so concerned with your recovery that he kept refusing. I wasn’t too worried about it at the time because your blockers should still be active.”

“Uh oh.”

“What?”

“Ugh… Great. I really should have told you this before, but I didn’t want anyone to worry. I’m pretty sure my cybernetics filtered medications out more efficiently. Every other medication I’ve taken since Cerberus brought me back just doesn’t seem to have the longevity that it used to.”

“That certainly would have been useful information to have before now. Don’t panic yet though. Let’s just check your blood chemistry to see if there’s any left in your system. I’ll need to actually check your blood for this. A scan won’t give me accurate enough results.”

“Okay.”

Karin got up to get a special attachment for her omni-tool. It was a small test strip reader similar to something someone who was diabetic in the 21st century would use to check their blood sugar levels. Checking blood chemistry had come a long way in the last two-hundred years, and there were different test strips to test almost anything routine with just a pinprick of blood. She rummaged around in her drawer to find the right ones.

“Jane, I feel I have to apologize. I’ve been negligent.”

“It’s not your fault, Karin. I should have told you earlier.”

“Even so, I shouldn’t have been treating Kaidan’s expired blockers so lightly just because I thought yours were still active. Your marriage shouldn’t have influenced my relaxed attitude towards it,” she said as she pricked Shepard’s finger.

“Please don’t dwell on it. There were extenuating circumstances. Like you said, let’s just get the results first before freaking out.”

Chakwas had already fed the test strip into the reader. “Right.”

They waited for a second for the machine to ping, signalling that it had done its job. Karin read the results.

“Well, it would appear that you were correct. There are no procreation blockers in your system.”

“So what does that mean now?”

“I believe we should do a pregnancy test, even if it is just to rule it out. When was your last menstrual cycle?” she asked as she went rummaging in her drawers again to find the proper test strip.

_ ‘Shit.’ _

“Come to think of it…. I am a bit late.”

“How late?”

“Maybe 3 weeks? I’m honestly not even completely sure.”

“Jane! That’s quite a long time to have not come to me sooner.”

“My period hasn’t exactly been regular since… well since Cerberus woke me up. My life has been so stressful, and then I think my injuries took quite a toll. Not to mention, I thought Kaidan was still covered. But 3 weeks is almost pushing it, even for me.”

Karin took Shepard’s previously pricked finger, and squeezed on it to get another drop of blood prepared for the test strip. She fed the strip into the reader, and again they waited for a response.

There was a ping. They just looked at each other for a moment, both having a look of panic in their eyes. Karin looked down to read her omni tool.

“Positive. Around 7 weeks, judging by the hormone level. That would mean conception would have occured about 5 weeks ago.”

Shepard actually breathed a sigh of relief. Not at the realisation that she was pregnant, but at the timeline. She was starting to feel bad that Karin was feeling guilty about this. She still felt that this was her own fault and could have been prevented if she were open about her situation in the first place.

“See, this wasn’t your fault then. I was already pregnant by the time we came back on the  _ Normandy _ . At that point, Kaidan is the one who should have known better, and taken it into his own hands.”

“How is it that you’re the one reassuring me?”

“Because I don’t want you to think it was your fault.”

“Well maybe, but it certainly could have been.”

“Like I said, just try not to dwell on it, please. Learn from it and move on.”

“You can believe me when I say I’ll never be making a mistake like that again… Just please don’t take it out too badly on the General.”

Shepard laughed. “Oh, I don’t really blame him either. He’s gone through a lot. I don’t think he even remembers now that his blockers must have worn out.”

“Well good. I have to say, even though this is the intended outcome of getting rid of your blockers, I’m surprised you’re taking this so well.”

“Oh, I’m not. I’m definitely panicking. If you were to take my pulse right now, you might be worried.”

Karin took her wrist to make sure she was actually okay. Sure enough her pulse was definitely elevated, but nothing to seriously worry about. “It’s a little unnerving that you’re calm exterior of the battlefield translates into your real life.”

Shepard laughed. “Is it?”

“Only slightly,” she replied offering a smile.

In that moment, something dawned on Shepard. “Oh no! Karin!” she said, pointing over to the drinks they had just shared. “We were just drinking! And last night!”

“Exactly how much did you have last night? Have you been drinking much besides that?”

She had to think for a second. “I had two glasses of wine last night. I also had a glass of champagne after the awards ceremony, but nothing else.”

“Well, luckily we learned our lesson from the first time we shared a bottle, and took it easy today. I certainly wouldn’t advise continued drinking, but that shouldn’t have been enough to do any serious damage. Especially if you stop now.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I was already ready to give it up… hence having the brandy now.”

“Hmm, yes and now look how that turned out,” she said teasingly. “Don’t worry. Your little one will be fine. Have you been taking your standard issued vitamins?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Vitamins early in pregnancy are extremely important. Those should have been enough to keep you healthy enough for the most part, but I’m going to exchange them for prenatal ones now. Mostly just a bit of extra folate, calcium and iron.”

This was all beginning to sink in now as Dr. Chakwas handed her the new bottle of pills. She really had been looking forward to this, but she thought it would take some time to actually happen. It was starting to be a little overwhelming.

“Karin.”

“Yes?”

“I’m going to throw up.”

Karin could see that she didn’t have much time, so she just grabbed the garbage can from under her desk, and handed it to Shepard. She heaved into it immediately as Chakwas rubbed her back.

“So much for that calm exterior,” she couldn’t help but joke about it.

Shepard just let out a groan as she spit out any remnants of vomit in her mouth.

“See. Now you don’t even have to worry about the brandy.”

Shepard huffed out a single laugh as she relaxed back into the chair again. “What the hell was that! The minute I find out I’m pregnant, the nausea starts?”

“If I had to venture a guess, I would say that had a lot more to do with shock than the pregnancy itself. Though, that probably wasn’t helping anything.”

“Good. So I shouldn’t just be expecting to vomit at any given moment?”

“I don’t want to make any promises. That very well could still be the case for you soon.”

“Suddenly I’m not so sure how good of an idea this was,” she said as she set the garbage can back down, not wanting the smell to encourage her to do it again.

“Oh, don’t say that. True, pregnancy isn’t always glamorous, but it’ll all be worth it when you’re holding your little one in your arms. Or so I’m told.”

She nodded in agreement. “So… could this be why I slept in till after 10 this morning?”

“Oh my. I’m surprised you didn’t come running to ask me what was wrong the minute you woke up. I didn’t know you were capable of such a thing,” she laughed.

“Neither did I.’

“To answer your question seriously though, I would say that yes, the pregnancy is very likely the cause of that. Take advantage of it while you can.”

“Noted,” Jane said, shaking her head, still hardly believing what she had just learned.

“Since you won’t be on the  _ Normandy _ anymore, would you like a referral to another doctor?”

This was something that Shepard hadn’t even considered. She was so used to Chakwas being her doctor. Dr. Michel and her team had done an amazing job while she was on Earth, but the whole time she was being treated for her injuries from the war, being under their care never felt quite right. She liked Chloe, and even considered her a friend, but she just wasn’t her doctor. No one was, except Karin.

“I don’t suppose I can convince you to come to the Citadel with me so you can keep being my doctor, could I? Do you even deliver babies?”

“Well, there certainly hasn’t been a very big need for it the last few years of my career, but I am perfectly capable of dealing with all of the needs of pregnancy and labour, not to mention pediatrics. It might surprise you, but I’ve delivered plenty of babies throughout my career. Before my time on the  _ Normandy _ , I spent many years on military bases, or big enough ships to carry families. I’ve dealt with plenty of pregnant military wives, and service women.”

“So how much would you charge to be my private doctor?” she said jokingly.

“I don’t think you could afford me,” she replied. “But if you’re going to the Citadel, you might be able to convince me to come help out at Huerta Memorial for a while. I think I can be of some help there between your appointments.”

“Seriously? Do you mean it?”

“As long as you’ll be going somewhere that I can manage to do some good, then I don’t mind following you. You’ve saved my life more times than I can count at this point. The least I can do is help you bring this new one into the universe.”

“Thank you so much, Karin. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“That’s quite alright, Jane. Congratulations.”

“Thanks. I guess Kaidan’s probably wondering what’s taking so long. He asked to be paged to come down here when we were done.”

“I can call him down if you like.”

Shepard nodded, leading Dr. Chakwas to page him to the medbay.

“I suppose you’ll have a lot to talk about.”

“That might be a slight understatement,” she said as Kaidan walked into the door.

“Call me if you need me,” she said before addressing them on her way out. “Admiral. General.”

Kaidan just looked at the door for a second, before turning back to Shepard with a confused look on his face.

“Am I missing something? Doesn’t she need to be here to do this?”

“You might want to sit down, Kaidan.”

“Okay, now you’re scaring me. Did something happen? You are having second thoughts aren’t you? If you are, you don’t have to be so dramatic about it. I don’t mind waiting until you’re ready.”

“No. Kaidan, will you just come here,” she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him over in her direction. He opted to lean back on the desk in front of her. “Do you remember that conversation we had back on our Citadel shore leave?”

“We had a lot of conversations. You’re going to have to remind me.”

“The one where I told you about the complications with my cybernetics…,” she said while waving her hand in circles, trying to get him to clue into the rest of their conversation.

“Ah, yeah that one. Of course I re--mem--ber...” he said as his voice was trailing off as his eyes glazed over slightly.

Shepard could see the gears turning in his head. Of course she was referring to the fact that Kaidan had admitted to his procreation blockers only having a couple of months left at the time. That conversation happened about half a year ago at this point.

“Uh oh.”

“Yeah. Uh oh. Have you been neglecting to tell me something?” She sounded serious, but she couldn’t contain the smile that was spreading across her face.

“Not purposely. Oh god. Does this mean what I think it means?”

“What do you think it means?”

“I think it means we won’t be getting to have lots of fun trying to get you pregnant.”

She hummed in agreement as she stood in front of him now. “I believe our copious amounts of fun have already gotten us into quite a predicament.”

“Are you serious? You’re pregnant?”

“7 weeks,” she nodded with a big grin.

“I’m so sorry!”

“That’s not exactly the response I was hoping for,” she laughed, as she could tell that Kaidan was clearly flustered.

“No! That’s not what I meant. What if your recovery hadn’t been going so smoothly? I meant that I’m sorry for being so careless. I’m happy. Really, I am…”

“Just in shock?”

“Yeah.”

“Believe me, I was right there with you about 20 minutes ago. I threw up,” she said pointing to the garbage can.

Kaidan turned his vision to follow her finger, until she moved her hand up to cup his cheek and stop him from witnessing that horror. She scrunched her nose as she said, “Don’t look. Not a pretty sight.” She opted to kiss him on his other cheek fearing her breath was probably not something she wanted to subject him to at the moment, before pulling him into a hug. “And don’t worry about it. You’re just lucky we were planning on this anyway.”

She pulled back slightly to see a big grin on his face. His hands were still resting on her hips.

“Dr. Chakwas was so scared that her negligence caused it before I blamed you. In hindsight I think that might have been funnier. I could have gone around telling people that Karin got me pregnant.”

They both laughed.

Kaidan let out a big sigh, “Jane, you have no idea how happy you’ve just made me.”

“I think I’m still just mostly in shock,” she said as she moved to lean on the desk beside him. “You think it happened at the orchard?”

Kaidan laughed at that, considering the timing, and nodding. “My mother would be so pleased.”

Kaidan wrapped his arm around her waist, as they just contemplated their future. It finally felt like all of the pieces of their lives were starting to fall into place, albeit still as chaotically as ever.


	24. Blueberry

The  _ Normandy _ was set to make it back to Earth in just under two weeks. Kaidan was just waking up, reaching his hand out in search of Shepard, disappointed to find that she wasn’t there, and her side of the bed had already been freshly made. It was only the morning after their big revelation, but Jane had been so tired from the pregnancy already that he was surprised that she wasn’t still asleep.

As he woke up further, he realised that he heard clacking on the physical keyboard coming from their office above the sleeping quarters.

He got up quietly and made his side of the bed before walking up the stairs to see what she was doing.

“Oh good you’re up.”

“I’m surprised you are.”

“I couldn’t sleep well. I guess I had a lot to think about.”

“I guess that’s not all that surprising. What are you doing?”

“Come here. Look at this,” she said as she was pointing at the screen. “Humans are so weird. Apparently it’s pretty common to compare the size of your baby to different fruit per week of pregnancy.”

As Kaidan walked over, it was clear to him now that she was looking over some of the information Dr. Chakwas had sent to her. “I don’t think that’s all that weird. It gives something tangible to compare it to.”

“Good point, I guess. I still think just saying one centimeter would be good enough though,” she said with a smile.

“So what do we have then?”

“A blueberry.”

“Wow, that big already?”

“You think that’s big already? I was expecting a lemon or something.”

“Jesus, Shepard. At that rate of growth, it’s like you’d be expecting to give birth to something the size of a teenager.”

“Oh god, you’re going to give me nightmares. Don’t say things like that!”

“Heh, Sorry. I guess what I meant to say is that this early the growth is a bit slower. All of my maternity training wasn’t very in depth, but from what I remember, in the later stages you’ll probably be gaining a pound per week. Maybe even two.”

“Alright, get out!”

“What?”

“You keep saying things that are making me freak out. So get out.”

He hugged her from behind her computer chair, and kissed her on the cheek. “I’m sorry, Jane.”

“I know,” She turned her head to kiss him properly to show that she wasn’t really upset. “I’m just kidding… mostly. I do still need you to get out though.”

“What? Why?” he said, backing up, as she turned around to look at him.

“I need to talk to Gabby, and it’s kind of personal, so I think she would appreciate the privacy a bit more if we talked up here… without you hovering. She and Ken were working the night shift, so I was hoping to call her up before she goes to bed.”

“Oh. Okay. I can do the morning rounds if you want.”

“Thanks, Kaidan. I’d really appreciate that.”

As she stood up from the desk to page Gabby, Kaidan grabbed her wrist gently and brought her into a hug. “I know we haven’t had much of a chance to talk about this yet, but I just want you to know how happy I am. We’re making a family, Jane.” the last part coming out as almost a whisper. “Can you believe that we’ve actually made it here?”

“No,” she said, as her voice wavered. “You’re going to make me cry if we keep talking about this now, and I have people to see,” she said as she hugged him tighter.

“Okay,” he said, caressing her cheek. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” she said before giving him a quick kiss.

Then Kaidan knelt down, and lifted up her shirt slightly, and kissed her flat stomach. “And I love you too, blueberry.”

“That’s not helping,” she said while brushing a tear away.

Kaidan stood and started walking towards the door. “Okay, okay. I’m going. Even if I don’t really want to,” he said, as he grabbed a shirt before heading down for breakfast.

She then walked over to her desk to page Samantha. “Traynor, could you please send Gabby up to my Cabin?”

“Right away, Ma’am.”

She paced the cabin for a moment, putting her ‘Commander’ face on, mostly trying to stop herself from crying. This was mostly going to be a social visit after all, and she didn’t want to scare Gabby away.

There was a knock at the door. “Admiral?”

“Come in, Gabby.”

The doors opened and Gabby stepped through, pausing near the entrance. “Samantha told me you wanted to see me,” she said as she looked around the captain’s quarters.

“Yes. Don’t worry. Nothing bad. I guess you’ve never really been up here before, have you?”

“No, Ma’am.”

“I really appreciate how you always maintain your professionalism, but please, while you’re up here you don’t have to ma’am me.”

“Okay. Shepard,” she said hesitantly. She moved over to the model ships. Particularly admiring the Flotilla Vessel. “You have quite a collection.”

“Yeah. You could say they were almost meditative. Something that required enough focus to get me to forget about the war for just a minute, when things were getting to be too much, but not so much that I couldn’t just drop it when something important came up.”

“When you put it that way, you have too many. I can’t say that I blame you though. I don’t think anyone admires the role you had to play.”

Shepard just nodded quietly in appreciation. “It’s okay. Someone had to do it. Let’s just hope that it was all for the better. You seem fond of the Flotilla.”

“Yes, it would probably be my favourite.”

“Why’s that?”   


“The Flotilla is a marvel of engineering. Not only did they have to hold their entire civilization for generations, but they had to sustain it as well. I wish we could have studied them more in school, but most of their technology is kept pretty confidential.”

“You must have really enjoyed working with Tali then.”

“Oh, without a doubt. We’ve become good friends. I know it’s only barely been more than a day, but I miss her.”

“Me too. She’s a good friend. But anyway, there was a reason I called you up here, why don’t you have a seat. Would you like something to drink?”

“No, thanks. I’m fine,” she said as she moved to sit on the couch. “I know you said to be informal, but something still feels wrong about my commanding officer offering to serve me.”

Shepard couldn’t contain her smile. “Well, if it helps, I won’t be your commanding officer for much longer.”

“What?! Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no, not at all, Gabby! I meant it when I said you’re not here for anything bad. I’ve been so proud of you and Ken. I couldn’t have asked for a better engineering team.”

Shepard paused for a moment seeing that Gabby was just waiting intently for more of an explanation, looking slightly worried still.

“You know that even though Hackett allowed the  _ Normandy _ out for this mission, he thought we rushed it a bit, right?”

“Yes. Even if I wasn’t aware of it before we left, it’s not hard to tell that she’s not exactly running at 100% efficiency.”

“See, and that’s one of the reasons I admire your talent. You know what you’re doing. But anyway, even though the  _ Normandy _ wasn’t quite up to par, Hackett allowed me to have it for this mission because he knew that it would very likely be my last chance to Command it.”

“You’re retiring?”

“I wouldn’t say that. Honestly, I’m not sure if I’d be capable of such a thing. But for once, I don’t feel the weight of the galaxy on my shoulders, and I figured this last mission would be my perfect opportunity to take a chance to really consider what I want, instead of what’s expected of me.”

“You make it sound like you regret going into the military. Again, not that I’d blame you, exactly, considering where it’s taken you.”

“No, absolutely not. I’ve never felt a greater sense of purpose. I can’t deny that I was good at it. I guess that comes with being in a military family though. It’s just a lot. The decisions you make… the actions you take… they weigh on you heavily. I think that I’ve dealt with enough problems for a lifetime in my short career. Maybe even two in my case,” she said with a small laugh. “To be honest, Admiral Hackett offered me a job on the admiralty board on the Citadel. I think I’m going to take him up on it. I guess I just wanted some time to figure things out, and make sure.”

“Well, good. I think you deserve the chance to figure things out for yourself, Shepard. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks,” she smiled back. “Don’t worry. I can give you a recommendation to almost anything you might want to do. I’m sure they’d love you to stay with the  _ Normandy _ for more retrofitting, but there’s no shortage of work needing your expertise. All you have to do is let me know where you want my recommendation sent.”

“Honestly, it would be difficult to leave the  _ Normandy _ , but I’ve already been thinking of leaving to try to help with the relays. They’re our answer to helping everyone get home again, and send resources where they’re needed. I think they have to be the priority right now. I have a feeling Ken will feel the same, but I’ll have to talk to him and see what his thoughts are too. I’ll let you know soon.”

“Sounds good to me. Obviously the same goes for Ken. You can tell him about all of this so you can discuss what you want, but I’d appreciate it if you don’t go spreading it around just yet. I’ll be making a formal announcement tomorrow.”

“Of course. Thank you for the opportunity.”

“Don’t even mention it. But anyway, that brings me to the real reason I called you up here.”

“Ma’am?”

“What did I say about that ma’am business?”

She laughed, shaking her head catching herself. “Sorry. Old habits I guess. I just figured that was what you wanted to discuss.”

“Not exactly. Actually, you might even call it a bit of girl talk, not that I’m particularly good with that. I mostly just wanted to check in with you, and see how things were going. How are you and Ken? I mean, I was the one that encouraged you two to finally get together, so I had to see how that’s been working out,” Jane said with a bit of a laugh.

“We’re really good actually. I know it sounds cheesy, but I always knew we’d be good for each other. I think Ken knew it too, but he always thought we worked well together and didn’t want to screw things up between us. Then our work became more important than ourselves when we came onto the  _ Normandy _ and he didn’t want any distractions.”

“Not that he wasn’t entirely distracted with every other woman on the ship. Honestly, sometimes I still wonder how he got someone like you with all those comments he made.”

Gabby laughed out loud to that. “He can be a bit of a sleazeball for sure, but I think most of those comments were just to add some levity to everything.”

“That’s a good point. Don’t get me wrong, I love Ken, he’s just… unique.”

“You could say that again,” she said with a fond smile.

“It sounds like you really love him.”

“I do.”

“You don’t think you’re moving a little fast? You only got together, what? Half a year ago?”

“Yes, but you have to remember that we’ve been best friends for the better part of a decade. The only thing that’s changed is that we’ve become romantically involved, which has just made my love for him deeper.”

Shepard nodded in understanding. “Well, then I’m really happy for the both of you. Sorry if it feels like I’m prying.”

“No, don’t worry about it. It’s kind of nice to have someone to talk to about him. He makes me happy.”

“You don’t have anyone else to talk to?”

“Well, not exactly. I have a few friends. Tali mostly, but as much as she likes Ken, he also annoyed the hell out of her,” Gabby said with a fond smile.

“No family?” she questioned a little more quietly than before.

“I’m afraid not. My parents, and younger sister fled to Sanctuary early on. I had lost contact, and didn’t think much of it at the time with how busy we were. But then when you discovered what happened there, I knew they were gone.”

“I’m so sorry, Gabby. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because everyone was suffering losses. People had their own problems to worry about, and we had a job to do. I wasn’t about to let their deaths be meaningless. I kept working for them, to make sure that however small my part was, that I was still putting everything I could of myself towards finishing this war once and for all.”

“I’m still sorry you had to go through that alone.”

“I wasn’t alone. I had Ken. It’s still hard, but he’s made it better.”

“Well then, good. I’m glad. Speaking of him though, some information has come to my attention.”

“Oh?” she asked almost worriedly.

“Yes, again, nothing bad. You have to stop worrying, Gabby.”

“Sorry.”

“Please don’t get mad at Chakwas. I figured this out by myself, but I heard you want to get off of your procreation blockers.”

“Oh, that,” she said, almost embarrassed, moving her hand up to cover her face.

“It’s okay, Gabby. Why didn’t you come to me?”

“You had enough to deal with. I figured if it was still important to us, we would be docking soon enough anyway, and we could decide to do it when we were off of active duty.”

“Well, I appreciate your concern, but my duties are way less than what they used to be. Regardless, that’s what I’m here for. I’m not just here to command soldiers, but to also be here for the needs of my crew. If this is important to you, then it’s important to me.”

“You’re right. I just hate to be a burden to anyone.”

“You’re not a burden, Gabby. If anything, you’re the exact opposite as far as I’m concerned. I’m not sure if anything we’ve talked about now might have changed your mind on the matter, seeing as how your career might be a bit uncertain, although I doubt that very much with your credentials, but just know that you have my permission if you want it. Is it still something that’s important to you?”

“Yeah, it is. Ken and I have been talking about it ever since we were stranded. Obviously that wasn’t a good time, we didn’t know if we would be able to fix the  _ Normandy _ by ourselves, or if anyone would ever find us. We had no idea what was going on, or if the war was really over, but we had already decided that we wanted kids if we were able to make it back home and see that it was really over. Ken lost his family too, you know. They were in London at the time of the attack. I know it almost sounds like we’re trying to replace our families, but that’s not it. We just wanted to make a new family of our own.”

“I think that’s a perfectly fine reason, Gabby. I’m really glad you have each other.”

“Me too.”

“And seriously, you have to stop thinking you’re a burden. If I’ve learned anything throughout this whole experience, it’s to not put the things you want on hold. Especially now while things are peaceful.”

“You’re right.”

“I know,” she smirked. “That’s enough. Get out of here, and go see Dr. Chakwas already!”

“Okay,” she said while standing up and heading for the door. “We will.”

“Oh and Gabby. I know I’m not technically your family, and it might not be as easy seeing each other much anymore after this, but if you ever feel alone, or you want someone to talk to, someone that isn’t Ken, I’ll be there. I hope that you know that I really care about the both of you.”

“I do, Shepard. We care about you too. Thank you so much for this,” instead of leaving right away, Gabby moved to give her a hug.

“Don’t mention it. And if I end up running back to the  _ Normandy _ , you better be ready for a call from me to come back to my engineering crew. Unless you’ve got your hands full with a baby.”

She smiled. “I don’t know if that would keep me away from the  _ Normandy _ .”

“You say that now.”

“That’s true. Who knows what will change. Thanks again, Shepard.”

Jane nodded her head towards the door with a smile on her face, signaling for her to get moving.

She remained there for a moment after the door closed behind Gabby. Overcome with a sense of guilt. Everyone seemed to acknowledge all of her sacrifice throughout the war, but it seemed like she was one of the luckier ones. So many of her close friends had lost everything. She still had her family, and if anything, it was getting larger. Not only because of the new life within her, but because of the bonds she’d created through all of the turmoil.

Even though she didn’t get to talk to Gabby and Ken as much as she would have liked throughout their time together, she could easily see Gabby as a sister. Ken was maybe a bit more of a stretch. He could stay the annoying brother-in-law, she thought with a grin. He was good for Gabby though. Someone a bit more lighthearted to bring her out of her shell. They balanced each other out, and for that she loved him too.

Shepard brought her hand up to rest on her abdomen as she looked down on it. “I love you too, Blueberry.”


	25. Still the Shadow Broker

Kaidan woke to find Shepard’s side of the bed empty again. He was disappointed in the thought that this was becoming a regular occurrence. It took him a few seconds to realise that the bathroom door was open a crack and the light was on.

He walked over, and opened the door quietly to see Jane sitting on the floor, close to the toilet, propped up against the wall with her eyes closed, and her hand on her stomach.

“So, does this mean you aren’t one of the lucky ones after all?” he said, trying to stay quiet and disturb her as little as possible.

“I guess not,” she groaned.

“I’m surprised it didn’t wake me up.”

“I didn’t actually throw up. I thought I was going to, but I couldn’t, and now the feeling just won’t go away!”

He sat down beside her, and wrapped his arm around her. “Is there anything I can do?”

“No, I think I’m just going to have to wait for it to become tolerable.”

“Okay, well it’s still a little early. I don’t think anyone should need either of us for a bit, so I can just wait with you.”

“Thanks.”

She was trying not to focus on it, so she figured now would be a good time to talk to Kaidan.

“So, I’ve been thinking…”

“What about?”

“I think I finally know for sure that I want to accept Hackett’s offer. It was already starting to feel like the right decision before, but then as soon as I found out that I’m pregnant, I keep thinking that it’s the best option for us right now. A job at an Alliance HQ would be secure, and I wouldn’t be put at risk. It’s mostly a desk job which means it’ll be more easily manageable. Neither of us would be required to ship out very often, so we can have a stable home. The more I think about it, the more it sounds kind of perfect.”

“Okay. I think I like the sound of that too. I’m sure Hackett will have something for me to do there.”

“He did say he would figure something out for you too, if that was all that was keeping me from the position.”

“Good to know. If that’s what you want, then it’s what I want too. It sounds like I have a lot of good options for myself there, and the most important thing to me is that we’ll get to be a family. Staying together on the Citadel seems kind of perfect.”

With that off of her chest, she started leaning her head towards him, trying to cuddle up beside him. She inhaled deeply, how she normally would, so she could feel at home, and close to him, but it seemed to be having the opposite effect on her. Suddenly she was lurching for the toilet and heaving immediately.

Kaidan went to help hold her hair out of the way of her face, and rub her back. As he got closer to her, she just pushed him away, as she heaved again. He didn’t want to leave her alone, so he just backed up and waited for it to be over. As she finished, he thought he heard a whimper in the toilet bowl.

“Jane? What’s the matter?”

“Your smell just made me throw up,” she said, clearly upset.

He immediately lifted his arms to smell if he had forgotten deodorant recently or something.

“No, you don’t smell bad. Just something about it made me throw up.” She wiped away a tear that had started to roll down her cheek. She wasn’t sure if it was from the force of vomiting, or from being upset about the cause. It really could have been either.

Kaidan felt awful that he couldn’t go to hug her immediately. All he wanted to do was comfort her. “Hey, hey it’s alright. We can figure something out. I’m sure we won’t have to be quarantined away from each other or anything. I had a shower right before bed last night, maybe it’s my soap. I’ll go see if Dr. Chakwas has any of that unscented stuff. Maybe while I’m there, I’ll ask her if she has any suggestions. Don’t worry. Do you think you’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. I just don’t want to be forced away from you. Especially not now.”

“I know. It’s killing me to not come over there and hug you right now.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I still don’t like it. I’ll go see her now. The sooner we can fix this, the better.”

“Thank you. Oh, before you go, I think I’m going to tell Liara today.”

“Already? We haven’t even told our families yet.”

“I know. But, you know… she is the shadow broker. It would be nice if she heard it from one of us first. I still don’t exactly want to go spreading it around, but even without all of her equipment up and running, she’s pretty resourceful.”

“That’s a good point. Okay, just let me know if you do, so I’ll know if I can mention it in front of her.”

“Will do,” she said as she finally stood up to rinse her mouth out.

He was still struggling not being able to say goodbye without hugging her after what had just happened. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Kaidan. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that. You have nothing to be sorry about. You can’t help it, and besides, I’m the one who got you in this position in the first place. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me.”

“Don’t you dare apologise for this. I may not be very happy with this particular side effect, but it’s for a good reason.”

“See, now you know how silly you sounded saying sorry.”

“Hmm. I guess you have a good point,” she said smiling at him.

“I know I do,” he said cheekily. “But I’m going now, and as soon as I’ve showered, I’m coming to find you and give you that hug.”

“Okay. I’m looking forward to it.”

\----

It had taken another half hour for Jane to be sure that she wasn’t going to vomit again the moment she stepped out of her cabin.

Still not trusting herself fully, she decided to bypass the mess hall, ignoring breakfast for now, and heading straight for Liara’s office. Before she entered however, she couldn’t help but notice Gabby and Ken in Dr. Chakwas’ office. The small smile spreading across her face was inescapable as she was contemplating the possibility of blueberry getting a cousin in the near future. Even after the morning she had just had, she couldn’t remember the last time she had been this happy, even though her life had admittedly been heading more and more in that direction as of late.

As she finally made her way into Liara’s office she was stunned by the silence that greeted her. There was usually so much tech running that sometimes Jane wondered how Liara managed to hear herself think, much less do all the work that she did. It was usually so loud that it managed to drown out the already loud noises of the ship most of the time. Not only that though, but Glyph had always been there to greet her. It wasn’t quite the same at all but sometimes Jane thought of him as Liara’s faithful puppy. Her little annoying, blue, talking, floating puppy. She couldn’t help but miss his cheerful greeting this time. She was surprised that she was still learning the full extent of the damage she had caused with the crucible. As it turns out it didn’t take very long to thwart at least a little bit of her earlier happiness away.

The sound of clanging and huffs of frustration coming from the far side of the room brought her out of her thoughts. She could see Liara’s feet sticking out from behind some crates by her personal terminal. Jane walked over to observe that she was under her desk clearly trying to fix something. 

Liara seemed to notice the fact that she had been covered by a shadow and looked up to see that Shepard had been watching her. She stood up quickly and brushed herself off. “Sorry Shepard. I guess I was so focused on this, I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“No problem. I can imagine you’ve got a lot of work to do to get things back up and running.”

“As does everyone, I suppose.”

“True enough.”

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure? Just coming to check in on me?”

“Not exactly. I have a bit of a secret to share.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with you giving up the  _ Normandy _ would it?” Liara asked with a cocky smile.

Shepard stared at her open mouthed for second before responding, “How did you know about that?”

“I know I don’t exactly have all of my resources at my disposal at the moment, but I am still the Shadow Broker. I’d like to think I’m still a good one at that.”

“Hmm. Well apparently.”

“So, it’s true?”

“Yes. Seriously though, who blabbed?”

“Don’t worry, they were being discreet, but it was Gabby and Ken. I don’t think they knew I have the feeds working again from the public areas of the ship. They were discussing it down in Engineering while no one else was there.”

“Well it doesn’t make that much of a difference anyway. I’m going to announce it later. Give people a chance to figure out what they want to do before we get back to Earth.”

“Mmm. I have to say, I’m not all that surprised.”

“No?” Shepard tested, wondering if Liara may know more than she first let on.

“It’s been about 4 years now since we’ve met hasn’t it? In that time, you’ve basically performed 3 suicide missions. Forgetting how ludicrous of a statement that is in itself, the only thing that ever stopped you was dying, and then, well, very nearly dying again. Your career may not have been quite that drastic before we met, but it certainly was no walk in the park either, with what you managed to pull off with Elysium, and going through N7 training. I know that being a soldier and a leader is what you’ve excelled at, but quite frankly, with your service record and with the sacrifices that you’ve had to make, I think I would have been more surprised if you weren’t going to consider taking things in a bit of a different direction.”

“When you put it like that, I guess you can’t really blame me for wanting a bit of a career change, and to try to look forward.”

“No, I certainly can’t. But also knowing you as your friend means I know that despite this being what you want, and knowing that this is what’s best for you, I also know that this can’t be easy for you either.”

Jane let out a huff and walked towards the window by Liara’s bed, crossing her arms in front of her chest, while rubbing them as though she were cold. “I suppose you do know me fairly well,” she said as her tone became a bit more quiet and contemplative. “I haven’t exactly told a lot of people yet, but everyone I have told so far has just been happy for me. It says a lot that you’re the only one who’s been sad for me too. Don’t get me wrong. I am happy about this decision. I’m making it for myself for once, but you’re right, it doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy for me either. I feel like I’m going to be leaving my family behind.”

“Here I was, thinking that you had just become taken with bossing people around,” Liara said playfully, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

Shepard scoffed with feigned indignation, “Who, me?”

Liara smiled at her. “This shouldn’t need to be said, but I’m going to say it anyway. Anyone who has ever served on the  _ Normandy  _ would do anything for you. You’ve always cared for your people, and proven it through your actions, and by being there to listen or help whenever they’ve needed it. Goddess knows you’ve been there for me. No matter how hard you tried, you could never leave your family behind. We’ll just be a bit more scattered than you’re used to.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right. I guess it’s just something I’ll have to get used to. I’ve lived on ships my whole life. I’ve always been surrounded by family and people. I guess the idea of it just feels a little bit lonely.” Shepard moved to sit on the edge of Liara’s bed, and looked at the floor before continuing. “Do you miss glyph?”

Liara was slightly taken aback by the question. “I have to admit, I think I took him slightly for granted. He was certainly more help than I had given him credit for, and I think I was leaning on him more than I had realised, but all things considered I really don’t think it will take much to get him back. Especially now that we’re not stranded and I’ll be able to acquire the resources fairly easily when we get back to Earth or the Citadel. He was only a VI after all. It’s not like the Geth, or EDI.”

Jane visibly flinched at the mention of the AI’s, as she hunched over resting her forehead on her hand. She had been working through a lot of her guilt with her therapist. It had helped a lot, but her currently sad state was bringing the feelings back again.

Liara quickly came to sit at her side, and placed a reassuring hand on her back. “I’m so sorry, Shepard. I didn’t mean to bring them up like that or insinuate any blame in what happened to them.”

Shepard wiped away a tear that threatened to be shed. “It’s okay. I know that’s not how you meant it. I just miss EDI. Sometimes I still wonder if I made the right choice.”

“Please try not to dwell on it, Shepard. I know it’s hard, but I wish you could see everything that has gone right with your decision as easily as the things you see that have gone wrong with it. You may not have been able to save everyone, but you saved the galaxy. That’s not a small feat.”

Shepard just nodded. Logically, she knew that Liara was right. No matter what, the decision had been made, and there was no going back now, but the consequences of choosing to destroy the Reapers were still fresh to her, and they were likely something that she would never be able to let go of fully. They sat together for a few moments in silence before Shepard let out a small huff of a laugh as she shook her head.

“What?” Liara asked.

“I just remembered something your mother once said.”

“What’s that?” she asked, genuinely intrigued now.

“She said, ‘There’s power in creation… To shape a life. Turn it towards happiness or despair.’”

As Shepard was silent for a pause, Liara could see that, in a vague sense, there were parallels between that and their conversation, but was still confused and struggling to see where this was going.

“I’m pregnant,” Jane said, and was immediately mad at herself for sounding more disappointed than she had planned or wanted to. This was supposed to be a happy revelation.

Liara simply gasped and stared at her wide eyed.

“Does this mean I finally managed to surprise you with something?”

“I suppose it does. Goddess, Shepard, this is wonderful news. Are you not happy?”

“What if I didn’t think this through, Liara? Your mother was right. There is power in creation, and I don’t know if it’s a power that I deserve. How am I supposed to be responsible for turning this life towards happiness after the life I’ve had, and the things I’ve seen. I’m responsible for so much death, how can I be responsible for a life?”

“How can you say that, Shepard? You are responsible for far more life than death at this point.”

“You know what I mean, though. Not everything I’ve done is a good thing.”

“Do you honestly think any parent would be capable of saying otherwise?”

“I guess not. But I don’t feel like it’s the same thing. All I know is the military. The only thing I’m good at is taking lives.”

“I think it’s odd that you see yourself that way, because I would be inclined to say that you’re good at saving them. Do you remember Major Kyle? You went in there with diplomacy and tact and managed to save everyone because you refused to accept that killing them all was the only option. What about when you became a war hero? I know you weren’t able to save everyone on Elysium, but without your strength and determination, none of them would be around today. You care so much about life that you might be the only soldier I know that will only take a life after being absolutely certain that death is the only answer.”

“I’m not trying to trivialize what it must be like having to live with a lot of the decisions that you’ve had to make,” Liara continued. “I know it isn’t. I’m just trying to help you see the other side of that coin. The good and the bad share the same place in your heart, but you never want to flip the coin over and see the beauty that the other side has to offer. I just don’t want to let the dark memories consume you.”

“You’re right,” Jane said, taking a moment to really try to take in what Liara was saying.

“So? Are you feeling better?" she asked, rubbing Jane’s back reassuringly.

“I guess a little bit. I don’t know though, Liara. Am I really cut out for this?”

“Why wouldn’t you be? Are soldiers not allowed to be mothers?”

“Of course they are, but I would hardly say that I’m any normal case.”

“No, maybe not, but that doesn’t change the fact of who you are. You’ve always had a nurturing way about you. I still think back fondly to the times that you brought me on to the  _ SR1 _ . I was so young and naive back then. I wasn’t a soldier, and I was scared, but you were always there for me, and would always come check on me to make sure I was okay. You were there for me when my mother died. And I’m hardly an exception. You’ve done this for all of your crew.”

“Maybe. But it’s still not exactly the same. You were all adults just looking for comfort or guidance. It’s different than being entirely responsible for somethings happiness and well being.”

“I know it’s probably not much of a consolation, but I think the fact that you’re worried about this is probably a good thing isn’t it? It means that you care.”

Shepard just let out a sigh, she knew Liara was trying to help, and it had to a certain degree. She wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to hear. She was just full of self doubt, and likely the only thing to make it pass would be time. Maybe it would never fully go away.

“I’m sorry I don’t have more to offer you, Shepard,” she said while resting her hand on Jane’s shoulder gently. “I’m not exactly well versed in the field of childrearing either.”

“It’s okay, Liara. You have actually helped a lot. And please don’t get the wrong idea either. This is a good thing. I don’t doubt that, and I am really happy. I guess I’m just afraid that I have no idea what I’m doing. It’s just so permanent, and that scares me.”

“I think that’s probably fairly normal, isn’t it? I think I would be too. It’s not like you only have to feel one way about this. I’m sure you’re absolutely ecstatic, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be scared.”

“Doesn’t it? I can just see the headline now,  _ ‘Admiral Shepard… Scared of a baby’.” _

Liara smiled at her joke, “Well, it’s a big responsibility. I think it’s entirely justified to be feeling this way. But at any rate, you’re not alone. You’ve already created this large, crazy family of misfits. We may be a bit more dispersed than before, but we’re all here for you. Not to mention your other half. He’s the one that got you into this mess, why aren’t you leaning on him right now?”

Shepard chuckled. “Because he makes me throw up right now.”

“Ah. I believe I’ve heard about that before. Morning Sickness is it?”

“Yes. I was hoping I would skip out on that symptom. No such luck, I guess.”

“I’m sorry. That can’t be pleasant. And forgive me, I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was trying to pawn you off onto Kaidan. I just meant that you have other people to be relying on too. I’ll always be there for you when I can. I may not have much advice about this particular topic, but I’ll always be around to listen, or help. I hope you know that.”

“Thank you. And I know. You’re the only one we’ve told yet, you know.”

“I’m flattered.”

“Good. You should be,” she said with a smirk.

“For what it’s worth, I know you will be a good mother. I know just hearing it likely isn’t enough, but it’s true. Even if everything else I said isn’t already any kind of indication as to what kind of parent you’ll be, you simply don’t fail. At anything. This will be no exception.”

Shepard finally laughed out loud at that one. “Okay. You’re right. I’m too stubborn to be bad at it. I guess that at least makes me feel a little bit better.”

Liara smiled, glad that she was at least able to ease Shepard’s tensions, but now she was the one looking solemn.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Liara let out a sigh before continuing. “I think the wisdom that comes with age can just be a little bit soul crushing sometimes.”

“Care to elaborate?” Jane said, genuinely interested in what could have changed Liara’s mood so much.

“We’ve already discussed this to some degree. While we were in the middle of the war, I was afraid of being so young and what that meant for me. That I could very well have lived to see the cycle end had we lost.”

“I remember. You said that you used to think that it was sad that most aliens lived such short lives.”

“Yes. And that maybe it’s not such a privilege to outlive so many. I’ve already had to come to terms with the fact that I will likely outlive you all. That is incredibly saddening in and of itself, but something that all Asari have to come to terms with. I guess your little secret has made me consider this in an entirely new light. Not only will I likely outlive you, but I could very well live to see more than 20 generations of your lineage.”

The sheer number of that had made Jane’s face contort in morose thought. It had certainly put their stark differences in a new perspective, and it made her feel bad for her friend.

“When you put it like that… well. I don’t envy you. It’s hard living with loss. I can’t even fathom having to live with it on such a grand scale. I guess that’s something entirely out of my scope now.”

“It’s okay. It’s an unfortunate part of life. I’m sure I will learn to cope. Nevertheless, this is truly a blessing, Shepard. I cannot wait to meet the newest member of our little  _ Normandy _ crew, even if we won’t technically be on the  _ Normandy _ any longer.”

Shepard had been looking out over all of the Shadow Broker’s equipment as Liara had finished her last statement. It had given Jane an idea.

“Actually, I might have a bit of a proposition for you. We’d have to talk to Hackett of course, but maybe we could arrange some sort of deal. You need a new base of operations, and I’m sure the Alliance could benefit from your ‘information brokering’. If we can get Hackett to see that it would be a benefit, maybe we could get him to forfeit the  _ Normandy _ to the MWII. It was the first vessel that was created as a combined effort between species. Even though this is technically the Cerberus version, I don’t think he could deny that the symbolism is perfect.”

Liara mulled it over for a moment. “Hmm. That might actually work. I would have to change the way I operate to some degree, however. I haven’t exactly been running at full capacity ever since Cerberus caught up to me. The  _ Normandy _ isn’t capable of housing everything I’d need, so I would likely have to be operating out of more than one location. I would likely need a second in command if that were the case. You’ve given me something to consider, Shepard. I think I quite like the idea.”

“Well, in that case, I’ll go ahead and set up that meeting then,” she said as she got up to leave. “But, in the meantime, I think I have an announcement to make.”

“Good luck, Shepard. The crew will miss you, but I know they’ll be happy for you too. They’ll understand you wanting to leave.”

“Thanks, Liara,” she said as she left.

She immediately went up to the cockpit so she could use the shipwide speakers. Kaidan was there talking to Joker, and Jane couldn’t help but see that he was purposely keeping his distance. He must not have had a chance to see Chakwas yet, since she was busy with Gabby and Ken.

“Hey, Kaidan. I talked to Liara.”

He just nodded his head with a smile.

“You should also know that I’m about to make the announcement,” she said as Kaidan quickly shot his glance up to hers. “About the job,” she quickly amended.

“Oh. Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

“Uh oh. Why do you guys sound so ominous up there,” Joker broke in.

“Because I’m about to announce my leaving the  _ Normandy _ .”

“Oh, no shit. Well, to be honest, I’m not all that surprised. I mean I am a little, but you’re an admiral now. Not many admirals run frigates. If anyone would have been an exception, it would have been you though.”

Jane smiled at that. “Yes, well I’ve decided to take my roll as admiral seriously. I’m going to be working at Citadel HQ.”

“Sounds like a good gig, Shep. I’m going to miss you. Mostly because you let me get away with a lot of stuff.”

“Riiight.”

“No, but really. I think you’ll make a great admiral. Things won’t be the same around here. Oh man, I guess that’s even if they let me keep flying. Now you just bummed me out.”

“Well, that’s a big reason why I’m announcing now. I’m going to officially give everyone two weeks of shore leave after this to hopefully give everyone enough time to figure things out. Anyway, Joker, can you patch me through to the ship please?”

“Sure thing,” he said pressing a couple of buttons and signalling to her that it was ready.

“Attention all  _ Normandy _ crew. This is Admiral Shepard announcing that as of the end of this tour, I will no longer be in command of the  _ Normandy _ . I will be granting everyone two weeks of shore leave to allow you to find new placement. If anyone needs letters of recommendation, I will be more than happy to do so. If you have specific placement requests, let me know as soon as possible so I can get the paperwork in order. I would like to take this time to personally thank each and every one of you. I know not everyone has been here since the beginning, but you have all helped make the  _ Normandy _ a home over the last few years. It’s been a pleasure serving with you all. Shepard out.”

“That was good, Jane,” Kaidan said, as he tried to move forward to give her a hug, but had to stop himself.

She nodded to him sympathetically. She was still thankful for the thought, but she hated that he had to do that.

“I guess I better go address all the questions,” she said, turning to leave.

“Goodbye, blueberry,” Kaidan said, before she could do so. As far as she was concerned, she didn't really want to tell anyone about the baby yet. It was like in the absence of being able to comfort her he was trying to antagonize her, but his sweet innocent smile meant that she couldn’t be mad at him. She figured it was his way of being able to address it while still keeping it a secret. She decided to just let him have it, as she shook her head and laughed.

“Ugh, you guys are disgusting! Take that mushy crap out of my cockpit already. And seriously, Kaidan? Blueberry? You couldn’t come up with anything better than that for your wife?” Joker said, berating them as she walked away shaking her head again.

On her way out, she received a lot of “Thanks for your service’s” and “You were the best commander I ever had”. She was grateful for these people for a lot of reasons. She would miss them all, but now was time for a new chapter in all of their lives.


	26. The Normandy's Future

The  _ Normandy _ had finally landed on Earth a few hours ago. The extra month that they had been gone had provided enough time for the Alliance HQ in Vancouver to reopen. There were still a few areas where the rubble hadn’t been cleaned up around the city centre, and a lot of buildings that still needed to be repaired, but the most needed buildings had all been fixed, allowing the city to start to become functional at least.

Shepard hadn’t had a chance to see much of it for herself, though. Only through the  _ Normandy’s _ external camera feeds while landing. She had been surprised to get coordinates for Vancouver instead of Abbotsford, so she had been interested to see the progress while they were flying over. It was far from the state they needed to be, but even seeing the roads cleared off, and things finally heading in the direction of rebuilding was inspiring.

She had successfully managed to get Hackett on the comms about a week ago, where she set up the meeting with him and Liara. She had decided to include Kaidan as well, since they would be discussing the job offer too.

After her crew had all departed, and her post tour checklist had been completed, she finally made her way down to the decon chamber where Liara and Kaidan had been waiting for her.

Kaidan wrapped his arm around her shoulder, feeling the same bittersweetness about the situation she was. The _SR-2_ may not have been the same, but the  _ Normandy _ was where they met. It’s where their relationship had started, and it was their first home in a lot of ways. They were excited to be leaving and starting their own new adventure, but it didn’t mean they weren’t sad about it too. Shepard reciprocated his gesture by caressing his opposite cheek, and giving the other one a gentle kiss, as the decontamination cycle began.

“I see the General is no longer making you sick,” Liara said, teasingly.

“Thankfully,” Shepard hummed in agreement. “Chakwas gave Kaidan some new soap, so we’re all good now. Or at least, he’s not the reason that I don’t feel well anymore.”

“Well, that’s something at least. I’m glad. I suppose that’s why your hair has looked so uncharacteristic as of late,” Liara said, giving Kaidan an amused look at his puffier hair.

“Don’t remind me,” he said, as he tried to flatten down his puff more. “Hopefully now that we’re here, I’ll be able to find some other hair products. At least without having to use my biotics, it’s kept the static to a minimum.”

“Hmm, I’m just glad that I’m not the only one having to deal with side effects,” Shepard said with a laugh.

Kaidan was clearly less enthused as he continued to try to flatten his hair down more, upset at how unprofessional he must look, but gladly taking the punishment for now. If it could help her laugh when she wasn’t feeling good, that would only be a bonus.

The decon cycle ended, and the doors opened, revealing a sunny day that still had a chill to the air. Not exactly something typical for Vancouver, but it was welcomed and refreshing.

“Are you ready for this?” Kaidan asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she said, being the first to exit. She was wearing her new admiral dress blues, exuding determination and purpose as she always did. She was slowly becoming herself again, even if her title had changed.

As they walked from the landing pad to the main building they could see construction drones busily at work throughout the buildings in the distance. Now that they had brought the drones back, it meant that reconstruction would likely go by a lot faster. Jane suspected that the whole city would likely be open within a matter of months at the current pace, resources permitting. That bode well for the state of the rest of the galaxy too. The drones must have only been brought back sometime within their tour, so they likely hadn’t been much help before, but they certainly would help things progress quickly now.

It made Shepard happy for what that could mean for the relays. Though as far as those were concerned, construction would only be half of the battle. Trying to figure out the tech would probably be the harder part, though she had no doubt that some of the best minds out there were already working on it.

As they finally got up to the level with Hackett’s office, Shepard paused in the reception area, looking around for something. Kaidan moved up behind her.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

She didn’t even respond as she started running off to the bathroom. The subtle urge to vomit had been lingering all day, but that had become commonplace over the last week, and it didn’t prevent her from having things to do. For the most part it was manageable, but something about the elevator ride unsettled her stomach enough for it to become urgent.

She ran to the first stall which had luckily been empty, and fell to her knees just in time to not make a mess all over the floor. It took a couple minutes for her to make sure that she was finished and regain her composure. She had her elbow on the toilet seat, resting her forehead against her hand, trying to get her breath back.

“I’m sorry to intrude, but are you okay?” Jane heard from behind her in a soft, concerned voice. Jane just clamped her eyes shut, and grimaced. This probably already didn’t look good, and she didn’t like that thought combined with how recognizable she was.

She opted to turn her head around to address the voice. That’s when she noticed that it was Kahlee Sanders.

“Admiral Shepard?” Kahlee asked in surprise.

The shock of seeing her was enough for another wave of nausea to hit, as she lurched forward and vomited again. It wasn’t just the shock of seeing someone she knew, but the fact that it was Kahlee specifically made it difficult. It had very suddenly brought on unaddressed feelings of Anderson.

“Do you need me to call a doctor?” Kahlee asked when Shepard was done again.

That didn’t bode well. She would probably want some answers.

“No, that’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I know your recovery was quite difficult.”

“Thanks, Kahlee, but that really won’t be necessary,” she said as she flushed the toilet and stood up, finally feeling enough like herself again. “This doesn’t really have anything to do with my recovery.”

“Well, okay. If you’re sure--,” she said, cutting herself off as she realised what Shepard was probably implying. “Oh,” she said absolutely shocked. To be honest that was Kahlee’s first thought when hearing a woman puking in a public washroom, but when she had seen that it was Shepard she was more concerned than anything which had made her completely forget about the possibility for her.

They shared an awkward bit of eye contact before she heard the door open. She was glad to see that it was only Liara coming to check on her. She just looked between the pair for a moment.

“Jane? Are you alright?” Liara asked.

“Yeah, I think I’ll be okay now. Thanks, Liara.”

“Oh, well let me get you a cup of water or something,” Kahlee said before immediately going to the water cooler.

“Thanks, Kahlee,” she said, as Kahlee handed her the cup. She took the first sip to swish around her mouth and spit out before drinking the rest.

“Well this was certainly unexpected. Congratulations, Admiral.”

“Please, Kahlee, you can feel free to call me Jane,” she said a bit hesitantly. She had barely liked the idea of telling Liara about this a week ago, but at least Liara was her closest friend. She didn’t exactly like the thought of this getting out yet. “But thank you,” she finally conceded. “Listen, though. I’m only about 9 weeks in. No one knows yet. Well, except Liara,” she said pointing to her friend, who smiled shyly at the gesture.

“Oh. Of course. I understand. You won’t have to worry about anything coming from me.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“I’m happy for you, Jane,” She said, pausing before continuing. “And just so you know, David would have been happy for you too.”

Jane inwardly cringed at the mention of him. She had wanted to confront Kahlee for some time, but she had been away setting up the new Grissom Academy while Shepard was busy stuck in recovery.

“Thank you,” she said with a painful smile. “I have a meeting that I’m already running late for, but I’ve been wanting to talk to you about him, actually,” Jane managed to get out.

“There’s something I’ve actually been wanting to get in contact with you about as well. I have a temporary apartment here for my stay. Could I maybe convince you to come to dinner tonight? You can invite your spouse too.”

“Sure, Kahlee. That sounds perfect.”

Kahlee gave her the coordinates along with a time for them to be there. They parted ways and Kaidan looked after her, concerned as they came out of the bathroom. Jane explained that she was fine, but now they had dinner plans that would likely get emotional, before going to talk to the receptionists and let them know they were here for Hackett. They were ushered in right away since they were already running behind schedule.

Hackett greeted them kindly enough, albeit giving Kaidan a questioning glare at his choice of hairstyle. Shepard still felt bad for wasting his time though.

“Sorry, we’re late Admiral. I ran in to Kahlee Sanders on the way in and got distracted,” she said. Not entirely lying about her situation, but also fudging the truth a bit.

“Oh good. So she’s told you about the apartment then.”

“What?”

“I guess not. I seem to have a knack for running my mouth lately,” he said concerned. “I told her you’d be in town today. She had wanted to tell you about it for a while now.”

“She did say that she wanted to talk to me, but we set up a dinner for it.”

“Ah. Of course you did. My apologies. At any rate, I guess I’ve already done the damage. She’s handed over her rights to Anderson’s apartment. I was trying to set up accommodation for you up on the Citadel should you accept my offer, and I found your name on the title. Anderson hadn’t included it in his will, and Kahlee’s was the other one, so as soon as you left on your tour I got in contact with her to see what the deal was. She immediately said that she didn’t want it and to give it to you. So I’ve had repair crews up there completing it for you. There was a decent amount of damage, but a lot of the items were salvageable. It should be ready for you now, should you want the job.”

“Wow,” she and Kaidan said, looking at each other. That certainly wasn’t what she had expected when Kahlee said she wanted to talk to them. The idea of taking the apartment didn’t feel right to them at all.

“With all due respect, sir. I don’t know if we can accept that. It really should be Kahlee’s.”

“Well, you yourself said you’re having dinner with her tonight. I’ll let you discuss it with her. I hope that doesn’t mean you’ve decided to reject my job offer?”

“No, actually. I’ve come to let you know that I accept.”

“Oh, that’s fantastic. I have to say, I was a bit worried for a moment there. You’ll do great. I’ve been getting a good Admiralty board set up there for the location. I think you’ll like the people you’ll be working with. I’ve also been looking into options for you, Alenko,” he said moving his gaze over to Kaidan.

“If you’d prefer to stay more in the Alliance, there are plenty of openings, but I’ve gotten word from the council that they would be interested in you to run Council security. They were happy with your service before, and as a Spectre, they’d like to have you again.”

Jane looked over at Kaidan, trying to gauge his reaction. He seemed receptive to the idea, which was enough for her, though she didn’t particularly care for the fact that it might put him in more danger than most positions for a General. Kaidan knew how to protect himself though, and she knew he would do fine if that’s what he wanted.

“I actually think I like the sound of that. Thank you, sir.”

“Great, now that that’s dealt with, I’ll give you each two weeks to get settled before reporting for duty. Let me know if you don’t end up taking the apartment, otherwise I’ll have to try to get you new accommodation asap.”

They nodded in acknowledgement.

“Good. Now I believe you told me there was another reason for wanting to meet today? I assume that’s why Ms. T’soni is here.”

“Yes,” Shepard said. “I know this will probably sound absurd to you, but please just hear me out before you say no.”

“Why do I have a feeling I’m going to end up regretting allowing this meeting,” he grumbled out. “Alright, go ahead.”

“Well, we were thinking that you should forfeit the  _ Normandy _ to the Interspecies Initiative, and let Liara run it.”

“Are you insane? That’s the galaxy’s most powerful ship. Why would you think I’d be willing to give it up?”

“I’d be willing to pay for a replacement,” Liara broke in entirely seriously.

Hackett huffed out a laugh at that. “You can’t be serious. Do you know how much the  _ Normandy _ cost to make?”

“I am well aware of how much it cost. I wouldn’t have offered if I couldn’t afford it.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with your information brokering would it? I don’t want to be indebted to the Shadow Broker.”

“I can assure you that won’t be an issue.”

“Listen, Ms. T’Soni, I’m grateful for everything that you’ve done throughout the war. You’re a big reason we’re all even here right now too, but I’m honestly not sure if your word is good enough in this case.”

“What if I said I can vouch for her?” Jane spoke up.

He looked at Jane and saw that she was serious. It made him wonder just how much about Jane’s career he didn’t know about even still. Could she have really known who the Shadow Broker was?

He was silent for another moment, clearly starting to give it some real thought, though still very much on the fence.

“Plus, think of how well this could go over as a peace offering,” Jane said. “It would do nothing but paint the Alliance in a good light. You get to be the generous hero giving away the best ship in the galaxy in the name of galactic peace. You can’t deny that the  _ Normandy _ has always been a symbol of interspecies cooperation. Not to mention that it would be a nice last way to give Cerberus the finger by giving their ship to a cause that they wouldn’t have stood for.”

“Hmm,” Hackett grumbled out in consideration for a moment. “I have to say, I don’t care for your attempted manipulation, Shepard. You should know by now that I’ve never cared for hero worship either, and I don’t need it as an excuse to do something nice. That being said, you’ve brought up some interesting points. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I actually might be okay with this. I’ll bring it to a vote asap, and let you know how it turns out.”

“Thanks for at least hearing me out, Steven.”

“Yeah, sure. If that’s everything, I’ve got far too much work to get back to. Seriously, you can’t start work soon enough for me. Be grateful that I’ve given you two weeks.”

“Oh, believe me, I am. Just one last thing. How’s my mother doing?”

“Why does it feel like any time you ask me about her, there are nefarious intentions behind your inquiry?”

“Don’t worry,” she said with a laugh. “No nefarious intentions here. I just haven’t managed to get in contact with her for a while.”   


“Oh, yes, well I sent her on a short mission to Terra Nova to bring back more refugees before she decides on more permanent placement. Ada went with her this time just so you know. In fact they should be returning shortly too. They might already be within comm range, if you wanted to try again soon.”

“Sounds good, Hackett. Thanks for letting us know. We’ll let you get back to work now,” she said as they all got up to leave his office.

As they left, Liara parted ways with them so they could all go about their days. Kaidan and Shepard went back to their temporary accommodation to freshen up before their dinner with Kahlee.

After they arrived, they admitted to her right away that Admiral Hackett had already told them about the apartment, and started off by protesting the idea of taking it. Kahlee immediately said that she wouldn’t be needing it thanks to setting up the new Grissom Academy. There would be permanent housing there for her, so she would have no need for it.

Kahlee had even gone as far as to say that she and David had already discussed it before the end of the war, should one or both of them not make it. David had technically told Jane that the apartment was hers now, but Jane never thought that to mean permanently. She had never intended on keeping it past their forced shore leave. Short of Kahlee and David both retiring, neither of them were ever on the Citadel ever since David relinquished his councilor status. Kahlee simply didn’t have the need for such an extravagant apartment.

She had also told them that Hackett had let it slip that they had gotten married there. Kahlee liked that they already had a special attachment of their own with the place. She said that if she lived there it would only be filled with memories of all the things that she had planned for with David, but for them they could make all new memories of their own, especially with a new baby on the way.

In the end they had all finally agreed that it was in everyone’s best interest for Kaidan and Jane to take it, with the stipulation that if Kahlee ever needed a place to stay, that it was always there for her. It meant that they would have a home, Kahlee wouldn’t be burdened by a house that she didn’t want, and the Alliance wouldn’t have to find new housing for anyone. They had even offered to pay Kahlee, but she told them that the Alliance had already reimbursed her for it. She told them to think of it as a signing bonus.

The rest of their evening was both more relaxed and more emotional. They shared stories of David, and sentiments of how much they missed him. Jane had told Kahlee about their last conversation together. About how much he loved her, and how much he regretted not being able to settle down with her. Jane told her about how she had stayed with him as he passed, to let her know that he wasn’t alone.

As Jane remembered him fondly, she realised that she had somewhat followed in his footsteps, and vowed to herself to continue to lead on under his example. If there was ever a worthy cause to aspire to, it was to be as good of a role model as he had been to her.


	27. A Reason to Celebrate

It was currently one week since they had all had their meeting with Admiral Hackett. He had proposed the idea of giving up the  _ Normandy _ to the acting Admiralty board a few days prior. The vote had ended up passing with 60% in favour. Jane was almost surprised that many people managed to see things from her point of view, but she was glad for it. And she was ecstatic that Liara would be the one getting the  _ Normandy _ now.

As for Kaidan and Shepard, they had only ended up staying on Earth for a day before heading to the Citadel. They figured that if they were going to be living there, they should try to start setting it up to their needs while they had shore leave. They were surprised to see that it had almost looked identical to how it was before the war ended. Hackett must have invested a lot in repairing it. A lot of the furniture had been replaced, but the general structure was the same, and there were a lot of boxes littering the place. Some of which were old belongings that were still functional, and a lot of them were new items like replacement dishware. Hackett had told them to requisition anything else they might need.

Since the Citadel was still in the Sol system, it was only a few hours shuttle ride away. This was the first time they had even been back since the end of the war. It had only just started opening up to more people, though it was still reserved for working personnel at the moment. Before this, they had no idea what the extent of the damage would be. It had certainly taken a lot of its own damage, but it seemed like there had been a large focus on getting it back up and running considering how it was the powerhouse of the galaxy.

It looked like a lot of it would be back up and running shortly, they just wanted to keep out the general public until completion to avoid looting, and promote as much of a normal a life as possible. The strip had already somehow seemed to be entirely reconstructed, though completely empty which was eerie to say the least. It was almost humorous that the worst amount of damage seemed to be that whatever had been left of that sushi restaurant was now entirely gone. That damn restaurant was going to be the bane of her existence.

After they confirmed that the apartment would, in fact, be theirs and was in good enough condition, they had invited both of their mothers over to come see their new place. Hannah had brought up the fact that they had been so busy as soon as everyone was reunited that they had totally forgotten to celebrate Jane and Kaidan’s marriage. Everyone had so easily become family through hard times and necessity that it had almost been easy to forget about the fact that they had gotten married, but Hannah didn’t want to ignore their commitment to one another. She suggested to at least do something, even if it was just a simple toast while they were there.

Jane and Kaidan liked the idea but for now they were only planning on toasting the marriage. They had decided to wait to tell anyone else about the baby. Advancements in medicine had been astounding in the last century, but combining 2 sets of human genetics was still a fickle thing, and miscarriages were still relatively common under the best of circumstances. They didn’t know how Kaidan’s biotics might affect the baby, and even though Shepard had been doing remarkably well, she was still recovering.

They were both optimistic and felt like their chances were good that this was going to turn out well, but they decided to err on the side of caution anyway at least until after the first trimester. They knew how excited both of their mothers were to be grandparents, and didn’t want to have to break their hearts too if anything bad should happen.

Hannah made sure to put an order in to give everyone shore leave as soon as they got their invitation to the Citadel. Pretty much no one on her detail had stopped working when the war ended for the most part, and her dreadnought was well overdue for a small break. Ada had continued to work as a nurse, and decided to follow Hannah on the  _ Orizaba _ instead of opting to stay on Earth. She figured it would be her chance to see the galaxy. That meant that they would conveniently be arriving together, and planned to stay at the apartment with them for the whole first week of their shore leave, because that was all of the time off that their children had as well.

Shepard was deep in thought as she looked out the window, waiting for their arrival.  _ ‘This is going to be one long week.’ _ She was definitely looking forward to seeing her mother again, and she admittedly had missed Ada a lot as well. They had easily become close throughout her recovery, but it would be hard keeping a secret like this from them for that long in the midst of their physical presence.

Kaidan had come to stand behind Jane, letting her rest her head against his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her, lifting up her shirt just enough to place his hand over where their child rested safely. “So, do you think we’ll really be able to keep this a secret?” he said breaking the silence as though he were reading her mind.

She moved her hand down to meet his. “Not if we keep stealing moments like this.”

Kaidan kissed the side of her neck, and the contact made a jolt of desire spread through her. Of course that was the exact moment the doorbell rang, and she silently cursed him for even touching her when he knew their mothers would be there any minute.

They straightened up, and went to let Hannah and Ada in. They both had absolutely beaming grins on their faces as they were clearly excited to be seeing their children again under good circumstances for once. Both of them hugged their respective children first, until moving on to the other.

Ada was the first to speak. “My word, Jane, you look wonderful. You must be healing well. I can’t even tell if you have a limp at all anymore.”

“Thank you, Ada. I’m actually feeling pretty good these days.”

“She’s right, honey. There’s something about you. You look radiant.”

_ ‘Shit, she never compliments my appearance like that. Does she know something? Is her motherly intuition that good? Am I reading too much into this?’ _

“Uh oh. You better not call her that. I’ve already learned the hard way that your daughter takes that to mean she’s radioactive,” Kaidan said with a laugh.

Shepard just elbowed him as she grimaced. Though really she was relieved that he brought her out of her mini panic attack.

Both of the mothers just smiled at their playfulness.

“I guess we should give you the tour then. We can show you to your rooms so you can leave your bags, and get freshened up if you want,” Jane offered.

“That sounds perfect, honey,” Hannah said as she linked arms with her daughter.

Kaidan took his mother’s bag, and followed after everyone. They had opted to let Hannah stay in the room downstairs, and Ada would be in the room beside them upstairs. After dropping off their bags, and quickly showing off the apartment, they had all stopped at the living room to relax.

Hannah and Ada were sitting on the couch, while Shepard opted to lean against the bar for now. Kaidan had excused himself to the kitchen to pour everyone but Shepard a glass of champagne. They already had a decoy of sparkling apple cider waiting, so no one would question why she wasn’t drinking.

“The apartment’s amazing, Jane. I have to say, I’m a bit surprised that Anderson would just give it to you,” Hannah said.

“I know. It really should have gone to Kahlee, but she fought us pretty hard to take it. She really didn’t want it anymore. We never would have taken it if the Alliance hadn’t at least paid her for it though.”

“Well that’s good then at least.”

That’s when Kaidan walked in, holding a small tray with 4 glasses on it. He made sure to hand Shepard hers first to make sure he didn’t screw up which one was the sparkling apple cider. He ended up standing by the window, closer to where his mother was sitting.

Hannah raised her glass. “Shall we have that toast then?” She paused for a moment, making sure everyone was ready, “First I’d like to say thank you to Kaidan. You are the picture of everything that I would have hoped for my daughter. I’ve seen first hand how much you care about her, and how happy you make her, and I know that goes both ways. I know your marriage isn’t about me, but I feel like I have to let the both of you know how much it’s already changed my life for the better. My family has always been small. For the first time in my life, I finally feel like I know what it would have been like to have a sister, after having found Ada. I only wish we could have met sooner. Not to mention, it feels like I have a son of my own now too. I truly love each and every one of you in this room. I don’t care about the circumstances about how you got married, I’m just so glad you managed to find each other, and make it to where you are now. To a long and happy marriage.”

Ada had clearly wanted to say something, but became emotional from hearing Hannah’s speech, so she simply struggled out a “same goes for me” while wiping her eyes. Kaidan and Jane still both appreciate the sentiment, knowing that she meant it, and would have said something more if she could.

Kaidan and Jane thanked them both. Jane was struggling to hold back tears of her own thanks to her newfound emotions that she didn’t want to make known. Luckily her willpower was still strong, and forced her eyes to be rid of them before any were shed down her cheek.

They all raised their glasses to one another, before taking a drink.

After having a moment to calm down, this is when Ada finally decided to speak up. “So when are we getting some grandchildren?” she said, only slightly joking.

_ ‘Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.’ _ Shepard’s eyes flew open, as she tried to hold back a grin. She knew she wouldn’t be able to keep any secrets with the conversation leading down this line of questioning. Really she should have expected as much. Sure Ada hadn’t ever blatantly asked anything like that before, but she sure had hinted at it enough. It was only a matter of time really.

Hannah had laughed at Ada’s boldness. Of course she wanted grandkids too, but she would never be the one to vocalize it so willingly. The last thing she wanted to be was pushy. She glanced up at Jane, wanting to give her a playful eye roll, when she noticed the look on her daughter’s face, as she was starting to walk away.

Shepard tried to silently make a break for the kitchen as she heard Kaidan start chastising his mother. She needed a minute to compose herself, hopefully before anyone noticed.

No such luck. Hannah was right behind her, of course.

“Jane?”

“What?” She said, trying to cover her face with her champagne flute as much as possible.

“Are you pregnant?” She asked, making sure to keep her voice low, to avoid drawing any attention from the other room.

Shepard just met her gaze, wide eyed, without saying anything.

Hannah reached for Jane’s glass, and took a sip.

“Oh my god!” The pitch in her voice had raised now, but she was still managing to stay quiet. “You are, aren’t you?”

Jane was starting to cry now. So much for that willpower. If Hannah hadn’t been sure before, that was enough to take away any doubt in her mind. Jane simply did not cry. At least not for no reason.

Hannah gently took her by the elbow, and led her to the back office for some more privacy. She looked back to see that Kaidan and Ada were still deep in conversation and hadn’t noticed.

“Why are you crying?” she asked, sympathetically.

“I don’t know! What is this?! I don’t like feeling like this!”

Hannah couldn’t help but give a small laugh at her daughters predicament.

“And now you’re just laughing at me.”

“It’s just hormones, sweetie,” She said while rubbing Shepard’s back reassuringly.

“Well, I don’t like it! I’m known for being able to keep my emotions in check. When is this going to end?”

“Never,” Hannah answered with a big grin. “Becoming a parent changes that about you.”

Jane just stared at her, hoping she wasn’t serious.

“If you want a serious answer, the worst of it will be out of your system after you decide to finish breastfeeding.”

“Fantastic,” she replied sarcastically. She let out a big sigh before continuing. “We were trying so hard to keep it a secret from you guys.”

“Why? You don’t have to do that. You know we’re both looking forward to it.”

“I know. It’s just still pretty early. We wanted to wait to see if everything was okay first.”

“Well the secret’s out now. Give me all the details. How far along are you?”

“We think I’m about 10 weeks.”

“You think? So this wasn’t planned then?”

“Well it was and it wasn’t. It’s kind of a long story. But the shortened version of it is that we went to get our blockers removed, only to find out that I was already pregnant.”

“Wow. That must have been quite a shock.”

“It was, but at least we had already decided to start trying, so it was a welcome one. Just sooner than expected. I have my first appointment next week. We were probably going to tell you after that.”

Hannah brought her in for a hug. “I understand. But 10 weeks is already pretty far. I know it’s not past the first trimester, but you’re getting close now. I wouldn’t worry.” She stood back and wiped a tear from her daughter’s cheek.

“I’m just so thrilled for you, Jane. I’m sure you remember that this was the last thing that we talked about during the war. I’m happy that you’re getting a chance to experience the things that you wanted.”

“Thanks, mom,” She said, while wiping away whatever remained of the tears. “I guess it would just be cruel if we kept Ada in the dark now, wouldn’t it?”

Hannah just smiled at Jane, before following her out of the room.

“Well, the jig is up,” Shepard announced, walking back into the living room. “Remind me never to play poker with my mother, because she can read me like an open book.” She looked over to her husband now. “She knows, Kaidan.”

“She knows what?” Ada asked curiously.

Kaidan smiled at Jane. “Well that lasted all of what? Half an hour?” he said ignoring his mothers prodding. “I guess we really should have known better.”

Shepard just shrugged.

“Mom, you’re going to be a grandma.”

“What?! Oh, Kaidan!” She said, excitedly while slapping her son on the shoulder. “I knew you were lecturing me too much for bringing it up.” She jumped up and down for a second before starting to cry out of happiness. “Congratulations, Jane!” she said as she went over to hug her.

“Please don’t cry! If you start, then I’m going to start.”

It was already too late for both of them. Hannah and Kaidan just shared a laugh, as she went to congratulate her son-in-law. Jane cursed at herself as she tried waving her hands at her eyes, desperately trying to stop the tears. It was so out of character, that this just made everyone laugh, including Jane.

The rest of the evening was filled with celebration. The two older women shared their embarrassing stories of raising their children. Each stating the things they were most looking forward to seeing in their grandchild as they reminisced about their favourite parts of becoming parents themselves. As much as Shepard was enjoying the evening, the pregnancy was already starting to tire her out more easily, so she had decided to go to bed early.

\---

She woke with a bit more of a start than usual. The tiredness was still fogging her brain. She hadn’t been startled awake by a noise or otherwise obvious reason. She hadn’t had a nightmare. Kaidan was still sleeping soundly beside her. Then suddenly her stomach contents were obviously threatening their way out, as she ran for the bathroom. Luckily she made it to the toilet in time before she started vomiting.

This was far from the first time she was sick at this point, but it was the first time that it had happened so suddenly, and in the middle of the night. She brought up her omni-tool to check the time. 02:13.  _ ‘God damn it.’ _ Her adrenaline was pumping from the suddenness of how she woke up, and it was extremely unlikely that she would be able to go back to sleep any time soon.

She could see that Kaidan was still asleep, so she opted to go downstairs and relax where she hopefully wouldn’t disturb anyone. The blinds were drawn, so the apartment was dark, except for some dimmed lights on in the living room. As she walked closer she could see that her mother was looking at some book, and watching  _ Fleet and Flotilla. _

“Mom? What are you still doing up?”

“I was too excited to sleep. It’s silly, I know. You still have 30 week to go, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the baby. Speaking of which, what the hell are you doing up? My grandchild needs you to rest,” She said teasingly.

“Well it was your grandchild that decided to wake me up,” Jane replied, rubbing her arms that were suddenly chilled by the night air. “I just spent the better half of the last 10 minutes puking.”

Hannah noticed that she was cold, so she offered up one half of the blanket she had wrapped around her.

“Ah. Well in that case, come join me,” She said, pointing down at what Shepard could now see was a scrapbook, with real physical pictures that she was looking at. It was rare to see anything like that these days, but it had been a hobby of Hannah’s when she had her down time. Shepard sat to join her, as her mother readjusted the blanket around the both of them.

“I wanted to bring this out to embarrass you with funny stories of your childhood in celebration of your marriage. After your announcement, I totally forgot about it until I started unpacking my bag. I brought it out to look at it, and instead of the funny stories, it has a whole new meaning now. My baby in these pictures is about to have her own baby. You’re going to be the one making these memories.”

Shepard looked down at the pictures as she rested her head on her mother’s shoulder, hugging her mother’s arm close to her.

“Oh, look here. This one of you with your father,” she said pointing down to a picture of Jane around 5 years old. They were at an Alliance awards ceremony, happily sitting on top of her father’s shoulders pointing at the sky. “This was the first time you went to Earth. You were thrilled to be seeing birds with your own eyes.”

It was the same trip with the puppy incident, of course.

“He looks so young there.”

“Well, he was young.”

“I miss him. I wish I got a chance to know him better.”

“Me too. He loved you, you know.”

“I know,” she just paused for a moment. “It’s all going to go by in the blink of an eye, isn’t it?”

“Yes. That saying definitely has merit after you have kids. It’s kind of funny. For the first few years, you’ll keep being shocked. You might have already experienced this a little bit. You were planned, but I was constantly shocked that I was actually even pregnant to begin with. If you’re anything like me, you might even forget that you are on more than one occasion.”

“How did you manage that?” Jane laughed.

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. I guess it’s mostly just that nothing really changes at first. Especially at your stage when there’s still no physical proof to remind you constantly. You may know that there will be a baby soon, but it won’t be here for a while. Life goes on. It’s easy to get lost in the day to day, especially when you’re as busy as I was, which I no doubt suspect you will be too.”

“But anyway… that feeling only starts now. It will be a little bit slow at first. After the baby is born, you’ll constantly be shocked that you actually made this perfect, tiny human. Then you’ll wonder how you could possibly have a one year old already, starting to talk and walk. Before you know it, you won’t even remember when that baby became a fully functioning five year old, going off to her first day of kindergarten. And then, like you said, in the blink of an eye, they’re thirty-two years old, and saving the galaxy.”

“Hmm. Not if I have anything to say about it,” Jane said with a slight smile. Her eyes were closed, just listening to her mother, letting her voice comfort and relax her.

“I can’t say that I liked it much either. I think every parent likes to think that their child will be destined for great things. Dealing with the reality of it can be a lot harder to bare.”

Jane was silent for a moment. She knew that her mother must have had a hard time dealing with her career, but they had never talked about it before. “I’m sorry I put you through that.”

“Don’t be. I’m so proud of you, Jane.”

“I wish people would stop saying that.”

“Why? You did such an amazing thing. I honestly don’t think we could have won this war without you.”

“Maybe. But it came at such a heavy cost, that it really makes me question if I deserve the praise. I’m tired of people giving me some hero complex.”

“Oh honey. I’m not just  _ anyone _ saying that. I’m not proud of some  _ hero _ . I’m proud of my daughter. I’m proud of the girl that I’ve watched dedicate her life to hard work, and developing strong morals. The girl that always knows how important it is to keep her wits about her, whether that be in the battlefield, or in the council chambers. The girl that never let her convictions falter, and whose will is so strong that you never gave up for anything. I’ve seen all of these things in you for your whole life. That’s what I’m proud of. Everyone else is just seeing it in you all at once through your efforts from the war. It would be hard to not see you as some kind of hero.”

“Damn it, mom! You know how easy it is for me to cry right now,” she said as she was trying to blink away the tears. “I don’t know how reassuring that is though. Is it so bad to want some normalcy?”

“Not at all, sweetie. But what you want and what you’ll get are probably two very different things.”

Shepard let out a very audible sigh. She was starting to feel flushed, and she was pretty sure it wasn’t out of embarrassment of her mother’s analysis of her. She put the back of her hand up to her forehead, trying to let the feeling pass.

“Jane, are you alright?”

“Just feeling nauseous again.”

“What can I do for you? Do you have any crackers?”

“No.”

“Well we should change that. We’ll go check the Alliance rations tomorrow and try to get you some things that helped me when I was pregnant with you. I’m sure Ada will have some suggestions too. Maybe you should try to get in contact with your doctor before that appointment. They might be able to prescribe you something.”

Shepard just hummed in agreement.

“What about a bucket for now then?”

“I think I’ll be okay, mom.”

“Are you sure?”

She paused for a moment. “There’s one behind the bar. Maybe grab it just in case,” she finally agreed, not entirely trusting herself, suddenly glad that her secret had been let out. If it hadn’t been earlier, she was sure her nausea would have outed it for her, and this way everyone would be less concerned.

Hannah gladly obliged. It wasn’t common for her to be able to take care of her daughter anymore, so she would take advantage of the opportunity. It was nice to feel needed again.

She sat back down on the couch, lowering the bucket to the floor in front of Jane, and putting her feet up on the ottoman.

“How about you try to distract me.”

“How so?”

“Why don’t you tell me how things are going with Hackett.”

“What exactly are you getting at, Jane?” she said, clearly somewhat amused.

“I think you’ve been keeping something from me.”

“I haven’t been keeping anything from you,” Hannah scoffed. “I guess I’ve just been trying to decide exactly what we are.”

“But you’re still together?”

“Yes.”

“And the age difference hasn’t been bothering you?”

“It’s been surprisingly easy to ignore that little detail when we’re together.”

“Good. I’m glad you’re happy,” Jane said, eliciting a smile from her mother.

“Speaking of him, have you told him about your little development yet?”

“No,” Jane said with a bit of laughter. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but he tends to be a bit of a gossip these days. If I had told him, there’s no way you wouldn’t have already found out about this.”

“I had actually noticed that. It might be the man’s only flaw,” Hannah said, making them both laugh.

“I’ll tell him soon. Probably after that appointment with Chakwas. I know the Alliance should probably be prepared for it.”

“He’ll be happy for you,” she said, wrapping her arm around her daughter again, signalling for her daughter to use her lap as a pillow. “Here. Come lie down. Maybe we can fall asleep to this movie.”

Shepard curled up on the couch, resting her head on her mother’s lap.

Hannah draped the blanket over her, and started to gently rub her lower back. It was always sore during her pregnancy with Jane, and she figured it was likely no different for her daughter. Jane hadn’t complained, so she just continued for now.

The rest of the world may have gotten to see Jane as the hero, but she felt privileged to see the version that was her sweet and innocent daughter.

She glanced from Jane, back to the screen. “So was this from Anderson’s collection, or yours? To be honest, I wouldn’t have really pictured either of you with this movie.”

Shepard laughed. “It’s Tali’s, actually. She made me watch it with her while we were on shore leave together. She must have forgotten it.”

“Ah, okay. That makes more sense.”

“I’m surprised it survived, honestly.”

They watched in silence together for a while until it got to the part where the protagonists were declaring their love for one another. This was when Hannah heard sniffling.

“Jane, are you crying?”

“What? No!”

She obviously was.

“I thought you hated this movie.”

“I do! Even more now that it’s making me cry. They’re just so in love. They’re like Tali and Garrus. I miss them so much.”

“Oh boy. Kaidan’s sure got his work cut out for him,” she teased.

“Mom!”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m just kidding, sweetie,” she said, starting to gently rub her back again. “This is all perfectly normal. If you want the silver lining, it’s probably even a really good sign that things are going well. This and the nausea means that your hormones are increasing. As much as it might not be pleasant for you right now, it’s still a good thing.”

“Well, I’ve always been one to appreciate silver linings,” she said, finally managing to calm down again. “Thanks mom. You always seem to know exactly what to say.”

“That’s what moms are for.”

They continued to watch the movie in silence until they finally both managed to fall asleep. Hannah’s arm was protectively resting on top of Shepard’s frame. In this moment they weren’t Admirals. They weren’t leader of logistics of the Crucible project, or Savior of the Galaxy. They were just mother and daughter. Three generations safely nestled together in a much needed moment of normalcy.


	28. Small Galaxy

Today was a big day. It was going to be Jane’s first real official checkup to see how her pregnancy was progressing. She and Kaidan were both extremely excited, but Shepard would have been lying if she wasn’t a little nervous. Before this, she had no real confirmation that things were going okay. What if something was wrong? She also knew that she was jumping way ahead of herself though. No reason to get all worked up over something when everything was likely fine anyway.

In their excitement, they realised that they had left for the appointment far too early, and were now going to have to sit there waiting for 20 minutes before Karin was scheduled to see them.

The waiting room for the maternity clinic was unsurprisingly fairly empty. With it being closed to most of the general public still, there weren’t that many people living up here at the moment. Most of the people staying here were working on repairs and were probably too busy to be thinking about starting families. Shepard suspected that this was just the calm before the storm for them though. She would be surprised if there wouldn’t be a huge baby boom within the coming year.

They had only been sitting for a few minutes when another couple walked in. The first thing that Shepard noticed was the large belly. This woman was definitely getting close to the end of her pregnancy.

Kaidan leaned in close to Shepard and whispered, “That’s going to be us in a few months.”

Shepard turned to look at him totally beaming with a big grin on his face. He was so happy. She was too, but the prospect of that being her soon clearly wasn’t as appealing as it was to Kaidan. That was also when she heard the voice of the woman checking in with the asari nurse.

“We have an appointment for Brynn Taylor.”

Shepard just went wide eyed, and tried to hide her face. She hadn’t even told many people that she was pregnant yet, she didn’t particularly want Jacob and Brynn to be among the first to find out. What were the chances that they would have an appointment at the same time. For the galaxy supposedly being so big, she couldn’t help but realise just how small it really was. If only they hadn’t come so early.

Kaidan leaned in again, noticing that Shepard had started acting weird. “What? What’s wrong?”

“You never made it back to Earth in time to meet them, but that’s Jacob and Brynn.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I didn’t exactly plan for them to be among the first people to find out about this.”

“Well, it’s not the worst thing. Besides, we’re kind of the only other ones here, it’s not like we can blend in and get away with it now anyway.”

Shepard just irritably let out a grunt to that.

“You know them. At least they’re trustworthy. It’s not like they’ll start telling anyone.”

“I guess so.”

This is when Shepard and Kaidan both looked toward the other couple to realise that they had just turned around from the desk to sit down, only to see who was sitting in front of them, with their mouths open in shock.

Shepard just slumped down in her chait, putting her hand over her face.

Kaidan decided to take the opposite approach and walked over to them.

“Hi. Jane just told me who you are. I’m Kaidan. It’s nice to finally meet you in person, Jacob,” he said, shaking his hand. “And Brynn. I can never thank you enough for how you helped Shepard. Would it be too forward to give you a hug?” he asked.

“Oh, no, of course not,” she said as she hugged him.

Jacob was still standing there in shock, just looking at Shepard. “So wait. If you’re here…? Seriously?”

Brynn elbowed him in the gut really hard at the comment. “Honestly, Jacob, I thought you would have learned your lesson by now,” she scolded him. Then she went and sat next to Jane. “You know, he told me about the conversation he had with you on Gellix. How he just kept making assumptions about you. I mean, I guess it’s hard not to make this particular assumption about you right now, considering where we are, but he didn’t have to seem so shocked about it.”

“Hey, Shep, don’t get me wrong, this is great news,” Jacob interjected. “It’s just really unexpected. I mean… the last time we saw you… I know you were on the road to recovery, but you were still in pretty rough condition.”

“Well, you can thank the genetic and physical therapy for all of that. Turns out they work really well.”

“Well, you look fantastic,” Jacob said.

“Thank you.”

“So, we’re not just making idiots of ourselves are we? You’re not just here for a friend or something? There really is a congratulations in order?” Brynn asked.

“Yeah, I’m afraid you’ve figured us out. We’re having a baby,” she said, finally giving them a smile.

“Oh, I’m so happy for you!” Brynn said while leaning over to give Jane an awkward hug since the arms of the chairs were getting in the way. Jane couldn’t help but smile. She could feel how genuinely happy Brynn seemed to be for them. Even though it had been a relatively short amount of time that Brynn had needed to fix Jane’s cybernetics, their time together during her recovery was enough that Jane considered her to be a friend now. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad that they’ve found out already. It was almost kind of nice to start sharing the joy.

“Thanks. We’re really excited. But listen, we haven’t really told much of anyone yet. So please, don’t go spreading it around. If you happen to see anyone that we know, just assume we haven’t told them yet.”

“Oh, of course. Is that why you looked so defeated when you recognized us?”

Jane let out a small laugh. “I guess you could say that. This is only our first appointment after all.”

“Ah. Yes, well that can be a bit nerve-racking in itself. So you’re still rather early on then?”

“I’m actually almost in the second trimester already. We just found out a bit late. It was a bit of a surprise. A good one though, don’t get me wrong. But hey, enough about me, look at you! You must be getting close now.”

“Ah, yes,” Brynn said, looking down, and rubbing her stomach slightly. “Just 4 more weeks left for me. Are you staying on the Citadel now?”

“Yes. I’ve been assigned to help setup and run the new Alliance headquarters here. Kaidan’s been asked to run Council security. What about you? Is your position here permanent now?”

“Yes, that seems to be the case at least for now. I’m still trying to help bring the tech back, and Jacob’s trying to help with construction. That way he can be around for this little miss,” she said, emphatically rubbing her belly again.

“Little miss?”

“Yes, it’s a girl. We found out shortly after we left Earth.”

This is when the receptionist called out. “Brynn, we’re ready for you.”

Brynn stood up to walk away, but turned to Shepard one last time before leaving. “If you’re going to be on the Citadel for a while, we should stay in touch. You have my contact info.”

“Yes. That would be nice. I’ll try to talk to you soon, Brynn,” she said as she gave a goodbye wave.

When they were out of sight, Kaidan decided to sit back down beside Jane. “See, now that wasn’t so bad was it?” he said as he entwined his fingers with hers on the arm rest.

“No, I guess not. I might even go as far as to say that it was kind of nice.”

Kaidan smiled at her. “Does that mean we can start telling people?”

“Let’s just see how this appointment goes first, shall we?”

As if on cue, that’s when Dr. Chakwas walked through the doors. She had been working in the emergency department, and only made sure to book a room in the Maternity clinic for Shepard’s appointments. This way she would have access to all of the equipment that they would need as well as have a more specialised doctor nearby should she ever need a consult during Jane’s pregnancy.

Kaidan and Shepard both stood up to greet her at reception. “Ah, you two are early. I was hoping to get here before you to set up the room, and check the equipment. I guess I should have expected it really. Military to the core.”

“I hope we haven’t made things harder on you.”

“Oh, not at all. It’s quite nice to see you both again. It’ll give us a bit more of a chance to catch up anyway.” She turned her attention to reception. “I’m Dr. Chakwas, I booked a room for a private appointment for these two.”

“Yes, of course. The room is ready for you. Just follow me.”

They all followed the nurse to the room, and Chakwas thanked her before closing the door for privacy. She started going over the tools and making sure everything was in working order. It was all the same equipment that they had used in the emergency department of Huerta, so she had become well accustomed to it by now.

“So how have you been feeling, Jane? Is the morning sickness any better?”

“The meds you managed to get me have helped, but it’s still there. It’s getting better though.”

“Okay, that’s good to hear. We really don’t like giving out anything stronger than that unless it’s bad enough that you can’t keep anything down.”

“Ha, well that certainly hasn’t been a problem lately,” Kaidan managed to pipe up. “Her plates are starting to look awfully close to mine when we eat.”

“Hmm,” was all the doctor was willing to offer at the moment. “Let’s get your weight, shall we.”

Jane followed the doctor’s orders almost worried at the way she had been treating the information. She had always thought it was normal to eat a lot when you’re pregnant. For her, she didn’t even think about it much, and just followed her appetite whenever she was capable of stomaching anything.

“Good. That’s within normal range.”

“Is there something wrong?" Jane asked.

“No, not exactly. I know everyone likes to tell pregnant women that they’re eating for two now, but that’s simply not accurate. Usually an extra 200 calories is all that’s needed for the first two trimesters. Though with your activity level and your physical therapy, you might need an extra 400, but it sounds like you’ve likely been surpassing that even.”

“Probably,” Shepard said. “But my weight gain is normal?”

“Yes. Completely. Why don’t you come have a seat on the table here, and I’ll do some measurements to corroborate that.”

She laid down on the table, and Dr. Chakwas lifted her shirt.

“Ah, I see you’ve started to pop ever so slightly.”

“What?” Shepard asked as she looked down. She hadn’t noticed anything yet, but then again, she hadn’t really been checking closely either. “Seriously? I can’t tell from this angle,” she said looking over to Kaidan now.

“I’ve been starting to notice,” Kaidan said, confirming her fear.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I guess I just figured you would have expected as much, or you could see for yourself. It’s beautiful, Shepard. You shouldn’t have to worry about it.”

“Well thanks for that, but that’s not what I was worried about. I didn’t exactly want this information to get out yet.”

That’s when Karin cut in. “I wouldn’t be too worried about that. It’s not really obvious in the least. I can only tell because you’ve been my patient for years now. I probably know your body better than you do in a lot of ways, and because I know what’s going on in there right now, I can see it. You’ll still probably have at least another month if not more before you really start showing. Is that something that you’re really worried about?”

“Worried probably wasn’t the right word. It’s not something we’ll be able to prevent forever, I just don’t want it to go public sooner than it has to. The more people that can see it, the more the rumors will start spreading. I mean, we already got recognized in the waiting room. At least that was just Jacob and Brynn, though.”

“Ah, I hadn’t heard that Jacob was going to be a father. Good for him. As for your fear, I can see your point, though I think you still have time before you really have to worry about it. Unless more people see you in the waiting room that is,” she said as she started feeling around Jane’s abdomen. She measured from the top of her uterus, down to her pubic bone with a small, soft measuring tape. “You’re measuring right on track for when we think you conceived too. That’s terrific.”

“But you still seem to think my appetite is unusual.”

“Well, yes, but honestly it shouldn’t have been that unexpected I guess. There has been a lot of studies to suggest that biotics is likely a trait able to be passed down. For your generation, it was an acquired trait through early eezo exposure, not genetic, but they have recently found that the exposure is so intense while a fetus is still in development that it changes DNA. I have reason to believe that Kaidan may have passed down the biotic trait.”

“Wow,” Kaidan said. Shepard was upset that she saw a look of guilt wash over him. She knew that he hadn’t had an easy upbringing, entirely thanks to being a biotic himself. Things had admittedly been a lot better as the years went on, but a lot of people were still scared of biotics, and he would get weird looks every now and then. Jane knew that Kaidan was upset that he may have caused that for his child’s future.

“Kaidan,” she said to get his attention, and then grabbed his hand. “This isn’t something to be ashamed of.”

“No. I know,” he said, still looking a little dejected. “I just hate the thought that I may have inadvertently made our child’s future more difficult than it has to be.”

“Except that our child will have an amazing dad to teach them all about it. They won’t go through the same things you did.”

“You’re right. When you put it like that, it doesn’t sound so bad.”

“You have to keep in mind that this is still just a theory,” Karin cut in. “We won’t be able to confirm that until closer to half way through your pregnancy. Eezo nodules take time to show up on scans. But I tend to agree with the Admiral, Kaidan. People will be cruel for any number of reasons. There’s no way to shelter your child from that completely. It’s your job to be there for them when something does happen. If your child does happen to be a biotic, it will have one of the best role models I’ve ever seen teaching them all about it.”

“Thanks, Chakwas. I really appreciate that. And you have a good point,” Kaidan conceded.

She nodded in acknowledgement. “Well then, would you two like to see your child?”

“Really? We get to do that already?” Jane asked.

“Why not? There’s no harm in it, and the equipment’s all here. That way I can get an accurate measurement, which will give you a more accurate due date,” she said as she got the equipment ready.

If they had wanted a still scan, Chakwas could have just used her omni-tool, but since they wanted a live display, she would need to use the good old trusty ultrasound machine. She tucked a towel into the top of Jane’s pants, and pulled them down slightly, so she would be able to get the probe in the right place.

“Sorry. This part is never pleasant,” she said as she squirted some jelly on Jane’s abdomen. “Though, at least we have these warmers for it now. They used to just squirt it on cold, and you used to require a full bladder to be able to see anything clearly. Thank goodness for technological advancements.”

Jane just hummed in acknowledgement, too focused on the screen, waiting for proof of what was growing inside of her to make itself known beyond that of a few missed periods and a positive blood test, to even care much about what Chakwas had said.

As the black and white image had come to life, Shepard was in awe. She expected to have to struggle to figure out what exactly it was that she was looking at, but instead she was greeted with the image of something unmistakably human looking, though perhaps a little more peanut shaped still.

The first thing that Karin did was look for a heartbeat. As soon as she found it, she pointed it out to the parents-to-be. She could see plain as day the valves opening and closing, performing entirely how it was supposed to. That’s when Chakwas turned the sound on. The room was filled with a fast whooshing noise, and Jane could feel Kaidan’s grip on her hand tighten. The beat was faster than she ever would have expected. Certainly much faster than her own.

“146 beats per minute,” Karin stated, mostly for her own records.

“Wow. Is that normal?” Jane asked.

“Yes. It’s quite healthy in fact. Very strong. Everything looks fantastic,” she said, taking a measurement on the terminal. “You’re measuring at 11 weeks and 2 days. That confirms everything we’ve already checked. You’ve got a healthy little one in there.”

Jane and Kaidan couldn’t take their eyes off of the screen, watching everything that Karin was showing them. Kaidan couldn’t help but notice that it was moving around a lot, and rhythmically at that. Luckily it seemed like Karin must have been reading his mind, because that’s when she spoke up addressing his silent fears.

“Do you see how it’s moving like that?” she asked pointing with her fingers, moving it along with the rhythm.”

“Yes,” they both answered in unison.

“It has the hiccups.”

“What? Is that even possible?” Jane asked.

“Oh yes. Common even. I’ve been told that it feels quite bizarre as the baby gets bigger. It’s quite fascinating to watch though, isn’t it.”

“It is. I can hardly believe that’s going on inside of me right now, and I would have had no idea.”

“The human body can be quite amazing sometimes,” Karin said, smiling at the pair.

They both just stared at the screen for another moment as Dr. Chakwas finished taking measurements and checking everything. She pointed out all of the features that were obvious, like the spine and the arms and the legs. The whole experience was surreal. Jane was suddenly glad that Ada and her mom had decided to stay an extra week, allowing her to show off the scans as soon as she was done with work.

By this point, Jane had the chance to get used to the idea that she was pregnant for a month, but that’s when she realised that it hadn’t exactly sunken in yet. Their child was alive and well, and growing. Seeing it for herself gave her a whole new perspective. Mostly she was just glad to finally have the confirmation that everything was okay, but now was probably the first time that she was really truly excited. Their lives were going to change soon, and she couldn’t wait.


	29. Cordially Invited

Kaidan and Jane had been on the Citadel for nearly two months now. two weeks reserved for turning their apartment into a home and visiting with their mothers one last time before everyone had to go back to work, and six weeks to settle in to their new jobs.

Hannah and Ada had technically had 2 weeks of shore leave when they came for their visit. Originally they were only going to spend the first week with their children on the Citadel, because that’s when everyone’s schedules had coincided. After Kaidan and Jane had revealed their big news, they decided to take the entire shore leave to be with them, even though Kaidan and Jane would be busy at work. It allowed them extra time to gush about their new impending family member, and help prepare healthy dinners after their kids would be at work for long hours adjusting to their new schedules.

Hackett had come for a visit at the end of Jane’s first week on the job to see how she was taking to it, as well as to see how well the Citadel HQ was being setup. Jane was certain part of his motivation for visiting was to see her mother again. They had invited Hackett to come over for dinner that night, partly as thanks for his patience with her while she was taking time to decide if she had wanted the job or not, but also partially to try to get to know him a bit better on a personal level for her mother’s sake. Jane was happy to see her mother openly enjoying her time with him, instead of trying to hide it. That was quite the change in and of itself. Something about ending this war had relaxed her, and Jane found that she rather liked this new side to her.

Jane had been planning to announce her pregnancy to Admiral Hackett sometime that evening, but as they were sitting down to dinner, he practically made the announcement for them. After he had seen the amount of food that Jane had put on her plate, With a bark of laughter, he had asked “Jesus, Jane, where the hell do you put it all?”, at which point that offered him nothing but a few awkward stares from everyone at the table, not knowing what to say.

That’s when Jane finally said, “Well, the baby must be taking most of it, because I certainly never seem to have any energy these days,” she said, deadpanned, to which Steven just stared at her blankly. It wasn’t until after he had glanced around the table to notice that she was the only one without a glass of wine with her meal that he finally realised that she was serious.

Jane had originally planned on bringing it up in more of a professional manner, to discuss how it might affect her job in the later stages, but he had offered such a perfect opportunity, that it would have been a shame to waste on not shocking the hell out of him.

It had made him become more serious in the moment than she thought he would have been. He was happy, but surprised. That’s when he offered a toast, “To bright futures, well earned,” and a congratulations to the parents and grandparents-to-be, at which point he rather sweetly stated that Hannah was far too young to be a grandmother. He quickly amended his statement to include Ada as well. Of course it was more important to show Hannah that kind of sentiment, but he wasn’t about to offend anyone else in the room on purpose, especially with Ada technically being family with the woman he was trying to woo.

Hackett was now officially the 8th person of significance to know about Jane’s pregnancy. After their first doctor’s appointment, they had agreed to finally start telling their friends, but the endeavor had proven to be more difficult than they had planned. They didn’t want to tell their friends through email if they could help it, but short of using the QEC, that was the only form of live communication that reached long range. For now they had decided to wait and see if the communications would improve, or if any of their friends had planned a visit anytime in the near future before opting to use text messages to make their announcement.

Kaidan was settling in easily enough to his position. It was a position that he had some experience with after all, even though he technically hadn’t been working for the Council for very long during the war. They had been happy with his service at the time, which is why they asked him back to lead their security force. He would sometimes be a part of their security detail, but most of the time he would be more responsible for logistics. Making hires, and shifts, and doing training. Something that he and Shepard both preferred at the moment.

Since the Citadel wasn’t technically open to the public yet, his position didn’t have as high of a demand at the moment. So in the meantime, he had other spectre duties to attend to. Mostly going through reports, and granting different permissions. It was usually for building rights these days.

Shepard had also had her own talk with the council. She had left out the news of her pregnancy so far, but rather to inform them of her being taken off of active duty indefinitely, and what that meant in terms of her Spectre status. They had granted her continued access should she want to keep it, but her job as such would only pertain to the more menial tasks like what was mostly keeping Kaidan busy at the moment. At any rate, that wouldn’t be Jane’s main job here anyway, but it could potentially make things easier for her in the future.

Shepard had a bit more of an awkward transition period into becoming an Admiral. She was used to having to berate her higher ups in order for her to be able to do her job. Now she  _ was _ the higher up. She wasn’t used to not having to ask for permission to do everything. It was almost a bit freeing, but she realised it would require a bit of an adjustment period. On more than one occasion she had caught herself trying to contact Hackett for permission for something, before realising that was  _ her _ job now.

She had made a few things be her first priority as soon as she took over the position. Jane didn’t want to leave anything to be a risk as they had before with the reapers. She made sure to start an investigation into the Leviathans as soon as it was possible, getting Ann Bryson to lead the charge. They may have agreed to help in their own way right before the end of the war, but the fact remained that no one really knew anything about them still, and they hadn’t particularly seemed to care about any other life form at the time, already placing their own importance above all else. At the very least, they would be something that would require constant observation to ensure that they wouldn’t be a threat. It would be easier said than done thanks to their own indoctrination abilities.

She also made sure to send out status updates to the Andromeda Initiative. She knew they would have received the S.O.S. signals being sent out about the reaper invasion as they were leaving the galaxy. Jane and the rest of the admiralty board didn’t want them to be left in the dark about what was going on here. Even if they wouldn’t be coming back to the Milky Way, she didn’t want them to think that all civilization here had perished. The only problem, is that her message would still be showing up almost two years after their arrival, as the message would only be able to travel at the same speed as their own ships had. It would still be better late than never, though.

Of course there had been a lot needing to be addressed and those were only among the first. Of course the rebuilding efforts was at the forefront as well. Something for which Jane had become largely responsible for, trying to coordinate the Alliances resources as best she could.

Her position itself may take a bit of time to adjust to, but she certainly became accustomed to her office rather quickly. She was rather fond of this perk of having a space that was private and her own. Sure she had that in her quarters on the  _ Normandy _ , but this was different and somehow she felt more accomplished. It was spacious, and had her own bathroom. Something for which she was extremely thankful on a few occasions already, preferring privacy while she was vacating her her stomach rather unceremoniously. Not to mention the more frequent trips just to keep her bladder happy made it much more convenient. 

Her office also came with a couch, which she had already put to good use more often than she would like to admit with how tired she’d been lately. She always squared away some ‘do not disturb’ time in her daily schedule to make sure no one would walk in on her getting some extra rest. She was just glad that she was an Admiral now so she could get away with it. It did leave some extra work needing to be done, but those were usually reports that she could take home at the end of the day.

She may not have been showing much at 11 weeks pregnant, but in the 6 weeks since then, she had slowly been starting to notice that she wouldn’t be able to hide it much longer. She was thankful that her admiral’s uniform was somewhat boxy, which would help hide it for a while still, though she had already had to start relying on that trick using a hair tie between the button and zipper of her pants just to be able to keep them remotely closed. She was thankful that her Jacket was long, keeping her fly covered, otherwise that would likely have resulted in quite a few awkward conversations by now. She had already requisitioned a few maternity uniforms, but she wanted to put off using them for as long as she possibly could.

As she entered her second trimester, she rather embarrassingly was met with newfound ramifications of her hormones. She had realised that she would have to put a stop to letting Kaidan join her for lunch, because just staring at the man across from her food had made the ache between her legs become too intense to deny until that evening. She knew she wouldn’t be able to focus on another minute of her work that day if they hadn’t managed to christen her office on top of her new desk. It had been fun and exhilarating, and she didn’t want to develop a taste for it.

In reality, she had already been guilty of calling him in for ‘lunch’ a few other times when the urge was too intense without him even being there to spur her on. Somehow the contemplation of her relieving herself at work was far less professional than calling her husband in to do it for her, not to mention less fun.

Jane had gotten a call on her omni-tool a few days prior to now. That was usually reserved for Kaidan or her work, thanks to that method of communication not having far range. She was surprised to see that it was Jacob calling to let Jane know that Brynn had gone into labour. She had been nearly a week overdue, and apparently very ready for it to happen. Jane was excited for her friends, and wished them luck.

Brynn and Jane had met up together once after they found each other in the maternity clinic waiting room. They were both so busy that it was hard to coordinate their schedules, but it had been nice to catch up with her and to have someone to talk to about her pregnancy.

Today was finally the day that Brynn and Jacob would be returning home from the hospital. Kaidan and Jane had offered to cook them a nice meal, and maybe a few others to freeze so they wouldn’t have to worry about it for at least a week.

Luckily Jacob and Brynn were coming home on a weekend, which allowed Kaidan and Jane the whole day to cook meals for them. They had decided to drop in just before dinner time, allowing the new parents to settle in and have some time alone with the baby before having to worry about entertaining guests. At least they didn’t feel too bad knowing that they would be helpful guests, coming with two boxes worth of prepared food.

Kaidan and Jane had made sure to eat before they left, so that way they could help watch the baby while Jacob and Brynn had a chance to eat. As the new parents answered the door, they looked a little more haggard than they had during their previous visit, but also exuding complete and utter bliss as they looked at their daughter.

Kaidan and Jane had quickly made themselves at home, setting the table for their hosts, and making room in their fridge and freezer for the rest of the food. Brynn and Jacob were extremely thankful, as they sat down to eat. Brynn was especially thankful. She was famished. Their doctors had found eezo nodules on the baby during one of her checkups, Jacob having passed down his biotics. Not only did it seem to be a genetic trait now, but it also seemed to be dominant too, which meant it would be easy to pass down. Soon enough it would be more common for humans to have biotics than not. But Brynn had mentioned that as hard as it was to eat enough during her pregnancy, it was just as hard to maintain now trying to have enough milk to feed her daughter. Jane was glad that they had decided to make as much food as they did after she heard that.

Kaidan was the first to hold the baby. Brynn had handed her off after a feeding to make sure she wouldn’t be crying the whole time, demanding her mother. The baby was drowsy, and Kaidan took to her with ease, instinct knowing exactly what to do as he rocked back and forth with the her safely tucked in his arms. Jane couldn’t help but notice how tiny she was. The size contrast between Kaidan and the bundle in his arms was the depiction of comfort and protection. It looked good on him, and she couldn’t wait for that to be their child in his arms.

After Kaidan rocked the baby to sleep, he offered to pass her off to Shepard. She had quickly realised that she hadn’t ever held a baby. Not really at least. She had a few times when friends of her parents had come over when she was younger, but then she had been forced to sit on the couch with a pillow on her lap to make sure the baby had been safe. Not to mention those had never been newborns. She had never had to hold something so small and fragile before. She wanted to hold the baby, but she was surprised to find that she was nervous.

She had always heard of people wanting to pass off their babies to famous people to hold. She figured that may be true when your fame didn’t come with the added knowledge of her proficiency as a killer.

Jane gently took the baby the way that Kaidan had showed her, supporting her neck and head, and placed her against her shoulder as delicately as possible to make sure she didn’t wake her. The tiny weight felt amazing. It was hard to believe that this little person contained everything she needed to become a fully functioning adult with nothing more than time and nutrients and love.

As Brynn and Jacob finished their dinner, they walked over from the adjoined kitchen.

“It looks good on you, Jane,” Brynn said.

“It looks pretty good on you too, you know,” Jane said, with an appreciative smile. “So… do I even want to know what her name is?”

“Oh, here we go,” Jacob said.

“We haven’t agreed on anything yet. I’ve still been pushing for Jane at least, but Jacob refuses.”

Jane just stood there silently not wanting to give them her take on it. She wouldn’t intrude on their choices of naming their baby, even if she didn’t care for the idea of them naming it after her.

“What’s your middle name?” Brynn finally asked, curiously.

“Elizabeth,” Jane said, practically coming out in more of a question, as she tentatively offered the information.

Brynn hummed in thought for a moment. Jane admittedly was more okay with the idea of them using her middle name if that’s what they wanted, but again, she wasn’t about to offer her opinion.

That’s when all of their omni-tools went off at the same time. Jane had been too nervous to check hers while she was still holding the baby, so she walked over to Kaidan’s. It was extremely disconcerting that everyone in the room had received a message at the same time, and that was the most amount of worry that she had felt since she had woken up from the war only to find that Kaidan was MIA.

“What is it?” Jane said, managing to keep her voice calm, despite her inner panic.

Kaidan just turned to her with a huge grin on his face. That was at least reassuring.

“See for yourself,” he said, as he offered her his omni-tool display.

It was an invitation to Garrus and Tali’s wedding. Jane just smiled at that. She figured that it was bound to happen. She was ecstatic for them, that is, until she saw that it was in 4 weeks. That didn’t offer them a lot of time to prepare and figure out a way to get there, and what to do about their jobs.

Then, not even two minutes after receiving the invitation, did all of their omni-tools go off again. This one being an invitation from Liara offering the Normandy as transport for anyone from the old  _ Normandy _ crews within range of Earth to depart in a week.

Well that was easy. It’s almost as if Liara had known about this earlier. It even offered a solution to Jane’s problem of wanting to announce her pregnancy in a more personal way than a text message. Being able to do it in person would just be icing on the cake. Luckily if they were leaving in a week that would leave plenty time to get Jane’s news out of the way without stealing Garrus and Tali’s thunder on their special day, allowing for a lot of time to visit before the wedding.

They would figure something out about the jobs. For both of them, it was mostly desk work anyway. She was sure they’d be able to take the brunt of it with them. She wasn’t about to pass up this opportunity. Not when it might be the last chance for her to travel easily for a while too, not to mention for something so special.

Jane couldn’t wait to see all of her friends again. By the time they would be seeing each other it really would have only ended up being a few months apart, but any excuse to see them was a good one, and she couldn’t help but be particularly thankful for their timing right now.


	30. To Palaven

As soon as Liara had received the invitation to Garrus and Tali’s wedding, she immediately offered the  _ Normandy _ up for transport to any of the old crew within the sol system. She had admittedly been expecting it, and had the message ready to send whenever Tali and Garrus officially decided to send everything out. She was eager for the chance to have everyone on board the  _ Normandy _ again just like the old days, especially as this time they could simply enjoy each other’s company. Their time together wouldn’t be impeded by a galaxy woefully unprepared to protect itself against some insane threat that required their immediate attention.

Liara knew all too well that even though the last 10 weeks had felt like an extremely long time to be apart, that this was only a small sign of things to come. Everyone was moving on with their lives, and rightly so, but it meant that they wouldn’t have the chance to be together all at once like this for a very long time. She decided to count her blessings knowing that she at least was one of the lucky ones, having full access to the  _ Normandy  _ was a sure way that she knew she’d never be too far away from any of them should she want her own mini reunions of her own.

She was extremely happy to know that Jane and Kaidan would be the first to arrive. Jane was her closest friend, and Liara had missed her dearly. They had managed to stay in contact mostly through text messages, thanks to the comm buoys still creating more problems than she had cared for.

They had managed to talk on the QEC a couple of times since Shepard had access to one at Alliance Command on the Citadel, but she wasn’t technically supposed to use it for leisure purposes. Of course neither of them had cared at the time and Jane was easily able to get away with it being that she was technically communicating with another military vessel.

Liara had been straightening up Shepard’s old quarters to be prepared to house Jane and Kaidan as she mused to herself that she was glad to have made it a priority to personally fund her own team to get all of the comm tech up and running again. The war had been over for the better part of a year at this point, and that was far too long for barely any progress to have been made on that front. It was imperative to her business after all, and it would be a worthwhile investment in the long run.

She was in the middle of making their bed as she heard the door open to the loft. She bolted her head up to see Jane and Kaidan enter. She quickly dropped the blankets and ran over to give Jane a hug.

“Oh, Jane. It’s so good to see you!”

Jane almost giggled slightly, before replying, “You too,” as she returned Liara’s embrace tightly. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

They just stood there for a moment, savoring each others contact before Kaidan cleared his throat. “What? No love for me?”

Liara giggled. “Sorry, Kaidan. I missed you too.”

“I know. I’m just teasing you. Shepard hasn’t been able to stop talking about seeing you again for the last day and a half, so I’m glad you’ve finally gotten to see each other again. But you’re my friend too, you know.”

“Yes, of course,” she said as she made sure to give Kaidan a genuine hug as well.

They both noticed Shepard looking around the room, seemingly lost in nostalgia. The loft had changed quite a bit since they had left. Of course she had taken her model ship collection with her, as well as whatever fish had survived. The once empty display cases now contained old relics that Liara had found in her earlier days as an archaeologist. Jane couldn’t help but laugh as she noticed the elcor mating totem. She wasn’t exactly surprised to find it among the other relics, but she hadn’t been expecting it either. The fish tank had also been changed into a larger display case for some of the bigger prothean artifacts that wouldn’t have fit in the other one, though this display case was adorned in blue light.

“What? Not a fan of fish?” Shepard said, breaking the silence, looking back towards Liara.

“No. I loved your fish. I simply don’t have the time or resources at the moment to properly maintain sealife. I still liked the ambiance that it created though, so I tried to put in some lighting to replicate it. I’m not quite sure if it works though.”

“I like it. The whole loft has a very ‘Liara’ touch to it now. But you know you didn’t have to be giving us special treatment right? You didn’t have to give up your quarters just for us.”

“Oh, I’m not. I actually decided to stay in my old quarters. It just seemed to work better with all of my equipment needs. It was also more efficient for me to keep my living quarters there, with how late I’ve been known to work, though I have made one small adjustment of adding my own private bathroom. Luckily It wasn’t all that difficult with the kitchen being on the other side, meaning the plumbing hookups were all there already. I just had to steal some empty space from the thanix cannons.”

“That was a good idea.”

“I thought so. I’ve made quite a few changes to the ship, actually. I’ve changed the observation lounge into two smaller private rooms, as well as the old storage room. Since we’re running mostly as a peacekeeping ship these days, we’ll likely be transporting a lot of officials or ambassadors, so I’ve tried to make it more homey for when we have special guests. And I’ve actually put plants into life support like it was supposed to have, which has made it quite the pleasant little reading nook.”

“Wow. Sounds like you’ve made this place into quite the little home.”

“Well it kind of is my home now. But anyway, me keeping my old quarters, allows the loft to be available for any Executive Officers I choose to take on. Or for cases like this, allowing you to have your old quarters back.”

“That was very thoughtful of you, Liara. I’ll have to go check out how everything’s changed later.”

“Yes, of course. Anyway, enough about the ship, Shepard. It has been far too long since I’ve seen you in person, and I need updates. Exactly how long are human pregnancies supposed to be? You’re not even showing yet. Admittedly, biology was never my strong suit, but I thought they were supposed to be similar to Asari pregnancies.”

“From my understanding they are, yes, though I believe yours are a little longer.” She took this opportunity to unzip her baggy N7 hoodie that she was known to wear on occasion, to show off what was actually becoming quite the obvious baby bump under the right circumstances. Namely, not being purposefully hidden under baggy N7 hoodies because  _ they _ wanted to be the ones to announce Jane’s pregnancy, and not her obvious bump. It was still small enough to be easily hidden, but big enough to not mistake it for just being bloated or having eaten too much.

Liara audibly gasped. “Oh my. How far along are you again?” she asked before walking over to feel the growing swell.

If the forwardness to touch her without permission had come from anyone else, Shepard likely would have been tempted to snap their arm in half. The one good thing that came with her fame was that everyone knew her, and what she was capable of, so she wasn’t afraid of having to test that theory in the coming months, but this was her best friend, and the closest thing she had ever felt to having a real sister, so it was entirely welcome.

“18 weeks now. That’s almost half way.”

“You certainly manage to hide it well.”

Kaidan couldn’t help but smile at their interaction. He had been nothing short of beaming since their doctor’s appointment where they had inadvertently gotten to share their news with Jacob and Brynn, and he was ecstatic, finally being able to do so with the rest of his friends. Even though he knew Liara was aware of the pregnancy before, he had missed her initial reaction, and getting to see her surprise at the fact that there was now determinable evidence of such, brought him a sense of pure euphoria.

As Liara was admiring Jane’s newfound features, Kaidan and Shepard shared an affectionate gaze at the mutual knowledge that this tiny, vulnerable person that they had created together was already so loved by everyone that knew about it.

Jane finally huffed out a laugh, before continuing. “Well that’s good. We haven’t been able to announce it to anyone else yet, so we have to hide it for just a little bit longer.”

Liara finally relinquished her hand from Jane’s abdomen, so she could maintain eye contact like normal civilized people having a conversation. “Honestly, I’m surprised you’ve been able to keep it under wraps this long. I would have thought reporters would have been all over you just for being you.”

“I think we’ve just been lucky, honestly. The Citadel is still relatively empty, aside from official personnel at the moment. That and the fact that I mainly stick between our apartment and Alliance HQ, is probably the only reason it hasn’t gotten out yet. I think that everyone at work just thinks I’m getting fat because I don’t know how to handle a desk job. So I guess that helps too.”

Liara scoffed. “Shepard. You are hardly fat. This is beautiful.”

Jane laughed. “Well I know that. Seriously though, this is a good thing. I don’t mind it being a secret for as long as possible. It’ll be plenty obvious soon enough.”

“Well in that case, good. How have you been feeling?

“I’m not going to lie, it hasn’t exactly all been sunshine and roses. I’ve never been so emotional, or tired in my life. At least the morning sickness has passed for the most part though.”

“Well that’s something, at least. Have you felt it move yet?”

“I’ve felt a few flutters, but nothing substantial. Chakwas said I should be able to start feeling it any time within the next month or so. You’re very curious,” Jane said with a smile.

“You are the first of my friends to have a baby, Shepard. Or anyone that I’ve ever been close to for that matter. I’m excited for you.”

“Are you sure you’re not just getting baby fever?”

“Is that a disease? I’ve never heard of it before. If it’s something contagious caused by your pregnancy, I highly doubt it would cross species.”

Kaidan and Jane both laughed for a moment before Kaidan replied. “No, Liara. It’s a human saying for when you have a sudden urge to have children. Usually thanks to being around a lot of babies or talking about it a lot I guess.”

“Ah, I see. The idea has admittedly crossed my mind with more of a fondness as of late, but I don’t think I will be partaking in that particular endeavor for quite some time still. Believe me when I say that I cannot wait to meet your little one, though. In fact, I may already be well on my way to spoiling the poor thing.”

“Oh boy,” Kaidan replied as Shepard chuckled.

“Does that mean you’ll be willing to come help with dirty diapers and the like after it’s born?”

“As long as it means I get plenty of cuddle time, I don’t mind helping in whatever way you may need me.”

“Good to know,” Shepard said with a grin. “So anyway, who exactly are we waiting for and picking up?”

“Well, Karin should have been right behind you. I would imagine she’s already overtaken the medical bay, and is quite possibly fighting over it with Dr. Michel as we speak -”

“Wait, Dr. Michel? Was she invited to the wedding?”

“Yes, but I had also hired her on as our doctor, so she would likely have been staying regardless.”

A simple, “hmm,” was all Shepard offered at that.

“What?” Kaidan asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing… just that I’m pretty sure she’s been in love with Garrus ever since we saved her on the Citadel back in ‘83.”

“Yes, I may have some confirming evidence on that matter. I also remember Tali being very upset, hearing about the dextro chocolate that she had given Garrus during the war. From what I’ve talked to her of the matter, she seems to be happy for them now though. I think she’s finally beginning to move on.”

“Good. She was hung up on him for far too long. Chloe’s a good person, and doesn’t need to be lingering on something so one sided like that. She was a good choice for your doctor too, might I add.”

Kaidan and Liara shared a knowing smile, before Liara responded. “Well of course. She was largely responsible for saving your life after all. Why do you think I chose her? After you stole Chakwas away from me, she was clearly the best choice.”

“I guess I can’t argue with that,” Jane said, as Kaidan just nodded an affirmative to the sentiment.

“But anyway, as you know, Samantha, Joker and Adams all decided to stay on board. I even managed to track down one Rupert Gardner. Tali and Garrus both spoke highly of him when I put out feelers for maintenance crew hires, though I had my doubts about him in the beginning. He was a heavy Cerberus sympathiser throughout the war. No doubt, why he hadn’t joined us after your Collector days.”

“After he had seen how far the Illusive man took things at the end, he had finally realised that he had been listening to a mad man. My first interaction with him, he seemed to be nothing short of embarrassed by the whole situation. Though that was convincing in itself, obviously I was still thorough in my background check on him. I found nothing that led me to believe that he could be lying. He honestly seemed like he needed to find a new purpose. He doesn’t have anyone else, as I’m sure you remember, and I think he was hoping to find something akin to his time serving under you.”

“That’s right. He lost his whole family to Batarian slavers,” Shepard said remorsefully. “Despite his enthusiasm for Cerberus, he was a good man. He just wanted to make a difference. You already know that I have a soft spot in my heart for defectors. It’ll be good to see him again.”

“Yes. I have quite enjoyed our talks the past few weeks. He’s talented in the kitchen given the right ingredients. His Asari Gumbo is quite authentic.”

“You already know that Jacob and Brynn had to reject the invitation thanks to their little bundle of joy,” Liara continued. “I think they mentioned that they didn’t want to travel that far with the relays being out with a newborn.”

“No one’s heard from Samara, but I have it under good authority that is likely only due to her journey returning to Lesuss to be with Falere. I doubt she has even received the invitation yet, and with how far away she undoubtedly is at this point, I wouldn’t have expected her to be able to make it back in time even if she had wanted to.”

“Grunt, Wrex, Eve, and Diana will already be on Palaven by the time we get there, so that means we’re still waiting on Miranda, Kasumi, Steve, Zaeed, Gabby, Ken, Jack and James,” Liara continued. “Goddess I can’t wait for James’ N7 training to be done. I plan on making him my permanent XO if he wants the position. It would be nice having someone I trust, and don’t need to beat around the bush with.”

“I can imagine that’s been difficult for you.”

“Yes, quite. They always wonder why I lock them out of my quarters. But anyway, tell me, how do you plan on making your little announcement?”

Shepard smiled. “We’re actually planning on having a little fun with it at first,” she said as she moved over to one of their bags. “It’s a weird human tradition to put pictures of your scan on the fridge, so we’re going to go hang this on the fridge in the mess and see how many people notice it or question it,” she said, handing the black and white printout to Liara.

“Goddess, how did you manage to get a physical print?” she asked, admiring the photo.

“Chakwas did it for us. They’re not exactly common these days, but her equipment has that functionality for certain circumstances. Namely, wanting to keep this off any official records for now, so she just included it in her physical copies instead of keeping it digitally, and made an extra one for us.”

“That was smart. No wonder I haven’t seen this yet,” Liara said teasingly, as Shepard rolled her eyes. “She’s beautiful, Shepard. I can already see your nose.”

“She? Placing your bets already are you?”

Liara let out a laugh. “Not exactly. It just doesn’t feel right to keep calling her an ‘it’ after seeing this. The majority of Asari choose feminine pronouns, so it just comes more naturally. Though a daughter for the two of you seems to be fitting. I wouldn’t be surprised if my initial inclination turns out to be right. Do you know yet?”

“No. We’ve decided to keep it a surprise, half because ‘she-’” Jane said, while using air quotes, “-wasn’t willing to show off the goods during this scan. There are other ways to find out. I could have gotten a blood test, or even in a few weeks a simple omni-tool scan could probably tell us, but after it wasn’t that simple we just decided that it might be a nice surprise in the end anyway. Healthy is really all we care about.”

“Yes, of course. And everything is going well on that end?”

“Thankfully, yes. Chakwas thinks with how tired I’ve been and how much I’ve been eating, it’s likely to have biotic potential, but luckily so far there doesn’t seem to be any complications associated with that, which are still somewhat common in biotic humans.”

“That’s good. Hopefully that remains to be the case.”

“Karin said we should know for sure soon, but with how clear things looked at my last appointment, she doesn’t expect anything to go wrong at this point. But anyway, we should really choose a good lookout point in the mess soon, before people start flooding in. We have this picture of Jacob and Brynn’s daughter to add to it after. It’ll be a nice little display of Normandy babies.”

“Well that sounds like you have quite a fun afternoon planned. I look forward to watching through the security footage later,” Liara said with a big grin. “I’ll let you two get settled, and enjoy your evil plan,” she said as they all laughed while Liara left them to their own devices.

Kaidan and Jane quickly made their way down to the mess hall. Rupert was already working hard on whatever it was he was planning to serve for dinner. As he heard footsteps approaching him, he looked up to see Jane headed his way. He knew she would be here, but he still couldn’t help the large grin adorning his face, just being able to see for himself that she had made it.

“Commander! It’s so good to see you! Wait, it’s Admiral now isn’t it? Sorry, old habits and all that. It’s hard to teach this old dog new tricks.”

“That’s quite alright, Rupert. It’s nice to see you back on the  _ Normandy _ . I just heard that Liara managed to secure your talents. But this is a leisure trip, so you don’t have to refer to my rank, and even if it weren’t, I’m technically not in command at the moment. Feel free to call me Jane. Or Shepard if you prefer. At this point, I’m almost surprised my own mother hasn’t started calling me Shepard.”

“Can do, Shepard. Say, would you like to try out my newest recipe for old times sake?”

This is when Kaidan finally decided to cut in by saying, “She actually has to be careful about what she eats right now. Not to insult your cooking or anything,” he quickly amended.

Shepard let out a huff along with a small eye roll. “Rupert, I don’t believe you’ve met my guard dog - oops - I mean, husband. Rupert, this is Kaidan, Kaidan this is Rupert.”

Rupert just looked confused for a moment. “You hardly look like you need to be on a diet, Shepard.”

Jane laughed, and was thankful that her added weight was still being well hidden by her hoodie, and that Liara wasn’t just being kind to her earlier. “That’s not what he meant,” she said handing her sonogram over to Rupert, as she remembered with disdain Dr. Chakwas coming to her with a list of the foods that were now quite literally and figuratively off the table for her for the time being, right after they had found out she was pregnant.

As Rupert looked down at the Sonogram, he gasped. “Wow. Comm- Agh, I mean, Adm-.” He was clearly flustered, so took a breath before looking back up at her, with a genuinely happy smile. “That’s terrific news, Jane. I’m so happy for you. You too. Kaidan was it?” he asked, as he went to shake Kaidan’s hand, while Kaidan nodded to the affirmative. “That’s quite a way to meet you. You’ll love being a father. It’ll likely be the best thing you’ll ever do. Don’t take it for granted,” he said as he looked back down at the sonogram, with a tear threatening to spill.

Kaidan and Shepard shared a sympathetic look, as Kaidan knew that Rupert must have been remembering his own family in that moment. Kaidan didn’t want to let on that he knew something so personal about this man he had only just met without Rupert sharing it himself, so he simply said, “I don’t think I’ll ever take the life of a family member for granted again.” He may not have been through anything even remotely as bad as what Rupert had gone through, but Kaidan knew what it was to lose someone. Rupert could hear the understanding in Kaidan’s voice. No one had made it through this war without loss. That was at least something everyone understood in these times.

Rupert let out a sigh, wiping the single tear from his eye, as he handed the sonogram back to Shepard. “Congratulations, you two. I may not know you, Kaidan, but if Shepard’s chosen ya, that means something. I can already tell, you’ll both make great parents.”

“Thanks,” they both said with sincerity.

Then Rupert suddenly seemed excited, almost like he had just received orders for a new mission. “Oh, hey. Can I get you anything? You’re eatin’ for two now! If this doesn’t seem appealing to you, I can make you anything you want.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Rupert, but I don’t really need special treatment. Kaidan’s just being overprotective. Although, maybe I’ll share my list of all the good foods I can’t eat anymore just to be safe,” she said with a frown, as she brought up her omni-tool to send him the list. “As for right now, if you have some hot water, I wouldn’t say no to a cup of tea.”

“Right away, ma’am,” he said taking the simple task seriously.

“You can add ma’am to the list of names you don’t need to be calling me on this trip while you’re at it,” she said as she moved over to the fridge to find some magnets to hang up her picture.

“Not a chance, ma’am. Pregnant ladies are always the boss. Kaidan, you’d be wise to remember that.”

Kaidan barked out peal of laughter. “That’s good advice, Rupert. I think you and I will get along just fine, he said as he moved to pat him on the back and Shepard scoffed in annoyance. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“You could help me chop those carrots over there,” Rupert said while he gently handed Shepard the tea. Just then, they heard the elevator coming to a stop on their floor. She silently put a finger up to her lips, and then pointing at the picture now adorning the fridge, signaling to keep quiet about their secret until everyone saw it for themselves. Quickly getting the idea, he returned her look with a wink.

It had felt good to finally start telling people, and she expected that they were about to be in for a really fun afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have gone a little overboard with crew reactions of their news taking over the next few chapters. Oh well.  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	31. The Normandy Mess Hall

After her conversation with Rupert, Shepard quickly tried to sit at a table in the mess beside one of the support beams with her tea and a book, hoping that whoever was on the elevator would just see her as someone in the background and pass right by her like people typically would do on a busy ship. Because surely if they had seen who was sitting there, they would know that something was up immediately if she didn’t go to greet them after not having seen them for so long. Hiding in plain site had been a legitimate strategy for her in the past and she was hoping now would be no different.

Kaidan opted to stay with Rupert and helped with the food as he had offered mere seconds ago. He wasn’t the one with what would have an obvious tummy in the way were he to hug any of his old crew members. This way he could be front and center for people’s reactions too.

Sam and Steve had luckily come around the corner that Shepard had decided to hide against, making her hard to see, and she could hear Samantha muttering something to Steve.

“So that was kind of strange wasn’t it? Liara was being very insistent on me bringing you on my break immediately, and oddly specific about it being in here.”

“Hey, just leave me out of it. She’s your girlfriend.”

Jane had gone from trying to stifle a laugh at Liara’s tactics to desperately trying not to choke on her tea.  _ ‘Girlfriend! What the actual fuck Liara!’ _ she thought. Had they not spent enough time together earlier for her to bestow this bit of knowledge? Was she the only one supposed to be sharing secrets? Shepard decided that now was not the time to be concerned with this, and was sure that Liara had some sort of explanation. Jane was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt… for now.

Then Steve was the first to see Kaidan at the counter. “Oh, Kaidan, you’re already here,” he said as he ran over to give his friend a hug. He and Kaidan had worked together a bit even before the war broke out so they were old friends at this point. He made sure to give Sam a hug too. “The Admiral must be around here too then, I take it.”

“Yeah, she’s around,” with only the slightest hint of mischief in his voice, hoping beyond all hope that they didn’t turn around to see that she was literally right there, watching them. To keep them occupied, he was quick to add, “How have you been? What have you been up to?”

“I’ve been busy. Mostly shuttling people between Earth, Mars, and the Citadel. Dropping off supplies, and reuniting families. It may not be the most important work in the galaxy right now, but it feels good.”

“It’s important work, Steve. Reuniting families is everything to those people. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“You’re right. I know. It’s just after watching everything that you all had to do, it feels so small in comparison.”

“Everything counts. You’re making a difference. That’s a good thing,” he said, patting his friend on the shoulder. “What about you, Sam? How’s the _ Normandy _ been treating you?”

“Oh, it’s been spectacular. I’ve managed to still be of help as a communications officer when I can, but with how low maintenance everything is around here these days, it’s offered a lot of time for me to continue my research with Quantum Entanglement, and help work on the issues with the comm buoys. I think we just had a major breakthrough on that front actually. Just need to get the hardware fixed and it should be good to go. I would almost expect for it to be done before we even reach Palaven.”

“Wow, that’s amazing.”

“Yes, well as much as I’d like to take all of the credit for it, I’d be lying if I’d said it wasn’t a team effort. I’ve been collaborating with some of the best. Aside from all that, I get to stay on this ship with my beautiful Liara, while doing what I actually wanted to do. It’s truly been the best of both worlds.”

Kaidan had also looked happily surprised at that last tidbit of information. At least Sam and Liara didn’t seem to intentionally be hiding their relationship.

Rupert could barely contain the big stupid grin on his face, as he was trying to distract himself with the dinner preparations. “Samantha, would ya kindly stop standing around chatting for a moment and grab the veggies from the top shelf of the fridge for me?”

Shepard was pleased with how happy this was making Rupert too. She could see how much he was enjoying being included in this little endeavour.

Samantha couldn’t help but find Rupert’s demeanor to be peculiar at best, so she simply replied, “Okaaay,” as she walked over to the fridge and opened it without even noticing the new decoration on the front. Luckily as her head was buried within, Steve was the first to notice.

“Hey hey hey, what’s that now? Who’s having a baby?”

Rupert and Kaidan just stayed silent trying to let them figure it out for a minute. Rupert was having a hard time containing his big grin.

Sam had finally poked her head out of the fridge now, veggies in tow, admiring the images. “Well, that wasn’t there this morning.”

Steve just hummed in thought, having a curious look on his face.

“Are you thinking that someone’s pregnant?” Samantha blurted out.

Steve just raised an eyebrow in question.

“Well don’t look at me!” Samantha replied. They both slowly moved their gaze over to Kaidan now.

“What? Don’t look at me either.”

As Kaidan was speaking those words, it was like the background had finally come into focus, as Steve and Sam both noticed Shepard sitting at the table coyly, clearly having watched the entire back-and-forth.

Sam placed the veggies down for Rupert, as she slowly pointed a finger between Kaidan and Shepard, with a questioning look on her face.

No words were shared, but the sheepish grins slowly adorning Kaidan and Jane’s faces were tell enough for Sam, as she let out a high pitched shriek, running over to Jane.

Shepard had already unzipped her hoodie when she sat down since the table would be hiding her bump for her, so as she stood when Sam got closer, Sam stopped in her tracks admiring it for a split second before shrieking again. She then ran the rest of the way over to her, enveloping her in a firm hug.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Congratulations!” she said, quickly releasing her, while bouncing around and waving her arms, spastically not knowing what to do with herself. “Wait. Did Liara know about this? Oh my god, she must have. I’m going to kill her!”

“Well maybe we can double team it. I have a few choice words for her as well. Girlfriend, Sam? When did this happen?”

“What? Oh god, I don’t know. I can’t even think right now. You’re having a baby!”

Shepard giggled, figuring she would grill Liara for all of the details later.

Steve moved towards Kaidan, shaking his hand, and congratulating him in a much calmer demeanor than Sam, before moving on to Shepard and giving her a gentle hug.

“Congratulations, Shepard. This is wonderful news.”

“Thank you, Steve. We’re really excited.”

Steve offered her a smile as they all heard the medbay doors open, and saw Karin and Chloe walking out.

“What is all the commotion out here?” Chakwas asked, before noticing everyone gathered around Shepard. “Oh good. You’re finally telling people. I didn’t think you’d be able to keep it a secret much longer.”

“Thanks, doc,” Jane said, sarcasm flooding her voice.

“What? She knew too?” Sam asked still not able to calm herself down fully.

“Sam… Of course she knows. She’s my doctor.”

“Right. Of course. I think I need to go lie down before I have to go back on duty,” Sam said, still flabbergasted. “Congratulations you two,” she said as she went over to give Kaidan a hug too before leaving.

Dr. Michel chose this time to congratulate them as well, stating how Dr. Chakwas had just been filling her in on Jane’s condition. They had just had their own long conversation about sharing medbay duty while Karin was here, so just in case Karin was indisposed, Chloe was now up to date with everything.

It was only a few minutes later that she had felt an invisible weight on her shoulder, and a whispered “Congratulations, Shep,” in her ear, clearly knowing Kasumi was opting to stay cloaked, but still wanted to be included in the moment. Shepard just gave a knowing smile, and a gentle tap on the hand on her shoulder, to allow Kasumi to know that she had heard, and appreciated the acknowledgement.

The mess had cleared out after that for a little while as everyone was settling into their old hangouts. Shepard had moved back to her hiding spot again after everyone had left. About twenty minutes later Jack and Zaeed had finally come down off the elevator.

Jack had almost stalled in her tracks. “Rupert?”

He looked up ecstatically. “Jack!” he almost yelled while opening his arms signalling her to come give him a hug, and she ran over to do just that.

Kaidan had only met Jack on a few occasions, but he had only witnessed her acting even remotely like that around Shepard before, so he was somewhat shocked to say the least. What most people hadn’t known was that Rupert and Jack had spent many nights together talking during their shared time serving under Shepard. Neither wanting to address exactly what their relationship had turned into, because to address it would cause both of them too much pain in reflection of what they had lost or missed out on.

To Shepard, it had been obvious that they had developed something of a surrogate father-daughter relationship, though she would never draw attention to it, for fear that it would make Jack want to run away. It was nice to know that Jack had someone to confide in, as well as someone to genuinely care for her.

“Glad to see you finally came to your senses, old man! I cannot believe you stayed with Cerberus that long.”

“You could say that again. The important thing is that I did. Come to my senses that is.”

Zaeed was just leaning against the counter silently, watching the whole interaction after he and Kaidan had shared a quiet greeting.

“Say, Jack, could you help an old man out and grab me the sauce that’s setting in the fridge?” Rupert managed to ask, a little less enthusiastically than last time.

“Sure thing,” she said, walking over to the fridge. Her reaction had been quite different than Samantha’s as she had noticed immediately. “Well, shit. Who’s having a baby?”

Zaeed finally spoke up, “Ah, well would you look at that,” he said looking over at Kaidan. “That why Shepard’s been hiding so quietly at the tables over there this whole time?”

Shepard scoffed. “I guess I should have known better than to think that plan would work for everyone,” she said walking over to join the group.

“I wouldn’t be a good merc if I hadn’t noticed ya, now would I. Ain’t that somethin’ though. Congrats, you two. Though, keep the thing away from me until it stops shittin’ its britches would ya?”

They all laughed as Jack replied with a “Ditto”.

“I’m just teasin’. I don’t mind kids as long as I can give ‘em back at the end of the day. Well, I’ll leave you lot too it for now. Wanna make sure I can get my old room back before anyone else takes it. Heard there’s a real bed in there now.”

“Yeah, you’re lucky Diana’s already well on her way to Palaven, otherwise I’m sure she would have claimed it for herself by now.”

“Better not waste anymore time then before someone else snatches it up. See ya at dinner, everyone.”

Shepard noticed that Jack had gotten kind of quiet. She had waited for Zaeed to leave before going over to give Jane a hug.

“I didn’t really mean that ‘ditto’ comment by the way. Kids aren’t so bad. Especially if it’s yours. You’re gonna make a good mom, Shepard,” she said quietly.

That sentiment meant everything coming from Jack. It was almost enough to make her start crying, but she knew that if she did, Jack would never let her live it down, so she willed every threatened tear back into her body to save herself some embarrassment, and forced out a “Thanks, Jack. You’re going to make a good Aunt.”

Their relationship wasn’t one for many words. Largely made up of the things that they both knew to be true but left unsaid. This instance was really not so different. Jack’s previous statement was something that most people would have said to expectant parents, but behind the sentiment, Shepard knew that it wasn’t easy for Jack to imagine what a good mother might be. For her to even think that someone could do that job well enough to state such a thing, meant that she fully trusted the words that she had just thrust out into the universe. To hear that from Jack meant more to her than anyone else who could say it, and Jack knew that too.

Then Jack looked over to Kaidan. “I guess you’ll make a good dad too. I heard about your biotic students, you know. I think I’ll even be getting a couple of them after the new academy opens.”

“Thanks, Jack. That’s good to hear. You’ll have to let me know how they’re doing.”

“You could always come see for yourself. Don’t suppose you’d be interested in a teaching position would you?”

“I did really enjoy it, but I honestly couldn’t even imagine leaving Shepard right now, not to mention the fact that I already have a job. I might consider it sometime in the future if things change.”

“That was the right answer. I’ve still got my eye on you, you know,” she said jokingly this time, unlike how she had said it after his wedding vows. “Seriously though, it’s a standing offer should your situation ever change. To have a knowledgeable teacher, who actually cares about what they’re doing and how their kids are doing is so important. You’d be an asset. But I understand that you’ve got your own family to think about for now. Just know that it’s there if you want it.”

“I will, Jack. Thanks. That means a lot to me.”

“Yeah, yeah. Oh, and before I forget, Kahlee sends her regards. She’d be very interested in this new development by the way.”

Kaidan and Shepard shared a guilty look.

“What?” Jack asked.

“She knows already. In fact, she was one of the first ones to find out.”

“What?! Seriously, Shepard? You told her before me? What the fuck!”

“It wasn’t on purpose. She kind of caught me in a moment where I couldn’t deny it. We weren’t even telling people yet.”

“I guess that’s acceptable,” Jack grumbled out. “ On the bright side, I get to participate in some good old fashioned workplace gossip when this trip is over. You’ve just given me something to look forward too, Shep.”

Shepard gave a small laugh at that, as she heard the elevator door opening again. She realised that she wouldn’t be able to make it over to her hiding spot again in time, so she opted to zip up her hoodie again and hope for the best.

She was excited to see that it was Gabby and Ken this time. She was looking forward to catching up with them. 

As she and Gabby made eye contact, Gabby called out to her excitedly, “Shepard! You’re here already!” and ran to give her a hug. Shepard reciprocated, making sure to ‘leave room for jesus’ so as not to give away her secret. If Gabby had noticed the awkwardness of it, she hadn’t let on to that fact.

“Hey, skeez ball,” Jack said to Ken.

“Jack,” he nodded in acknowledgement. “Good to be seeing less of you than usual.”

“Yeah, well I knew you were going to be on board, so I put some more clothes on.”

“Ah, so I see my vulgarity has finally fulfilled its intended purpose.”

“Yeah, sure. You keep telling yourself that. I know you loved it,” she said with a wink.

To any outsiders, the conversation may have sounded like it bordered on hostility, but Shepard knew that they just liked to bust each others balls.

“Good to see that you have him on a tighter leash these days, Gabby,” Jack said.

“Ha. I try. Unfortunately he still has a mind of his own, sometimes.”

They all laughed for a second, before Gabby turned back to Shepard. “Actually, Shepard, I was hoping to get a moment of your time. I have something I want to show you.”

“I know when I’m being told to scram,” Jack said, as Gabby looked the slightest bit horrified at the thought that it sounded like she didn’t want to talk to Jack. “That’s okay, I’ll just go down and make sure no one’s taken my old quarters either.”

“I don’t think you’d ever have to worry about that, Jack,” Ken barked out.

“Yeah, yeah. All you ‘normies’ just don’t know what you’re missing out on. Cool, and dark. Perfect sleeping conditions.”

“You must not watch many horror vids.”

“On the contrary, there Kenny. Maybe you just have the wrong idea about which character I’d be playing.”

Ken just mock shuddered at the thought.

“Anyway, you guys going to be down in engineering later? Maybe we’ll catch up more down there.”

“Sounds good, Jack,” Gabby said, seeming relieved that she hadn’t actually offended anyone.

“So, you had something you wanted to show me?” Shepard asked as Jack was walking away.

Gabby, just looked behind her to show that she wanted this to be at least semi private. Rupert got the hint immediately and used that time to excuse himself to the bathroom for a moment. That was satisfactory enough for Gabby, because she knew that if Shepard and Kaidan’s relationship was anything like her own, then nothing would stay a secret between them for long anyway. She pulled something out of her bag, and handed it over to Shepard. Jane recognized it immediately as she had only just been showing off her own to the rest of the crew all afternoon.

Shepard gasped. “Oh my god. Gabby! That’s amazing,” she said, looking up at her now to see that Gabby was absolutely beaming. “That sure didn’t take long.”

“Yeah. Chakwas warned us that right after you get off the blockers it tends to make you more fertile for a few months. Not that I ever doubted her or anything, but she sure seemed to be right in our case.”

“Well congratulations, you guys. How far along are you?”

“9 weeks.”

“I’m so happy for you,” Jane said, handing the sonogram back, pausing for a moment. The last thing she wanted to do was steal Gabby’s thunder right now, but the fact remained that she couldn’t easily hide her own pregnancy anymore, so she hesitated for a second before adding, “I know it seems like you’re still keeping this a secret, but when you’re ready to tell people, you should put that up on the fridge with the other one.”

“Other one?” she questioned, as Shepard just nodded her head towards the fridge, signalling for Gabby to look for herself.

Gabby approached the fridge admiring the sonogram, noting how it was markedly further along than her own. It seemed to take her a second, before she went slack-jawed, turning her head towards Shepard. “This is yours?!” she burst out.

“Guilty. I really am excited for you. After what you showed me, I didn’t want to steal your thunder, but I figured it was better to tell you now. Especially going to this wedding with the dress I picked out, it was going to be pretty obvious.”

“What?! Don’t be crazy! This is amazing. Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“I had only just found out the day before we had that talk. I hadn’t had any formal testing done or anything, so we weren’t really ready to tell anyone yet.”

Gabby nodded, understanding the sentiment, but she was now also beaming for her friend’s good news. “You have no idea how relieved this makes me! I have no idea what I’m doing. We don’t have any real friends with kids, and I have no one to ask about weird pregnancy things. It makes me feel better knowing I have someone to go through this with.”

“Oh believe me, I felt entirely out of my element too. At least I have my mom and Ada to talk about it with. Brynn too actually. Feel free to give me all the gorey details or questions anytime you want. I’m still not an expert by any means, but at the very least I can commiserate with you,” she said laughing.

Gabby paused for a moment in consideration, before moving over to the fridge and plastering her picture up there with the other one.

“You really don’t have to do that on my account, Gabby. It was only a suggestion.”

“And it was a good one, Shepard. I think I just realised, that this is the right time,” she said, looking over to Ken. “This is our family now, and it feels right to be celebrating it with everyone.” Ken gave her a look of approval.

“Good. I know it can be scary sharing this kind of news with people, but it’s also been a lot of fun. It’s kind of nice to have it out in the open. And now you can tell Tali too! She’s going to go crazy.”

“Oh man, you’re right. I hadn’t even considered it before. Imagine how she’s going to feel finding out we both are.”

“Hopefully we don’t break her. She probably won’t believe it,” Jane laughed.

This is when they looked over to Ken and Kaidan sharing their congratulations with each other as well.

“I guess we’ll probably be seeing a lot more of each other from now on, won’t we? Our futures are about to be filled with playdates,” Kaidan said.

“Oh thank god! Now we don’t have to go around meeting random parents just so our kid can have a friend. You have no idea how much I was worrying that I may have inadvertently sentenced the poor thing to a life of solitude, thanks to not wanting to be around people who wouldn’t be able to get over the fact that ‘Commander Shepard’ had a baby.”

Gabby laughed. “Well, we might not have had the same thing to worry about, but it’s just as reassuring for us knowing that our baby already has a friend in the making too.”

This is when Rupert finally decided that he couldn’t wait to get back to his cooking, worried that he was about to ruin everyone’s dinner.

“Sorry for intruding, everyone, but I still have to finish up dinner. Don’t worry, I washed my hands.”

Everyone just gave a disgusted face at that, wondering why he felt inclined to announce that, and hoping that it didn’t mean that washing his hands wasn’t already a regular occurrence for him. Rupert moved over to the fridge to grab the last of his food preparations, noticing the new sonogram immediately.

“Oh no. One pregnant woman bossing everyone around is bad enough, but having two on one ship is just scary,” he said jokingly. “Congratulations guys. I’m glad you two finally got together. The whole ship had a betting pool to see when it’d happen. Looks like I missed out on the payout.”

Gabby looked over to Shepard.

“Hey, don’t look at me. I didn’t know anything about that. My advice for you to be together was genuine. People don’t usually like including their commanding officers in gambling practices. Our game of Skyllian-five was a rare occurrence for me.”

“Good thing too, otherwise you’d bankrupt the whole crew,” Ken said, as Shepard decided to put up the picture of Jacob and Brynn’s baby along with the other ones now too, figuring they had probably fooled as many people as they would with their sonogram by now. There were only a couple people left to announce it to anyway.

“Jacob had a baby too huh?” Rupert said, fondly. “Ah, ain’t that somethin’ though. Three babies already.”

Shepard smiled at that, “Yeah, I guess we’re about to have our very own  _ Normandy _ baby boom. Never thought I’d see the day, much less be a part of it.”

Kaidan walked over to caress Shepard’s arm comfortingly, remembering those times of doubt more easily than he would have cared to admit. It made them appreciate the present all that much more, though.

Rupert walked over to the intercom to announce dinner being ready in 5 minutes, only to be returned with Liara’s own announcement.

“James has just boarded. We will now be departing, as I have just received a message from Miranda stating that she was held up. We will rendezvous with her shuttle in a few hours. I’d like to take this opportunity to suggest a formal crew dinner. Anyone who is non essential personnel and interested, feel free to join us in the mess hall, otherwise, prepare for takeoff.”

That last statement was more out of courtesy to let people know that they wouldn’t be getting off the ship anymore. Thanks to the inertial dampeners, there was really nothing to prepare for if they weren’t to be included in the actual take-off itself, so Rupert took this opportunity to start dishing out trays of food.

“I take it you all plan on partaking in dinner?” Rupert asked the small group.

Shepard said, “Absolutely. I’m starving. It hasn’t really helped that I’ve had to smell your cooking this entire time,” as everyone else nodded to Rupert’s question.

“Heh, I guess I’ll take that as a compliment. Pregnant ladies first,” he said handing a tray each to Gabby and Shepard.

They both took the trays enthusiastically and went to go sit down beside each other, after Shepard had all too happily decided to remove her sweater completely. She always seemed to run hot these days, and was only wearing the hoodie to hide her bump. Kaidan and Ken sat beside them with their own trays shortly after. Rupert graciously waited to serve everyone as they slowly started filtering in, until the only one left was James who was taking his sweet time to join everyone. Rupert decided to leave the seat in front of Shepard empty for James to sit in when he finally decided to grace them all with his presence.

Soon after everyone had started eating, James came barreling in. “Hey guys. Don’t anyone get up on my account,” he shouted, as he ran up to the counter where the food was that Rupert had left out for him. “Sorry I’m late, everyone. Just had to drop off my bags, and send off a couple messages.”

Everyone else silently waited to see if he would notice anything, though he seemed to be particularly dense in his rush to join in.

“That’s quite alright, James. Good to see you. Hope N7 training’s treating you well,” Shepard said, trying to treat the situation as normally as possible.

“Heh, oh you know it hasn’t. I won’t lie, it’s been rough, Lola. Makes me have an all new level of respect for you, that’s for sure,” he said shoveling into his food, not even noticing how quiet everyone else was being.

“Well, it’s not supposed to be easy, but I have faith in your abilities.”

“Thanks,” he said, and for the first time he actually gave her a real look as he swallowed another bite of food. “You look a bit different there, Lola. Good, but different.”

“Different?”

“Yeah, I mean, look at those chichis. I don’t know what you’ve got going on there, but it’s working.”

Shepard just huffed with an amused smile on her face.

“You know I didn’t mean anything by it, Lola. I just meant to say that you’re looking good.”

“Well, thanks.”

He took another second to shovel more food away, as he looked over everyone in their silence only to pause on Gabby.

“Yeesh, what are they feeding you guys, Gabby your chichis are looking good too.”

This is when James had finally noticed how purposefully everyone had been watching their conversation unfold, as everyone had moved their gazes to Gabby now with shocked looks on their faces.

“Hey, hey now! I’m the only one allowed to look at her chichis,” Ken piped up.

“Sorry guys. I feel like I’ve just dug myself into some kind of hole here. I really didn’t mean to offend anyone. It’s just hard not to notice… you know.” he said making lewd gestures implying some added girth to their chests.

Shepard just laughed. She was used to this kind of relationship from James, and figured he was just that way with most people. Gabby seemed to be having just as much fun with it as she was too, so she wasn’t worried about his behaviour. Ken seemed to be the only one who was upset by the whole ordeal, and even that was probably half being put on for show.

Sam spoke up tentatively, “Gabby? Not you too?”

Gabby just nodded her head with a big grin on her face.

Sam gasped, but tried to keep things much more subdued this time. She still couldn’t help herself from running over to Gabby and giving her a quick hug from behind, whispering a congratulations in her ear, and patting Ken on the shoulder on her way back to her chair. She looked over to Liara, who was smiling knowingly. 

“Oh my god, you knew about this too, didn’t you? I am so going to kill you!”

Liara just patted Sam’s knee gently, in her own quiet way of saying sorry.

Everyone else was clearly struggling to stay quiet until James managed to catch on.

“Okay… clearly I’m missing something here,” James finally said, as everyone giggled. “What?!”

Shepard pitied him, so she finally moved to stand up and take her tray back to the counter since she had finished anyway. Just to make things extra clear, she ran her free hand over her protruding abdomen. As she was standing up she said, “Oh don’t worry about it, James. It’s nothing.”

James dropped his fork back onto his tray as his eyes and mouth both opened wide now that he was clearly eye level with her baby bump.

“Mierda!” he gasped. “You cannot be serious. Lola!” He said, excitedly as he ran over to her side gesturing if it was okay if he could feel it, and after she had allowed it, he spurt out. “Holy shit, it’s real. You’re not just fucking with me right? That’s not just a food baby, is it?”

“No, I can assure you that it’s plenty real, James.”

He put her tray down, and brought her into a bear hug careful to not squish her stomach.

Then the moment dawned on him again, “Wait. That means you too, Gabby? Holy shit! Was I the only one that didn’t know?”

“We all knew about Shepard. We only just found out about Gabby thanks to your big mouth, Mr. Vega,” Steve said. “Congratulations, by the way,” he continued as he went to mirror Sam’s same gesture from earlier, giving her his own hug.

“Dios! Just imagine it, the  _ Normandy’s _ going to be full of little Nino’s in a couple months. Wow, this is blowing my mind!”

This is when everyone else started getting up to congratulate Gabby and Ken.

“Well there is still one other person we haven’t told,” Kaidan said.

Shepard looked over to Kaidan questioningly.

“Joker.”

“Oh my god. How could I have forgotten Joker?” Shepard asked looking sincerely disappointed with herself.

“It’s typical to become increasingly more forgetful throughout your pregnancy, Jane. Don’t feel too badly about it,” Karin stated.

She grumbled at the thought before stating, “He’s going to be pissed that he was the last one to find out about it.”

“Well that’s what he gets for refusing to leave the cockpit most of the time,” Liara said.

“Shall we go bring him a tray of food?” Kaidan suggested.

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” she said, walking over to the counter dishing out a tray for him.

“Have fun with that one,” James said,  as they both headed towards the elevator, before making their relatively short trip to the cockpit.

“Hey, Joker. Sorry it took so long for us to come say hi to you,” Kaidan said.

“All is forgiven as long as you’ve brought me up a tray of Rupert’s amazing food,” he said as he started to turn his chair around, only to be greeted with a perfect view of Shepard’s stomach. “GAH! Holy shit, what is that?!” he blurted out, stumbling backwards as much as he possibly could while still being seated.

“What does it look like, Joker?” Shepard asked as she handed him his tray.

He set the tray down and tried to straighten himself up as much as possible and regain some composure before continuing. “Well I’d say it looks like you’ve been eating too many donuts at that fancy new desk job of yours. Might want to fix that habit before it gets out of hand there, Admiral.”

“Unfortunately I think I’ve developed a taste for them. There’s no turning back now,” she joked back.

He smiled, glad to know that the pregnancy hadn’t completely taken away her sense of humor, and she could still take a punch. Well, a figurative one at least.

“So… a kid huh? I’ve always thought of reproducing as a way of validating that two people are having sex, and I really didn’t need to have that mental image of the two of you. So… thanks for that.”

“Jesus, Joker,” Shepard said as Kaidan just shook his head, laughing.

“Sorry,” he said with a sheepish grin. “Really though, this is pretty cool. You know I’m totally going to be the badass uncle making sure it’s getting into all sorts of trouble, right?”

“Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Aren’t you supposed to be the one making sure to get them out of trouble behind our backs when they’ve done something we’d be mad about?”

“You sure about that? Meh, well anyway, the point is there will be lots of trouble to be had, and I’ll be there for it.”

They both smiled at the sentiment.

“So I take it I’m the last one to find out about this, eh?”

“Yeaaah… Sorry about that,” Kaidan said, reluctantly.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll forgive you if you tell me what you’re having before anyone else finds out. You know… definitely not for any betting purposes or anything.”

“Sorry, Joker. We’re not even going to find that one out.”

“Ah, Damn it! It really doesn’t matter though, I’m just yankin’ you around. I’m happy for you both. Really,” he said, struggling to get out of his chair, and giving them both real hugs.

“Thanks, Joker,” they both said.

“Well anyway, this thing is sucking the life out of me. If you don’t mind, I’m going to go take a nap before Miranda gets here.”

“Sure thing, Shep. I’ll make sure to come down for breakfast tomorrow so we can really catch up, okay. And oh, if you happen to get some insider information on what you’ve got smuggled away in there, remember, you owe me!” he said in a sing-songy voice.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen,” Kaidan said as Shepard chuckled.

“See you tomorrow, Joker.”

“Alright, see ya,” he said, sounding somewhat dejected as he turned back to start eating his dinner, while Kaidan decided to stay and catch up.


	32. Home is Where the Heart is

It was a few hours later, after Shepard had managed to get some rest that she finally made her way back down to the Mess hall with some of the reports she had brought along on her datapad. She knew Miranda was set to arrive any time now, and despite Miranda’s perfect physique, she was still a biotic and was required to eat frequently. Jane knew that it was inevitable that she would run into her in the kitchen shortly after her arrival.

Shepard and Kaidan had decided that it might be better for Jane to tell Miranda alone. Miranda had opened up emotionally a lot over the last couple of years, and even become friends with Kaidan on her own during the last few weeks of Shepard’s recovery, but she was still a relatively private person. And if Shepard were to guess, she figured that Miranda would probably have the most emotional response of all of her friends, likely for a lot of reasons.

She already knew that Miranda would be happy for her. This was something that they had already talked about before the war ended after all. But Shepard had also never forgotten that report from Miranda’s doctor that she read on the Shadow Broker’s ship just after Liara had taken over. This whole thing was about to become very bittersweet, and she was suddenly thankful that Miranda’s plans had changed last minute so they could have some time to talk about this privately.

Shepard thought she might try something to lighten the mood a bit first, hoping that Miranda would appreciate it. She went to the cupboards and was happy to find some more buns from their dinner hiding away on the shelf. She set one on a plate and put it in the oven, hoping that she would equate it with the old fashioned human term, though with the oddity of the whole situation, she figured it would probably take more than that for the realization of her pregnancy to dawn on Miranda.

Shepard had been sitting at the table for about half an hour working on her reports, periodically staring at her cup of hot cocoa with disdain, trying to will it to become coffee with nothing but her intimidating glare. Unfortunately it seemed to have more balls than a Krogan, because despite her best efforts, the contents of her mug remained unchanged. She was glad she had at least paired it with a bag of pretzels and a small bowl of peanut butter to dip them in. Pretzels had been one of Ada’s suggestions to help ease the morning sickness, and even since that period had mostly passed, they had quickly turned into one of her cravings instead of just an aid. She added the peanut butter shortly after when her appetite increased as a good way to get extra calories.

Finally, she had heard the elevator doors opening, and the sound of clacking heels on the metal floor made it obvious that Shepard had been correct in her assumptions that she’d be running into Miranda here sooner rather than later.

Shepard had still chosen to sit at the table to hide the view, but she wasn’t particularly hiding herself like she had been trying to do earlier in the day. As Miranda rounded the corner, and was within Jane’s view, she decided to make herself obvious.

“Hey, Miranda,” she said cheerily.

“Shepard,” she said with a smile, about to start heading over to Jane.

“Hang on. Sorry, I’ll be with you in just a second, I just need to finish up this report before I go insane. I’m almost done. In the meantime, I think Rupert left you a plate in the oven,” she said with barely contained smile.

“No worries. Did you say Rupert? I have to say, I’m a little surprised at that.”

“Well if you of all people managed to defect, I should think anyone could.”

She laughed at that. “Fair enough. Good for him, and thank goodness for his food. I’m famished.”

Miranda went over to the oven and pulled out the plate looking at it questioningly.

“He does remember that I’m a biotic right? He certainly made enough comments on my diet while he served with us, I would have thought it impossible to forget.”

Shepard smiled in her direction, knowing that her idea had probably been way too out of left field to have gotten any hints as to what was really going on.

“I think it was a joke, Miranda.”

“Good to see he still has a sense of humour.”

“I think there’s a real plate for you in the fridge,” this hadn’t been a joke or a ploy. Rupert really had stored a plate away for her in the fridge, though she would have been shocked if Miranda wouldn’t notice the images now plastering the front of it.

As Miranda walked to the fridge, Shepard quietly padded over to meet her, and leaned against the counter. She watched Miranda reach her arm out to pull the fridge open only to pause with her hand plastered on the handle. Miranda quietly took in a sharp breath of air. She clearly didn’t even have a question in her mind that at least one of those had belonged to Shepard, as she slowly turned her head, eyes towards Jane’s torso for confirmation. As she saw the swell that Shepard now proudly wore, she immediately began to tear up, and sink her head into her free hand.

She wordlessly took the few steps over to meet Shepard, and drew her into a hug, while silently sobbing. Jane reciprocated, holding onto her tightly, as she began to shed her own tears. The whole interaction was one of happiness, though to a bystander it surely would have looked like someone had just died.

As Miranda finally started to calm down, she pulled away from one side of the hug, and wiped at her lingering tears with the free hand. She looked down again, before forcing out a strangled, “Oh, Shepard,” before she started to tear up again. “How could you not have told me before now?”

Shepard took a second to back out of the hug completely and wipe away her own tears. “I tried. I tried harder for you than for anyone else. You’re not the easiest person to find, you know,” she said, letting out a watery chuckle. “That’s kind of besides the point though, because the only way anyone seems to be having any luck contacting anyone is through text. I just couldn’t imagine doing this any other way than in person.”

Miranda nodded in understanding. She was grateful to not be reading about this in some message that would have likely just gotten hidden away in the plethora of others flooding her terminal now that it was the only viable long distance communication.

“I felt like I owed you that much at least,” Shepard continued.

“Don’t be silly, Shepard. You don’t owe me anything.”

“That’s not true. Without you, this couldn’t have happened. I was dead, Miranda. You’re responsible for saving me twice now. You managed to bring me back so completely that this was even a possibility. Don’t you understand? This baby, Kaidan, the chance to be with my family. All of them. All of you. You’ve given me a second chance... And a third. I owe you everything.”

Miranda just silently shook her head at her for a moment.

“That’s not entirely fair, you know. It’s not like you haven’t already repaid the favour more times than I’d like to count. Besides, you know as well as I do that I was merely hired the first time around. The second time, it was because I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do everything within my power to help you. It’s because I care about you, not because I felt like I owed it to you.”

“I know. But there’s no way that I can’t be grateful for what you’ve done for me. I guess I just meant that you deserve to be included in this celebration, because no matter how you try to rationalize your way out of it, this wouldn’t have been possible without you. So... thank you.”

Miranda just nodded silently, not willing to verbalise any responsibility for Shepard’s happiness, but also knowing that if she didn’t acknowledge it somehow, Shepard would never let it go.

“You know… you’re the only one who reacted that way to finding out,” Shepard said with a somewhat forced smile.

“What do you mean? I’m the only one who cried about it?”

“No. A couple people cried. But your reaction was so raw. Almost like it was somewhat pained.”

Miranda bowed her head for a moment. “You know that I’m barren, don’t you?”

“I’m sorry, Miranda. I came across your doctors records when we were at Hagalaz.”

Miranda nodded, knowing full well that she meant when she had suddenly inherited the new Shadow Broker as her best friend. That had happened relatively early in Shepard’s Cerberus days, before they had known each other very well. Miranda didn’t blame her for wanting to do a thorough background check given the newfound opportunity.

“It’s okay, Shepard. But you should know, that’s not what this is about. Truly. I’ve had a lot of time to come to terms with the fact that I will never have a baby of my own, and I’ve made my peace with it. I hope you believe me when I say, I honestly don’t feel anything other than joy for you.”

“Of course. I never meant for it to seem like I thought you were upset about this. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Thanks for the sentiment, Shepard. I’m fine. It is kind of odd though, knowing that someone else knows about it now. To the best of my knowledge you’re the first to ever find out. The first person of any real importance anyway. It kind of makes me feel vulnerable. Not something I’m used to feeling.”

“Why? Being barren isn’t a weakness.”

“No. Of course not. Being barren in itself isn’t a weakness. I mean, the part of it being obvious that it was something I had sought out seriously enough to consult professionals. For people to know how badly I wanted it, but can’t have it. I just don’t usually like people knowing these things about me,” she said, pausing for a moment before continuing. “I’m glad it was you who found out though. I trust you. It almost feels good to talk about it. Like it doesn’t own me anymore. Like I finally believe the words that I’ve been telling myself for the last few years. Almost cathartic, really.”

“Well good. At the very least, I’m glad I could help with that. You know if you ever need to talk, I’m there for you, right? About this, or anything.”

“I know, Shepard. I’m alright though. Really. Even if I wasn’t, though, that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of being happy for you too.”

“Then why did that feel so bittersweet?”

Miranda took a moment to consider her feelings. “I don’t think bittersweet is exactly right, although maybe to some very small extent. In a big way, this is an end of an era, but it’s a good end. I think it was more about the fact that I knew how badly you truly wanted this. I certainly knew how much you deserved this. I think for the first time since the end of the war it just suddenly dawned on me that we’re not fighting anymore. Our survival isn’t a question with incredibly low odds. Seeing you, like that is just the embodiment of hope that everything is going to be okay now. This is a legacy and a future that no one knew if we would even have. I guess it was just a little overwhelming. In a good way.”

Shepard just offered her a small contented half smile. She had realized that she had been feeling all of those things too, just without putting it into words before now.

“So, I take it you were the one responsible for that?” Miranda asked.

“Hmm?” she queried as she was brought out of her thoughts.

Miranda nodded her head to the bun on the plate sitting on the counter by the oven. “Bun in the oven? Really? I never took you to be so literal,” she said with a laugh.

“Guilty. I guess I figured that this would probably get a bit emotional. I thought it might be nice to have something that would lighten the mood a bit.”

“Hmm. I guess it worked, though it certainly took me long enough to catch on.”

“I can’t say that I blame you. No one seemed to be expecting this. I guess it did happen kind of fast, didn’t it?”

“Maybe, though you look good. I expect you’ve been recovering ahead of schedule anyway. This is _you_ we’re talking about after all.”

“I suppose you’re right. I have been feeling almost back to normal for quite some time now I guess.” Jane laughed. “But anyway, I’m assuming this didn’t all ruin your appetite. Rupert really did leave you a plate in the fridge. Why don’t you heat it up and come join me and we can catch up properly,” Shepard said as she walked back to her spot at the table.

“Sounds good,” she said as she moved back to the fridge. As her plate was warming up in the reheater, she was admiring all of the images on the front of the fridge now. Jacob and Brynn’s daughter was certainly adorable, and she hadn’t missed the fact that there were two ultrasounds.

Miranda brought her plate back to the table and sat beside Shepard. She noticed Jane looking scornfully at her beverage as she sat in the chair next to her. She heard Jane audibly grunt in displeasure.

“What’s wrong? What is that?”

“Hot cocoa… or probably more like just cocoa at this point. I miss coffee. I feel like I’m five years old drinking this stuff.”

“Surely some coffee won’t hurt. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.”

“I’m allowed to have one cup a day, but I’ve already had tea,” she said, picking up the drink and sipping it begrudgingly. “I felt like having something hot, and now I just don’t want to waste it.” She was thankful that the pretzels and peanut butter at least paired with it well enough.

Miranda smiled sympathetically before taking a bite of her own food. “So Brynn had her baby, I see. She’s adorable.”

“She sure is. We went to go see her after she was born. They named her after me, you know.”

“What, Shepard?”

“No, at least they weren’t so obvious about it, thank god. I’m sure there will be way too many Shepards to contend with over the next century.”

“How modest of you,” Miranda said sarcastically.

Shepard laughed at that, she usually wasn’t so easy to give herself undue credit. Her assumptions hadn’t necessarily been unfounded though. She had already read some articles about ‘Shepard’ being estimated to be the most popular baby name of coming years.  Something she normally would have had no interest in for many reasons, but things like that were quickly becoming part of her life.

“So what, Jane then?”

“No. They named her Jess, for Jane Elizabeth Shepard. Brynn was firmly holding her ground on wanting to name the baby after me, but Jacob was only willing to do it if it was something more unassuming. I guess it made it more personal too. People barely know my first name, so you’d have to know me pretty damn well to know my middle one. It was sweet, but I still find it kind of strange.”

“I could imagine.”

Shepard laughed.

“So, who else is pregnant?”

“That’s not exactly my news to give, now is it?” Jane smiled.

“Oh come on. It’s obviously public, otherwise they wouldn’t have put it up on the fridge. I promise I’ll go congratulate whoever it is in person as soon as I see them.”

Jane shook her head, knowing that she likely wasn’t just going to leave it be.

“Gabby.”

“Ah- hmm- ugh,” Miranda said with the most odd combination of faces. She had gone from pleasantly surprised, to questioning, and ending up on disgust from what Shepard could guess.

“What? No good?” Shepard asked as she took another sip of her drink.

“Well when you said Gabby, I was certainly pleased. The galaxy would do well to have another one of her around. But then I realised that also meant we would be plagued with another little Kenneth.”

Shepard barked out with laughter. “Oh come on. I know he can be a bit much, but he’s really not so bad.”

“Well, if Gabby’s still managed to stay with him, I suppose there may be something I’m missing.”

Then their conversation was interrupted abruptly by Shepard gasping and looking down at herself.

Miranda darted her gaze over to Shepard, her features clearly laced with concern. “What is it?! What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” she said quietly. “I just felt it,” she was pointing towards her lower abdomen where she had felt the movements.

“You haven’t felt any movement before this?” she asked as she studied the spot that Shepard had just pointed to.

“Nothing so substantial. I’ve felt flutters, but this was different.”

“How far along are you exactly?”

“18 weeks. Dr. Chakwas said I shouldn’t expect to feel anything for another month or so,” she said as she gasped again, and looked to Miranda in shock.

“I saw that. It was faint, but I definitely saw something.”

Shepard raised her shirt slightly, and grabbed Miranda’s hand to place it on the spot. They both waited quietly as Miranda turned to get more comfortable. A few seconds later it happened again.

“Did you feel that?!”

“Yes!” she said, as she pressed her hand a little more tightly to Shepard’s abdomen, before feeling another kick.

They both marveled in the experience for another minute or so, before Miranda finally relinquished her hand.

“Well, you’re certainly carrying a little Shepard in there.”

Shepard laughed before letting out a sigh. “Kaidan’s going to be so upset.”

“Why?”

“As soon as I started showing, he’s been lying down with his head on my lap every night while he talks or sings to the baby. At first it was so sweet that I would just watch him do it. But then after night 4 in a row, I tried to brush him off so I could get some sleep, but he vehemently claimed that time as his special bonding time.”

“He said I got the baby all day, and that he wanted a turn. It was so sweet. How could I not let him have that? I ended up saving that time to read my reports so I at least wouldn’t just feel like I was sitting around. Even though I’ve been distracted, I haven’t missed the fact that in the last couple weeks, he’s included his hand there. I’m pretty sure he’s been trying to be the first one to feel it.”

Miranda shook her head somewhat in disbelief. “How did you end up with such a romantic?”

“I know right?” She said as they both laughed.

“Well, I’m sorry that he wasn’t the first, but thank you for including me in that, Shepard. It was special.”

“If it wasn’t going to be Kaidan, then I’m glad it was you.”

Miranda offered her a kind smile for the sentiment. “I bet it was the hot cocoa that did it. I’ve heard babies often respond to sugary foods in utero.”

“Ugh, great,” Shepard grimaced. “Kaidan’s probably going to make me recreate it until he feels it for himself then,” she laughed.

They both sat in companionable silence for a moment finishing off their food before properly catching up. Miranda gushed over Oriana, and how proud of her she was. Shepard remembered easily that Oriana had wanted to go into colonization efforts, and those skills were needed now more than ever. Shepard spoke fondly of her new job as well, noting that she was even slightly surprised at how easy it was to fall into it after a bit of an adjustment period.

They had both waited until they were more than overtired before finally deciding to retire for the evening. Shepard knew that she would likely regret that with how tired she’d been, but knew it was worth it in the end, having the time to really catch up with her friend. She was on a semi-vacation after all, and not even remotely in charge of the ship in any official capacity, despite Liara telling anyone to follow any orders given by Shepard. If worse came to worst she could always nap the day away guilt free.

She was still living off the high of the day, and reveling being with her insane mismatched family again. The _Normandy_ wasn’t home, the people who brought it to life were, and she was glad to be a part of it again, she thought as she was on the elevator back up to the loft.

She was excited about the prospect of finally getting some real sleep only to find Kaidan eagerly waiting to find out how things went. Not being able to hide the guilt, she made the admission that Kaidan wouldn’t get to be the first one to feel the baby move.

The disappointment that immediately washed over his face was almost heartbreaking, but luckily it didn’t last for long before he understood what the admission had really meant.

“Wait! That means that you felt it. Already? A real kick?”

“Yeah. It was substantial enough that Miranda and I could even see it. Just barely, and it was still extremely faint feeling it from the outside, but it was undeniable, at least for me.”

“Wow, that’s incredible. Come over here,” he said patting her side of the bed, enticing her to join him.

She laid down on the bed, and made herself comfortable cuddling into his side, not quite as closely as they were once able to.

“You’re disappointed.”

Even though he was more happy than anything, she could still clearly see that a part of him was upset.

“A bit,” he admitted honestly. “But it’s okay. That just means I’ll be able to feel it soon too if you’re already feeling it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Jane. This was a good thing,” he said as he ran his fingers gently through her hair before pulling her in for a quick and gentle kiss. “Where did you feel it?”

She took his hand and placed it on her lower right abdomen, holding it with her own. “Right here.”

Without removing his hand, he readjusted himself to have better access to talk to it.

“Hi, blueberry,” he said to her stomach. He hadn’t stopped calling it that ever since that first morning after they had found out about the pregnancy. Shepard couldn’t help but smile every time she heard it. She found it extremely endearing.

“If you’re trying to recreate it, I doubt it’s going to happen again so soon,” she said while running her fingers through his hair this time.

“That’s okay. We were so busy today, I missed out on my private time. If I feel something, then that’s great. If not, then I still get to have my little chat for the day.”

“Alright. Well I won’t stop you, but I’m probably going to try to sleep then. You enjoy your time with her.”

“Her, huh? You didn’t go do something else without me did you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No. But Liara had a point earlier. I don’t like calling her ‘it’ anymore. A girl kind of feels right.”

“You think?”

“What, you think it’s a boy?”

“I didn’t say that. I think I just don’t want to have to admit to being wrong about it. Blueberry suits me just fine for now. Besides whatever the case may be, that’s such a small part of who they’re going to be. Boy or girl, or whatever, it really doesn’t matter. I just can’t wait for them to be here.”

Shepard sighed. “I don’t think I’d have a clue what to do with a girl.”

They both laughed.

“Well in that case, I take it back. I think we’re definitely having a girl then.”

She pushed his shoulder in mock offense. “You’re right though. It really doesn’t matter.”

He smiled at her before continuing his private conversation. Shepard listened for a little while finding that the sound of his voice comforted her. She wondered if it had the same effect on their child. She almost laughed at the thought that he may have been hindering his chances to feel any movement if that was the case, as she was so put at ease by his words that it was easily helping her drift off to sleep.


	33. Of Biotics and Hard Kicks

It had been 12 days since everyone had boarded the  _ Normandy _ , heading back to Palaven. They were set to be arriving sometime in less than 2 hours.

Kaidan had kept up with his nightly private conversations with their child even more diligently than before, knowing that there was an actual chance to feel the baby now. His efforts were fruitless however, nearly two weeks later, and he still hadn’t managed to feel anything.

It had taken four days before Shepard herself had even felt it again at all. She had just woken up and was begrudgingly contemplating getting out of bed before it shocked her out of her sleepy stupor. Her yelling for Kaidan to “come here quick,” only made him run out of the bathroom, having a panic attack at what could have happened to his peacefully sleeping wife in the 10 minutes that he had left her to have a shower.

The wet and naked look of worry was extremely laughable, but Shepard wouldn’t dare. With the amount of distress that she had singlehandedly put this man through during their time together, she couldn’t blame his reaction at her screaming for him.

She had quickly reassured him that nothing was wrong before waving him over with a hand on her stomach, to indicate why she was so rushed. As soon as he had understood what she meant, he ran over and kneeled on the floor next to her side of the bed trying to not get the covers wet or soapy. Shepard had quickly placed his hand where she had felt it and they stayed like that quietly trying not to move so he could feel it. She even gently prodded the area, hoping for a response to no avail. After 10 minutes of waiting, Shepard’s bladder had been on the verge of bursting before she finally had to apologize and run to steal the bathroom from him.

To both of their dismay, in the week since then, that had seemed to become somewhat of a regular occurrence. Shepard had started to feel movement increasingly more often, and the times that Kaidan happened to be around, things always ended up the same way - with Kaidan rushing to feel what amounted to nothing.

He had been extremely patient, and still would be if it came down to it, but he was glad that Chakwas had scheduled one of Shepard’s checkups for today so he could bombard her with questions and to see if that was normal.

They were currently walking into the medbay, just in time to see Dr. Chakwas finishing setting everything up.

“Ah, Admiral, General. Perfect timing. Ready to see your little one?”

“We actually get to see today?” Shepard asked.

“Yes. You’re 20 weeks now, that means we get to do the anatomy checkup to make sure everything is developing properly as well as check up on any of the complications with the eezo nodules, so you’ll likely get quite a good look today. You can have a seat up here if you’re ready,” she said, patting the newly prepared bed.

Shepard moved to sit down.

“So how have you been feeling? Anything new or any concerns?”

Kaidan didn’t even let her answer before he answered for her. “Apparently the baby’s been moving a lot.”

Chakwas threw a questioning look at Kaidan before she looked back to Jane for validation.

Shepard looked a little exasperatedly towards Kaidan before answering.

“He’s not wrong. Kaidan’s just a little upset that Miranda felt it a couple weeks ago now and he still hasn’t been able to feel it.”

“Ah. All in due time, General. I assure you there will be a time not too long from now that it will be all too frequent. I do have to say, this is a tad on the early side, though still within normal range that I wouldn’t expect your dates to be off. I suppose I should have expected as much with it being your child, Admiral. I’m sure it will feel like someone’s performing a decathlon in there soon enough.”

“I can’t say that that sounds all too appealing, Karin.”

Karin offered her a sympathetic smile, “It shouldn’t be all that bad. Not until it starts keeping you awake at night at least.”

“Fantastic.”

Karin just rubbed Shepards shoulder in comfort and offered her a sympathetic smile. She knew that Jane was happy to be in this position, but that didn’t change the fact that pregnancy wasn’t always glamorous.

“You must have been doing something out of the ordinary to get that little one to be active enough for someone else to feel it so early on.”

Jane just scrunched up her face. She was hoping that Miranda didn’t know what she was talking about when she mentioned that babies like sugary foods, but perhaps she was right. She knew the moment Kaidan heard that, he would be forcing her to drink the hot cocoa again.

Kaidan had noticed her reaction immediately. “You were doing something, weren’t you?” he said, looking hopeful.

“I was drinking hot cocoa,” she said, with a frustrated sigh.

“That would certainly do the trick. Babies get a boost out of higher sugar content in utero.”

“That’s actually what Miranda said at the time. I was hoping she was wrong. I didn’t particularly care for it.”

“Not a sweet tooth then?” Chakwas asked.

“I wouldn’t say that necessarily. Just not so much when it’s in liquid format. I’d much rather have my coffee.”

“Ah, I see. You were trying to use it as a substitute?”

“Tried being the operative word. It paled in comparison.”

“Well, if you didn’t like that, I can already predict that you will dislike your glucose tolerance test.”

“Ugh, I have no idea what that is, but I already hate the sound of it.”

“I’ll try to get you the orange flavour. It’s at least more tolerable,” Chakwas said, as she moved to bring over one of the portable terminals.

Kaidan couldn’t help but look a little hurt and dejected sitting up beside the head of the bed.  She grabbed his hand to get him to notice her. “I’m sorry I didn’t mention that bit.”

“It’s okay, Jane.”

“If it’ll make it up to you, I’m willing to try it again.”

“You don’t have to do that. You’re already the one making all the sacrifices for this. I’m not going to force you to drink something you hate.”

“How about I just give it one more chance. If that doesn’t do the trick, then you’ll have to wait for it to happen naturally.”

“Okay. I guess I’m willing to agree to those terms,” he said with a smile.

Chakwas had finished bringing all of the equipment that she needed over by that time. “Alright, you two. Are you ready to get a look at your child?”

“Yes, please. I think that would help,” Kaidan said.

Shepard lied on her back and lifted her shirt. Chakwas lowered Jane’s pants slightly and tucked a towel into the top of them like she had during every other scan. As soon as Chakwas brought the probe up to Shepard’s abdomen, and pressed down, the probe had been kicked in response.

“Oh my. That certainly is a lively one you’ve got in there, isn’t it?”

“What? What happened?” Kaidan asked immediately, not having seen it.

“Your child just kicked hard enough that it moved the probe over.”

“Seriously? So I’m not even going to be the second one to feel it?”

That’s when Jane scrunched her face up in guilt again.

“Jane? You have got to be kidding me,” he said, a little upset, but not angry.

“I’m sorry, Kaidan. You weren’t anywhere near us, and Liara was right next to me. I kind of grabbed her hand out of reflex.”

“Is that everyone?...” Another guilty look, with no answer. “Jane?”

“Sam was with us, and slapped our hands away to get a feel too.”

Kaidan just huffed out an exasperated sigh.

“Come here,” she said, gently coaxing him to come up to her head. She grabbed him, and pulled him down into a kiss.

“I’m sorry, Jane. Really, I’m glad we’re getting to celebrate everything about this with our friends. I know I’m being a bit of a baby about this. I guess I’m just a little bit jealous that you’re already getting this bonding experience. It must be so amazing. I just want to feel it already.”

“I know. We’ll go try that hot cocoa right after this, okay? I promise,” she said, not being able to help feeling bad for her husband. He had been trying so hard. She knew that he was trying to feel a connection to their child, and it was so sweet. She couldn’t deny him the chance to at least try to feel it if she could.

“Okay,” he said, as he ran his hand through her hair, trying to show her that he really wasn’t upset with her. Just upset with the situation.

Throughout that interaction, Chakwas had already started the exam without them noticing. It was good because that way she was able to bypass showing off the sex.

“So you two still didn’t want to know what you’re having, right?”

“No,” they both said.

“Okay,” she said with a bit of a grin.

“Wait, did you just see? Do you know already?”

“Yes, but I can be tight-lipped when I know I’m meant to be. You won’t be getting that out of me now that you’ve confirmed your wishes.”

“Hmm. I think that would have been easier had I not known that someone else knows about it,” Shepard said.

“Well, it’s too late now. Alright, everything’s looking good,” she said, as she started showing everything off again. This time it hadn’t taken long for Chakwas to find some eezo nodules.

“I expected to find this. See these here?” she said pointing to the screen. That’s an eezo nodule. I’ve seen a couple now. That confirms that your little one will be biotic. Let me just do a more in-depth search here to make sure there are no signs of complications.”

She spent a lot of time looking around closely and taking still images to examine again more thoroughly later. As she went along she pointed out things of interest again to show how they were developing.

“So far everything looks fine. I’ll collaborate with Chloe later to make sure I’m not missing anything. We’ll likely have to monitor you a bit more closely just to make sure they don’t develop into anything bad, but this all looks fairly typical to me. I don’t expect you’ll have anything to worry about.”

“Thank you, Karin,” Jane said, and she could see that there was a look of relief on Kaidan’s face as well. Until he was able to hear that his child was safe and healthy without a doubt, he probably wasn’t going to let himself live this down, which Jane hated. She wished he could see that it wasn’t his fault. It was even more reason to go see if this hot cocoa would work now.

Dr. Chakwas cleaned up the gel on Jane’s belly, and helped her sit up, since it was starting to become a bit more difficult already, and then shooed them off to go enjoy the rest of their day.

Jane went over to the kitchen and started boiling a pot of water. Kaidan took over immediately, saying that if she was really willing to do this for him, he would at least wait on her hand and foot. He let her go up to the loft to relax while he finished preparing it the same way that Shepard said she had done it two weeks ago, with the exception of adding cold milk to help cool it down enough so she could hopefully shotgun it and get it over with.

He brought it up to their cabin to find her lying on the bed, rubbing her belly, while looking at their new pictures. This was something he hadn’t really seen her do herself all that often up until this point. She had been excited, but it was nice to see her really start to embrace it.

“Everything okay?” He asked.

“Yeah. Liara was right, she does have my nose.”

“It really does look like it doesn’t it?” he said, as he glanced at the picture while he sat down beside her.

“I think so. But anyway, let’s get this over with,” she said, sitting up, making grabby hands at the mug as he handed it to her.

She took a few sips, testing the temperature. After she knew it would be fine, she just gulped it all down. She instantly regretted it because that was the most nauseous that she had felt in weeks. It wasn’t bad enough for her to think she would actually throw up, but still unpleasant.

Kaidan looked at her expectantly for a moment, assuming that she would already be feeling something.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she said, with a smile. “It’s going to take time to get to the baby, you know. It’s not like it was an instant reaction.”

“Oh. Right. Of course.”

“How about we just cuddle for a bit?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he said, spurring her to lie down. Being back on the  _ Normandy _ , and around their friends again had left them both busy and without a lot of time to be doing this kind of thing, especially with Jane going to bed early most nights. Even if the intended purpose of this wasn’t to feel the baby, he had to admit it sounded like a nice idea. He laid down right next to her, his chest against her back. She grabbed his hand that he had draped over her, and put it around the area that the baby kicked during their appointment, and they both just sat there silently enjoying the closeness.

Kaidan wasn’t usually one to nap, but it was so comforting that it almost lulled him into sleep. Jane could easily tell with the way his breathing was starting to regulate, that he was headed down that path.

“Hey, if you fall asleep and miss it, I’m not doing this again. It made me feel sick.”

“Oh. Sorry,” he said, kissing her shoulder. “I wouldn’t have let you if I knew that would happen.”

“I didn’t have this reaction last time, so I didn’t exactly expect it either,” she said.  Kaidan continued to kiss her shoulder, down into the crook of her neck, as he caressed her belly, trying to move his hand lower.

“Hey, that same rule applies if you distract us both,” she said, as she could feel him smile against her skin, and stopped moving his hand any lower.

And that’s when he finally felt it as he let out a gasp. His hand hadn’t been in the right place, so Jane moved it to exactly where the movement came from, where he received a few consecutive kicks into his palm. After they calmed down for a moment, Jane took his fingers and gently pushed into the general area that the kicking had been coming from, eliciting a matched push back.

“Oh my god. I never would have expected it to be so responsive,” he said. “That’s so amazing, Jane.”

Jane just had a beaming grin on her her face, happy that Kaidan was finally able to start feeling it too. They stayed like that for a few more minutes until Liara came over the ship-wide speakers announcing that they had landed on Palaven. Shepard was surprised that she hadn’t noticed through the skylight, but she was glad that she managed to pass the time so easily, while helping Kaidan cheer up. It also meant that she was about to be seeing the last of her friends, and very shortly.


	34. Reunited

Garrus and Tali were set to meet them to provide transport to the Vakarian residence, and they were supposed to be here upon landing, so Jane and Kaidan got up to get ready to make sure they didn’t miss out on seeing their old friends.

Two weeks had been enough to change Shepard’s shape notably. She was suddenly very thankful that she had decided to bring maternity clothes after all. She had been able to avoid it up until before their trip, but especially with how long they would be gone she didn’t want to be caught without anything that fit her. Now it already seemed that they were the only things that fit. Her N7 hoodie was no longer able to hide her bump for her. She was still able to zip it up, but instead of being loose, it was now a little on the snug side in the parts where she was the most wide. Thanks to that, and the fact that Garrus and Tali might not even know what a human sonogram looked like, they just decided to leave it out in the open and tell them point blank.

They took the elevator down to the loading bay, where they saw that a new shuttle had arrived. They would be safe in here thanks to the barrier around the loading bay doors, keeping the radiation out. They still weren’t totally sure how Garrus had planned for everyone to be able to live in the harsh circumstances, which is why he had come with transport for them all.

Garrus got out of the shuttle and walked over to greet them. Kaidan brought him into a big hug first.

“Hey, Garrus. Congratulations! Where’s your bride-to-be?”

“Thanks, Kaidan. She was afraid she might have a suit breach, she was just patching it up. She’ll be out in a minute.”

That’s when he got a good look at Shepard before she pulled him into a hug.

“Hey there, Shepard… you’re looking… different?” he offered. The words hadn’t been so dissimilar from James’ two weeks ago when he had first seen her, though coming from Garrus it sounded a lot less complimentary.

“What? Do I look fat or something?” she said, clearly amused by being able to torture her friend at his word choices.

“Um… well… I didn’t exactly want to put it that way.”

Jane and Kaidan just shook their heads.

“Garrus, do you know anything about human pregnancy?” Jane asked.

“Hah! I barely know anything about turian pregnancy. Why?”

“He certainly isn’t good at clueing in to things is he,” Jane said to Kaidan, to which he just shook his head more.

“What? Wait, you’re not saying that  _ you’re _ pregnant are you?”

“That is exactly what I’m trying to say, Garrus.”

“Oh,” he cleared his throat awkwardly. “I can’t believe it, you guys. That’s wonderful news. It’s kind of hard to wrap my head around it to be honest. I mean, a baby? That’s crazy. I had no idea humans got so large.”

Shepard laughed at that. “If you think this is big, imagine that I’m only half way through. This is nothing.”

“Oh my. Well then that sounds extremely uncomfortable.”

That’s when Tali finally came out of the shuttle mumbling something or other about a “little bosh’tet”, while looking at her suit, checking to make sure it was actually sealed.

“Um, Tali? Sweetie, You should come over here and see this,” Garrus said.

“Sweetie, huh? You guys are adorable,” Shepard said, with a teasing grin.

That’s when Tali looked up to try to see what Garrus was talking about. He had been blocking the view in front of Shepard, so after he saw that she was looking, he stepped out of the way. Shepard turned to a profile view to make it more obvious with a big grin on her face. Tali just stopped in her tracks, taking in the view of her friend, then to Kaidan, then to Garrus and back to Shepard.

“Oh, Keelah,” she said, having to go sit down on a crate. She tried to compose herself, almost looking like she was hyperventilating. She looked up at Shepard again. “Keelah,” She said again. This time they could all hear that it was muddied by tears. “Damn it, Shepard. Now I’m going to have to go rinse out my suit again.”

Jane went to go sit down beside her now, and wrapped her arm around her friend. “I’m sorry, Tali.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? The comms have been working again for a few days. It could have saved me the shock.”

“Are you kidding? We’ve had to wait this long already, there was no way we weren’t going to wait to see everyone’s reactions for ourselves.”

Tali had just leaned down, holding her faceplate with one hand. She waited until the tears of shock and joy had passed, and then brought Jane into a hug.

“Congratulations, you guys.”

“Thanks, Tali. Congratulations to you too. I didn’t mean to be stealing all of your attention right now. I’m glad the wedding isn’t for another week still to at least get it out of everyone’s system.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that, Shepard. I’m not a bridezilla, as you humans like to call it.”

“Uh huh,” Garrus said jokingly from the sidelines, which earned him a glare from Tali that everyone could see through her faceplate.

“Okay, so I might be taking this seriously. It’s my real life,  _ Fleet and Flotilla _ ! It’s not like I’m planning on doing this ever again. But this is different, Shepard. You have this amazing news that you’ve probably just been waiting to tell everyone, too. I’m willing to share the attention for this.”

“Well thanks, Tali. Really it’s just Wrex, Bakara, Grunt and Diana left at this point. Do you think I’ll be able to get her to sign another non-disclosure agreement?”

“Ha… only if you send someone else in for her to sign it first. There’s no way she’d agree to it if she saw you like that.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re probably right,” she said, as the cargo bay doors opened to Gabby and Ken.

Gabby ran over to give Tali a hug.

“Oh, Gabby, I missed you so much!” she yelled as she stood to give her a hug.

“Me too. Congratulations, Tali. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks. I guess we’ll be passing the torch onto you guys after this, huh? You’ll have to be the next ones to get married to bring us all back together,” Tali said as the three of them all sat down together.

Gabby smiled at that. “I don’t know. I think if we get married, it would probably end up being something like what Shepard did. There’s just too much to do now, and everyone’s so spread out. I don’t think as many people would cross the galaxy in times like this just for Ken and me.”

“Well, maybe not for Ken,” Tali said.

“Heeey now,” Ken said, standing over by the other men, hand over his heart, as though he were truly wounded.

“Oh, you know I’m just teasing you. Good to see you too, Ken.”

“Yeah, yeah. You too.”

“Nope, I think we’ll all just have to wait until Shepard has her baby to get together again after this,” Gabby said.

“Oh, I’ll definitely be there for that,” Tali said.

“Yeah, and maybe we’ll even be able to get her to stick around the area for a couple months after that,” Shepard said to Gabby, raising her eyebrows.

Tali had no idea what she was trying to hint at, but she could tell it was something.

“And why would you want me to do that?” Tali said looking over to Gabby now.

Gabby couldn’t contain the big grin spreading across her face.

“Because… Shepard’s not the only one having a baby.”

Tali just stared at her for a second before flopping down on the crate the trio were sitting on, covering her face plate with her hands and starting to cry again.

“I think we did it. We actually broke her,” Gabby said.

“Well, congratulations to you both,” Garrus said, shaking both Kaidan and Ken’s hands. “What a time to be alive,” he said with a joyful flicker of his mandibles.

“It sure is,” said Kaidan.

Tali was still sobbing, as everyone else was sharing happy glances at each other. Finally, Shepard looked back down at her.

“Okay, Tali. I’m starting to get worried. I don’t want you to drown in there.”

“It really is some sort of sick joke from nature that quarians have tear ducts,” Tali managed to get out, as she finally sat back up again, bringing both of the other women into a hug.

“I love you guys so much.”

“We love you too, Tali,” Gabby said.

“Alright, we should probably get you guys settled over at our place, shouldn’t we? Everyone else is already there and excited to see you. Bakara seemed to be particularly interested,” Garrus said. Which made Jane wonder if Bakara knew. She would have already been pregnant by the time they last saw each other on Tuchanka. Of course  _ she _ hadn’t known it yet, but Jane almost wouldn’t put it past her. “Plus, it’ll give Tali a chance to get cleaned up again,” Garrus finished.

“That would be good, yes. There aren’t any other surprises that I need to be prepared for, are there?”

“No. Nothing like this anyway,” Shepard said

“What does that mean?”

“Liara and Sam are seeing each other.”

“What?!”

“I know! That’s what I thought too. Liara’s too good at keeping secrets, because apparently it’s been going on since before the war ended. At least to some degree.”

“Whoever would have thought that the  _ Normandy _ would end up being one of the galaxy’s best matchmaking services,” Tali joked.

Everyone laughed at that, realising that the  _ Normandy _ was the only reason any of them had ever even gotten together romantically.

“Wow. I had never even thought of it that way. That’s kind of funny.” Jane said.

“It certainly gives you a different appreciation for it,” Kaidan broke in.

“That it does,” Garrus said. “Anyway, shall we head out? You won’t have to worry about radiation protection. We got a barrier installed over the property. We figured that it would just be easier with how long you all would be staying with us.”

“One of those orange things?” Shepard asked, remembering the glowing domes that were used frequently in locations with dangerously high radiation.

“Yes.”

“Ugh, those things always hurt my eyes.”

“Well it was either that, force you guys to get that radiation protection applied multiple times a day, or force you to wear your armor everywhere,” Garrus said, looking down at Shepard’s abdomen. “Something tells me we probably made the right choice. I doubt you’ll be fitting into any armor anytime soon.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. That was actually really thoughtful of you. Thank you.”

“Not a problem, Shepard. With the amount of our friends needing it, it ended up being the most cost effective solution anyway,” he said as he got up onto the shuttle first, offering his hand to everyone else, helping them up too.

Shepard messaged anyone else that was ready to come join them before they left, and they got a few other stragglers to come join them before they took off. They managed to land the  _ Normandy _ in the same clearing that they had the last time that they were here, making the shuttle ride a short one. Without the radiation protection, they weren’t able to get out of the vehicle unless they were already under the barrier, so Garrus had to fly the shuttle through the entrance. It had 3 doors allowing for safety. The middle one only opening as long as the door on the opposite side you were entering was closed safely.

Shepard couldn’t help but notice how large the dome was. She had never seen one this size for personal use before. Not to mention the large amount of prefabs that had been set up so their guests could stay comfortably.

“How much did this cost you exactly?” she asked Garrus.

Garrus cleared his throat, obviously not wanting to answer.

“Garrus?”

“Let’s just say that the government may have chipped in a lot. This has become a bit more of a high profile wedding than I’d like to admit. Especially because they know that we’ll be hosting such distinguished guests. Victus didn’t want Palaven to be responsible for anything happening to the  _ Normandy _ crew, or other diplomats attending.”

“Uh huh. I’m sure it has nothing to do with how far up the line of succession you are.”

Garrus glared at her somewhat, as the last door finally opened and he went to land the shuttle.

“It may have something to do with that. Plus, the fact that I’m marrying a quarian admiral is apparently symbolism for a more united front considering both of our stature. Not to mention that the leaders of Tuchanka will be in attendance, showing a healing relationship between our people. Not that I don’t want Wrex or Bakara here or anything, I just wished they could be here as friends, you know?... I really hate that they’re politicising my relationship.”

“Now you understand one of the reasons Kaidan and I decided to keep our marriage quiet.”

“Yes, I’m beginning to see the appeal. But Tali wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I’m happy to do this for her.”

Shepard just patted him on the shoulder as they realised everyone else had already gotten out. Garrus got out first, and offered Jane a hand with Kaidan who had waited by the door for her. It was something Garrus never would have even considered, if it weren’t for her current condition. Jane accepted begrudgingly because even though she didn’t like to admit it, her centre of gravity was already shifting, making it more difficult to do the things she used to. The drop from the shuttle was hardly far under normal circumstances, but far enough for her to not want to be jumping down unaided anymore.

As she was set down gently, she looked to see the rest of her old friends waiting to greet her. Wrex did that deep throaty laugh that he does when he’s amused by something. Grunt looked a little bit perturbed or maybe even broody. Even though Bakara’s face was still covered, Jane could see a smile in her eyes.

Wrex was the first one to greet her.

“Good job, Shepard! Think you can catch up? We’ve already got another clutch waiting to hatch.”

“I sincerely doubt that we’d even be able to catch up with your first clutch, Wrex.”

“Ah, come on, you have to at least try to keep up.”

“Easier said than done. It’s not as easy to grow humans,” Shepard said, amused with Wrex’s prodding.

“Heh, well, alright then. You better at least make a couple more. The galaxy needs more Shepards in it.”

“I think I’d rather finish with this one before I start thinking about the next,” Jane said with a laugh. 

“Fair enough.”

“So how’s Tuchanka? Has there been any pushback?”

Wrex let out a grumble. “Almost all of Clan Urdnot is at least in agreement with how I want to run things. Bakara’s good at keeping everyone in line, but it isn’t enough. Seeing the birth of healthy krogan children has created somewhat of an unexpected division among our people.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Half of us want to heed the knowledge of our past, and learn from it for our future, but the other half thinks we deserve reparations for what the salarians and turians put us through for so long. Sometimes it’s hard not to see their logic but that’s when Bakara yells some sense back into me. The truth is they aren’t the only ones responsible for putting us into that position. They’re not blameless, but it’s time we also start taking credit for our own history. Now is the time to be moving forward after all, not backwards.”

“Well, I certainly don’t envy your position, Wrex, but I sure am glad you and Bakara are the ones in power.”

“Heh. Thanks, Shepard. Congratulations.” He said, patting her on the back far more gently than she would have expected. She had even been bracing herself for his typical thud. It was weird that everyone treated her like glass, though she figured she couldn’t really blame anyone.

That’s when Bakara walked over to her.

“Congratulations, Jane.”

“Thank you, Bakara. Something tells me that you already knew about this though,” she said, witnessing Bakara’s eyes light up with her hidden smile again. “How?”

“When you departed Tuchanka, your body was tired, but your soul was contented. I have seen that look many times on women holding their secrets of hope, even if they themselves had not known it yet. I see it on that one too,” Bakara said, pointing to Gabby. Shepard gave a knowing smile of confirmation. “Just as I can see the look of heartbreak in that one,” she said, now pointing to Miranda.

Jane just nodded, knowing that Bakara had been provided a lifetime of knowledge and hardships. It was easy to imagine that she would have known the signs of all that life had to offer.

“Holding and nurturing new life is a privilege. One we gratefully bear the burden of, especially after times of loss. It is easy to see those who have been gifted with it, as well as those who have been touched by its despair. You are a strong woman, Jane. Together we will provide our children with a bright future.”

“We will. I’m glad you’ll be a part of it,” Jane said, offering her a sincere smile.

That’s when Jane looked over to Wrex and Grunt. Grunt still seemed to be upset, and Wrex looked like he was lecturing him about something. Bakara could see that Jane looked worried about it.

“Do not worry about him. I think Grunt is still trying to find his place. He is a child of many now, but he still largely considers you to be among his first parents. He is still young and immature, and I think this news is likely just shocking for him.”

“He’s important to me. I guess I just didn’t expect him to have this kind of reaction. I should probably go talk to him, shouldn’t I?”

“That would probably be wise,” Bakara said.

Jane walked over to stand beside Grunt, and Wrex took that as a signal to leave them alone, but not before giving Grunt a very stern look.

“Grunt?”

“What?” he said somewhat grumpily.

“Are you okay?”

He didn’t say anything, just looked at her, and then looked back towards the view in front of him.

“Are you jealous?” Jane tried to ask as gently as possible, not wanting to treat it like she was teasing him.

“No,” he huffed out.

“Grunt. If this is a little upsetting for you, I can understand that. Just talk to me.”

He offered her another perturbed look before he again avoided her gaze. Then he let out a big sigh.

“You’re my battlemaster, and now you’re going to become weak and squishy all for this tiny human.”

Jane smiled at his logic. It was rather childish. She had always kind of considered him to be the closest thing she had to a child before now, but their relationship wasn’t exactly that simple.

“Do you think Bakara is weak and squishy?”

He looked back to Bakara, and then finally started looking Shepard in the eyes. “No.”

“She’s one of the strongest Krogans I know. I don’t plan to let this change me, Grunt. Just like it hasn’t changed Bakara. But that’s not really what this is about is it?”

Grunt avoided her gaze again.

“Do you feel like this baby is somehow going to replace you?”

Now he just looked at the dirt, expecting disappointment from his battlemaster, and confirming Jane’s suspicions.

“Grunt,” she said, as she grabbed onto his hand to get him to look at her. “You will always be special to me and an important part of my life. I will always be your battlemaster, and no one else’s. You don’t have to worry about being replaced.”

“Mmmm,” he grumbled out, acknowledging that he knew she was right, but he was still clearly upset.

“Besides, this baby’s going to need a Krantt of its own, you know. It’s already a very high profile baby, and won’t be able to protect itself for some time. I’m going to need you now more than ever.”

“Mmmm,” he said again, though this time it was invigorated, having found new purpose. “Yes. I will be your baby’s Krantt. This is good.”

“Thanks Grunt,” She said, giving him a proud smile. “I love you.”

“Heh,” was all he said as he walked off in a much better mood than he had greeted them with.

“See. You are already a fantastic parent,” Bakara said from behind her. Jane gave her a smile of appreciation, as she noticed Diana finally walking over to her, seeing that she was free now.

“Hello, Allers.”

“Admiral.”

“No camera’s today?”

“I wasn’t planning on needing one. I guess I should have known better.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s too late to get you to sign a non-disclosure agreement, huh?”

“Technically, yes,” Diana said with a smile. “But, I can understand your want for privacy right now. I’ll give you my word that I won’t be the one to let this out. At least as long as you’re not in any important footage for the wedding that is. I’ll try to get as many shots as I can from the chest up if they involve you.”

“Thank you, Diana. I have to say, you’re one of the only ones that’s ever tested my theories about reporters. You’ve always proven to be respectable.”

“Thank you for saying so. Honestly, you’ve been good to me too. You know what they say. Never piss off a good source.”

Shepard laughed and nodded her head. “Of course.”

“Speaking of which though, I wouldn’t say no to an exclusive about your news whenever you’re ready to announce.”

“Alright, Allers. That’s a deal.”

“Thank you, Admiral. Congratulations by the way. You and the General will definitely make one cute baby. I wouldn’t say no to an exclusive after the birth either.”

Jane just shook her head with a smirk. “Don’t push your luck, Allers.”

“Alright. I know when I’ve overdone the sweet-talking. I’ll let you get settled now. It really is good to see you though.”

“You too, Diana.”

Jane looked over at all of her friends catching up. This was going to be a fun reunion, and she looked forward to celebrating it all with her friends. The relays couldn’t be fixed soon enough so they wouldn’t need an excuse to see each other like this again.


	35. A Normandy Wedding

The last few days on Palaven had been amazing. Even though Jane was still technically working throughout this whole trip, spending time with her friends was revitalizing. Almost everyone had been helping Garrus and Tali where they could, to do any last minute preparations.

Tali had been adamant about the only thing that she didn’t want any help with was what she was going to wear. She had promised a lot, saying that no one there would have ever seen anything like it before, and that she wanted to surprise all of them, much like how the bride usually wanted to surprise the husband.

Jane couldn’t really relate, because she had never been one to be showy, but she was glad that her friend was having such a good time with it all. She couldn’t help but think that it would have driven her mad had she decided to do something similar, but this was the happiest that Jane had ever seen Tali before, and it was heartwarming.

Today was finally the day that they had all been waiting for, and Jane couldn’t wait to see her friends get married. They had opted to have an outdoor wedding on the Vakarian property. It was gorgeous, even if everything had been tempered by a slightly insidious orange glow. Allers assured them that she could fix the discolouration in post, so at least their footage would be a lot nicer than the real thing.

Tali had even said that she had taken a lot of inspiration from traditional human ceremonies since she found those to be among the most romantic bonding ceremonies. She had gotten fancy white seating and set it up in the field to all point towards a nice wooden arch that Garrus had built for them.

One human tradition they had decided not to follow was to have bridesmaids and groomsmen, because they both simply had too many friends that they didn’t want to offend anyone, so Garrus was currently standing alone with the officiant as they waited for Tali to start walking down the aisle.

Jane had been sitting in the front seat on Tali’s side, with Kaidan, Gabby, Ken and Admiral Raan. Admiral Raan had been among the half of the quarians that had decided not to go back to Rannoch. As a collective fleet, they had decided to separate, leaving half of their fleet to try to repair the relays as quickly as possible, but sending the other half back to Rannoch should the plan to fix the relays fail. At least that way they would have a contingency plan in place to settle Rannoch again.

Even if it took the one group 20 years to return to their homeworld, it wouldn’t have mattered much thanks to their fleet being self sufficient. The only downside was being separated for so long from the other half, but they were all hopeful that it would be moot anyway. If they managed to fix the comm buoys and relays before the 20 year journey was complete, they would be able to get in contact with them and be joined together again anyway, so they were really just the backup plan.

Jane was glad for that at least, so Raan could be there for Tali. She was the closest thing that Tali had to any real family, though she figured the  _ Normandy _ crew had quickly taken that place for her as well. It was still nice to have someone from her past, especially since neither of her parents could be here for this.

Jane was also glad to see Castis and Solana beaming with pride across the aisle from her. They looked just as excited to see Tali walk down that aisle as anyone else, and she was happy that Tali had been so readily accepted into Garrus’ family. After having met them for herself, she wouldn’t have expected anything less though. That didn’t change the fact that Jane just couldn’t help but feel a little protective over her, which was the only reason she worried as much as she did. She quickly realised that she didn’t need to though, because Tali had truly found a new family that accepted her fully.

That’s when they heard the shuttle that Tali was in, come to drop her off at the end of the aisle. She had wanted to do it that way so that her surprise wouldn’t be given away. The driver and another usher, opened the door, and offered their hands to help her out.

Tali was entirely out of her suit. Everyone gasped at the site, being the thing that they had all least expected. Jane had already seen Tali’s face once before on Rannoch, but this time it was showing nothing but elation. She was beautiful.

She had long dark hair, going to just above the middle of her back. Jane wondered how she managed to deal with that in her suit. Most of her hair was let down showing off its natural waviness, while two small braids had been pulled back to keep the rest of her hair out of her face.

If Jane had to guess, she didn’t think Tali was wearing any makeup. She doubted that Tali would have even known how, but it didn’t matter. She didn’t need it. Her skin was a pale, slightly translucent grey, with only a tinge of purple coming through. Her eyes were bright and lively. Her dress was modest and tasteful, but she had clearly been eager to show off some skin, having chosen a strapless, knee length, A-line white dress. It suited her well.

She walked down the aisle slowly, absolutely radiant and proud of however she had managed to accomplish such a thing.

Garrus had been the only one that hadn’t looked very surprised. Of course he would have been a co-conspirator in this. Though, if Jane had to venture a guess, she figured it probably was at least the first time that he was seeing her in the dress, because emotion had clearly overtaken him at least a little bit.

As Tali finally reached the altar, everyone could see that they only had eyes for each other. They held each others’ hands and made vows to their futures, and couldn’t have cared about anything else in that moment.

A lot of people cried, and for once that included Jane. It had started to be a normal occurrence for her thanks to the hormones, but this still would have been the first time in public, and she was clearly berating herself for it.

After they had finally finished with the ceremony, Diana had taken the newlyweds to get pictures and record a small segment, while everyone else was taken over to the reception area. They had set up an extravagant white tent, with hard flooring and music drones spaced throughout, playing lively and fun music. There were snacks and drinks set out for everyone as they waited for the guests of honour to arrive back after Diana was finished with them.

It had probably taken about two hours for Tali and Garrus to come back. Jane was disappointed to see that Tali had changed into her fancier enviro-suit, but she was still eager to find out exactly how she had managed to pull that off in the first place.

Jane patiently awaited her turn for Tali to be available before berating her with questions.

“Congratulations, Tali,” Jane said, pulling her into a hug. “You looked beautiful.”

“Thank you, Shepard.”

“So, are you going to tell me how you managed to pull that off, or am I going to have to guess?”

“I’m afraid it’s all a bit complicated to really get into all the details, but it’s something I’ve been working on for months now. Since we were stranded on Sur’Kesh actually. Do you remember how the geth had adapted themselves into our suits to help us start growing natural immunities?”

“Yes. It was fascinating.”

“It was, but after we crash landed I realised that they had stopped working. Obviously, later we figured out why, but the entire time it had gotten me thinking that we could use similar technologies to do that for ourselves. We didn’t need the geth to jump start our immune systems. I’ve been developing this VI programming to simulate what the geth were doing, and I’ve been working with a biologist that I became friends with on Sur’Kesh. They’ve been helping me go over all the code and incorporate how to let small amounts of specific contaminants into my suit through a port and filter I built to allow me to build a tolerance.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. Why aren’t you still wearing your dress then?”

“Well, it’s still new technology, Shepard. I’ve been able to grow my tolerance to the contaminants on Palaven, but all of you brought your own new things that I’m going to have to fight off. I was only able to do that during the ceremony because I knew I wouldn’t be touching any of you. It still wasn’t enough to protect me from everything though. I already feel like I’m getting sick, which I expected. It was totally worth it to see the looks on all of your faces though.”

“I was almost afraid that you were hyping it up too much, but you certainly still managed to surprise me. That’s quite an accomplishment though, Tali. Not to mention that it’ll be fantastic for the rest of your people.”

“Well, it still has a long way to go. Anytime we’re introduced into a new environment, or anytime we’re around a new person, we’ll still have to wear our suits until we’ve adapted. But it’s a good start. Raan and her team have been helping me too though, and if we can make a few changes we might be able to help streamline it. That way we won’t have to wait until we’re actually in range of new circumstances to start building new immunities. It’s a first step, but it’s still something that would be faster than waiting for it to happen naturally on Rannoch.”

“I can’t wait to see the improvements you make with it then. I’m so proud of you, Tali,” She said, with a final hug, signalling for her to go mingle with her other guests.

The rest of the evening went off smoothly, with a few people giving speeches, namely Castis, Solana, Raan, Jane, and of course one from Garrus to Tali, where she had cursed about crying in her enviro-suit once again. They all sat down to a very fancily prepared dinner by some of Palavens top chefs trained in Levo food preparation.

After most people were finished with their food, someone programmed the music drones to start playing something more upbeat to encourage people to go dance. Jane never liked to miss an opportunity to make her friends laugh, so she went out to the dance floor without needing much encouragement, and let loose. She even had to admit that sometimes it was freeing to just be careless for once. Maybe that’s why she enjoyed dancing even with how horrible she was at it.

Even though that was fun, it wasn’t as easy for her to stay on her feet that long these days, especially when she was in heels, so for most of the rest of the evening she went around catching up with more people. Mostly Wrex, Bakara, Castis and Solana since she knew she wouldn’t be seeing them again as easily. In the last week that they had been staying there, she had even grown close to Solana, developing a friendship of her own.

Garrus and Tali had to leave a bit on the earlier side because Tali was slowly starting to feel worse and worse thanks to going suitless earlier in the day, or at least that was the excuse that they were going with.

Soon after they left, the music had slowed down, trying to taper off the evening with slow dancing. This was the type of dancing that Jane really enjoyed, because it was hard to look like a complete idiot, and it was a chance for her to spend some time with Kaidan and feel close to him, so she went back and joined him after having rested her feet for a bit.

Somewhere in the middle of the second song, Diana had interrupted everyone trying to get their attention. As Jane turned her head to see what was going on, she saw Diana turning off the music drones and plugging in her own feed to one of them to make herself louder so people could hear.

“Excuse me! Sorry everyone, can I get your attention please?”

She waited until people started to quiet down and look over her way.

“I’m really sorry to have to interrupt everyone’s evening, but I got a message from my publisher. There’s just been a large scale attack in the Asgard system. He doesn’t have many details yet, but he seems to think the Alliance was at least one of the targets.”

Kaidan turned to look at Jane worriedly. “The Asgard system. Terra Nova?”

“Maybe,” Jane said, returning his same worried look.

“Isn’t your mom there right now?”

She didn’t even have time to respond before her omni-tool pinged. She looked down, and then looked at Kaidan worriedly again before answering.

“Hello?” Jane asked, tentatively.

“Jane? Sweetie, is that you?” Jane could hear something that sounded like explosions in the background.

“Mom?”

“Yes. Jane, I don’t want you to panic, but the  _ Orizaba _ is under attack right now.”

“I just heard. Mom, what’s going on? Are you going to be okay?”

“I honestly don’t know what’s going on yet. It seemed to have come from nowhere. You know that I’ve never been one for sugar coating things. I’m really not sure if I’ll be getting out of this one. It’s bad. The ship’s already been infiltrated, and they’re still bombarding us from the outside. They’re being relentless. I had to stay in the cockpit to be able to evacuate far enough away to safely launch the escape pods.”

“Mom?” Jane asked, her voice threatening to crack. All of her friends and other guests were quietly watching the conversation unfold.

“Hang on, Jane. Let me get this out. I’m not sure how much time I have. You should know, Ada’s gotten out. She’s safe. She just sent me a message that they’ve already landed on Terra Nova.”

“Mom, what are you trying to say?”

“I think you know what I’m trying to say, Jane. I’m so sorry it has to be this way, but I need you to know…,” her mother said, her own voice starting to waiver. Something Jane was barely ever privy to. Hannah was always the picture of strength at least for her daughter. “I need you to know, that I love you very much. You have been the light of my life. You’ve made me so proud in everything that you’ve done. I know this probably isn’t the most comforting thing to know, but if I die, I need you to know that I’ve enjoyed my life. I don’t have many regrets. I don’t want you to be sad for me. The only thing that I haven’t seen is a baby from you. I wish I could meet my grandchild,” she said, clearly crying now.

Throughout their conversation, the background noises had been steadily increasing until finally there was a really loud grinding noise sounding like the door being forced open.

“There she is! That’s Admiral Shepard. Get her!” Jane and all of her onlookers could hear from the other end. It came from a deep, gruff voice.

“Get down, Ma’am!” came a human male’s voice.

“Like, fucking hell!” Hannah yelled, as they heard shots go off before the line went dead.

Jane just stood there, looking at where her omni-tool display had been, not moving for a minute, before finally relinquishing her arm back to her side. She didn’t cry, she didn’t scream. She was numb. It took her another minute to finally pick her head up and look at the silent, expectant faces looking like they were waiting for her to figure out what to do.

Jane had almost always felt strong and confidant. She wasn’t perfect though, despite what some people liked to think of her. She had her fair share of instances of confusion or doubt. But this was the first time that she had ever felt helpless.


	36. A Good Captain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole title for this chapter is "A Good Captain is Not Made From Calm Seas," but I didn't want to add it, feeling like it might be too spoilery for people looking in the chapter index.

Jane still hadn’t moved or said anything after minutes of silence. Kaidan was probably more concerned for her right now than most other times before. He would have preferred her to be angry, or upset because he at least knew how to deal with that, or it could be motivation for action. He had never seen her petrified before, and it was unnerving.

He had even put his hand on her shoulder, trying to coax her to look at him, but she had no reaction. It was as though he may as well have not even touched her at all.

“Maybe we should get her back to the _Normandy,_ ” Liara finally said.

“Yeah, I think that would be a good idea,” Kaidan said. “Jane?”

“Hmm?” she said, finally looking at her.

“We’re going to take you to the _Normandy_ now.”

“Okay,” she said, as she started moving with Kaidan’s guidance, as though she were in a trance.

“I’ll shuttle you guys over there,” Steve said, as the rest of her crew followed behind them.

It was like Jane wasn’t even capable of being aware of her surroundings, replaying the conversation with her mother over and over again in her head. She got flashes of reality here and there. Sitting in the shuttle, barely knowing how she got there. Kaidan helping her get dressed into her pajamas in the bathroom, and helping her go lie down. Talking coming from the upper level, but it was all garbled like she was hearing it through a thin wall.

 _“Like fucking hell!”_ \- Hannah would put up a fight until her last breath. Still the picture of strength even when faced with death.

 _“I’ve enjoyed my life…. I don’t want you to feel sad for me.”_ \- Even in the end, all Hannah cared about was trying to make sure that Jane could find comfort in knowing that her mother had a fulfilling life.

 _“I wish I could meet my grandchild.”_ \- That was enough to finally start bringing her out of her stupor. The baby almost knowing that its mother needed to be comforted, starting to kick and prod from the inside. Jane ran her hand over her stomach, appreciating the affirmation of life that her child was providing.

 _“Like fucking hell!”_ she heard again - Her mother fought until the very end. Jane would too. It was her turn to be the role model. She would grant herself whatever time had passed to be numb, and not feel guilty about her hopelessness, but now was her turn to be the picture of strength. She didn’t have to go in guns blazing. She would still be allowed to cry or feel however she was going to feel, but she had to do something. She couldn’t just sit there being next to comatose. She had wasted enough of her life to sleep. To feel pain was better than to feel nothing.

“Like fucking hell,” Jane muttered out loud as she sat up again.

The people in the upper level of the loft all looked over to her now.

“Jane?” Kaidan said, looking concerned, as he walked over to her, and kneeled on the floor in front of her.

“I think I’ve wallowed enough. My mother wouldn’t have been sitting idly by at a time like this.”

“Jane, you’re allowed to not be okay, you know.”

“I know. I wouldn’t say that I’m okay, just --,” she said, being cut off by her omni-tool. She looked at Kaidan, wondering what else could have gone wrong.

“Hello?” Jane answered, firmly.

“Jane? This is Steven. Have you heard anything about what’s happened?”

“The _Orizaba_ was attacked, I’ve heard.”

“No, I mean we’ve got word on your mother.”

“What?” She said, hopefully.

“She’s alive, Jane.”

Jane let out a sob, barely able to contain her elation. With how the call with her mother had been cut off, and not hearing anything since, she never would have expected things to have ended well.

“She’s been shot, and she’s lost a lot of blood, but they’re treating her at the Alliance hospital on Terra Nova right now. She was in critical condition when they brought her in, but for now she’s alive at least.”

Jane hated herself for not being able to stop the sobbing, if only because it was making it hard to hear Hackett’s update, but at least it was a sob of relief and not one of mourning.

Kaidan knew that she was in no state to talk at the moment, so he took over the call.

“Do you know what happened, sir?”

“Not yet. We’re sending an investigative unit to try to figure things out, but I’m not sure how much they’ll be able to find. The _Orizaba’s_ been destroyed.”

“So how do you even know Hannah’s okay?”

“Her security detail had stayed behind with her, I’ve gotten a small debrief from one of them. They’re the ones that got her out. Apparently with the three of them together, they managed to put up a good fight, but there were a lot of attackers. Eventually one of her security members was shot and killed, leaving an opening which is when Hannah was shot. It was just a shot to the shoulder though, which is the only reason she’s alive right now. She managed to shoot and kill a few more assailants before finally collapsing, which is when her other guard took her and made a run for it for the last escape pod. They barely managed to get out, but they did, only to see the _Orizaba_ explode as they were entering Terra Nova’s atmosphere. Luckily he was able to get some medi-gel onto the wound before she bled out, and called a med-evac team to their landing site immediately. She’s been in surgery for about an hour.”

“Goddess,” they all heard Liara say from the upper level.

“Listen, Shepard. Your mother’s a strong woman. I have every reason to believe she’ll pull through this. I wish more than anything that I could go there right now, but I have to stay here on Earth and try to figure this mess out. I’m more than willing to grant you extra time if you wanted to go to Terra Nova before heading back to the Citadel. I want you to transfer Hannah back there with you for the time being when she’s stable.”

Jane had finally started to calm down throughout Hackett’s explanations. She looked over to Liara for confirmation. The _Normandy_ was her ship now after all.

“I’ve already received orders from the council allowing the MWII to investigate as well, with special orders for Kaidan to investigate as a Spectre if he sees fit. We can leave tomorrow,” Liara said.

“Okay, Hackett. We’ll be off to Terra Nova as soon as possible. Keep me updated if anything changes please.”

“Of course, Shepard. Oh, and I’ve got word on Ada as well. She’s shaken up, but other than that, she’s fine. Your mother’s one hell of a woman, Jane. She managed to pull that off with only one casualty. I think it’s safe to say that I can see where you get it from.”

“Thanks, Hackett. She’s definitely a force to be reckoned with.”

“Indeed. Oh, and Shepard, just remember that even though I’m allowing you to go out there, you’re still off of active duty for multiple reasons now. I don’t want you to go anywhere expecting a fight, do you hear me?”

“Of course not, Hackett. I’m not exactly willing to be taking unnecessary risks right now either.”

“Good to hear it. Try to get some rest if you can. I’ll keep you posted. Hackett out.”

Jane hung up the call, glad for at least having a shred of hope.

“We’ll let you try to get some sleep. Please let me know if you need anything,” Liara said, while ushering everyone else out of the cabin.

“Thanks, Liara. We will,” Kaidan said.

Jane watched everyone as they exited, as Kaidan watched her. There was consolation in seeing her in any state other than catatonic. He still hated that any of this even happened, especially during a time in their lives that should have been among the happiest.

Kaidan went to lie down on his side of the bed, and pulled her down to lie against him, securing themselves comfortably under the blankets. He hugged her to him tightly, offering what comfort he could.

“Are you okay.”

“Yeah. I think so. I’m not really sure what came over me.”

“You thought you heard your mother die. That shouldn’t be easy on anyone. Not even you.”

“No. Maybe not. I’m still glad she called though. It was important to have that for both our sakes if the worst still happens.”

“Don’t think like that right now, Jane. You have to have hope still.”

“I know. You’re right. I’m just trying to prepare myself for the possibility.”

Kaidan couldn’t really say anything to that. Hannah’s life was still hanging in the balance after all. It wasn’t necessarily the worst thing to do. He just didn’t want Jane to dwell on anything bad before she really had to.

Jane moved Kaidan’s hand lower to feel the baby shifting around. He had quickly come to realise that he had been a little preemptive in how upset he was about not feeling the baby move, because of course their child had proven to be quite active already. He had been able to feel it most nights in the last week.

“Such a metaphor,” Jane said.

“Hmm?”

“That life will prevail. Even in the midst of death, there is always life,” she said, feeling their child move.

Kaidan just kissed her shoulder, not being able to help himself from seeing the parallels, even if Hannah was okay.

“I’ve been playing that call with my mother over and over in my head ever since it was disconnected. There’s just something about it that doesn’t sit right with me.”

“What?” Kaidan asked. As far as he was concerned there was plenty that was said that could apply to that.

“The way the attacker was yelling after getting in. He yelled for Admiral Shepard. What if they were looking for me?”

“You really think they could have been that disorganized?”

“Why not? It’s not like every attack in history has been well thought out. They were clearly willing to blow up a ship full of their own people on board. It sounds purposeful, but not smart.”

“It’s certainly a theory,” Kaidan said. “And I think it’s one that might be at least worth mentioning to Hackett in the morning.”

Jane just nodded. Kaidan was glad to see that she hadn’t been as catatonic as he may have thought. She had been processing that entire time, just in a way that was entirely different than she had ever done before. It was still disconcerting, and he’d rather not have to ever see her like that again, but at least he knew that she was still in there, strong as ever.

Jane let out a sad huff.

“What’s the matter?”

“What if I’ve endangered our child, just because of who I am.”

“Jane, you can’t be thinking like that. This isn’t your fault.”

“You’re right. I know. But if something ever happens to her because someone wants to go after me, I don’t think I could ever forgive myself. If I end up being right about this, it’s going to be hard enough to forgive myself with what happened to my mother.”

“Well then I’ll just have to keep saying it until you believe it yourself. This was not your fault.”

Jane just nodded silently, hoping that Kaidan’s words would sink in. Rationally she knew that she wasn’t the one who attacked her mother, but in a lot of ways she felt like she may as well have been responsible for it thanks to the stigma that came with her name.

For now, his words and his warmth would have to be comfort enough. The day had been an exhausting one. One that should have ended on a happy note, but instead ended in turmoil. She willed herself to sleep if for no other reason than to just be done with this day. For the first time in a while her sleep was fitful and filled with nightmares and cold sweats. She had thought she had put this part of her life behind her at least for the most part, but of course, that had been easier said than done.

As she woke in the morning, still tired and weary, she was determined to leave as soon as possible. She would help in preparations, and do what she could if it meant for an earlier departure.

As she made her way down to the loading bay, looking worse for wear, she saw Garrus and Tali with bags of their own. Tali came running over to her, and gave her a tight hug.

“Someone woke us early this morning to let us know what happened. I’m so sorry, Shepard.”

“I’m okay, Tali. But thanks. I’m sorry your special time had to be ruined.”

“It wasn’t ruined. We had our special day, and now we’re here to help you, okay. Don’t feel bad about that.”

“You’re coming with us?” Jane asked as Garrus walked up behind them, putting his arm over his new wife.

“Of course, Shepard,” Garrus said. “You’ve always been there for us in our time of need. Besides, Hannah’s kind of become a mother to all of us in her own way. We want to be there for her too.”

“Not to mention that the MWII’s been called in. Garrus and I have decided to take a more active role for now until we figure out what’s going on.”

“Thank you,” Jane said, giving Garrus a hug too.

Liara walked up to the group from behind, and laid a hand on Jane’s shoulder gently.

“Wrex and Bakara wanted to extend their sympathies. They left for Tuchanka last night shortly after your call with Hackett. They wanted to make sure that they could maintain order on Tuchanka after news of the attack. Wrex said he wished he could come with us, but with the political climate for the krogan being so questionable at the moment, he doesn’t want to lose power now of all times.”

Jane nodded in acknowledgement. She would miss him, but that really was the smart choice.

“With Garrus and Tali here, I think we’ve officially gotten everything we need now. Take off is in 30 minutes.”


	37. Mother's Intuition

The  _ Normandy _ had finally just landed on Terra Nova. It had possibly been the longest three weeks of Jane’s life, because she hadn’t been able to do much of anything. She had been fed plenty of Admiral reports about the incident, and she was being kept up to date, but there just hadn’t been anything for her to actually do. She had never really felt stir-crazy on a ship until then.

They had managed to get in contact with Ada before leaving Palaven. She had definitely been shaken up. She had admitted to Kaidan that she didn’t think she could be on a military ship anymore, as much as she had enjoyed spending time with Hannah. There was a reason she hadn’t followed her husband into war while he had been serving, and she had been ever so unpleasantly reminded of that fact as their ship had been under attack. She had stated how grateful she was that Hannah was good at her job, because without her organization and command, Ada wasn’t sure if she would have been able to make it out alive.

Kaidan had already talked to Chakwas to see about helping her get a job at Huerta. That way she could still be close to them when they got back to the Citadel, and she’d be able to keep being a nurse. That was something that Ada had found enjoyment in again, and Kaidan didn’t want her to have to stop just because she wasn’t going to be on an Alliance ship anymore. 

Chakwas had reminded them that the Citadel would be open to the public by the time they got back, in which case, she was sure there would be a high demand for someone of Ada’s qualifications. Karin had already put in the order to her higher ups, and wasn’t surprised to see the transfer accepted within the day.

It made Kaidan and Jane really happy to know that she could be close to them on the Citadel. Kaidan knew that his mother could hold her own, but he still worried about her.

Hackett had also been keeping them updated about Hannah’s condition. A day after their initial phone call, he had given them the progress report from her surgery. They had managed to start repairing the damage, and completely stop the bleeding. Her condition had already moved from critical to stable, though she had still been unconscious.

After a week, Hackett had managed to get in contact with them again via the QEC to say that Hannah had been conscious for a while and even moving around. Jane was upset that they would constantly be at FTL speeds until reaching Terra Nova because that meant she wouldn’t be able to contact her mother to hear her voice for herself, thanks to the hospital there not readily having their own QEC for her to use easily. At least it meant that she would get to see her as soon as possible, which was the only reason it was bearable.

And now was finally that time. Kaidan and Jane had met up with Ada first, and caught up briefly. Ada had already seemed to have been in much higher spirits than their last conversation, having had three weeks to calm down from the events, and especially now that she was able to see how much Jane had changed in the last 12 weeks since they had seen each other.

Kaidan had decided to stay behind with Ada to give Jane some time alone with her mother. She was currently standing outside of Hannah’s hospital room, almost having a hard time believing that she was actually there. She knew Hackett and even Ada had confirmed her mother’s status, but with their last interaction being so despairing, she had needed some real validation for herself. Seeing her mother now had provided the solace that she had desperately needed.

She quietly walked into Hannah’s room, trying not to disturb her. It was shocking how well she looked. With how they had talked about her condition she had been expecting her to need more time to recover, but she almost looked unchanged since the last time she had seen her.

She knew that her mother was trying to get rest, but Jane felt the overwhelming need to be held by her. It was an odd thing to feel like the little girl she barely remembered being when in the presence of her mother in times of need.

Jane knew that sharing beds with patients was usually something that would earn you a yelling at by the well-meaning nurses. Usually for good reason, especially remembering that one time she was caught when she had tried to sneak into Kaidan’s bed after they had talked some things through while he was at Huerta. But this was different. Jane had almost been sure that she had lost her mother, and she needed that contact.

She gently climbed into the bed and huddled up against Hannah’s back, for now just appreciating the breaths that she was taking, and the warmth that she was giving off. She didn’t plan on waking her, though it seemed that Jane had been crying without realising it, which had roused Hannah from her sleep anyway.

Hannah turned over slowly to see who had invaded her bed.

“Jane?” she said as she was greeted by quiet sobbing. “Oh, Jane. Come here,” she said completely turning over now, bringing Jane into as much of a hug as she possibly could in the bed. Her range of motion was clearly worse than someone under normal conditions, but not as bad as Jane would have guessed for it to be.

“I’m so sorry, mom.”

Hannah just held Jane’s head to her chest, shushing her, while gently pulling the hair from her face.

“Steven told me about your little theory, you know. Even if you’re right, this wasn’t your fault, Jane,” Hannah said, still holding her daughter, waiting for her to calm down.

As her sobs began to quiet, Hannah released her hold a bit to examine how Jane’s body had begun to alter, as she had noticed the growth getting in the way of their hug.

“My goodness, look how much you’ve changed.”

Jane let out a watery laugh, as she looked down at herself too. “Well it has almost been 3 months since we’ve seen each other,” she said, while taking her mother’s hand and placing it on her stomach. “Here. You should meet your grandchild.”

Hannah’s features softened as she felt the life beneath her hand.

“Now I feel kind of silly for calling you so emotionally like that during the attack,” Hannah said, understanding that Jane was doing this now thanks to the last thing that she had said during that conversation.

“Don’t be,” Jane said seriously. “If the worst really had come to pass, I would have appreciated having that last conversation with you. You were lucky to have had the chance. I wish I would have had as much opportunity when it was the  _ Normandy _ .”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Sorry. I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, sweetie,” she said, caressing her daughter’s face with her free hand. “My goodness, you certainly have a lively little one in there, don’t you?”

“So everyone keeps saying.”

“How do you manage to get any sleep?”

“It tends to be easy when she’s sucking all of the energy out of me.”

“She?” Hannah asked, intrigued.

“Oh, no, we still don’t know. I’ve just been saying she. You could say, I have a feeling.”

“Already developing that mother’s intuition I see.”

Jane just hummed in amusement.

“I think it’s a girl too. Maybe I just feel that way because I had a girl though, so who knows.”

Jane just smiled at the thought.

“You know… sometimes I can still feel you,” Hannah said.

Jane looked at her questioningly.

“Well, obviously not literally. Phantom movements after pregnancy. 33 years later, and I still get them sometimes.”

“Phantom movements?”

“That’s what they call it at least. From my understanding it’s not really that simple. There are a lot of possible explanations. Muscle memory, or just being more aware of what’s going on inside of your body after pregnancy. I don’t really care about the scientific explanations though or what it really is. It feels just like how it did when you would move. It’s been my way of carrying you with me wherever I go in life. Through whatever’s separated us.”

They shared a comfortable moment of silence as Hannah relinquished her hand and moved to lie on her back.

“Ah, you’re in the best part now. You’re probably not sick anymore. You’re not big enough yet to be in agonizing discomfort and peeing yourself with every little sneeze or cough. You’re at the part where you’re finally feeling that proof of how your life is about to change. I still remember it so clearly. And if you’re anything like I was, you probably have Kaidan at your beck and call these days.”

“Gods mom, why does it always go back to sex with you?”

“What? Am I wrong?” Hannah asked, amused.

Jane cleared her throat as she looked up at the ceiling, with a big shit-eating grin on her face. “You’re not wrong.”

“See. Besides, I can’t pass up an opportunity to tease my daughter,” She said, patting Jane’s hand as a form of apology. “Take advantage of it while you can, though. Just like sleep, your time alone with him will be harder to come by with a small child around.”

“Ugh,” Jane groaned.

“Oh, it won’t be so bad. You’ll find the time for it. It will just come with a lot more interruptions, and the potential to have your child walk in on you.”

“Oh my god. You are not insinuating that I did that.”

“Oh, I most certainly am. You were three years old and we learned pretty damn quickly to lock the doors after that. I’m glad it seems like you don’t remember.”

“I’m upset that you made me relive it anyway.”

“Just trying to let you learn from my mistakes, dear.”

“Mhmm,” Jane said, with snark tainting her voice.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah,” Jane said. She really was. Just knowing that her mother was okay was everything.

“So, does that mean we can get out of here already? I’ve been going stir-crazy.”

“Hackett said we can take you whenever you’re cleared to leave.”

“Great, let’s go then.”

“Are you serious? You can’t be fully recovered yet.”

“No, but they’ve had me on a regimen to help me heal faster. My shoulder’s almost better. Not quite 100%, and I’ll need physical therapy. Nothing like what you had to go through, but just a few exercises until I get full range of motion back. Aside from that, they said that as long as I can be monitored by a doctor, I’m free to leave. Hackett already informed me that you have 2 on board, not to mention Ada will be there. I think that’s more than sufficient.”

“Wow. I can’t believe you’re actually practically fine after all that.”

“Something for which I’m grateful.”

“No doubt. Okay, well we can find a doctor to get you discharged, but Liara said we’re docked here for a few days at least. She wasn’t expecting you to be ready this quickly. The team’s trying to do their own investigation before moving out.”

“Ah. Well that’s good. I’m not sure how much you’ve managed to stay in contact with Steven, but there’s been another attack resembling the one on the  _ Orizaba _ already.”

“I hadn’t heard. Was this one recent?”

“Yes. Just yesterday.”

“I guess that would be why. There probably wasn’t enough details about it yet.”

“No, I suppose not. This one was on a small portion of the Charon Relay repair fleet.”

“Hmm. Does that really fit though? What does that have in common with the  _ Orizaba _ ?”

“That, I don’t know. Not yet at least. All I know is that the characteristics of the attack were the same. Sloppy, with no care for loss of life of their own units.”

“No information about who attacked? Ships? Any known markers? Anything?”

“I’m not sure, sweetie. Steven’s only been giving me the basic intel for now. He wanted me to focus on getting better. He said he’d come up to the Citadel for an official debrief once we return. If he knew anything that would affect our safety, I’m sure he wouldn’t have waited.”

“Okay. I guess that’ll just have to do for now.”

That’s when Hannah decided she had had enough of the hospital bed, and got up to pack her bag.

“So just how much have you been talking to Hackett?”

Hannah just gave her a raised eyebrow as a warning for going down that line of questioning.

“What? It sounds like it’s getting kind of serious. Am I wrong?”

This time, it was Hannah’s turn to huff at her daughter’s incessant questioning about her personal life. “What gave it away?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you’ve only referred to him by his first name since I’ve seen you now. Plus, I saw the way you two acted around each other before you left the Citadel last time. It looked like he made you happy.”

Hannah stopped what she was doing then, to look her daughter in the eye. She was surprised that her daughter had been paying that much attention, though she probably shouldn’t have been.

“He does make me happy,” Hannah said seriously.

“Good. I’m glad you listened to me and gave him a chance,” Jane said, teasing her mother now.

“Uh huh,” Hannah scoffed.

“So, just how good are you feeling exactly?”

“Why?”

“I need some new clothes. I’m glad I ended up bringing at least some maternity clothes, because this kid is growing like crazy now, but we’ve already been out longer than expected, and I just don’t have enough pants that fit me anymore.”

Hannah laughed at her daughter’s misery. Not unkindly, just easily able to sympathise. “Well, we can’t have that now can we. Honestly, I’m practically fine other than a little soreness, which I can manage easily. I have to try to refrain from using my arm, but I have a sling I can keep it in if we’ll be out walking around.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. I think the doctor’s are all being extra cautious thanks to Steven’s special orders. I’m fine, really.”

“Oh boy, he’s got it bad, huh?”

“Well, I am quite the prize,” Hannah joked.

Jane laughed at her mother’s lack of modesty. “Alright. Just promise me if you’re not feeling good to let me know so we can go back to the  _ Normandy. _ We have a few days here so there’s no rush.”

“I promise. But I don’t expect it to be an issue.”

“Okay,” Jane paused in thought as a realisation hit her. “Can you even remember the last time that we got to do something like this for fun? Where we were able to just be mother and daughter like this?”

Hannah stopped to think too. “Come to think of it, no. Outings like this certainly weren’t common with how busy I was. Almost all of your clothes were requisitioned.”

“Hmm. Well, it’s a nice change.”

“It certainly is,” Hannah agreed with a smile.

“Would you maybe be okay if it wasn’t just mother and daughter though?”

“Whatever you want, sweetie. Who else were you thinking?”

“Well, I would imagine Ada would be thrilled to be included, but let’s just say, I’m not the only pregnant person on the  _ Normandy. _ ”

“Oh, really? Who else then?”

“Gabby. Do you remember her?”

“Why yes, as a matter of fact, I do. She managed to get us some data for the Crucible that was invaluable. When I was bringing your crew back home from Sur’Kesh, I took quite a liking to her actually.”

“I’m glad to hear it, she’s become a good friend.”

“Good. She’s such a sweet girl. It’s a shame what happened to her family.”

“I’m surprised she told you about that. It took her a lot longer to confide that with me.”

“It took time for me to work it out of her too. It was easy for me to see that she needed someone to confide in, but she was so adamant about not wanting to waste anyone’s time. Especially mine. That girl hates to be a burden, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely Gabby. I’ve had my own talk with her about that.”

“Good. Honestly, I think I just reminded her of her own mother. She wanted some relationship advice about Kenneth, and said that Tali couldn’t be impartial. It certainly felt like she had been in need of parental guidance at the time. I have to say, it was almost a bit therapeutic for me at the time as well, with not knowing about your status yet either.”

“Well I’m glad you were there for each other. I’m willing to share as long as you are,” Jane laughed.

“Only for the good ones, which no doubt, Gabby is.”

“Good. Well, I have it on pretty good authority that she may be running out of clothes too. In fact, I think it’s worse for her. She really wasn’t expecting to be out here this long either and I don’t think she had anything. I’ve been sharing what I can.”

“Alright, well now you’ve made it sound dire. Let’s get out of here, shall we. If that doctor’s not here, I’m sure we can get their attention at the front desk.”

“Okay, jees. I can see where I get my impatience from.”

“Oh, don’t be silly, Jane. I’m perfectly capable of being patient, as long as it’s not something that’s wasting everyone’s time.”

“Right,” Jane said, as she followed her mother out the door.

Hannah managed to get herself discharged rather quickly and efficiently now that there was reason for her to leave. They went to go meet up with Kaidan and Ada, because Hannah was admittedly excited to see him as well. After Jane told him their plans for the afternoon, he excused himself so he could go help with the investigation. It would never hurt having a Spectre looking into it either, and the council had already granted him permission to be included in the investigation.

Jane had quickly called Gabby for her to come join them. Gabby had been more than a little thrilled to see how well Hannah had been doing, as they greeted each other with a hug, Gabby being careful to not hurt Hannah’s injured shoulder.

The four women enjoyed a day out exploring how well Terra Nova had been able to pick itself up since the end of the war. If Jane had to venture a guess, she would think that it was slightly better than Earth, though even Earth had been starting to look good the last time she was there.

The city they were in was entirely functional and you could barely see the scars left from the war. There were plenty of shops and restaurants open already, making their day easy and fun. She was glad that she was able to include Gabby in their outing. Jane had quickly realised that she had almost been in the same shoes Gabby was in now, making her all that much more grateful for still having her mother with her. Jane knew there was no possible way for this experience to be the same for Gabby without it being her real family, but it didn’t mean Jane and Hannah couldn’t be here for her in their absence.


	38. Back to Work

Jane was currently sitting at her desk in her office. The  _ Normandy _ had arrived back on the Citadel yesterday, and with current events, there was no time to ease back into things. She had been expected back on the job asap, and she was fine with that, wanting to get the matter dealt with just as much as anyone else. Kaidan’s situation was no different. With the recent attacks, there was a heightened need for security for the council.

Hackett had promised to make it to the Citadel today to give everyone a debrief personally, which Jane was expecting at any moment now that the day was already more than half over. In the meantime she had been catching up on the investigation, and intelligence reports surrounding the incidents. There had already been two more attacks just within the week and a half it had taken them to get back home. This was a growing concern that needed to be dealt with.

Jane looked up as she heard her door open, only to be disappointed that it still wasn’t Hackett. She had been eager to get the ball rolling on this just as much as everyone else was.

“Mom,” Jane greeted, with her face still buried in some datapads.

“Steven sent me a message. He’s finally on his way over. Apparently they’ve opened the beam up for transport to and from Earth now, so it shouldn’t take him long. He was just about to go through.”

“Ugh. I sure hope they’ve tinkered with the landing. It was far from graceful when I had to use it.”

Hannah scrunched up her face, not particularly liking the memory of those days, as she sat down in one of the chairs across from her daughter.

“Yes, well, one would certainly hope so.”

Jane just gave a slightly dismissive nod, still focusing on her work. “So, how have you been enjoying your first day? You like your new posting?”

“I certainly can’t complain. It will be a bit of a change from constantly being on tour before this, but a welcome one I think. These offices sure are something, aren’t they? I see you’ve been putting yours to good use.”

Jane finally looked up from her datapad to her mother questioningly. Hannah nodded to the wall behind Jane to show her what she was looking at. As Jane turned her chair around, she was mortified to find the matching sets of handprints freshly adorning the shiny metal surface from her earlier tryst with Kaidan, where he had pressed her against the wall.

Jane just slumped back in her chair, looking at the ceiling, silently cursing the Alliances choice in construction materials.

“Besides, I’d recognize that glow anywhere, and it’s not from the pregnancy. Really, Jane? It’s barely past one in the afternoon.”

Jane got up to grab some paper towels from her private bathroom. On her way out, she simply said, “What? We’re just trying to heed your advice.”

“I didn’t tell you that to imply that you should be having sex at work, Jane,” Hannah said, somewhat seriously, though still clearly amused with the situation.

“Maybe not, but these second trimester hormones are real. I made the mistake of inviting Kaidan over for lunch today.”

“Well at least you were on your break. I’ll just make a mental note to not come here for lunch then.”

“Oh, don’t worry. That’s not the only thing I learned from that conversation. We locked the door,” Jane said with a laugh, as she finished cleaning off the last of the evidence.

“Ah, well that’s good at least,” Hannah laughed.

That’s when Admiral Hackett finally decided to join them. Hannah stood, wanting to say hi properly, and give him a hug. It was the first time they were seeing each other since Hannah had left for Terra Nova, and even though Hackett had talked to her plenty since the attack, it was different being able to see someone in person after something like that.

What Hannah hadn’t been expecting, was for him to cup the back of her head gently and pull her into a deep and passionate kiss right in front of her daughter.

Jane just averted her gaze for a minute, completely understanding the need to get reacquainted, though she really wished her mother had decided to wait to come over here together with Hackett after having had the chance to do this privately. Though she probably would have been far more mortified if Hackett had been around for her mother’s little revelation.

Jane cleared her throat very obviously. “Alright, you two, if you really want to continue down this path, might I suggest going back to my mother’s office?”

Hackett finally parted, slightly surprised with himself. He and Hannah both promptly straightened themselves out.

“Right. Sorry, Jane.”

“You might want to be careful about doing that here anyway, Steven. Not unless you  _ want _ to be accused of favouritism,” Hannah said.

“Hardly. Besides, if I was really guilty of favouritism, I would have stationed you on Earth. Unfortunately you’re needed here more, especially with your daughter about to be needing some time off,” Hackett said, with a smile towards Jane. “But anyway, I think it would be best if we just moved right on to business if it’s all the same to you two.”

“Please,” Jane said, pointing to the chairs, in front of her desk, signalling for them to have a seat.

“It is really good to see you though, Hannah,” He said, patting her hand on the arm rest after sitting down. He didn’t even offer her a smile. All Jane saw was a man in love, looking like he never wanted to experience anything like that again. Jane figured she could easily forgive him for his temporary lack of humility if this was the type of treatment her mother would receive. She couldn’t help but notice Hannah’s look of lament, likely feeling guilt over potentially being the one to put someone through that. Hackett clearly wasn’t the only one who had it bad.

“So, what have you learned, Hackett?” Jane asked after they got settled.

“Quite a lot, and somehow also a lot of nothing all at once. First and foremost, there have officially been four attacks now that we believe are all connected. We’ve managed to gather a lot of facts, but we’re still trying to work on how they’re all connected. The one thing we’ve come to agree on is with how disorganized they are, we’ve come to the conclusion that they seem to be terroristic in nature.”

“You’re not thinking Cerberus are you?”

“Probably not. All of the assailants that both your mother, and her security detail witnessed were krogan. Even though Cerberus is a terrorist organization, they’re so pro-human, they wouldn’t typically bring alien forces in to do their dirty work.”

“Hmm. Krogans usually jump at the chance to be the brute force too, but always with a purpose they can stand behind. Definitely not for someone like Cerberus,” Jane said.

“Not unless whoever’s pulling the strings is trying to use them as some kind of political ploy, or trying to take advantage of them somehow,” Hannah added.

“Entirely possible. We’ve been in contact with Clan Urdnot. Wrex is trying to keep an eye out for anything suspicious, as well as any recruitment requests. He hasn’t found anything yet, but he’s also trying to backtrack on anything that may have happened while he wasn’t on Tuchanka.”

“Okay,” Shepard said, leaning back in her chair trying to take in all the information so far.

“Another reason why this just doesn’t fit though, is one of the last targets was on the Aralakh Relay. Even if someone else was behind this, we wouldn’t think the krogans would be willing to sabotage progress on their own relay, no matter what the cause.”

“Hmm. No, that doesn’t really make sense. So two attacks associated with the relays, and one with the  _ Orizaba _ . What was the other?” Hannah asked.

“You may as well say three associated with the relays. The last one was on one of the Flotilla vessels helping with the tech, and not the actual rebuilding.”

“So what do those have in common with the  _ Orizaba _ ?” Jane asked.

“Well, if your previous theory is correct in that they were targeting you, it’s entirely possible to think that they’re trying to impede progress in general. You’re largely responsible for strategizing Alliance needs in the rebuilding effort, and every other attack was to prevent real progress being made on the relays.”

“So you think someone has something to gain by everyone being more or less stranded?”

“Possibly, yes. It’s just with how reckless everything has been, it’s hard to say for sure. There’s been a blatant disregard for lives lost on either sides of the attack. They clearly don’t care about victims, but they also don’t care about their own casualties either. All of the ship signatures we’ve managed to pick up during the attacks are all modified junkers. Nothing substantial of note, no registration that’s easily traceable. It’s really somewhat bizarre,” Hackett said.

“So what do we do now?” Jane asked, more or less just speaking out loud as she tried to think.

“Honestly, there’s not much to be done yet without more information. Until we have more to go on, all we can do is increase defense and security, especially around the relays. Try to prevent another attack. Without knowing who’s behind anything, it’s not like we can go after anyone. We’re kind of just playing the waiting game until we get more evidence or theories to go by.”

“Well that just doesn’t sound like enough,” Jane said.

“No, it doesn't. But unfortunately, with their suicidal nature, there hasn’t been anyone leftover to even question. Luckily the Flotilla vessel managed to get out before they were destroyed, but they were more concerned with preservation of life than trying to find out who was attacking them.”

“I can’t say that I blame them,” Hannah said. “I’m glad they managed to escape that. They were relentless with the  _ Orizaba _ .”

They all nodded in agreement to that. It was awful to think that so soon after such a large victory there was already needless death going on. Was it too much to ask for even a year of peace. Or at the very least, very heated debates in council chambers rather than useless loss of life with no one even taking blame for a cause for such actions. What exactly were they trying to prove or accomplish?

“Hackett, could I get you to put in a request? I don’t really care if it’s favouritism at this point, I just want to make sure that my people are safe,” Jane asked.

“Sure. What is it?”

“I want any of my people that were working on the relays to be relocated. Especially Gabriella Daniels, and Kenneth Donnelly.”

“Of course, Shepard. There’s really no reason that they need to be on location anymore anyway, with the Comm’s back up and running. We have space here in the engineering department if I’m not mistaken.”

“That would be perfect. Thank you, sir.”

He nodded in acceptance of her appreciation.

“Well, as far as everything else is concerned, I’ll just have to keep you informed as we get new intel. So unless either of you have any questions, I’d say we’re about done for now.”

“I’m good for now. I’ll probably just go through the rest of these reports, and let you know if I think of anything,” Jane said.

“Same goes for me,” Hannah said as she stood to leave, looking back at Hackett to see if he was following. He wasn’t.

“I’d like to have a moment alone with Jane, if that’s alright,” He said, seeing that Hannah was waiting for him.

“Okay,” she said, slightly confused. “Come see me in my office as soon as you’re done.” She had said it innocently enough, but Jane knew full well the implications of the request.

“Ugh, mom. You’re going to make my nausea come back,” Jane said, as she received a teasing wink from Hannah as she left the room.

Hackett just looked confused as he moved his gaze back to Jane, clearly knowing that something had gone over his head. He loved witnessing the close and teasing relationship between the pair. It was a privilege to see these two powerful women having a normal life.

“Do I even want to know?”

“I’m sure you do, but I’m not going to be the one elaborating on that.”

Hackett just grumbled, realising that he figured he knew exactly what Hannah meant now, suddenly not sure how he felt about being the subject of their teasing relationship.

Jane just looked at him expectantly. He had been the one who asked to have a word with her.

“Right. So, how have you been feeling, Jane?”

Jane looked at him, unsure. She could feel that there was more meaning behind the question than he was letting on.

“I’ve been good, Hackett. But something tells me, that’s not what you really wanted to talk about.”

“That’s not actually true, Jane. To be honest, that was my attempt to show a bit of interest on more of a personal level.”

“And why’s that?” Jane honestly didn’t have a problem with that in the least, especially with how close her mother was getting to him, she was just curious to see where this was going.

“Well, I was actually hoping that you might become my step-daughter in the near future.”

Jane’s eyes flew open to that tidbit of information. “I’m sorry, but if that was your way of proposing to my mother, that was quite possibly the worst way I could think of for you to do it.”

Hackett laughed. “Hardly. I’ve already got my own plan for that. I’m hoping you won’t breathe a word of this conversation to her, by the way.”

“Okay.”

“I know it’s only been about eight months since your mother and I have started seeing each other, but I love her, Jane. I’ve been considering this for a little while already, but with what just transpired, I don’t want to wait anymore. You’re the only family that she has left. I certainly have none to offer. Even friends have been in short supply for me over the past decade, and even more so since the war. You’re everything to her, which makes you important to me. It would just mean a lot to know that you would approve.”

“Wow. To be honest, sir, I never thought I’d see the day that my mom would ever find someone else that made her happy again, but ever since she’s been with you, she’s been happier than I’ve really seen her before. At least since my dad died. As long as it’s what she wants too, then of course I approve.”

Hackett got up from his seat, and walked over to the other side of her desk, signalling that he wanted to give her a hug. Jane stood, a little more slowly, and with a little more effort than she was accustomed to, and gladly reciprocated his offer.

“Now you listen here, I’m not going to force you to call me dad by any means, but you better at least stop calling me sir.”

Jane laughed. “Alright, Steven,” she said with a nod.

“My goodness, you sure have changed, haven’t you. How far along are you now?”

“26 weeks. Only 14 more to go. Are you sure you’re ready for this? You know my mom’s going to come as a package deal. You’re going to go from barely more than a bachelor, straight to husband, father and grandfather. Not that I really need you to be a father figure or anything,” she said, moving the hand over her rather pronounced bump.

“Ha. Oh, you’ve no idea, Jane. My career has always been everything to me before this. I’ve always put off having a family of my own in lieu of advancing to where I am now. I wouldn’t say I regret it, but it’s something I would be lying about if I said I hadn’t wanted it someday. I love Hannah more than I’ve ever loved anyone, so the fact that she comes with a family is only a bonus.”

“Well good, because if you’re going to be the grandfather, then I fully expect babysitting duty form you from time to time.”

Hackett laughed. “Well, I have precisely zero experience with babies, but I’m sure with Hannah’s help, we’ll manage just fine.”

Jane smiled. “Well, in that case, good luck, Steven. Though, I’m sure you won’t be needing it.”

“Thank you, Jane.”

“No problem. You probably shouldn’t be keeping my mother waiting though.”

“Right. Of course not. Alright. I’ll be off then,” he said as he turned to leave Jane’s office.

Jane smiled at what had just transpired. Her mom deserved to be happy. Jane allowed herself a few minutes to be elated for her mother, but the fact remained that there was a lot of work to be done, and important work at that. It was at least good to see that no matter what was going on, happiness could still prevail.


	39. Unprepared

The last month had gone by in a blink. There was so much to do and barely any time for rest. It was exhausting.

On the more personal side of events, Hackett had proposed to Hannah later that evening after speaking to Jane. He had brought her to the apartment that he bought for them as a surprise right next to the Shepard-Alenko residence on the strip. He had told her that it didn’t matter where they lived and they could choose something else together if she didn’t like this, but he asked her if she wanted to live there, and make a life together. She had been shocked, and said yes. Hannah had always been one to figure that even if she had fallen in love again, she probably wouldn’t get married. But Steven had changed her mind about that.

Hannah couldn’t help but notice how large the apartment was. It had a different layout than Kaidan and Jane’s, but it was almost just as big. She made the stipulation that Ada be able to live with them should she choose to. Ever since Hannah had extracted her from Earth, they hadn’t been separated save for her trip to find the  _ Normandy _ . She had become quite attached, and figured that Hackett wouldn’t be living there most of the time anyway. It would have been a horrible opportunity to waste, especially knowing that Ada would likely be staying to work at Huerta for some time. They had only been living at temporary Alliance housing until now anyway, and they would both need somewhere more permanent. Hackett had agreed easily, liking the idea that Hannah would have someone during the week when he was gone. He vowed to be home every weekend, even if he would be working most of that time.

Apparently the apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree in more ways than one between mother and daughter, because Hannah had also not wasted any time with a long engagement or overzealous wedding plans. She had stated how much she preferred the idea of having a small intimate ceremony as well, not needing the fluff of a wedding day. She was too old to care about a day to celebrate, and merely wanted to share her life with the man that she loved. More people had attended her wedding than Jane’s, but it was still very small and intimate. Mostly just Ada and the parts of the  _ Normandy _ crew that Hannah had become close with. She and Hackett also had a few admiral friends that joined.

Hannah had decided not to change her name. Even though it was technically her late husband’s she was too old to be getting used to something new. Steven had been entirely fine with the idea. Despite the name belonging to another man she had loved, it was an important part of her, and who she had come to be. He didn’t begrudge her for not wanting to take his name, and appreciated her want for keeping that part of herself.

Ada had decided to stay with Kaidan and Jane for the first weekend after their wedding, letting them break in the house in privacy. She didn’t exactly like feeling like a third wheel, but she couldn’t deny that she liked the idea of living so close to her children and now soon to be grandchild. Hannah had become family to her now too, as she no doubt knew Hackett would in time as well. She didn’t mind the idea of living with them as long as they got their honeymoon phase out of their system.

The Citadel had already opened up to the general public before the  _ Normandy _ had arrived from Terra Nova. It was eerie how quickly it had almost seemed like nothing had ever happened to it, save for the fact that it now orbited over London, likely permanently.

With the increased amount of people everywhere, news had broken easily about Shepard’s condition. She had been constantly bombarded by reporters, all of which she had absolutely no time for. She felt bad for her receptionist, likely having to waste most of her day on pointless phone calls and requests. Honestly she didn’t care much about who or how the news got out, but she didn’t confirm it to anyone except Allers. Jane had filmed a segment with her while they were still on Palaven, and with the damage being done now, she had finally given Diana permission to broadcast it with the addition of a few more recent holos.

In terms of work, there had been four more attacks within four weeks, each with more dwindling efficacy than the last. The last two had ended up so poorly on the part of the attackers that they had committed suicide by blowing up their own ships, likely for no other reason than to destroy any evidence. It was frustrating, not being able to piece together the information, and things were beginning to not feel right, not that anything about these attacks had ever particularly felt right.

Security had been tightened everywhere thanks to the attacks. But it had especially tightened for Shepard with her news being out. She now had an entourage of two guards that went with her everywhere. That is, everywhere with the exception of her office, and inside her apartment. They always stayed outside the door, doing a sweep of the room and apartment before she re-entered them every time. It was an adjustment to be sure. She wasn’t used to people treating her like she couldn’t protect herself, though she was still grateful. She didn’t particularly want to be taking any risks at the moment, especially with recent events.

Shepard was currently on her office couch trying to nap. At 30 weeks pregnant, that alone was enough to make her exhausted. Add that on top of this mess at work, made it unbearable to make it through most days without napping. She always seemed to work better after one, and allowed her to work longer hours, so it was win-win really, though over the last month, her need for a nap had started to happen more and more early in the day. At this point she was barely awake for 3 hours before needing a half hour nap to get her through the rest of the day.

The baby was being particularly rambunctious now though, keeping her awake. She couldn’t be upset though. She was quickly beginning to realise how soon this would be over, so she was relishing every minute. Resting against the couch, eyes still closed trying to at least relax if not sleep, she prodded back, only to be met with more movement. It was strange and wonderful, and nothing like how she imagined. There was literally a person inside of her, flailing limbs however it pleased. If she had thought she could see movement that one time with Miranda 12 weeks ago, that was nothing in comparison to now, with bulges moving across the expanse of her stomach, likely an elbow or a foot. It was at least fun when it was like this. Far less so when it was directed at her bladder or cervix. It was starting to get up into her rib cage now too, which was also proving to be uncomfortable.

That’s when Kaidan walked in. He and Hannah were the only ones with unfettered access to her office, even with the added security detail. Jane was always happy to see Kaidan, so she wanted him to be allowed in whenever he had the chance, and as for her mother, well, she knew not to come in if the door display was red. Any other time, she was more than happy to see her as well, though it usually came with more work.

Kaidan leaned against the doorway, admiring his wife relaxing, clearly enjoying some time with their child. She offered him a smile as her way of greeting, and extended her hand out, to get him to come join her. He grabbed it and sat down on the floor, his head near her belly.

“What are you up to?” he asked.

“Well, I  _ was _ trying to take a nap, but it’s like she’s doing a solo boxing championship in there right now, so I was just playing with her a bit I guess you could say.”

“Oh?" he asked as he moved his gaze back to their child. Jane pointed to the area for him to wait to look at, and then sure enough, there it was, a big bulge moving across her stomach. He moved her shirt up to see better, witnessing a few more before it slowed down again. That prompted him to blow a raspberry on the side of her belly, eliciting a startled reaction from within.

“Oh, Kaidan. That was mean. Don’t scare her.”

He looked at her with a bit of a sorry smile. “You’re right. I didn’t really want to scare her, I just wanted to play with her too. In hindsight, I can see how that would be terrifying for a baby. My mistake,” he said, this time, just gently feeling the rolling movements under his palm. He kissed the side of her belly, “Daddy’s sorry,” he said, before gently rested his head there, looking into Jane’s eyes. Then he felt something more plump push up against his palm more powerfully than before. “What in the galaxy is she doing in there?”

Kaidan had started using female pronouns sometime within the past couple of months. He wasn’t even sure when. It had been an easy habit to slip into since Shepard had been using it constantly. Plus, the more time passed, the more he thought that it felt right too. He still maintained that it didn’t matter though, it was just easier to refer to her as something other than blueberry all the time, though he still called her that occasionally.

Jane laughed. “That’s definitely a butt. She’s stretching. I think she’s already starting to run out of room in there… And she still has 10 weeks left!” Jane said, with a jokingly horrified look on her face, as she grumbled out the last bit.

Kaidan laughed at that, as they both just tried to enjoy the moment. That was when Hannah had decided to walk in. She saw Jane lying on the couch, and Kaidan huddled up closely, both looking towards the door now.

“I’m not walking in on anything here am I? The door was unlocked.”

“Ha ha, mom. It’s not like that’s the only reason Kaidan would ever be in here.”

Kaidan just looked towards his wife, entirely mortified that Hannah would have even known about their sexcipades in her office.

“I’m sorry, Kaidan, but she may have found evidence once.”

“Yeah right. Once,” Hannah said, with a grin, entirely pleased with herself.

Kaidan grumbled as he buried his face.

“It’s quite alright, Kaidan. I’m glad that you make each other so happy. Though, I don’t need to be reminded of it quite so frequently. But anyway, I’m here for a reason.”

Kaidan finally stood up, and helped Jane up as well.

“Alright, what is it?” Jane said, stretching herself out, before putting her hands on her back, uncomfortable for lying in the same position for so long.

“Steven wanted me to tell you that Wrex may finally have some information. He doesn’t trust the lines of communication that are available to him right now though, so he’s coming in person. He should be here in two weeks.”

“Well that’s something. If Wrex is actually willing to come here, it has to be important.”

“Yes, that’s what we thought too.”

“Hmm, well it’ll be good to get the ball rolling more if we can. I swear with everything that’s been going on lately, it’s starting to almost feel like they’re trying to be more of a distraction than anything.”

“The thought had crossed my mind too,” Hannah said.

Kaidan just listened intently to the discussion. He had been kept up to date. He was still technically an Alliance General, and was privy to the information, thought he wasn’t really involved much in the strategics behind it all, thanks to him taking more of an active role on the Spectre side of things. At the very least, he liked being informed, especially with the potential of his wife being a target.

“Okay, well thanks for the update. Was that all?”

“All of the business anyway. Steven also wanted me to let you know that he had something delivered to your apartment today.”

“Did he say what?”

“Well, he told me, but it’s supposed to be a surprise.”

“That doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

“Oh, trust me, I think you’ll like it. Or at the very least, appreciate it.”

“Okay. Did you maybe want to come over after work or something? That way you can relay to your husband, just how appreciative we are.”

Hannah laughed. “Sure. I’d love to see how you like it, actually. I may have had a hand in picking it out.”

“Perfect. Maybe we’ll order some takeout or something,” Jane said, checking her omni-tool for the time. “But anyway, it looks like my lunch date is probably almost here.”

“Oh, what? Kaidan isn’t cutting it for you anymore?”

Jane laughed and Kaidan just stood there like he was being emotionally tortured and didn’t know what to do about it.

“No, I’m afraid I’m starting to not have the energy for my lunches with Kaidan most days. Meanwhile, Gabby and I are like kindred spirits in that regard. Plus she was going to give me an update about the relays and go over any resources that they need, so really my lunches with her are far more productive.”

“Ah, well that’s good then. Please wish her well for me. We should really get together for another girls night sometime soon.”

“I will, and I’m sure she’d love to.”

“Alright. Enjoy your lunch sweetie. See you tonight.”

Jane just smiled at her mother as she left.

Kaidan moved to give her a kiss. “I should probably head out too. I’m interviewing a few new people in a bit. I should really go prepare.”

“Okay,” she said, giving him a gentle caress.

“How about I come over on my way home to pick you and your mother up. That way we can all go back to the apartment together.”

“Good idea. See you tonight. I love you.”

“I love you too. Both of you,” he said, giving her belly one last caress.

As Kaidan went to leave, Jane’s receptionist was already on her way in with the lunches for her and Gabby. Jane told her to just let Gabby in as soon as she got here, which was only a few minutes later.

“Hey, Gabby, come in. Lunch is already here.”

“Oh good, I only ate a couple hours ago, but I feel like I could eat horse.”

“You’re not having a biotic too, are you?”

“Nope, confirmed it a couple weeks ago. It’s not like I’ve been eating a lot, I’m just hungry all the time.”

“Hmm. Meanwhile I’m eating a lot and still hungry all the time. It’s honestly becoming somewhat of a chore. I’ve started eating biotic rations just so I don’t have to eat as often. But anyway, how are things? How’s Ken?”

Gabby had already started digging into her food, so waited to swallow before answering. “Really busy. Ken’s good. Also really busy.”

“I can imagine. Everyone’s waiting on bated breath for the relays to reopen.”

“Yes. We’ve both been working overtime there, but not just that. Between work, and doctors appointments, and setting up the house for a new baby, it barely seems like there’s any time for sleep, and somehow it always feels like that’s the only thing I ever really want to be doing. I mean, you must know how it is.”

“Hmm,” Jane said, in thought. Somehow, with the attacks being a huge distraction and with everyone being so busy, she had suddenly realised that she had neglected to actually prepare much for the baby. There were still 10 weeks left, sure. But there were also only 10 weeks left! She was already so busy at work. To have to worry about finding everything she would need in that time had been a bit of a rude awakening. It made her feel overwhelmed.

“What?” Gabby asked, noticing that Jane had stopped eating.

“Just how much do you have prepared for the baby?” she asked, almost embarrassed to admit that she hadn’t done anything.

“We have his room all set up now for the most part. We still have to buy the smaller supplies, like clothes and stuff, but at least all of the furniture is made. Why?”

“Oh nothing. I just suddenly realised that my free time is about to be promptly non-existent.”

“Oh no, really? How much have you done?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Jane admitted, rubbing her face, clearly being disappointed in herself. “Ugh, I can’t believe I haven’t even put any thought into it.”

“I’m sorry, Shepard. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

“No, I’m honestly glad you brought it up. If I leave it much longer, it might be too late. But hang on a second. Did you say, he? Do you actually know?”

“Yeah, we found out a couple weeks ago.”

“Seriously? Have we really not seen each other since then?”

“No. I think we’ve both just been too busy. See? It’s not hard to get distracted by everything. You’re one of the busiest people I know, with one of the most important jobs.”

“Okay, okay, I see your point, but I don’t have any excuses anymore. But anyway, congratulations.”

“Thanks. It would have been nice to keep it a surprise like you guys are, but Ken and I are way too impatient.”

“I don’t blame you. It’s been hard. It almost makes it harder to picture, but it’ll all be worth it in the end. But anyway, shall we discuss the relays? How’s progress going?” she asked, finally starting to eat again.

“Really good actually. The last few weeks have led us to a lot of breakthroughs with the tech. We think we’ve figured out how to repair everything, now it’s all about the hardware and rebuilding.”

“That sounds nothing short of amazing, Gabby. I honestly didn’t expect to be hearing that this quickly.”

“Neither did we, to be frank. But you’re not going to hear any of us complaining about it.”

“I should hope not. So what do you need?”

“Here,” Gabby said, opening up her omni-tool and sending a file to Shepard. “The team’s prepared a list. We wouldn’t say no to more construction drones too, just so things can move a bit faster.”

“Of course. Whatever you need. I’ll go over this after lunch and try to get everything shipped out asap.”

“Thanks, Shepard,” Gabby said, finally finishing off her lunch, leaning back in her chair, letting out an exhausted sigh.

“You really weren’t joking about wanting to sleep more huh?”

“No. How do you manage to make it through the day?”

“One of the perks of having a private office. That couch has come in handy almost every day since I’ve started working here.”

Gabby looked behind her, suddenly seeming very jealous. “Well that sure is lucky.”

“Tell me about it. You know, if it’s really that difficult for you, I don’t mind sharing. I’m a pretty quiet worker. That is, as long as you don’t try to steal my nap time.”

“Do you mean it?” Gabby asked, wide eyed, like she had just won the lottery.

“Sure. I’ll even let you have access to my private bathroom for all those incessant pee breaks, if you need it, too.”

“Oh my god, Shepard, I don’t even know how to thank you. Can I use it now? The couch I mean. I’ve felt like a zombie all day.”

“Have at it. I think a nap is out of the question for me today. I’ll tell my receptionist and security to let you have full access. Besides, having that brain of yours rested can only work in everyone's favour. I sure know how much better I work after I get my nap.”

“Oh, thank you so much, Shepard. This is going to make life so much easier.”

“Well when you put it that way, how could I ever deny you. I have a clean blanket over in the cupboards over there if you want it.”

Gabby promptly went to grab the blanket and lie down. Shepard was shocked with how easily she was able to fall asleep, she must not have been joking about how tired she was. Then again, Jane knew first hand how much the pregnancy was taking out of her, so maybe it shouldn’t have been so hard to believe.

The rest of the day went by quickly. Gabby had managed to sleep for an hour straight, seemingly only woken up by her need to use the bathroom. Gabby said to expect to see her around the same time tomorrow as they said their goodbyes, to which Jane laughed and nodded.

By the end of the day, Jane had already worked her way through most of Gabby’s list, trying to requisition everything they would need as well as transport for the supplies to bring them to the Charon Relay. Any transport would need to have added security detail thanks to the attacks, which was just one more thing that she would have to deal with now, but it would be worth it if the relays could open again soon.

She was surprised when Kaidan came through the door with Hannah, not thinking that much time could have passed. They made their way over to the apartment, and Hannah had decided to not even go home first and get cleaned up. She just joined them right away to see their reactions.

As they walked in the door, Jane could see a lot of large boxes in their entry way. Hannah had a beaming grin, waiting for Jane to figure out what it is.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Is this all nursery furniture?” she said excitedly looking over to her mother.

Hannah nodded in affirmation.

“Jees, how much money does he have to throw away exactly?”

“Honestly, I think it’s more than he knows what to do with. But it’s not about the money. The last time he was here, he noticed that you didn’t have anything yet, and he knows how hard you’ve both been working. He wanted to help out in some way. I made sure to keep the receipts, so if this isn’t the stuff you want, we can go exchange it.”

“No, mom, this is perfect,” she said wiping away a tear. Damn hormones, she had wrongly thought that the worst of it was over, but no. It was still far too easy to elicit this type of response from her. “Actually you have no idea how perfect. My lunch with Gabby was extremely successful in making me feel entirely unprepared. This is a huge weight off of my shoulders.”

Kaidan moved to wrap his arm around Jane to comfort her. He had suddenly felt guilty that he hadn’t thought about it too. Just because Jane was the pregnant one didn’t mean that he couldn’t have looked into it himself either. They really had just been busy, and time had gotten the better of the both of them.

“Maybe we can put it together this weekend, huh?” Kaidan said.

“Actually, Steven said he’ll be free all weekend. He already offered to come help with it.”

“Thanks mom. This was really great,” she said, going over to give her a hug.

“You’re welcome. And maybe if you’re really feeling that unprepared, while the boys are all building the furniture, we can go out with Ada and Gabby to go look at some of the smaller stuff. What do you say?”

“I think that would make me feel a lot better, honestly. I’ll invite Gabby when I see her at work tomorrow.”

“Well it’s settled then. We have a nice busy weekend to look forward to,” Hannah said, rubbing her daughter’s back.


	40. The Krantt Arrives

Hackett had assembled a meeting in the Alliance theatre with the admiralty board, and the MWII to be hosted on the Citadel. He had managed to maintain contact with Wrex in the weeks leading up to his arrival, and Wrex had encouraged it, without giving away any specifics. He still didn’t trust any lines of communication, but it was clearly bad enough to have this dealt with immediately.

This had technically become such a widespread issue, affecting almost every race at this point, that the MWII should be the ones taking charge, but the fact was that they were still primarily a peacekeeping force, with little experience. Hackett felt inclined to keep them included. It would be good for their training, and continued support and alliance between all races, but as things were currently, the Systems Alliance had the most intel. The primary attacks were against Alliance vessels, and within Alliance controlled systems, so they were more or less the ones in charge at this point.

Hackett had even called Kaidan in to this meeting. Being a general, he was still privy to any information, and he knew that there would likely be a good chance that the council would need to be involved more, and sooner rather than later. They had been kept up to date of course, but if Wrex’s information was this important, they would likely want to get the Spectre’s more involved too, which meant that it would just be easier to have Kaidan as a liaison.

Jane and Kaidan were in the hall outside of the theatre, waiting on Wrex. He would be here any minute. Wrex hadn’t wanted to waste any time getting the meeting underway, especially since he would be arriving in the middle of a work day, there would really be no point in waiting, but Kaidan and Jane had wanted to give him a proper greeting all the same. Hackett had already left to be Wrex’s official escort, and help direct him where he needed to go.

As they rounded the corner, the pair was surprised to see Grunt here too, though maybe Jane shouldn’t have been. The last time they had seen each other, Grunt had taken his role as Krantt seriously. If this was as bad as Wrex was letting on, she should have expected for Grunt to want to tag along.

“Wrex,” Jane said with a smile.

“Shepard,” he said, reciprocating with a smile. That was good. At least things didn’t seem so dire that he couldn’t put it aside for a moment and be jovial.

“Grunt,” She said.

“Shepard,” he said simply.

“Wrex, Grunt,” Kaidan said.

Then Jane looked over to Kaidan, and thought this whole interaction felt all too similar, bringing her back immediately to her pleasantly buzzed self during their citadel party, where all they did was repeat each others’ names for ten minutes straight.

“Oh, no no no. We’re not starting this again. Let’s all just say hi, and be done with it.”

Kaidan and Hackett offered her a strange look, as the trio laughed. Clearly they had been missing something.

“Alright, Shepard,” Wrex said. “Spirits, are you still growing that thing? You weren’t joking when you said it took longer to grow humans. What, do you wait until they’re fully grown or something? I guess that’s efficient at least.”

“Hardly. In fact human babies are among some of the most delicate. It may be inefficient, but we’re still grateful,” she said, looking to Kaidan with a smile.

“Well, that sentiment I can understand,” He said, patting Kaidan on the arm, with the full force he normally would, making him lose his footing slightly. “Well, you look huge already, must be getting close at last huh?”

Jane just rolled her eyes. “Still have 8 weeks left, Wrex. I think that’s what…” she said, holding up her hands trying to do calculations in her head. “Something like 63 Tuchanka standard days.”

“Hmm,” he grumbled out. “That already looks uncomfortable. I don’t envy you females. I thought krogan women had it bad.”

“Speaking of, how’s Bakara? What about your new clutch?”

“Both good. Obviously I had to leave Bakara in charge. With a lot of help, but I’ll get more into that later. New clutch has already hatched. At least I got to see them in the newborn stage this time before I had to leave again.”

“That must have been nice.”

“Yeah. I thought I loved my other clutch, but boy, when they can’t headbutt you in the quad, or talk back to you, they’re much easier to love,” Wrex said with a laugh. “I’m kidding of course… mostly. They’re easier to deal with, but boy are the older ones a bunch of fun now. The fact that they don’t have to stay at the female camps anymore has been something to get used to though, I’ll tell you what, but it’s been good.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that, Wrex. You better show me some holos later.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. I’ve probably filled my omni-tool two times over just with holos. I think I’ll be staying for a while though, so we’ll have time to go through it all.”

“That bad huh?”

Wrex grunted in affirmation. “Possibly. I hope I’m wrong, but I don’t think so. Either way, until this gets solved, I think I’ll be staying here to have a more centralized location until this is dealt with. I’ve left people I trust in charge, and I’ve set up a secure channel now with the help of a mutual friend,” he said, insinuating that the shadow broker had been helping things along. “So, now that I’m here, we should be able to have more direct contact with Tuchanka.”

“Okay. On that note though, everyone’s waiting, we probably shouldn’t be wasting anymore time,” Jane said.

“Yeah,” Wrex said.

“I’m sorry, but Grunt will have to stay outside,” Hackett added.

“But I am that one’s Krantt,” he said, pointing to Jane’s belly.

“It’s okay, Grunt. That room is secure. My guards usually just watch the door. That’s where I need you right now.”

He just grumbled in affirmation, taking a defensive stance by the door. That’s when everyone else finally decided to walk through.

“Probably for the better, really. He’s still young and impressionable, that one. He doesn’t need to be hearing all of this.”

Jane just looked at him, somewhat concerned before taking her seat next to Kaidan and Liara.

Hackett ushered him to the podium where he stayed to make sure the meeting ran smoothly, and make interjections as necessary, such as doing introductions, and calling the meeting to order.

“Excuse me, everyone,” he said, waiting to get everyone's attention. “Urdnot Wrex has arrived. In the interest of not wasting everyone’s time, I’d like to call the meeting to order immediately. Thank you, Wrex, for coming. As soon as you’re ready,” he said, offering the podium up.

“Thanks, Hackett,” he said, turning towards the crowd. “As you’re all aware by now, all the attacks have been confirmed to have krogans as the instigators. We’ve all been trying to figure out who they’ve been working for, and I believe I finally have an answer. I’ve come to the conclusion that the krogans are working for themselves,” he said as the room erupted into gasps of shock and chatter.

That’s when Hackett got up again, and moved in front of Wrex for the microphone. “Alright, quiet down ladies and gentlemen. Wrex is here peacefully and of his own volition. Let’s just hear him out before this gets out of hand, please.”

“You can’t be serious, Admiral. What Wrex is talking about sounds like the Krogan rebellions all over again,” another admiral from the crowd announced.

That’s when Wrex took the podium back politely from Hackett, already knowing how he wanted to address the statement.

“Exactly. Which is why I’m here. I want to start this off by saying, what the salarians and turians did to us with the genophage was inexcusable, but at the same time, I understand that they weren’t the only ones who got us into that position in the first place. I can assure you that the krogan people as a whole do not want to repeat history, especially not so soon after being given hope again.”

“My way of leading has been largely to promote unified efforts,” Wrex continued, trying to make it obvious how serious he was, and how much this meant to him. “I know that the only way forward is to work together. It’s how we managed to win this war, and it’s how we will be successful moving into the future. Imagine how I feel. This whole time I’ve been pushing for a seat on the council, and then some idiot with a misguided agenda goes and screws everything up, making the rest of us look bad.”

“I haven’t figured out who specifically is responsible, but with the more rules clan Urdnot has been putting in place, the more pushback we’ve been getting. I think when I put a clutch limit on mating couples, that was the last straw for whatever group seemed to not like the way I was running things. It was only a few weeks after that, that the first attack happened, and I don’t think it was a mistake that it happened during my goodwill trip to Palaven.”

“As more time passed, and I noticed that there were no recruitment requests for krogans anywhere, it finally started to dawn on me that some smartass thought he could take things into his own hands. We’re still not entirely sure why they’ve targeted everyone, but I have reason to believe that they think impeding progress will make galactic domination easier. Why they didn’t start with challenging me as clan leader first, I have no idea. We have some suspected clans that have been troublesome ever since the end of the war that we’re looking into. I’m fully willing to hand over any and all evidence that I’ve gotten. I want to assure you that these ideals are not commonly held beliefs. We are not not looking for war. At least, not until the day that Clan Urdnot loses power.”

The room had started a low, and calmer chatter than before, seemingly at least believing Wrex for now, but still concerned. No one in their right mind would want to start another all out war right now if it could be prevented, and Wrex was willingly showing that the sentimentality was shared with the krogan too, despite their historically violent nature.

Jane just shared a worried look with Kaidan, as he took her hand in his. She had suddenly been reminded of EDI’s somewhat terrifying statistics she provided before curing the genophage.

_ “The Krogan can produce 1000 viable offspring per year per woman. If even 1% of women became fertile, they could produce 10 million Krogan in one galactic year,” _ EDI had said.

Jane had always known that curing the genophage was the right decision. Even with the simple intention of population control to protect other races, the genophage performed its purpose in such barbaric ways, that it resulted in too much needless loss of life. Not only the common loss of unborn children, but also of women unrightfully feeling shame over the matter to the point of not being able to live with themselves. Of the men that challenged each other for breeding rights just to have a chance to propagate their bloodline. Of the salarians and turians that were burdened with the mistakes of their ancestors’ past, wrongly being given blame as people that hadn’t had anything to do with it, some of whom even fought against it. The list was long and unforgiving, and a cure had been overdue.

That one simple calculation of EDI’s might have been the only thing that ever would have put doubt in Jane’s mind as to whether she was making the right decision going ahead with it. Of course the krogan had deserved it though, and ultimately she knew she was doing the right thing. They had suffered too much, and deserved reparation. Even that aside, having gone through the experience of the genophage, Jane had the utmost faith that the krogan people would have developed the wisdom and appreciation to know how to cope with the changes and responsibility that would come with it being cured.

Tuchanka had been a dying planet before the war after all, and resources couldn’t support a population boom such as the one that EDI had calculated. The krogan may not have been known for their intelligence, but they weren’t stupid. Especially not with the guidance of Bakara and Wrex. Jane trusted that their leadership was one that would be well rounded, and bring their people into a strong and united future. She just hadn’t expected people to question it. She had preferred to think of it as being hopeful, but really it had been naive.

It was a scary thought to wonder what could happen if Wrex and Bakara were overthrown, especially by someone who had proven to be rather reckless. Curing the genophage would never be a regret. It had been the right thing to do at the time for so many reasons, but she couldn’t help but think about the ramifications of people wanting nothing but to abuse it.

If nothing else, Jane felt bad for her friend, and how this must be effecting him. Wrex was trying to guide his people back into being a productive part of the galaxy peacefully. He was trying to get the other races to see them as more than pawns, and instead as capable allies. He was willing to set aside old feuds for the betterment of his kind, simply because that was the best way forward. He was trying so hard and every attempt that he put forward for betterment was just being thwarted away so easily.

That’s when Hackett took over the podium again.

“Thank you, Wrex. Both for you coming forward with this information, as well as your continued support through this endeavor. As for everyone else here today, make sure to take that as a reminder. We are still peacefully allied with Tuchanka. All of our races are guilty of having organizations dedicated to bigotry and dangerous fanaticism. They are the blight of our existence, and this case should not be considered any differently. The people responsible for these attacks are intolerant radicals, and nothing more.”

Jane couldn’t help but think that was the perfect way to have ended things. This was a blow for the krogan people more than anyone. The best way he could have sent them off was as a unified strength against evil. She was glad that she could still be there for her friend in his time of need, and glad to be on the right side of history.


	41. The Normandy Frat House

After Wrex’s arrival, Jane had quickly realised that her apartment had become something of a  _ Normandy _ frat house. In truth, it had actually started when Garrus and Tali had temporarily moved in with them straight after coming home from Terra Nova. They weren’t planning on staying on the Citadel permanently, which is why Jane and Kaidan had offered them the downstairs bedroom. At this point it had been months though. It had slowly started to get worse from there, especially that weekend that had been reserved for building nursery furniture.

Brynn had been a constant at their house most weekends since Tali had arrived. They quickly had started working together in their free time to help work on Tali’s project of making life livable for quarians outside of their enviro-suits. Brynn had found the idea fascinating after she had heard about it from Diana’s broadcast. She had immediately offered to help when she could, since she hadn’t been working much since Jess was born.

Jacob had the tendency to join them, since Jess was more or less tethered to Brynn, so he would come to help out with the baby, or catch up with the gang. Sometimes Tali would go to their place to make it easier on everyone, but she had already become more accustomed to the environment in Jane’s apartment, so if they wanted to safely test her being out of the suit it usually had to be done there.

Jacob had come that weekend specifically to help Kaidan, Hackett, Ken and Garrus put together furniture. Kaidan had promptly invited Ken over too, since Gabby was going to be joining Shepard to go shopping with Hannah and Ada. He had thought that surely five strong burly men would be able to get the job done easily. Especially having two of said strong burly men that had just done this for their own children recently.

As it turns out, when you get a group of old friends together, and you involve alcohol, barely anything gets done, because it made the directions difficult to read, leaving Hackett and Kaidan to pretty much do everything by themselves the next day.

What it  _ had _ been successful in doing was create this open door policy between all of her friends. There was always someone around. Jane didn’t mind of course. This felt a lot more like how things were back on the ship, just with the added benefit of most people going home at the end of the day. She had missed this. The lively chatter, and close bonds. The shared camaraderie. What she didn’t love is not having the energy to deal with any of them.

She was spending more and more time in bed, usually just taking longer to get out of it in the morning, and falling into it earlier each night, but she was also starting to come home earlier each work day to get off of her feet, and rest her back. Now if it wasn’t for the damn heartburn, then her bed would be the perfect place on the Citadel.

On this particular morning, the house had already become a bustle, but Jane was having a particularly hard time getting out of bed, since her child had decided that what was supposed to be Jane’s bedtime would be the best time to wake up and practice moving. Dr. Chakwas had told her that it was fairly normal for all of the movement throughout the day to rock babies to sleep in the womb, which in turn, meant that it was common for wakeful hours to be when you were calm and still, and typically in bed trying desperately to sleep.

_ “All just practice for the real thing,” _ Chakwas had laughed at her doctor’s appointment the previous day, trying to prepare her for the sleepless nights in store for her. She had been 36 weeks on the dot, to which point, Karin had informed her that she was now considered term. If she were to deliver the baby at any time, there would likely be no medical ramifications. Technically still early term, so best to keep the baby in, but at least it was enough to not have to worry about going into labour unexpectedly anymore. Now she just had equal worry about it possibly happening late, because Jane had almost had enough of this. She was still happy, and grateful, but extremely uncomfortable and tired, and there was nothing to be done except wait. Something for which she had never been good at.

Kaidan had just walked into the room to make sure she was okay. At this point, he was usually the only reason she ever managed to get out of bed, because she would have rather stayed their in comfort most of the time. But Kaidan knew her well enough to know that she would be upset with herself if she wasted the days away, which is why he always came to get her.

He usually liked to watch her for at least a few minutes before rousing her. The times where his wife was calm and at rest were among her most beautiful, and something that almost no one else got to see. Plus, he took pleasure in contemplating about when his bed had become more pillows than people. It had become quite a site, the nest that Jane had created for herself. He didn’t particularly care for the distance that they had created between he and his wife as they slept, but if it was what Jane needed to get some rest and be comfortable, he would gladly put up with it for her.

But now was the time to wake her, which was even better. He got to take away the pillows from her back, and cuddle up next to her. Something that he missed, and the best way to wake up if he had any say in the matter.

“I was wondering when you were finally going to join me,” she said, as he tucked his arm around her, feeling their child put up quite a fight.

“How did you know I was here?”

“My eyes may have been closed, but I basically never sleep anymore. Not to mention that you’ve become predictable,” she said with a smile, still keeping her eyes closed, wanting to fight getting out of bed for as long as possible.

“Hmm. Of course. I guess I really should have known better,” he said, brushing her hair out of her face and away from her shoulder so he could kiss it. “So, how are you feeling today?”

She looked down at where his hand rested, and joined hers on top of it, and let out a big sigh.

“That bad huh?”

“It feels like someone filled my pelvis with cement. I’m practically breathing fire over here, and I’m lucky if I only have to go to the bathroom once every half hour. I think I’m just ready for this to be over.”

“It won’t be much longer.”

She smiled at the sentiment, almost bittersweet. She really was ready for this to be over, but she already knew that she would miss it.  _ What was wrong with her? _

“So, who’s here today?” Jane finally asked, knowing that her house must be full of life, despite her not gracing anyone with her presence.

“It’s a full house today. Liara’s holed herself up in the office with Samantha--”

“As long as they’re not using it how we use my office…”

Kaidan smiled at that. He was pretty sure they weren’t with how much work needed to be done, but who knew. “Wrex and Garrus were catching up. Tali, Brynn, Gabby and Ken were all working on something. It sounded like Tali was close to some kind of breakthrough. Grunt was watching the security feeds, talking to himself. We even have a few new drop-ins today. Steve has a break from shuttling, and Vega’s here. I’m not sure if his training is done or if he just has time off. I haven’t had a chance to actually talk to him much. He only just got here.”

“I almost wouldn’t put it past him to be done already. I’d be upset if we missed his awards ceremony though.”

“He missed someone on that list,” came a voice from the door. “I’m not interrupting anything am I?” 

Kaidan and Jane both turned to see Miranda leaning against the frame.

“That’s quite the view. Your bed is enormous, and yet the two of you are only taking up one third of it. How adorable.”

“Miranda? What are you doing here?”

“I may have hit a bit of a lull in my work, and had time for a visit. I’ve brought Oriana, I hope that’s alright.”

“Of course. You can come in if you want. I tend to get up much more slowly these days.”

“I’ll just give you two a minute,” Kaidan said, kissing Jane’s cheek as he stood to leave.

Miranda moved in to the room, and opted to sit on the empty side of the bed, resting her back against the headboard after taking her boots off.

“Well don’t you look quite comfortable in there. It’s a bit of a change to see you pampering yourself.”

“Pampering yes, comfortable is debatable. I swear I can’t even fathom having four weeks left. There’s nowhere else for this kid to grow.”

“Mmm. I’m sure it’ll find the space somewhere,” she said, teasingly.

“Yeah, I just wish she’d find the space outside of me already,” Jane grumbled.

Miranda laughed, resulting in an evil glare. She put her hands up as an apology. “So, do you have any names picked out yet?”

“Yes, but we’re not telling anyone.”

“Oh come on, I’m good with secrets.”

“Sorry, not gonna happen. Besides, we want to wait to make sure they’re good fits anyway, so I don’t want to go telling you now, only to change it later.”

“Fair enough,” Miranda said, knowing that she wouldn’t be getting an answer.

“So why are you really here, Miranda?” Jane asked, after a moment of silence.

“What? I’m not allowed to have time off?”

“This is you, we’re talking about here. I’m sure you’re still working even now.”

“Am I really that obvious?”

“Only to me,” Jane said with a smile. “But it’s not just you. Everyone just seems to be hovering around me lately.”

“Well, you’ve always been there for us in our times of need. Is it really that hard to believe people would come for you?”

“I guess it’s just a bit odd having the roles reversed.”

“I suppose it is quite a change for you, but especially as you get so close to your due date, and with the state of affairs these days, I think everyone just wants to make sure you’re okay.”

“Ugh, yeah. I wish that could all be over with already.”

“Well, that’s why Wrex is here, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, but I’m also not so naive to believe that anymore,” Jane said, finally sitting up to rest her back against the headboard like Miranda. “Sure, Wrex is here to stop this threat, but it’ll never be over with. Not really. There will always be someone to take their place. Just like Cerberus. Even with the illusive man gone, I know they’re out there somewhere quietly regrouping. Because these organizations are more than a person or a leader, they’re warped ideals that won’t ever die out completely.”

Miranda let out a sigh. “I’m afraid you’re probably right. There were so many Cerberus cells out there that barely even knew about the illusive man, and yet they still stood for horrible things. They were the parts of Cerberus I didn’t even agree with while I was with them.”

Jane just hummed and nodded in acknowledgement. “Well anyway, that can be tomorrow’s problem. You’re not here every day, we should catch up. How long are you here for?”

Miranda turned to look Jane in the eye, “Indefinitely.”

“What? You’re not serious.”

“Quite, I’m afraid. Hackett’s had me transferred.”

“That wasn’t for me, was it?”

“It might have been. But it doesn’t matter, there’s plenty for me to do here. I can’t say that I mind the change. In fact, it might be nice. If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t exactly make friends easily. It’ll be nice to be around all of you again.”

“It’ll be nice to have you back too. I’ve missed you,” Shepard said, moving to hold Miranda’s hand, wanting to show her how much she meant it, without having to get up and give her a real hug like a civilized person.

“Thank you, Shepard,” Miranda said, tightening her grip, to let Jane know that the sentiment was shared. “By the way, Jack sends her regards. She’s busy on the new Grissom Academy, and wasn’t able to make it. A lot of her kids were orphaned during the war. She said she needs to be there for them right now.”

“Good. Someone should be.”

“I never would have expected jack to be the right one for the job.”

“I don’t know. I think she might be the best person for it.”

“Oh, I’m not disagreeing. It’s just that she’s come so far from when we first met her. She used to be so angry, but she’s become so patient.”

“Clearly. I almost can’t believe she’s in contact with you of her own choosing.”

“Well, I may have been the one to contact her. When matters with you are involved, she doesn’t mind speaking to me. I wouldn’t say that we’re friends, but at least we tolerate each other now.”

“It’s honestly more than I ever would have expected. As much as I’d like to see her, it’s not exactly necessary. I have enough babysitters as it is right now,” Jane laughed. “And she’s where she needs to be. That’s good.”

“Indeed, she is,” Miranda agreed, knowing that it was both good for the students as well as Jack herself to be at Grissom right now. They needed each other.

“So, how’s Oriana?”

“Good. Hackett’s been lovely and placed her in rebuilding strategy, mostly as a learning position. It’s been invaluable for teaching her about colonization efforts. I think if anything, it’s only affirmed what she wants to do. She’s been talking about going to Horizon once the relays are open. She wants to help fix Sanctuary. I think she considers it somewhat of a personal burden that needs to be rectified. She blames herself for not being able to stop our father.”

“That’s not exactly fair.”

“No, it’s not. I’ve even gone as far as to say that he wasn’t our father. He never was. We just unfortunately happened to share his DNA. But I think she needs to make a point in proving to herself that she’s not like him. I can’t blame her for that. I’ve gone through my own issues with it after all. I think it’ll be good for her in the long run.”

Jane nodded, understanding the sentiment. “You’re probably right. I just hope she doesn’t feel responsible. But anyway, speaking of her, I guess it’s about time I got out of bed to greet her for myself, not to mention Steve and James.”

“Well you’re not going to hear any demands from me, but I’m pretty sure they would all like to see you.”

“Me too. You may not be making any demands of me, but my bladder sure is. If you’ll excuse me,” she said, finally getting out of bed and waddling to the bathroom.

Miranda couldn’t help but laugh to herself after Jane closed the bathroom door. She never would have imagined witnessing her friend in such a state, taking advantage of comforts and being laid back. It was nice to see her finally taking moments for herself, letting the rest of the galaxy worry about their own problems for once, even if she was still helping. The point was, that it didn’t rely on Shepard alone this time, and for that, Miranda was grateful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And just like that it's almost over. The next one's a long one. As in more than 10k+ words. Thanks for sticking with me to everyone who's made it this far.


	42. Much Abides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains part of the poem "Ulysses" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Two more weeks had passed. The MWII offices had been particularly busy, especially with Wrex being here, trying to help things along as best he could. They had been newly opened with the Citadel after their renovations had been completed, right next to the embassies.

It also happened to be close to where Kaidan was working these days. Soon after the initiative opened, he too had been accepted as a member, as with many other distinguished people. Captain Kirrahe had come on as one of the salarian representatives. Barla Von had been considered an asset with his information brokering, as well as many others. Kaidan hadn’t been taking much of an active role, simply because he already had too many obligations, but he was involved with this particular case because of how much it affected his role as head of council security, so he had been hanging around in the offices a bit more often lately.

There had been a steady recruitment to the initiative ever since its announcement. A lot of old soldiers from all races that had been tired of fighting and wanted to focus on peace had signed up. They had been reserved for deployment in areas that needed protection, so a lot of them had been shipped out to the relays that were being worked on as of late. Whereas the more distinguished officers had taken over more of the diplomatic and investigator roles.

Wrex was working closely with the Initiative. Technically he was a part of the MWII itself, though with this case in particular being something so closely tied to him personally, he had recused himself from some of the information simply to ensure that no one would suspect him. He had taken himself off of the case in terms of the investigation itself, and instead was only helping them by providing any and all information that had come his way.

Wrex had been working closely with Liara even before he managed to get back to the Citadel. Her line of communication had been one of the only ones he had even vaguely trusted not to be hacked. She had been the one who found the registrations to all of the serial numbers of the ships used in the attacks, which had ended up being one of the clues that the attacks had been done by the krogan alone. Each and every one of the ships used had all been derelict, floating in space at the end of the war, stolen and repurposed.

The krogans had not been allowed to have their own space vessels thanks to their rebellion, so finding out the source had been a red flag. Someone had been planning this for a long time. The end of the War had simply provided them with opportunity, thanks to so much space junk being left floating around.

Kaidan and Wrex had both been discussing something, when Liara came running over to them.

“You guys! I think we might have a security problem!” she said, showing the viewport of the datapad she was carrying.

That’s when Wrex grabbed her hand, bringing the datapad closer to his face to make sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing.

That’s when he let out a large grumble, and nothing else, before making Kaidan take him to C-Sec.

\---

Jane had been pacing in her office, trying to keep things quiet while Gabby was trying to sleep. With how unbearable her condition had been getting, sometimes she needed to just get up and walk around if only to loosen things up again. Even with how uncomfortable she was getting, there was too much that still needed to be done. She was determined to keep working until she went into labour. She had even opted to wear her comfortable clothes, since her requisitioned maternity admiral’s outfit didn’t even fit her anymore.

Typically most people would have gone on leave at this point, or so she had been told by almost every other admiral to cross paths with her. As much as she considered it sometimes, she knew she would have a hard time sitting still at home knowing everything that would need to be done here still. It would be different with a newborn distracting her. Then there would be something to take her attention, but without that, she would be a bored wreck at home alone all day. As busy as her house was during the evenings and weekends, everyone was busy with their own work throughout the day.

As Jane was pacing, reading a report, she had suddenly been overcome with a ripple of pain over her abdomen. She had been having what she thought to be false labour all morning. It had added to her discomfort, but hadn’t been much more than that until now. This one was enough for her to drop the datapad.

Gabby had been somewhat startled awake by the noise. She turned to see Jane hunched over, using her desk to support her.

“Shepard? Are you okay?” she asked, as she walked over to her side.

“Yeah. I’ve just been having braxton hicks all day, but that one kind of took me by surprise.”

“Are you sure they’re only braxton hicks? Have you been timing them?”

“They calmed down a bit after I drank some water and lied down earlier, so I haven’t been since then. That last one was definitely worse though.”

“Okay,” Gabby said, opening up her omni-tool, going to the program that she had already downloaded for herself. “Tell me when it happens again, if it does.”

Jane nodded as she started pacing again. She had been wanting to go into labour for the last two weeks, but somehow she hadn’t expected it to actually happen this early. The possibility for it had totally taken her by surprise, not to mention the fact that she had been having contractions here and there for days now. She hadn’t thought this morning was any different when she came in to work..

Gabby had been watching her, expectantly. Just as they had both thought that another one wasn’t going to happen, sure enough, it did. Gabby started the timer, and looked at the clock, estimating that about 8 minutes had passed since the end of her last one. This one lasted for another minute and a half, making Gabby think that these weren’t Braxton hicks at all.

“I think you’re in labour, Shepard.”

“Shit, I think you might be right,” she said, taking in a deep breath and standing up properly again.

“Do you want me to help you get home?”

“No, I think I’ll just call Kaidan.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll at least stay with you until--,” she had been cut off by a loud blaring alarm, and the little red warning light going off in the corner of Shepard’s office. The siren had been followed by an announcement:

_::This is C-Sec informing you of an urgent situation. We are placing the Citadel under lockdown. Please stay where you are until further notice, and stay posted for updates.::_

Of course this would be happening now, because this was her life after all. Jane didn’t heed the warning, trying to exit her office, even if only to get an update from her security.

“Ma’am, you can’t be out here right now,” one of the guards said.

“Relax, I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on.”

“We don’t know yet, ma’am. We’ve just been given orders to make sure no one moves.”

“Perfect. You don’t have any idea how long this is going to take, do you?”

“No. We’ll come get you as soon as we know more, but for now, I’m going to have to ask you to go back inside.”

She then shared a look with Grunt across the hall, who offered nothing other than his namesake. He had stationed himself there as soon as he had arrived on the Citadel, and hadn’t left that posting for anything other than going back to his temporary housing at the end of the day, or hanging out at Shepard’s apartment whenever he was welcome. She looked in both directions down the hallway and saw nothing, but she didn’t exactly want to test fate by trying to leave now. She just retreated back into her office, noticing the door holo turn red behind her. Luckily it didn’t sound like they were planning on keeping the siren on the whole time. Just the flashing lights, which was at least tolerable.

“Well... shit,” Gabby said, as she had heard the whole thing.

“Well, shit,” Jane confirmed, as another contraction hit her.

7 minutes apart this time. Still early labour, but definitely not braxton hicks.

“What are we going to do?” Gabby asked. Not exactly wanting to burden Shepard with something else to have to think about at the moment, but needing to know what she wanted to do.

Jane just stood there for a second, keeping her breathing even, trying to think.

“I’ll call Kaidan. Maybe he knows something. I can at least tell him what’s going on.”

She brought up her omni-tool and put the call through.

“Hey, Jane, I can’t really talk right now, there’s some serious shit hitting the fan,” he had answered immediately.

“So I’ve noticed, but you’re not the only one having to deal with some urgency. It seems as though our child has decided on the most inopportune time to make their arrival.”

She could see that Kaidan had been running somewhere, only to stop dead in his tracks, and pay closer attention to the holographic display.

“What? You can’t be serious.”

“I’m afraid I am. I was having contractions all morning, but I didn’t think it was real labour until maybe 20 minutes ago.”

“Okay,” Kaidan said, looking around, trying to figure something out.

“What’s going on, Kaidan?”

“Don’t worry about that right now, okay? You don’t need the added stress. Stay where you are. That’s the safest thing for you right now. I’m going to try to make my way over to you, but there are some things I have to deal with right now.”

“Okay, just be careful please. I don’t want our child's birthday to simultaneously be one of the worst days of my life,” she said, being entirely serious, though exuding nothing but her calm, commanding demeanor. Kaidan was capable. He didn’t make it into the Spectres for no reason. She was confident that he could deal with whatever was going on, but it was still scary that he was keeping things from her. The fact that whatever was going on was serious enough for him to potentially miss this was a scary one though, and one she couldn’t fully ignore.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be careful. Are you alone?”

“No. Gabby’s here.”

“Okay, good. If you need to, have her call Chakwas for advice.”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Jane. You’re going to be okay. I promise I’ll try to be there as fast as I can. I’m sorry if I don’t make it in time. You have no idea how much it’ll kill me if I miss it.”

“It’s okay, Kaidan. Just make sure you come back to me. To us,” she clarified. “I love you too,” she said hanging up the call. Luckily she was good at hiding how she was really feeling, because internally she was beginning to panic, realising just how much shit she might be in. She was stuck in her office, in labour, with only her pregnant friend to help her, quite possibly while they were under attack. Nothing about this seemed okay.

\---

Wrex had been tight-lipped about what specifically he had seen on Liara’s datapad, but they were all in a rush despite that, because everyone else had seen that there were krogan forces with a nuke in the presidium elevator.

C-Sec’s offices were close to the embassies, and they had wanted to check other security feeds, and alert the authorities. As they had gotten to the offices, they quickly found out why there hadn’t already been alerts made, as the hallways were scattered with dead bodies, and two krogan guards outside of the vid feeds. The entire time, Liara couldn’t help but feel a horrible sense of deja vu from when Cerberus had done the same thing during the war.

The vid feeds had been even more revealing, showing more than one nuke, and a lot more krogan. They were placing the bombs in dispersed locations in what seemed like an orchestrated attack to destroy the Citadel. The krogan weren’t leaving anyone in their wake. That’s when Kaidan decided to hit the lockdown button, which elicited a general lockdown message that had been pre-recorded.

He was hoping that his assumptions would be right that if the krogan were locked in with them, they wouldn’t allow the bombs to go off. He knew that theory technically went against their M-O from their previous attacks, but he was hoping the leader was here this time, making them want to reconsider. He was afraid that if he had started a Citadel wide evacuation order, it would likely only cause pandemonium, impeding their possibility to stop the attack, and quite possibly more death in peoples attempted escape, whether that be by trampling trying to get out, or by civilians running into unsympathetic terrorists, it didn’t really matter. He just knew there would be death either way, and he had hope that his team would be able to stop the threat in time, making this the better option.

Wrex had been studying each screen looking for something, and that’s when he saw it, letting out a guttural roar.

“What is it, Wrex?” Kaidan asked.

Wrex pointed, and bashed on the screen that he was looking at. “That idiot! That’s Urdnot Wreav, my broodbrother,” he said shaking his head. “I thought he died when we were summoning Kalros, otherwise I might have guessed. He’s never liked the way I’ve done things, and he’s always had a nasty penchant for hoarding weapons of mass destruction.”

“Well that’s just perfect. We have to stop them before they have a chance to arm anything.”

“Right. I know without a doubt, that he’s the leader. We go to him.”

“Alright. Let’s not waste anymore time then. Liara, comm the rest of the MWII, let them know what’s going on. Have someone come here and monitor things, and send people off to locations with the nukes, while we go after Wreav.”

They all started running as Liara put the orders through, and that’s when Kaidan had been stalled in the hallway totally being taken aback by his wife’s call.

\---

Shepard had just hung up with Kaidan as another contraction hit her, the discomfort and shock of everything else going on around her was enough to make her want to be off of her feet. She opted to kneel on the floor in front of the couch, resting her elbows on the cushions for support.

“Are they getting worse, Shepard?”

“A little, yeah.”

That’s when her office door opened, which had startled Gabby and Jane enough to bolt their heads towards it, Jane reflexively going to where her back holster normally would have been, except she hadn’t been wearing it for most of the year. They easily relaxed as soon as they saw that it was only Hannah and Miranda walking in.

“Mom? How did you get in?”

“How do you think? The same way I do everything, barge my way through. I wasn’t about to leave my heavily pregnant daughter alone during a lockdown,” Hannah said, as she started taking in the scene in front of her. “Why the hell are you on the floor, Jane?”

“I’ll give you two guesses.”

“You can’t be serious,” Miranda said.

“I’m afraid so. Gabby’s been timing my contractions.”

Miranda and Hannah looked over to Gabby, who nodded her head.

“6-7 minutes apart, lasting for at least a minute.”

And just like that, another one hit her. Her mother took off her admiral’s jacket and hung it up, getting more comfortable, before she sat behind her daughter, starting to massage her lower back.

“Is that good?”

“Yeah,” she said, her voice pained. “It helps.”

“Make that 5-6 minutes,” Gabby chimed in.

Miranda sat down next to Jane’s head.

“How can I help, Shepard?”

“I don’t know,” she said, her voice calming down again. “Do you know how to deliver babies?”

Miranda had almost thought that she was joking, but of course Jane would be trying to think of a backup plan should they not be able to make it out of here in time.

“I’ve never done it before, but I at least have some minor medical training. If I could be guided through it, I’m sure I’d be capable,” Miranda said, calmly but honestly. She didn’t want to give Shepard the impression that she would be some miracle worker in the department, but Miranda had proven to excel in everything that she did. If she had time to research this now, and get Chakwas on the line, she was confident that she would be able to do it as long as there were no complications.

“Okay, well that’s at least better than my options a few minutes ago. Not to discredit you, Gabby.”

“That’s okay, Shepard. You have no idea how much I would have been panicking in your shoes. I mean, it was hard to not panic in my own shoes.”

“You were doing fine, Gabby,” Jane said, to reassure her friend. She really had been a big help up until that point, but she also would have preferred a medical professional. At least now this was more to work with.

They more or less stayed like that for another half hour. Gabby kept timing contractions, Miranda had gotten in contact with Dr. Chakwas who had promptly sent her some reading materials, and told Miranda to call her back if they were worried about anything. She had stated that she would also try to get out, but security around Huerta was strict about following the advisory. Hannah had completely taken over the role of emotional support, doing whatever her daughter needed to feel a bit more comfortable, and massaging her back during contractions. It was still early enough in labour that Jane was able to be coherent and talk through it all, even when the pain was bad.

Jane had more or less stayed in the same position, resting the top of her torso on the couch, kneeling with her legs slightly open to try to promote the baby to come down. As much as her mind might have wanted to delay this for as long as possible thanks to whatever security threat was going on, her body was having other ideas. The pain was productive, pushing her towards an end goal whether she wanted it to happen or not, and instinct was telling her to help it along in whichever way she could.

And that’s when her water broke. It wasn’t like how it was in the vids. It wasn’t this gushing flood coming from between her legs, though Chakwas had warned her that it was indeed a possibility, all depending on where her membranes ruptured. But no, this was more like a sudden spurt that turned into a trickle. She almost had to question if she had peed herself, something for which could have easily been possible over the last month, but it had pretty clearly felt different, not to mention still feeling like she could pee. She was glad that it had happened this way though, saving her mother from needing to take a bath, as she had been sitting right behind her.

Everyone had been pretty sure already that this wasn’t just false labour, but now there was no question, and no turning back, and now they were working on at least somewhat of a timeline. With how things were progressing, Jane didn’t think that it would be an issue, but Dr. Chakwas had informed her that the longer it takes to deliver the baby after her water breaks, the greater the risk of infection, so now at the very least they had to keep an eye on the clock on top of everything else.

“Shit,” she said before hissing out in pain.

“What?” Hannah said, rubbing Jane’s back again, as everyone looked over to her.

After the contraction passed, Jane changed position slightly, feeling more water trickle. “My water broke.”

“Dr. Chakwas said you should try to check the colouration to make sure everything is healthy,” Miranda said.

Hannah looked from Miranda, to Jane. “If you think you could stand for a while, it might feel nice to be in the shower. The warm water will probably help with the pain. We can go get you out of these clothes, and check everything first.”

“Yeah. Okay, that sounds good actually,” she said, as she tried to stand up. Miranda and Hannah helped her to her feet, then Hannah helped her into the bathroom. Her mother knelt in front of her, letting Jane rest her weight on her as she helped Jane take her pants off.

“Why do I suddenly feel like I’m three years old again?” Jane said with a laugh, before another contraction hit, making her dig her nails into Hannah’s shoulders. “Oh, fuck it, I don’t even care,” she groaned out, as the contraction ended.

“It’s quite alright, Jane. It’s perfectly normal to need some help in a situation like this. Besides, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

Jane stepped out of her pants and underwear, and she took her sweater and t-shirt off, opting to leave her sports bra on for now, because she didn’t exactly plan on taking a real shower, just using the water to spray on her lower back. Besides, if her bra got wet it wouldn’t be a big deal. Hannah started warming the shower water as Jane grabbed some toilet paper to check the colour of the amniotic fluid. It was mostly clear but tinged pink. Jane looked worriedly at it wondering if it was blood, then looked to her mother who glanced at it before opening the door to get Miranda’s attention.

Gabby was on a cal, trying to avert her gaze, and give them all some privacy.

“Miranda?” Hannah called, warranting her to come over.

She was already on the line with Chakwas again, as she looked at the toilet paper herself, totally unfazed by Jane’s state. “It’s slightly pink,” Miranda relayed to Karin.

“Can you show me?” Karin asked, as Miranda moved the viewport of her omni-tool. “That’s perfectly normal. I don’t expect any change, but keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn’t get worse. Some bleeding is normal, a lot is not, that was nothing to be concerned about though,” she said to Miranda.

“As for you, Jane, you’re doing wonderfully,” Karin said, trying to keep her patient in high spirits. “I know this isn’t ideal, but you have a perfect support team with you right now, and I’ve reserved my time to deal with you and only you, so as long as the comms don’t go down, I’m at least available over omni-tool. I have Ada here with me, and we’re waiting to go as soon as the lockdown’s over with.”

Jane just nodded through a contraction.

“It looks like she’s progressing well. Checking dilation is a good reference point to make sure that things aren’t slowing down to a dangerous degree, and to have an estimate as to where she’s at, but it’s also not exactly vital, unless a lot of time passes. Her body will know what it needs, so I’d say don’t bother at least for a few hours unless she wants to know,” Karin added to Miranda.

“Okay. Thank you, Dr. Chakwas. I’ll call you if anything changes,” Miranda said, before hanging up. “I’ll just leave you to it. Call me if you need me,” she said to the pair in the room.

Hannah nodded as her answer, prodding Miranda to leave the bathroom, making sure the door closed behind her.

Hannah ushered her daughter into the shower, where she could see a brief sense of calm wash over Jane.

“Feel better?”

“Mhmm,” was all Jane said, as she leaned with her arms out for support against the cool tile. The warmth definitely at least eased the achiness, and offered something else to draw her attention to.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Jane turned her head to her mother, eyes only open a slit.

“If you don’t mind,” she said, not wanting to admit how much she didn’t want to be alone right now, even if she was starting to barely realise there were people around her at all. The pain was definitely starting to get worse, taking up more of her concentration.

“Of course I don’t. I’m here for anything you need, okay. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed to ask anything.”

Jane just nodded, hissing in pain. The contractions had definitely started to pick up a bit since her water broke.

Hannah moved to massage Jane’s lower back again even though it was harder now that she was trying to stay out of the water.

“You really are doing amazingly well. I know this probably wasn’t your plan, though knowing you, who knows.”

Jane laughed at that. She was glad that she could at least still laugh for the time being, and Hannah smiled at her daughters strength.

She went back to focusing on the water, almost providing a meditative relief. It was currently the thing that was helping her the most. She definitely felt like she could waste at least a bit of time in here, and figured she’d have to whether she liked it or not.

\---

Kaidan, Wrex and Liara had all finally made it up to the council chambers with less fuss than they would have thought. They figured even with how many recruits Wreav must have, they were all mostly busy with their other tasks, (like wide dispersal of the nukes) to worry too much about taking over other parts of the Citadel. That being said, as clear as their path was up until this point, they were then met by a large krogan force trying to hold them off at the main bomb site.

Between the three old comrades, and biotics at that, they made relatively quick and easy work of the fodder between them and the bomb site. The three of them ran up the stairs, towards the podium. Kaidan couldn’t help but realise how familiar this was to when he ran after Saren with Shepard and Garrus in tow.

Wreav was alone on the walkway, crouched, trying to arm the bomb.

“Wreav!” Wrex yelled out in his deep bass. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, you fool?!”

Wreav stood to offer them his attention. He was the one with the Nuke after all, and he didn’t think they were in the position for bargaining.

“Wrex. I’m surprised you even had the quad to come up here and deal with me face to face. Here I was thinking that female of yours tainted your will to fight.”

“Hardly. She’s just taught me a thing or two about what it really means to be a krogan,” he said, drawing his weapon, prepared for a fight. Kaidan and Liara followed suit, letting Wrex take the lead.

“Hah! And here I was, thinking that you’d completely forgotten what it is to be one of us.”

“Maybe you should enlighten me if you think you’re the one with all the answers.”

“Sure. I don’t mind showing you the errors of your ways, even if it’s only to rub it in your face before your death.”

“Heh. I’d like to see you try. Answers. Now!”

“For one, you’re weak. It’s laughable to think that you consider yourself to be a krogan. You’re the weakest leader our people have ever seen as far as I’m concerned. We’ve been given the gift of a cure for our people. We can finally have children again. We’re not on the verge of dying out anymore, and you fail to even see the potential. We could easily have produced 10 billion krogan offspring by now, creating strong armies. But what do you do instead? You put a population limit in place! It’s like you’re content to keep us as pawns of all the other races, when we don’t need to be anymore. We’re stronger than all of them combined. We have power and importance that you’re not willing to fight for. It’s everyone else’s turn to feel what it’s like to be the peons of this galaxy. You don’t even care about sentencing the salarians or turians for what they did to us.”

“That’s because the salarians and turians alive today aren’t the same ones that sentenced us to death!” Wrex yelled at him. “They’re the ones that worked with us to get everything back. Your big head is stuck living in the past in all the wrong ways. All you see is how we’ve been wronged, and you’re unwilling to accept that we played a hand in where we ended up. The lesson you should have been learning from our history is that the type of things you’re doing now… this road you’re going down, it’s one that we’ve already been down before. Did you learn nothing from the krogan rebellions? This is the exact type of behaviour that landed us with the Genophage in the first place.”

“But that wasn’t our fault! The salarians conditioned us to be warriors. It’s their fault we’re even like this. It’s their fault we retaliated.”

“That may be true, but are you really so simple minded to think we’re not capable of change? The salarians didn’t sentence us to be like that forever. It’s an unsustainable way to live and grow as a species. And that aside, we’re the ones who then placed our importance over everyone else's. We were running out of land and resources, and Overlord Kredak thought he was owed something he wasn’t. We don’t take over other people's worlds, we don’t kill innocents just to steal resources to have a population that we don’t need, and we definitely don’t go blowing up the citadel and everyone trying to help bring the galaxy back together! Now is the time to learn from our mistakes. To learn our limits, and listen to the constraints of our planets. Just because our young age rapidly, and we’re capable of having an abundance of children, doesn’t mean we should.”

“And why not? Our strength in numbers is something that no other race can contend with. We need to value this gift, and use it to its full potential.”

“The same way you value the lives of the people that have mindlessly followed you through your misguided attempts at domination?”

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. They didn’t matter. Our numbers will replace them and more within the month.”

“And that’s what _I’m_ talking about. Instead of already sentencing our children to more death and war, you should be focusing on valuing the lives that are already here. It’s our time to be fixing relationships, making a peaceful place for all of our children to flourish in.”

“But why? Everyone else is the weaker species. They deserve to be exterminated like the vermin they are. There’s no reason krogans can’t rise to power now, especially while everyone is trapped here, and their numbers are low. It’s the best time to strike! Why can’t you see that?”

“And why can’t you see that your line of thinking would leave krogans to do nothing but kill each other off if we were the only ones left, following mentality like yours. Especially after this war, can you seriously not see that we’re more powerful working together? Diversity and alliances are the only things that allowed us to be successful against the reapers, not brute strength without any consideration for consequence.”

“This is exactly why you shouldn’t be the leader of our peop--”, he said, being cut off by Wrex using his biotics to grab the remote detonator out of his hand. Kaidan and Liara cringed in thankfully unfulfilled anticipation as Wrex crushed it in a cloud of blue.

“I’ve had about enough of your shit. I’m ashamed to share half of my DNA with you!” he said, as he quickly stomped towards his brother. Wreav quickly took a shot with his shotgun, barely clipping wrex in the shoulder before he grabbed Wreav by the neck with his glowing blue hand, and throwing him down onto the ground.

“Now is the time to start thinking with this,” he said, knocking his gloved hand against Wreav’s frontal plate. “Not this,” he then said, kicking him in the quad, making him hunch over in pain. “I’ve had enough of your shit,” he said, finally pulling out his shotgun, and pulling the trigger at Wreav’s temple, having quickly become impatient trying to hear him out or try to get him to see his side of things.

“Good riddance,” Wrex said, turning back to Kaidan and Liara. “If only I had checked to make sure he was dead the first time.”

Kaidan grimaced for half a second at the brutality before getting back to work. “Alright, well that got rid of _one_ of the risks, but if that was the main control for all the bombs, you just screwed up our chance to disarm them all remotely.”

Wrex turned to look at the remote. “Huh… oops.”

\---

Jane had no concept of time at this point, but it had felt like she was standing in the shower for more than an hour, and it didn’t seem to be helping much anymore. At some point she had become too exhausted to hold herself up with her arms, and opted to lean against the cool tiles with her upper body. It had been oddly refreshing. The warm water was helping her back, but she had already been feeling uncomfortably hot, and the tiles were helping counteract that. She also hadn’t noticed that she had started groaning with each contraction.

It was an odd thing. She was used to dealing with pain thanks to her career, and sometimes for long periods of time before whatever the source was able to be tended to. But this was entirely something else. Every other time she was in bad pain was usually caused by some sort of battlefield mishap, which warranted immediate use of emergency meds, and therefore it would wane a bit before staying at a constant.

This was something entirely different. The pain was increasingly getting worse with shorter breaks in between. Breaks that were such a cruel joke in itself, because even though there may not have been pain in those instances, she was just waiting with more anticipation for the next one to happen, leaving no room for any real resting period or anything else.

She hadn’t particularly felt like staying in the shower anymore, but she also didn’t know what she wanted to do. Staying still seemed like a good idea, purely because it needed no thought or action.

“Jane?” Hannah said, rubbing her daughter’s back in a way that was more for comfort than it was for easing tension.

Jane just opened her eyes up blearily in her mother’s direction.

“I can see that they’re getting worse. Do you still want to stay like this?”

“Not really,” she said, before whimpering through another contraction, finally adjusting her posture back to the way she had been before. Hannah waited to respond until after it had passed.

“What would you like to do? You can go lie down on the couch. You could try sitting how you were before. You can do anything that makes you more comfortable.”

“Back to how I was before sounds good.”

“Alright. Let me just go set up some towels or something, and then I’ll help you get out of the shower.”

Jane nodded, before resting her elbows against the tile, breathing through another wave of pain.

Hannah looked through the cabinets to go over the supplies they had, because she had a feeling that unless this lockdown ended soon, there was going to be a baby born here very shortly. Even if it did end soon, it might be too late to move her easily.

She was glad to see a decent supply of clean towels, though not necessarily enough to want to warrant using more than she needed. It would be best to leave that for the baby. She also found a basic medkit. She was glad to see that it might at least have _some_ supplies to help them out, though definitely not everything you would typically have at a birth. She found a robe that Shepard must have been using for when she would take a shower here, and set it out for Jane to use when she was ready to get out of the shower. She had seen a couple of blankets laying on the couch in her office, and figured it might be best to set those down on the floor for Jane.

She took the supplies from the bathroom, and went to set up a little area for Jane to get comfortable in, first checking to see if the red flashing light was still going. Of course it was.

“How’s she doing?” Miranda asked.

“She’s holding in there. I think she’s getting close though.”

“Already? It’s only been a few hours.”

“I know. It’s going quickly. This is my daughter after all. We probably should have expected as much. She’s alert, but barely able to pay attention to anything. I don’t think it’s going to happen immediately or anything, but she’s definitely progressed more.”

“Okay. Best to be prepared then at least.”

“That’s what I was thinking. She’s been getting more restless, and wants to come back to the couch,” Hannah said, as she went to go set things up. She was glad to have been right in finding two blankets out here. She opted to only use one of them for now, folding it up on the floor for Jane to kneel on, trying to save the other one for as long as possible just in case they needed another clean surface later.

“Here, I found this medkit,” Hannah said, passing it to Miranda. “I’m not sure how much you could use, but at least it’s something. You might want to go through it.”

Miranda took the kit over to the desk to go through everything, and started reading more of Dr. Chakwas’ notes again. Gabby just started pacing worryingly, not feeling particularly useful at the moment.

That’s when Hannah got a call to her omni-tool. She saw that it was her husband immediately.

“Oh, Steven. It’s so good to hear from you!”

“Oh thank god, Hannah. I was hoping you would have called me by now,” Hackett said.

“I’m so sorry. I was planning to, but then things sort of started getting out of hand.”

“You could say that again. They won’t let me up there, and it looks like it’s for good reason. They have all transports on Earth on lockdown until the situation’s dealt with. Even the beam.”

“Do you know what’s going on?”

“You don’t? I thought you said things were getting out of hand.”

“Well yes. First the lockdown, but then I made my way over to Jane’s office only to find out she’s in labour.”

“What?! You can’t be serious,” he said, as he started looking more furiously around him like he was about to do something stupid.

“Steven. What are you doing?”

“I’m going to try to find a way up to you.”

“Why? What’s going on? I know they wouldn’t put us in lockdown for no reason, but you’re definitely making me more worried here.”

He stopped looking around for a moment, clearly not wanting to let her know under the circumstances.

“Tali’s at C-Sec right now and just sent me an update about half an hour ago. Krogan forces have infiltrated the Citadel and they’re arming Nukes trying to destroy it.”

Hannah looked to the other two women in the room, trying to keep her calm exterior. She wasn’t too worried about keeping Miranda calm, but she didn’t exactly like that Gabby had been within ear shot. She could see that the information had clearly started to make her panic.

“So what’s being done about it?” she finally asked Hackett.

“Listen, it sounds like you have enough to worry about as it is, but it’s being dealt with. Tali said Kaidan’s taken a small task force to the leader, and they’ve sent out infantry where they could. I’ve authorised use of some of our Alliance personnel, but for the most part, I wanted them to stay and defend your location. You should be in one of the safest places on the Citadel right now, okay, so don’t you even think about moving.”

“Are you sure? If there’s bombs…”

“Tali sounded optimistic. I don’t want you to run the risk of trying to escape with what you’re dealing with right now, but listen. I’m going to make my way up there. I’ll figure something out.”

“Steven,” Hannah said, almost chastisingly, mostly not wanting him to risk his life in the moment.

“Would you do anything differently if our roles were reversed?”

Hannah just stared at his holographic form.

“I didn’t think so. I’ll be safe. I’ll see you soon. I just needed to hear your voice. I love you, Hannah.”

She offered him a soft smile, and a nod, knowing that she wasn’t about to stop him, but worried that he might be the one with more risk if he had been telling the truth about how secured Alliance HQ was. “I love you too, Steven.”

He kissed his fingers and moved them to the camera, eliciting Hannah to do the same, before they disconnected.

Hannah once again looked at the women in the room, glad that Jane at least wasn’t there to hear any of the conversation. Miranda remained somewhat unfazed, still studying Dr. Chakwas’ information, but Hannah could tell Gabby was scared. She wasn’t helpless. She had some military training, thanks to Jane necessitating it, and could handle herself under normal circumstances, but these were anything but. Hannah moved over to her, and brought her into a hug, trying to comfort her as best she could, even if she hadn’t been feeling as optimistic as she was letting on.

“It’s okay, Gabby, we’ll be fine. You heard what he said. We’re in the safest place on the Citadel, and he was optimistic about our success. We’re going to get out of this.”

Gabby just nodded her head as she wiped away a tear, trying to calm down. She knew Shepard would be coming out in a minute anyway, and she didn’t want to add that to everything that she was already dealing with.

“Okay. I’m going to go get Jane. I mean it though, we’ll be fine.”

Hannah went back into the bathroom to witness her daughter, raw and fierce. Taking everything in stride, and not complaining about the hand that she had been dealt. It was enough for her to change her focus back to the matter at hand. The one that she was able to help with at any rate. She didn’t doubt that Jane would really act any differently had she heard the news, but she didn’t want that burdening the situation. Jane was just breathing through it all, still seeming calm as ever, even if she was clearly in pain.

It easily brought her back to her own labour with Jane. It was an odd feeling, to be back there so easily like it was yesterday. To now be witnessing that tiny, ruddy baby she so clearly remembered, suddenly be this grown and powerful woman standing in front of her, about to give life to her own child.

She had been too busy trying to keep Jane comfortable this whole time to have really had much time to think about the fact that she would be meeting her grandchild soon. The thought suddenly hitting her was enough for her to have shed a few tears without even knowing it. She quickly composed herself, knowing that Jane still needed her, and likely with increasingly more desperation.

She moved to turn off the shower. Jane stepped out, and Hannah helped dry her off, as though she still had no idea about what was going on outside the Alliance doors. She then handed Jane the robe that she had found earlier.

“Oh, really?” she said, dismayed. “That’s my favourite robe.”

Hannah, just put her hands on her hips to that, robe clenched in her fist, _‘Really, Jane?’_ she thought. “Listen, I highly doubt anyone out there would care if you preferred to be naked right now under the circumstances, but if all you’re worried about is ruining this robe, I promise, I will buy you 10 more as soon as we’re out of this lockdown. I don’t particularly want you to freeze to death before getting my grandchild here safely.”

Jane clearly didn’t care for the jovial lecture, straining through another contraction, but she had realised that she probably wasn’t thinking clearly. Of course, she had already ruined her clothes, and didn’t really have anything else to wear. She shook her head at herself, and put her hand out to take it. Half way through putting it on, she had to lean on the sink to make it through another wave of pain. Hannah helped her with the other half, and then after it passed, they both walked out together, and Hannah helped her back into the same position she had been in before.

“Do you want me to time contractions again?” Gabby asked.

“That’s probably a good idea. I’ve only been vaguely trying to pay attention to the clock. It’ll probably help to have something more accurate,” Hannah said. It probably wasn’t exactly necessary anymore, but she liked the idea of giving Gabby a purpose to distract her.

“Have you gotten in touch with Ken?” Hannah asked.

“Yeah. He’s okay.”

“Good,” Hannah nodded, glad that they had a chance to speak to each other. She offered Gabby a quiet smile before going to sit beside Jane.

“Do you want me to rub your back again?”

“No. I don’t really want to be touched right now.”

“Okay. Just ask me for anything you need, okay. I’ll be right here.”

As Hannah moved to get up, Jane grabbed her hand quickly, and pulled it in with hers, as she rested her head on top of them. She squeezed the hand with all of her might. Hannah couldn’t care less, and would appreciate any way that her daughter needed her at the moment, even if it would leave her with a broken hand.

\---

Kaidan, Wrex and Liara were all still standing in the council chambers. Kaidan was examining the bomb to see if there might be some remote access to see if there was an override for any bombs that might be connected to it.

Wrex had finally had enough. He grabbed the omni-tool off of Wreav’s wrist, and turned it on, sifting through all of the contacts, finally finding a group communication with his little army. He flicked it on to a live broadcast.

“Alright, all you shitheads. See here,” Wrex said, pointing the viewport to show Wreav’s lifeless body on the ground. “Wreav was weak. He challenged me and he failed. You were following an overzealous fool. Blindly wanting to repeat the mistakes of our ancestors was idiotic. I’m giving you one chance to come back to the real clan Urdnot, by relinquishing your nuclear weapons immediately. If you fail to follow my directions, I will hunt you down personally, and I won’t be as kind to you as I was to my broodbrother. Make your decisions carefully. I expect proof of disarmament through live broadcast as soon as possible.”

Liara had been listening to the conversation, connecting her omni-tool to Wreav’s, and sending the data off to Tali to track the other assailants, and now confirm if they were following through with Wrex’s orders or not. Whichever ones weren’t, would have the peacekeeping forces sent after them, as the MWII had finally organized an offensive.

Kaidan looked between Liara and Wrex, feeling good about the direction things were going in. They had already received a lot of confirmations.

“Do you guys have this?”

“Yes, Kaidan. We’ll be fine. Go to Shepard.”

“Thanks,” he said, turning to start leaving.

“Wait. You shouldn’t go alone, just in case there are some krogan who haven’t gotten the memo in your way,” Wrex said.

“I’ll be fine,” Liara said to the pair. “Go with him. Tali and I have this covered now. I’ll message you if there are problems.”

“Alright. Let’s get out of here then,” Kaidan said, making a run for the elevator.

\---

Jane had been staying in that position on the floor, leaning against the couch, slightly rocking back and forth with the pain. She had started to ignore almost everything going on around her at this point, breathing steadily in and out. It wasn’t really helping much, more just giving her something to focus on. She wasn’t letting out much noise other than the occasional whimper when things got bad enough.

At some point or another, she had thrown off her robe, modesty long lost somewhere around the time that her mother had to help her get undressed. She had originally put it on for the sake of everyone else in the room, but it was just too damn hot. Her mother had stated that they had to turn the temperature up so when the baby was born, it wouldn’t go into shock. Even in her state, Jane couldn’t argue with that logic, but she wasn’t about to put up with it if she could change something about how she was feeling. So what if that meant she was basically naked now, save for her bra. It was inevitably the direction she was headed in anyway.

Then suddenly, something changed. She had slowly started noticing this urgency building in her abdomen, but it had finally gotten to a point that she couldn’t ignore, and it elicited a groaning bellow through gritted teeth.

“Jane?” Hannah asked, gently putting a hand on her daughters shoulder to get her attention.

“I think I have to push,” she said, before letting out another groan. “No. I definitely have to push.”

Miranda was by her side immediately. “I’m sorry, Jane, but I need to see everything properly. I’m going to have to get you to move onto your back.”

She nodded, not particularly caring at this point how it happened, just that it happened.

Hannah helped her lie down on the blanket, letting Jane lean her back against her for support. Gabby moved to her hand, not particularly wanting to just be an onlooker right now, but also not really knowing what else to do. Miranda just monitored the situation for now.

As soon as she was comfortable in her new position, and the first contraction hit, she finally pushed without holding anything back. Her office doors opened just as she was letting out a guttural scream.

They all looked to see Kaidan and Wrex at the door.

“Already? It’s only been a few hours!” Kaidan asked, in shock, running into the room.

“Yes, well it would seem as though your child is an impatient one,” Miranda quipped.

“He’s delivered a baby before,” Jane grunted out.

As soon as they found out she was pregnant, Kaidan had reminisced on the few times that he had to deliver babies. He had been the medic in emergency civilian extractions during his infantry days, and on a couple of occasions there were women in labour. At the very least, he knew how to do it with his medic training. He wouldn’t be as good as a doctor, but at least he had experience.

“Well perhaps we should trade places then,” Miranda said, freeing the space between Jane’s legs for Kaidan. He quickly started taking off his armour, getting rid of everything but his undersuit, leaving it in a messy pile on the floor, and ran to go wash his hands quickly.

“Battlemaster! I heard screaming! Where is your attacker?!” They heard from the door. Grunt had barged his way in.

Wrex just hit him against the head, before escorting him out, seemingly lecturing him again.

Miranda couldn’t hold back a smile at that, as she moved to hold up one of Jane’s legs, knowing the position would make it easier for her to push, letting Jane rest her foot on her chest.

“Gabby, here, do the same thing with that leg.”

She moved to mirror Miranda’s position, trying not to look down, if only to make sure she didn’t traumatise herself, knowing full well that it would be her in that position in only a couple months, though hopefully under better circumstances.

Kaidan came back into the room, taking over Miranda’s old spot.

“Thank god you’re okay. Is the lockdown over?” Hannah asked.

“Not officially, but it should be soon. I think we’ve gotten everything under control. I gave Spectre authority to have someone escort Chakwas and my mom over. They should be here soon.”

“Okay, that’s good.”

“There are some gloves in the medkit there,” Miranda said, pointing to the red kit beside them.

He quickly put on a pair, and then finally got a good look at his wife. She looked exhausted and like the picture of strength, somehow all at once. In a lot of ways, she was more beautiful now than he had ever seen her before, exuding the power that everyone knew her for, but also a tenderness that was well hidden. They looked each other in the eye, finally realising how their life was about to change. It had been something that they knew for months now, but the moment was finally here.

“Are you ready for this?” he asked, with a huge grin, glad that this day had managed to turn out well despite how it had started.

She nodded, as a tear rolled down her cheek.

As Jane pushed again, Kaidan examined her progress, completely happy with how well things were going. “You’re doing great, Jane. I can see the head. It won’t be long now.”

They all continued to support her through each contraction, when her office doors opened again. This time revealing Karin and Ada just as the baby’s head was emerging.

Hannah caught a quick glimpse of Steven outside the door. They shared a look, just knowing that each other was okay, being enough for the both of them for the time being. He wasn’t about to intrude on such a personal moment, and he knew Hannah wouldn’t be leaving at a time like this. He nodded and winked at her before the doors closed, perfectly content to wait for her now that he knew everyone would be fine.

Ada quickly took over Gabby’s spot, who was happy to relinquish it, moving somewhere closer to Jane’s head. Ada just started bawling, having been waiting for this day for the better part of a decade, on top of being upset about what had already transpired earlier in the day.

Karin took a quick look at the progress, and told Kaidan to stay where he was. The baby was going to be out in a second. Better not to be switching out the people catching it. Instead she went and grabbed one of the towels on the couch, and laid it over Jane’s chest, getting ready to put the baby there immediately after birth. Then she grabbed her bag with all of the other tools that she would need to examine the baby.

With another push, the baby was out. Kaidan quickly placed it on Jane’s chest, his eyes bleary with tears. Jane just looked down in awe, coming out of the fog of labour almost immediately, hardly believing that it was finally over. The baby’s cries filled the room, providing everyone some relief, and to which Miranda had even shed a tear that she quickly wiped away. Dr. Chakwas wiped the baby down with the towel, cleaning off all of the afterbirth, and giving it a quick once over. Ada couldn’t stop sobbing.

“Ada, get yourself together, woman. You’re supposed to be helping me,” Chakwas said, jokingly. They had developed a jovial friendship of their own in the few months that they had been working together at Huerta. Hannah couldn’t help but smile at the exchange.

Karin took a bulb syringe to get any excess water out of the baby’s airway, and was happy with the colouration and how responsive it was.

“It looks like you have a completely happy and healthy baby girl,” Chakwas smiled at Jane.

Jane just laughed at that. She had already felt that she was right in assuming so anyway, so she wasn’t entirely surprised, but she laughed because she had remembered her conversation with Kaidan all those months ago, fearing that she wouldn’t know what to do with a girl. Kaidan was nothing but ecstatic. He hadn’t cared either way, but Jane could already see that Kaidan was envisioning his future with a daughter in it. She would be a daddy’s girl. Jane could already feel it.

Jane was happy beyond belief, but she couldn’t help but remember her own youth, and even adulthood. Shepard women were different. They broke the mold. She and Kaidan would have their hands full; of that she had no doubt, but it would all be worth it if she could have as good of a relationship with her daughter that she shared with her mother in the end.

Kaidan had traded places with Dr. Chakwas now, so he could get a good look at his daughter, and she could fix up whatever damage was done, as well as help clean Shepard off. Ada had finally calmed herself to the point that she could help Karin at least a bit more.

Kaidan gave Jane a passionate kiss, proud for everything that she had managed to go through to get here. Thankful for what she had given him. Given them.

“I love you,” He said, caressing her face.

“I love you too,” she said, gazing into his eyes. “What would I ever do without you?”

“You’ll never find out,” he said, repeating his words from their time on the Citadel before the end of the war, and finally believing them. He gave her another chaste kiss, before lowering again to look at their daughter.

Hannah rubbed Jane’s arms as a source of comfort, overjoyed with how well everything went under the circumstances, and grateful to have been a part of it.

“Do you have a name?” Hannah asked.

Jane looked down at her daughter, trying to see her face properly to make sure their choice would fit. She was still a wet, floppy mess, with only the tiniest bit of black hair starting to come through; but already opening her eyes, and taking in her tiny world around her.

The name they had was something that she and Kaidan had put a lot of thought into, coming up with a lot of options to cover all their bases, though they had their first choices. They had deliberated over honouring the dead, which in its own way would have been special, but this war had left them with too many names to choose from for that, and they figured their child would already be saddled with enough of a legacy to uphold. Instead, they had opted for something original. Something that would be uniquely their child. Something that fit.

Jane was satisfied with their choice, and looked to Kaidan for confirmation. He nodded slightly with a smile, to indicate his agreement.

“Astraea. Raea for short.”

It meant starry night. Goddess of purity and innocence. Something that she depicted wholly and completely in this moment, but not something they would hold her to. They looked forward to the experiences they would share with this new blank slate, and going through all of her mistakes and successes right by her side, as though they were their own; guiding her through this crazy, beautiful mess of a life that they had brought her into.

Jane couldn’t help but think of how bittersweet it was that memories of Ashley always flooded her in the important moments. She was once again reminded of _“Ulysses”,_ and how it pertained to her own life _._

 _I cannot rest from travel; I will drink_  
_Life to the lees. All times I have enjoyed_  
_Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those_  
_That loved me, and alone; on shore, and when_  
_Through scudding drifts the rainy Hyades_  
_Vext the dim sea. I am become a name;_  
_For always roaming with a hungry heart_ _  
_ Much have I seen and known.

Through every challenge that she had been dealt, and every hardship, death or injury that she had ever had to overcome, she would never change a thing. She kept striving for life with a hungry heart, despite the many things that she had seen or known. Those experiences were all part of what led her here to this moment.

 _As though to breathe were life! Life piled on life_  
_Were all too little, and of one to me_  
_Little remains; but every hour is saved_  
_From that eternal silence, something more,_ _  
_ A bringer of new things.

Ulysses’ own words may have been more dark and depressing than how they pertained to her own life, but a lot of the same thoughts still applied. Jane had died, and nearly died once again. She would never take for granted, those ‘every hours saved from that eternal silence’, as they were the ‘bringer of new things’.

Kaidan moved to take Hannah’s place, so he could hold his wife. The pair couldn’t care less about what was going on around them. They were alone on this tiny island of family and future, looking down at their daughter.

Astraea. The daughter of titans.

They had created this beautiful life together. Something for which they had never known for sure if they would get. It was well earned through extreme sacrifice and dedication.

The state of the galaxy was not perfect, and it likely never would be. They wouldn't be naive about that anymore, but looking down at their daughter, they couldn’t help but think anything other than _‘much abides’._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Shepard couldn’t possibly give birth in a hospital. How boring. The poor woman.
> 
> And also, I totally couldn’t help myself from using the whole “What would I do without you - You’ll never find out,” line. It's just so good!
> 
> But anyway, there it is, the end. I just want to thank everyone that has stuck through this fic. If you’ve managed to make it this far, I sincerely hope you at least enjoyed reading it. I want to give an extra special thank you to everyone who gave kudos and commented. They do truly mean a lot.
> 
>  
> 
> On a more personal note, I don't really consider this to be among my better writing anymore, but it definitely ended up meaning a lot to me, and even helped me deal with a lot of issues in my real life. This kind of ended up being like an emotional outlet for me in a lot of ways, so I'll always be grateful for that.
> 
> Thanks again, for giving my story a chance.


End file.
